From what Paul and Tristan tell me, the best I can surmise is that they're jealous of losing time with a friend, i.e. you. Tristan and Jenn both got off on very bad feet with eachother and I don't think either's recovered fully. T says he knows that he's going to have to get to the point where he tries harder to be cool with Jenn because she means so much to you, but he's, quote, "not at that point yet".
My guess is Paul is going to get a bit better about it now that he's dating Janet. But even if not, Paul's an ass. You know that. I know that. Jenn knows that. Paul knows that.
I don't know the deal with Melody as I don't see her as often, so most of what I do know about her comes from Paul, whose word I can't always take at full value.
Both of them are uncomfortable (and this may apply to Melody as well, but I'm unsure) that she comes from such a different life than them. The fact that she chose a much more 'adult' path. They're afraid she's going to force you to 'grow up' and that will leave them on the wayside.
Jenn is hurt because she thinks that they're (mostly tristan and paul) taking advantage of you. She's perfectly willing to say 'fuck em' if they don't like her, though obviously the preference would be for everybody to like everybody. She's afraid to tell you too much for fear of turning it into a 'her or your friends' type thing, which I don't even think would be her intent, she's just afraid of it coming off like that. She also, again, got off on a bad foot with both of them. They came off as assholes to her, she came off as uptight to them.
To be entirely honest, I agree with her that they take advantage of you quite a bit. maybe not to the same extent she thinks, as I have a different perspective on all our friendships than she does, but still. If your goal is to make her feel less hurt, I'd suggest you try to lay down some rules. Particularly about use of your place by people who don't live there. From my perspective I find it shocking sometimes how much you let Paul get away with. It's not my place to tell you what to do though, so whatever.
I'm hoping to have some 1 on 1 time with Melody before she goes to Idaho, and I'm sure I'll be able to probe out a bit of info on her thoughts in all of this.
Full disclosure: I adore Jenn. I'm super glad you started dating her because I got an awesome friend out of the deal. And I'm willing to offer any advice or track down whatever info I can to help you guys stay together. She seems to make you quite happy. And I know for a fact that you make her happy. And I'd hate to see some some-times-dickish friends get in the way of that. I don't share info given to me in confidence often, but none of this was strictly in confidence, and for the aforementioned reasons, I want to help you out. But as stated at the beginning, you heard none of this from me.
From what Paul and Tristan tell me, the best I can surmise is that they're jealous of losing time with a friend, i.e. you. Tristan and Jenn both got off on very bad feet with eachother and I don't think either's recovered fully. T says he knows that he's going to have to get to the point where he tries harder to be cool with Jenn because she means so much to you, but he's, quote, "not at that point yet".
My guess is Paul is going to get a bit better about it now that he's dating Janet. But even if not, Paul's an ass. You know that. I know that. Jenn knows that. Paul knows that.
I don't know the deal with Melody as I don't see her as often, so most of what I do know about her comes from Paul, whose word I can't always take at full value.
Both of them are uncomfortable (and this may apply to Melody as well, but I'm unsure) that she comes from such a different life than them. The fact that she chose a much more 'adult' path. They're afraid she's going to force you to 'grow up' and that will leave them on the wayside.
Jenn is hurt because she thinks that they're (mostly tristan and paul) taking advantage of you. She's perfectly willing to say 'fuck em' if they don't like her, though obviously the preference would be for everybody to like everybody. She's afraid to tell you too much for fear of turning it into a 'her or your friends' type thing, which I don't even think would be her intent, she's just afraid of it coming off like that. She also, again, got off on a bad foot with both of them. They came off as assholes to her, she came off as uptight to them.
To be entirely honest, I agree with her that they take advantage of you quite a bit. maybe not to the same extent she thinks, as I have a different perspective on all our friendships than she does, but still. If your goal is to make her feel less hurt, I'd suggest you try to lay down some rules. Particularly about use of your place by people who don't live there. From my perspective I find it shocking sometimes how much you let Paul get away with. It's not my place to tell you what to do though, so whatever.
I'm hoping to have some 1 on 1 time with Melody before she goes to Idaho, and I'm sure I'll be able to probe out a bit of info on her thoughts in all of this.
Full disclosure: I adore Jenn. I'm super glad you started dating her because I got an awesome friend out of the deal. And I'm willing to offer any advice or track down whatever info I can to help you guys stay together. She seems to make you quite happy. And I know for a fact that you make her happy. And I'd hate to see some some-times-dickish friends get in the way of that. I don't share info given to me in confidence often, but none of this was strictly in confidence, and for the aforementioned reasons, I want to help you out. But as stated at the beginning, you heard none of this from me.
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