The badly Photoshopped LoM Fish AU!
Have you ever wondered, right? What if... EVERYONE FROM LIFE ON MARS WAS A FISH!?
WELL xiilnek AND I DID! So... Introducing....
The Life on Mars Fish AU
Lobster!Gene
Lobster!Gene is the fishy Sheriff of Manchester Aquarium. He doesn't actually know that his world is a fake sea - to him, his aquarium tank is a giant, wide ocean, and he polices it well. His natural colouring is a bluey brown colour, like most lobsters (although he has some green algae growing around his chest area). But, unlike other lobsters, when Gene gets angry, he gets SO angry that he turns red and starts to boil the water around him. His claws are especially useful for smacking disobedient fish in the chops. He is also addicted to the little water-purifier drops the humans drop into the tank, which he purchases from Jellyfish!Nelson and stores in his shell-cracks for later consumption.
Seahorse!Sam
Seahorse!Sam is a very rare breed of dark-coloured seahorse, and was picked from the ocean to join the Manchester Aquarium. His seahorse daddy left when he was very small, and he's been scouring the ocean in search of him since. (His dad was actually peddling fish!porn, but shh, Seahorse!Sam doesn't know that!). He spends most of his time fighting with Lobster!Gene and telling everyone that "THIS ISN'T REAL (sea)." But nobody believes him. Seahorse!Sam dreams of getting back to his beloved ocean, but in the end he'll find that the Aquarium suits him just fine.
Clownfish!Chris
Clownfish!Chris is a little dopey sometimes, and provides a lot of comedy (and fin-palming in Sam's case), but he does have an intelligent side. Unlike the others, he's unable to make a cigarette stay lit underwater.
Crab!Ray
Crab!Ray spends a lot of his time hanging around with Clownfish!Chris, trying to pinch Womanfish!Annie's tail and pissing off Seahorse!Sam. He's the best out of all of them at farting big bubbles underwater and he has the unique ability to be very smelly, though he's fully submersed in water at all times.
Womanfish!Annie
Womanfish!Annie has a bit of a crush on Seahorse!Sam, but suspects that the seahorse of her dreams would rather have fishy happy funtimes with their DCI Lobster. She never goes anywhere without her handbag full of grenades.
Flatfish!Phyllis
This flatfish has a grumpy temper and a top fin that could slap the pearls off an oyster. She can also spit ink, so watch out! (Oh, and she loves to have affairs with blind dogfish).
Jellyfish!Nelson
Despite his tropical outward appearance, Jellyfish!Nelson actually comes from the English Channel. Seahorse!Sam is the only one to have figured this out, though. He collects the water-purifying drops that the humans put into the tank and sells them at his fishy pub, The Tentacles.
Catfish!Litton
This is one stylish fish! Catfish!Litton's main aim is to better Lobster!Gene at everything he does. He is in a complicated relationship with Eel!Keats, and likes to chisel little bowties out of coral and preens his catfish whiskers every day.
Eel!Keats
Eel!Keats is a new addition to the aquarium, and feels that his job is to alert everyone to the fact that they're actually in a giant tank, and that if they look at the ceiling, they'll see little twinkly spotlights, not the open sky. His hobbies include reading his little fish!bible, hypnotising Fish!Alex with his long wiggly shape, and trying to feel up Seahorse!Sam when Lobster!Gene's not looking.
Fish!Alex
Like Seahorse!Sam, Fish!Alex comes from the ocean and was caught to be put in the aquarium. Her main function in the group is to provide extra hoity-toityness and to give Lobster!Gene confused feelings. She is capable of wailing louder than any other fish in the tank, and her blue scale-makeup sometimes gets smeared on the glass when she drunkenly bumps into it. She is a water-purifier wino.
Lobster!Stu
Lobster!Stu was Gene's lobster brother. He was, however, hooked on tropical fish, which he licked madly to get a high. Lobster!Gene tried to get him off the tropical fish many times, but in the end Lobster!Stu overdosed when he licked a skanky hoe-fish, and died. Lobster!Gene turned blue for two weeks afterwards, then vowed he would crack down on tropical fish addiction.
Plod!Fish
These fish are the uniformed police of the sea. They carry their batons in their hats, as rucksacks don't fit them.
Squid!Warren
One of the most dastardly villains of the Aquarium. He has a reputation as a dirty fish!fiddler, and often pays for the services of Rent!Fish, such as Cecil, pictured. His curly wig is actually a type of greasy sea-moss.