(no subject)
NO MORE.
no more eating the house, no more purging, no more not-exercising, no more double negatives (ha), no more comparing myself to her, no more longing for that jerk, no more making excuses, no more eating crap, no more screwing off at life, no more feeling pathetic and no more of the past.
NO FUCKING MORE.
I'm sick of sitting on the couch watching stand-up comics and trying to make myself laugh, I'm sick of wishing I could reverse decisions I made my fucking freshman year, I'm sick of comparing myself to someone I really don't want to be, I'm sick of forcing myself to get up in the morning. I'm sick of being self-conscious and upset and out of control. It's time I take over my life.
I'm afraid Alexis won't come to rehearsal tomorrow, because then we might be alone. And I might say what I really feel. Which is twofold. And neither would come to any good.
no more eating the house, no more purging, no more not-exercising, no more double negatives (ha), no more comparing myself to her, no more longing for that jerk, no more making excuses, no more eating crap, no more screwing off at life, no more feeling pathetic and no more of the past.
NO FUCKING MORE.
I'm sick of sitting on the couch watching stand-up comics and trying to make myself laugh, I'm sick of wishing I could reverse decisions I made my fucking freshman year, I'm sick of comparing myself to someone I really don't want to be, I'm sick of forcing myself to get up in the morning. I'm sick of being self-conscious and upset and out of control. It's time I take over my life.
I'm afraid Alexis won't come to rehearsal tomorrow, because then we might be alone. And I might say what I really feel. Which is twofold. And neither would come to any good.