Another round of therapy completed!
Since my sister got her diagnosis of lung cancer on October 8, I've once again been in therapy....a "tune-up" I call it...I believe that when I hit a bump in the road that I have trouble with, it's awesome to check in with my therapist to help me through those land mines that come into my mind and lead me onto the merry-go-round.
Today was the finish. I learned that it's going to be awhile for the grieving to end; that I'll have valleys and hills...the I loved my sister even though for the last 40 years we were apart. We grew up in the same house for 15 years and were abused by my father and that her memories weren't wrong...they were just different. (I'd always thought she must've had an active imagination because "I don't remember that."
I'm a "rules" person, but I've gotten better at seeing the "gray" and life isn't always so "black and white." I still have empathy for Sharon's "peeps" she left behind and it was okay to keep in contact with them for awhile. I got teary-eyed and then I laughed. When I spoke of not keeping sympathy cards Val was incredulous of why I wouldn't save them. She told me the story of how her grandmother saved love letters and cards and so when her dementia hit, her mother would sit her down and give her the box she had saved all these letters and cards, etc. and her grandmother would be comforted by them. "I remember when..." (and it was a memory from long ago, but it was a comfort to her). So....while I've saved cards from Ed and some special ones from friends, I'm going to have Ed make me a "memory box" so I will have a place to put all the treasured cards, notes, and maybe a few of the pictures I have all in one safe place.
Today was the finish. I learned that it's going to be awhile for the grieving to end; that I'll have valleys and hills...the I loved my sister even though for the last 40 years we were apart. We grew up in the same house for 15 years and were abused by my father and that her memories weren't wrong...they were just different. (I'd always thought she must've had an active imagination because "I don't remember that."
I'm a "rules" person, but I've gotten better at seeing the "gray" and life isn't always so "black and white." I still have empathy for Sharon's "peeps" she left behind and it was okay to keep in contact with them for awhile. I got teary-eyed and then I laughed. When I spoke of not keeping sympathy cards Val was incredulous of why I wouldn't save them. She told me the story of how her grandmother saved love letters and cards and so when her dementia hit, her mother would sit her down and give her the box she had saved all these letters and cards, etc. and her grandmother would be comforted by them. "I remember when..." (and it was a memory from long ago, but it was a comfort to her). So....while I've saved cards from Ed and some special ones from friends, I'm going to have Ed make me a "memory box" so I will have a place to put all the treasured cards, notes, and maybe a few of the pictures I have all in one safe place.