A pet peeve of mine...
...one of my biggest, yet kind of petty, pet peeves is when people simply HAVE TO get in front of you in line or get on the bus before you or something to that effect... only to then proceed to be REALLY SLOW, get in the way even more, or to otherwise be a bloody hypocrite.
An example of what I speak of, you ask?
Well, this morning this total douchebag mid-to-late-thirties pleated pants wearing mofo, whom I see waiting for the Eastbound Chicago bus probably 2-3 times a week... decides that his patience has been spent, after waiting all of three frackin' minutes for the bus. He starts pacing around, grumbling to himself and swearing... even right directly in front of some rather apprehensive frail elderly ladies. So by this point, EVERYONE waiting for the bus is uncomfortable because this guy is acting like a complete spastic.
So finally the bus comes after a long 3 minutes of having to attempt to ignore this douchenozzle. The bus pulls up, comes to a stop, and the door to get on comes to rest directly in front of me. But to my left, what did mine eye then see? A big angry douchenozzle glaring down at me! So I tried to move a little forward so as to prevent him from thinking that he should shove his way in front of everyone else... but as soon as that door came open... he pushes himself in front of everyone even knocking one of the aforementioned elderly ladies off balance (fortunately someone helped her).
And THEN what do I get the pleasure of experiencing? The big angry douchenozzle bitching at the bus driver for being late and unreliable! As if three minutes is late... and as if the bus driver is really going to react kindly to a big angry douchenozzle yelling at him. Oh! Did I fail to mention that he is, at this point, blocking everyone else from getting on the bus as well?
So finally, douchenozzle decides that he is going to stomp off toward the back of the bus and I follow right behind him, just after I boarded and cast the bus driver a sympathetic glance. Now, I should preface this part by stating that there were 9 open seats in the rear of the bus, behind the mid-bus exit door... and at least 16 people trying to get on this bus. So what does Mr. Douchenozzle decide to do? Park his nasty, angry, ill-mannered, inconsiderate asshole self... in the middle of the isle, just before the mid-bus exit... standing sideways with his messenger bag blocking any possible passage beyond him with his hands wrapped firmly around the pole (one of the vertical poles that are put there for standing passengers).
And there I am... standing there looking at all of the space behind him... imagining how much smoother things would run if douchebags like this guy were dealt with by firing squad... and weighing the risks in involved with shanking the prick with my pocket knife in broad daylight on a crowded bus. Instead, I decide to shove the douchebag aside, much more forcefully than was necessary and proceed on my merry way to the rear of the bus... Oh ho! But not so fast! Douchenozzle apparently has a problem with the fact that I shoved him out of my way! Whoa ho! I was so surprised!
But really, sarcasm aside... douchenozzle bitches to me, "Hey asshole, don't fucking touch me again." To which I turn bleary eyed and mutter, "Whatever. Go fuck yourself."