fear of rejection
okay im very confused and i know i shouldnt be iv had a really rough, hard and confusing past. No I dont use it as a crutch and yes it effects my everyday life, my relationships in everyway, shape in form, my thinking hapits, my walk, my talk, my actions, even my facila exprcians and who and what i look at what i wear everything i do was formed because of what they did to me, YES I WAS TRAINED AS A SLAVE AS A FORCED SLAVE A BROKEN SLAVE they broke me and used me made me into what they wanted they suceeded yes ive grown into something different they would be astonished for me to be able to say no shivers thinking about it) ive grown alot since then sighs its astonishing but yes i was broken and i can be broken very easily again i need to be protected PLEASE SOMEONE ANYONE PROTECT ME!!!!! BECAUSE I DONT KNOW HOW TO PROTECT MYSELF!!!!! I DONT KNOW WHEN IM BEING MANIPULATED OR ABUSED OR RAPED OR TREATED BADLEY I JUST DONT KNOW BECAUSE IVE BEEN TREATED THAT WAY ALL MY LIFE!!!!! SOOOO PLEASE PROTECT ME!!!!!! EVEN IF I DONT WANT YOU TOO!!!!EVEN IF I BEG YOU NOT TOOO, DEEP DOWN,SOMEWHERE IN MY HEART I DO CARE AND WANT SOMEONE ANYONE TO CARE TO AND PROTECT ME SOO SOMEONE PLEASE PROTECT ME!!!!! anyways please listen to my heart crying out.....for love
okay back to rejection, sorry about that outburst folks.....
okay sissy this is for you i dont get why im so scared and fear of being rejected by you. Im sooo scared of it terrified i know what no means i dont care about that. It doesnt matter to me, its just the asking part, I guess that bothers me I just dont wanna bother you or bug you or be a bother and everytime I spend the night I always seem to cause drama between you and lackland and I dont wanna cause you or him pain. It hurts me to hear you cry and be upset sweetie, no matter what the reason is. I dont like seeing you or him in pain. I love you both I enjoy spending time with you both and i miss and love you both but not at the expense at causeing you both pain. Before you understood me it hurt how you treated me and I think thats why im afraid (deepdown) to come to you about things -i think not sure but it hurt shruggs but yeah anyways its not you its me- i wanted to come over tonight-because im sick and i wanted to be with and lackland and im terrified about tomarrow and im afirad i wont get up in time ill miss the apt i feel like shit and i wanna be with you guys and feel loved but i was too afraid to ask- just to afriad that was the real reason why i called i wanted to be with you and eat with you and hug and love on you- was just to chicken to say so-shruggs-seems simple dont it??-well it aint-love you both blessings-hope you dont think down on me for this
okay back to rejection, sorry about that outburst folks.....
okay sissy this is for you i dont get why im so scared and fear of being rejected by you. Im sooo scared of it terrified i know what no means i dont care about that. It doesnt matter to me, its just the asking part, I guess that bothers me I just dont wanna bother you or bug you or be a bother and everytime I spend the night I always seem to cause drama between you and lackland and I dont wanna cause you or him pain. It hurts me to hear you cry and be upset sweetie, no matter what the reason is. I dont like seeing you or him in pain. I love you both I enjoy spending time with you both and i miss and love you both but not at the expense at causeing you both pain. Before you understood me it hurt how you treated me and I think thats why im afraid (deepdown) to come to you about things -i think not sure but it hurt shruggs but yeah anyways its not you its me- i wanted to come over tonight-because im sick and i wanted to be with and lackland and im terrified about tomarrow and im afirad i wont get up in time ill miss the apt i feel like shit and i wanna be with you guys and feel loved but i was too afraid to ask- just to afriad that was the real reason why i called i wanted to be with you and eat with you and hug and love on you- was just to chicken to say so-shruggs-seems simple dont it??-well it aint-love you both blessings-hope you dont think down on me for this