Deathly Hallows uberwank: Chapter 34, The Forest Again

[fera_festiva]

PRINCESS LEIA: Luke, tell me. What's troubling you?
LUKE: Vader is here, now, on this moon.
PRINCESS LEIA: How do you know?
LUKE: I felt his presence. He's come for me. He can feel when I'm near. That's why I have to go. As long as I stay, I'm endangering the group and our mission here. I have to face him

Comments

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Actually, while we're on the subject of painless death, why is the AK curse unforgiveable, anyway? Presumably accio-ing someone's small intestine wouldn't technically be "unforgiveable", even though it would involve a much slower and more gruesome death.

wonky magic system/rules, again. you¡re better off not thinking about it; it'll save you quite a few headaches (brought on by either thinking or repeated head-desking)

mmmm kinder eggs. the resurrection stone-- i'm pretty sure that's what it does: produces false visions of your dead loved ones. so it's like having them back, only not really. didn't the tale of the three brothers say that whats-his-name with the stone went insane because of it? so dumbledore knew this, but didn't tell harry that they were just hallucinations, so that he'd be convinced they were real.

my conclusion: the mary sue cloaking device is the only hallow worth having, the other two suck (the elder wand seems like more trouble than it's worth.)

golden orb

wait, how did fanon!remus' eye get in here

I also like the part where Sirius and Remus grab hands and exchange a swift kiss, glowing with happiness and... DAMMIT.

i remember that part!! no of course it wasn't wishful thinking what are you talking ab

Remus looks sober. And, being an angry, bitter slash fangirl, I like that Remus is happy and Tonks, though dead, is nowhere to be seen. Fish in a barrel, I know. Still.

he doesn't need booze anymore! maybe sirius's kisses are like fire-whiskey too. :D hahaha.
there's a joke here somewhere about sirius drinking during OoTP, but i can't find it.

also, notice how he doesn't even mention tonks in that scene. i want to feel bad for her, but i can't. the OTP glee overpowers everything else. don't worry, tonks, you can go have a threesome with fred and moody.

.. Wow. I really am a horrible person. :-/

well, i lol'd, if it makes you feel any better.

ps. i was thinking how he'd get the money for child support and my mind went straight down to the gutter. good job, me.

i don't see how bellatrix panting would remind harry of ginny, and i reeeeally don't want to go there.

The only explanation I can manage is that JKR wants to show us that Harry is thinking about Ginny a lot, but I'm not sure it works.

yeah. it's just random. i mean, yeah, there's free association, etc... but i don't buy it here, because it just feels like clumsy writing.

the comforting bit was just added for poignancy. sorry JKR, but if i wasn't feeling the h/g love before, that's not going to be enough.

I bet your average wizard gets pretty jittery in a nightclub

hahaha! :D

He survives. This is completely inexplicable.

I KNOW WTF. there was a recent interview where jkr said something along the lines of "i love hagrid! who could not love hagrid?" i was just like... are you KIDDING me?

[fera_festiva]

my conclusion: the mary sue cloaking device is the only hallow worth having, the other two suck

I agree. The stone is good for nothing except driving you mad and the wand is basically the world's most two-faced gun.

wait, how did fanon!remus' eye get in here

LOLOLOLOL

there's a joke here somewhere about sirius drinking during OoTP, but i can't find it.

Haha, awesome! (Possibly there's also an angsty fic in there, about Sirius's kisses literally tasting of whisky, which is why Remus drinks it...)

ps. i was thinking how he'd get the money for child support and my mind went straight down to the gutter.

Hmm. I find your ideas fascinating and would like to subscribe to your newsletter. :D *Adds to plotbunny heap*

"i love hagrid! who could not love hagrid?"

WTF? Hagrid stopped being likeable a long time ago. He reminds me of, say, my aunt's dog - it's never been trained and is spoiled and stupid, and smells disgusting and slobbers everywhere. My aunt likes the dog, of course she would, it's her dog. She can't see anything wrong with the way it behaves. The rest of the world hates the stinking creature.

Also, sometimes Hagrid humps the furniture and has to have cold water thrown on him to calm him down.

:D