Comments | fera_festiva: Deathly Hallows uberwank: Chapter 19, The Silver Doe

fera_festiva

Deathly Hallows uberwank: Chapter 19, The Silver Doe

Dec 04, 2007 11:40

Disclaimer tiem nao! OK, so these are hardly family-friendly most of the time, but this one is really, really not safe for work - specifically, because it contains even higher levels of profanity than usual and... um...

... look, it's got what I guess is NC-17 Harry/Ron in it, all right? I didn't mean to write it. Cliche of cliches, it just sort ( Read more... )

deathly hallows uberwank

Comments 21

minnow_53 December 4 2007, 14:56:47 UTC

That was brilliant! :) Pretty well had everything, even a reference to a book I guessed the ending of ages early, because of certain clues in the names, if we're thinking of the same book, but anyway.

The porn rocked, the videos were apposite -- though I'd accidentally left my speakers on before I clicked on the second one, and had to listen to the WHOLE of a song I've managed to avoid for several years. But the illustration was perfect. The doe with all the trimmings was great. Well, it was all great.

I was wondering idly whether we ever find out what James's Patronus was. It wasn't a deer, was it? That's just Harry. Maybe I've been missing something.

Anyway, I loved this. Because I work at home, I always love clicking on something that isn't worksafe, because it makes me feel big and important. :D Well worth the wait! &hearts x many. The icon is what I you.

fera_festiva December 4 2007, 22:49:32 UTC

The book I'm thinking of is by Kate Atkinson - that one?

It figures you'd have spotted the ending either way, on the grounds that you are far too clever. :D I am dense and never see these things coming. Unless I have been unable to contain myself and have looked up the ending on wikipedia or something. :P

The porn rocked

THANK YOU. I was very, very worried about including the porn. It was only sort of a joke, you know...? And I'd never written anything like it before.

I don't think we ever find out what James's patronus is - just because he's so rarely "on screen", as it were, that I can't think when we'd have seen it or heard about it. I could be wrong though.

Hmm - what else -

I'd accidentally left my speakers on before I clicked on the second one

Well, don't say I didn't warn you. :D Srsly, "You're beautiful" is surely one of the most horrifically chilling songs ever written. :-/ Thank you so much for your lovely comments, as always! (I mean, I say that to everyone, but your comments are always so massively encouraging and ( ... )

minnow_53 December 5 2007, 17:49:52 UTC

Yes, Kate Atkinson's first novel! Well, I think it was her first.

Porn works best when it's slightly tongue in cheek! I don't mean that literally... It was brilliant, like everything else in this instalment. Except for 'You're Beautiful'. :D

Thank you for writing such wonderfully entertaining HP commentary! Your Uberwank never fails to brighten up my day. :)

sonofabiscuit77 December 4 2007, 18:40:01 UTC

Hi! I haven't commented before, but I've just been reading your wank-fests over the past few days and literally snorting with laughter. I would love to do a long review of the whole lot, but that would just be tedious, so I just want to mention some things I particularly *adored ( ... )

fera_festiva December 4 2007, 23:15:53 UTC

Hi, nice to meet you. :D It's always so lovely to find new people are reading. As for your intriguing ideas...

Does Narcissa shop in Primark?

Yes, but she pronounces it "Primarche" without a hint of irony. Voldemort prefers George at Asda.

Who are the bothans and who cares?

Exactly. :D

alcholism also works for me, in fact the depression would just lead to the alcholism...

This is what's so weird - drunk Remus started off as a sort of flippant joke made one evening after half a bottle of wine or whatever - but it makes perfect sense the more I think about it. To the point that I can't really see his behaviour as being directly caused by anything else - although you're right about the underlying Sirius factor being part of it, and I'm convinced their relationship was kept secret from everyone too. Especially JK Rowling....

I just remember being so pleased that Ron was back

Me too - Harry and Hermione sulking together is boring, and anyway, I like Ron. His flaws seem a bit more, well, human than Harry's, and certainly more real. ( ... )

sonofabiscuit77 December 5 2007, 15:06:17 UTC

Does Narcissa shop in Primark?

Yes, but she pronounces it "Primarche" without a hint of irony. Voldemort prefers George at Asda.

Or as my sister calls it, Primani.

I like Ron. His flaws seem a bit more, well, human than Harry's, and certainly more real. I care more about Ron feeling inadequate compared to his siblings than I do about all Harry's, "Oh noes, I have to save the world! Oh noes, what if I have to use my powers for killing?"

Yes! Exactly. Ron does come across as a real person. Although I am no fan of CAPSLOCK! Harry and his endless teenage snits, they do make him seem like a teenager - most teenagers are annoying, woe-is-me self-obsessed people and Harry definitely falls into that category. It's the endless allusions to his bravery, sacrifice and that ridiculous happy-to-accept-his-own-death thing at the end of the book that don't work for me.

fera_festiva December 5 2007, 17:50:05 UTC

Primani = LOL. :D

Agreed on CAPSLOCK!Harry. Yeah, he was kind of annoying, but I thought that was the point - JKR didn't want to create a "pure" hero, or keep him a kid forever like the Famous Five. She wanted him to go through the shouting, smash-it-up, emo phase, because, frankly, it's normal (or at least extremely common!). Of course, it backfires when she brings all the messiah stuff in later - I'll rant about this in detail in that chapter, obviously, but I find Harry pretty unconvincing on the whole "I'm going to sacrifice myself for those I love" thing given that he hits someone with a Cruciatus curse the same day. *Raises eyebrow*

spacefragments December 5 2007, 00:33:27 UTC

urg, i feel horrible for not commenting on these, but i assure you that i'm still reading and enjoying them. in fact, you always seem to post shortly after i wake up, so it's a great way to start my day ( ... )

spacefragments December 5 2007, 03:22:39 UTC

so many characters

hmm well, i re-read the comment and after thinking about it for a couple minutes, that was probably an exaggeration. i don't know. i have a headache.

fera_festiva December 5 2007, 18:25:01 UTC

i don't know what to feel about harry. there were so many times i wanted to hit him in the head, but then i was like... aww, i still like him and even if he can be an idiot of epic proportions he's still a good kid :(

Yeah, totally... I'm getting so deeply immersed in DH as a result of the Uberwank that I keep forgetting what Harry was like in earlier books, and forgetting how much I like him. Like, for example, I remember reading GoF for the first time and feeling so, so sad when Cho turned him down for the ball. I wanted to give him a hug.

I don't know why he's such an annoying dumbass in this one. JKR being lazy, I guess. :(

at least i could identify *somewhat* with his fears, they might be "less terrible" compared to harry's, but... i don't know. they felt more realistic?

Oh, definitely. Not only are his fears realistic, but the reasons behind them are realistic too. Ron comes out of it looking insecure, but he is insecure. For everything, I still like Ron ( ... )

spacefragments December 5 2007, 18:49:25 UTC

I dunno, I just think it's a bit vague.

maybe it has something to do with the idea/image of family or whatever. the stag as the father, doe as the mother, etc. since her family was so important to lily, and that's why it's a doe instead of a stag? i don't know, i'm just throwing half-assed ideas around. /shrug

and you're welcome. :D

vickythefluffy December 5 2007, 16:44:08 UTC

'I'd be calling Ron an "uncle-fucking jizzstain" or "dog-raping shitflap" or simply a "monumental cock"' -- superb, although I think the screenplay writers for GoF would feel mildly insufficient with their mind-blowingly tame "piss off" (bravo Ron).

One of you best chapters, honestly, and OOH you make me feel smug and knowledgeable! I think I know the book, I'm doing it for my comparative essay fandango! But yeah, I don't want to ruin it like you say, but I know what you mean about all the little clues etc. so huzzah, and down with useless plot-devices! =D

PS. Sorry for never singing your praises before now, I am too lazy to be constructive.

fera_festiva December 5 2007, 18:30:12 UTC

There should be way more swearing in the HP movies. I'm still holding out for Quentin Tarantino to direct DH, ensuring that the dialogue is liberally sprinkled with "motherfuckers". :D

I think I know the book, I'm doing it for my comparative essay fandango!

Hee - if it's the same book, I did an essay on it too, for an elective course at uni.

Sorry for never singing your praises before now, I am too lazy to be constructive.

Not at all - I am always massively flattered to get nice comments! Thank you so much and here's to being too lazy to be constructive. ;)

vickythefluffy December 5 2007, 20:10:16 UTC

Hahaha, that'd be quite something wouldn't it? "Your wand, Selwyn, you motherfucker, give me your wand!" Voldy gets that little bit more hardcore. And I pluck that quote from nowhere mainly because I am a smug git seeing as my actual surname is the very same *smug*

Oohh what was the essay on? I might steal ideas (mwu ha ha). Mine's rather dull, comparing it with The Great Gatsby on the theme on the past. Ooh.

And it's my pleasure! =D

fera_festiva December 6 2007, 12:45:18 UTC

Your surname is Voldemort? ;)

As for the essay - I can't remember the exact question, but the course in general was on writing by women since 1920 (or something like that). I ended up talking about representations of motherhood and daughterhood, specifically the thing of "Oh god I'm turning into my mother" and how that had been written about - like, the inherent dread of doing so, etc. In both fiction and non-fiction, so I looked at Atkinson and Amy Tan and Nancy Friday and a whole bunch of other unrelated works. :-/

I can't even remember what the conclusion was. I just remember the whole thing being really difficult, mainly due to me being a psychology student and used to writing lab reports and the occasional literature review. However, the tutor was sufficiently drippy that it didn't seem to matter much. :D

Thread 6

cristiline December 5 2007, 23:18:02 UTC

Lily being a doe pissed me off as well. Maybe Snape knows James was a stag, so he thinks of Lily as a doe? Or something? Since Arthur's Patronus is a weasel, does that mean Molly's Animagus form would be a female weasel?

And I wish Jo would explain stuff like the Deluminator! I think she just stopped trying during the last two books. I think Megan from SnapeCast pointed out that all the interesting magical theories (life debts, time travel, the whole Department of Mysteries) just got thrown out in this book.

Yes, Gryffindors are stupid. That's why I'm a Ravenclaw.

Think of how he almost murders Draco - who is a mean little turd and all, but as far as Harry knows is pretty much just an incredibly annoying kid in his year at school.To be fair, Draco was a Death Eater and tried to Crucio Harry right before that. And Harry didn't know what Sectumsempra did. Although I suppose that makes him even more stupid for using some random spell labeled "For enemies ( ... )

fera_festiva December 6 2007, 12:47:19 UTC

Maybe Snape knows James was a stag, so he thinks of Lily as a doe? Or something?

I can imagine that's the reasoning behind her being a doe - but you'd think Snape of all people would be more likely to see Lily as independent of James (he was happy to save her but not James and Harry, remember). *Sigh*... I dunno.

I think she just stopped trying during the last two books.

I think so, too. The feeling I got from those last two was that she was really a bit bored of Harry but she knew she had to finish it, so she was just treating it like a job that needed doing, rather than being passionate about it any more. She did an interview around the time of OotP where she said she thought book seven would be the longest of all, even longer than book five, because she'd have trouble "letting go" (or something) but then actually both six and seven were shorter and seemed... more rushed, I guess.

To be fair, Draco was a Death Eater and tried to Crucio Harry right before that. And Harry didn't know what Sectumsempra did.That's a fair point. (My ( ... )