Comments | fera_festiva: Deathly Hallows uberwank: Chapter 18, The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore

fera_festiva

Deathly Hallows uberwank: Chapter 18, The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore

Nov 28, 2007 15:00

Having posted the last chapter, I realised I had made a grievous error. I had reported that we learn of Bathilda Bagshot's death, but I failed to mark this tragic event - the death of a random character we've never properly met before - in the appropriate manner. Please allow me to do so now, and I hope you will accept my apologies.

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( As you know, your father, the king, once went camping. )

deathly hallows uberwank

Comments 17

evil_underlord November 28 2007, 15:43:26 UTC

Why. Just why does he think to put the wand in the magic sack and not anything important? In terms of charms that are displayed in the books, the one that we're told is on the bag seems spectacularly powerful, and yet he still insists on using it to store his broken nostalgic crap.

That would be like me getting a safety deposit box at the bank and using it to store my old debit cards, while simultaneously insisting on leaving my wallet (in which I've kept both cards and their corresponding pins on 'handy' post-it notes) on the table when I go to the toilet at cafes, because 'no-one would steal it from a crowded place, would they?'

t00b.

also: evil_underlord November 28 2007, 15:44:26 UTC

( ... )

Harry? Listen for a sec. fera_festiva November 28 2007, 19:49:31 UTC

( ... )

Don't worry Harry, Ginny may not be around but you'll always have yourself evil_underlord November 28 2007, 20:52:23 UTC

( ... )

Thread 5

apology accepted:) tough_as_petals November 28 2007, 17:10:10 UTC

you resist the dirty jokes??!! But those are my favourite!

and I've always thought that Dobby = JarJar Binks. Totally loveable, but the kind you want to strangle 99% of the time.

Re: apology accepted:) fera_festiva November 28 2007, 18:30:53 UTC

The thing is, I love dirty jokes too. But they really are too easy with this material. It would be like compromising myself.

Oh, OK then. HAHAHAHAHA IT SOUNDS A BIT LIKE HARRY AND HAGRID HAD BUM SEX

XD

I waver on Dobby. Sometimes I hate him, and think he is Jar Jar, but at other times when I'm feeling more charitable I'd call him an Ewok. It's tricky, because there are obvious parallels with most of the main characters (Harry = Luke, Dumbledore = Yoda etc) but it's harder to call with the more peripheral characters. At times I'd consider Tonks the Jar Jar of the series.

I've thought about this waaaaaay too much. :-/

minnow_53 November 28 2007, 17:18:18 UTC

Yay! :) I got here nice and early this time.

When I was 19 I spent a couple of months as a camp counsellor in Pennsylvania.

Now, that is EXACTLY my sort of camping, as opposed to the Fucking Camping Holidays at the end! :D If you count me out of the cookouts, that is: the ersatz garlic bread sounds pretty gross, and, you know, primitive. /: I really enjoy your RL revelations, as I've mentioned before.

I could wish that JKR's original camping saga had included equally entertaining elements. Sometimes the real world trumps the magic one; or maybe I'm just jaded after seven volumes. And at least she included the Dumbledore subtext, which was almost as loud and clear as the apparently non-existent R/S subtext.

Harry recognises that Dumbledore probably loved Grindelwald way more than he loved Harry.Actually, given all the times we saw the bond between Harry and Dumbledore, it's probably just as well JKR didn't break teh gay news earlier. I mean, somebody said that the main slash pairing in HBP was Harry/Dumbledore, and there's ( ... )

fera_festiva November 28 2007, 18:49:03 UTC

At summer camp, "camping" is the least of your worries... :D And yeah, "primitive" is exactly right.

I've been Fucking Camping about twice and each time I probably felt more wretched than, you know, ever before. The worst was one year at Reading festival where the tent leaked and the Underlord forgot his sleeping bag and... no, actually, I'm not going to make myself relive it. God, enough about camping! :D

fera_festiva November 28 2007, 19:01:57 UTC

Ah shit, I hit "post" too early. Where was I?

Actually, given all the times we saw the bond between Harry and Dumbledore, it's probably just as well JKR didn't break teh gay news earlier.

Yeah, good point. Considering how much wank erupted post-HBP anyway... (I mean, I don't think I ever saw their relationship as a particularly homoerotic one - much more Werther's Original advert - but... yeah. Wank.)

I also feel we ended up with a lot of Harry/Draco too.

I ♥ Harry/Draco. It was my first real slash pairing, and the first fic I read... I was bout to say "in this fandom", but it's probably more like first fic ever, was Harry/Draco. So even though it was never my OTP like Remus/Sirius was, I have such a soft spot for it.

And I still remain convinced, or near enough, that Draco is totally in the closet. I can't see it being exactly for the only son and heir of a couple of pure-blood death eaters to come out, plus he shows a continuing obsession throughout the books with Harry's arseI think my point is, yay H/D subtext! Mmmm ( ... )

oddsbobs November 28 2007, 22:17:13 UTC

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

...oh goodness, where to start. Brilliant entry, my dear. :)

I think I'll just touch on two points, and leave the poor way she handles characters alone. That topic would just take up way too much time.

The magic pouch and Bagshot's age: Two more technical aspects of the book that any REALLY DECENT AUTHOR shouldn't have issues with. The bag could have held the horcrux, but no, we needed a reason to have Ron walk off and what's better than the One Ring a horcrux ( ... )

fera_festiva November 29 2007, 19:04:38 UTC

Thank you! I'm so happy you're enjoying this. :)

These are both little, technical things that any other author would have thought about. You don't just leave an interesting piece of magic on the kitchen table still in its shrinkwrap.

Yes. And what's frustrating is that, on the other hand, there are a ton of spells and charms and whatever that get totally overused by the good guys, but rarely, if ever, used by the bad guys. Polyjuice potion was old meme by the end of GoF, and yet the trio and the Order seem to bring it out all the time - and simultaneously, Tonks's shapeshifting is never used. It doesn't make sense. For all that JKR says she had the books planned from the start and everything, I get the distinct impression she made up most of the "rules" of her world as she went along.

Keep the parameters of your fantasy world in a semblence of order, or our suspension of disbelief will crumble.And that, my friend, sums up every reason these books now annoy me. :D There's so little in this book and in HBP that I'm convinced by - it ( ... )

oddsbobs November 30 2007, 02:01:46 UTC

Polyjuice potion was old meme by the end of GoF, and yet the trio and the Order seem to bring it out all the time - and simultaneously, Tonks's shapeshifting is never used. It doesn't make sense.

Precisely. I was really waiting for Tonks to be kickass... but she just simpered on the sidelines. Phah. Can't wait to read your Harry/Ginny, Remus/Tonks rant. :D

Suspension of Disbelief before OotP:

( ... )

fera_festiva November 30 2007, 18:17:51 UTC

LOL, LOL, LOL at the picture and the video. :D Perfect summary.

I will save most of the rant for later, but I will say this now: Tonks is totally fucking pointless.

cristiline November 28 2007, 23:58:38 UTC

Comment about their ages: Yes, Jo sucks at math. However, according to an interview Jo gave before Dumbledore was 150. And one of Harry's OWL examiners tested Dumbledore's NEWTS. I suppose the 115 age is more canon since it came later, but Jo screwed that up too. On her site she said that he died in 1996. But he actually dies in 1997.

As for the Dumbledore/Grindelwald not being more obvious, I was under the impression that it was unrequited. It was kind of unclear from the interview though.

Oh, and what's scoubidou?

I can't wait for the next chapter!

fera_festiva November 29 2007, 19:22:26 UTC

On her site she said that he died in 1996. But he actually dies in 1997.

I totally had not spotted that. Man, that really takes the piss.

As for the Dumbledore/Grindelwald not being more obvious, I was under the impression that it was unrequited. It was kind of unclear from the interview though.

I wasn't sure either... but the "unrequited" thing, if I recall correctly, was how it was reported in a particular news article, rather than what JKR said. So I am being optimistic, for perhaps the first time in my life, and assuming it went both ways. Also, it's hotter that way. :)

Scoubidou is this sort of plastic string stuff. It comes in bright colours, and you can braid it or knot it together in different ways to make keyrings and bracelets and things. According to wikipedia it's called Boondoggle in the US, although I never hear that on camp, it was always "lanyard".

Thank you so much for commenting - I'm really pleased you're enjoying the Uberwank! :)