Deathly Hallows uberwank: Chapter 9, A Place to Hide

[fera_festiva]

After that brief hiatus - UPDAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!1!11one

HAN SOLO: Out of the frying pan into the fire, huh pal? How should I know we'd come outta hyperspace into the middle of an Imperial convoy. At least against these fighters we got more of a chance. However slim...

- Star Wars Holiday Special

Comments

[tough_as_petals]

entertaining, as always, but I think I'll come back for a re-read once my percocet kicks in - percocet makes everything more entertaining:D

[fera_festiva]

I had to look up percocet to find out what it was. It sounds good! I spent quite a lot of yesterday yamming painkillers myself. They were quite delicious.

I'm glad you liked it anyway - and I hope the percocet helps! :)

[minnow_53]

Good to see you back! :) It's actually quite an atmospheric chapter: and you've recreated the atmosphere rather nicely, even though you're not altogether serious here. :D I'm sure I've seen stars in London, though. LOTS of stars. But that's a digression.

Pity they didn't find a Starbucks, isn't it? Perhaps you can write that into the next lot of new canon. With the threesome. Anyway, I'm sorry the comment is so, so much less inspired than your post, but I am in awe of your re-creation and enjoying it immensely. Well, you've probably figured that out by now!

[fera_festiva]

Thank you! :) The more I think about it, the more I'm sure I've seen stars in London too (maybe not in central London though). Oh well. I like ranting about minor issues. :)

The trio in a Starbucks would have been fantastic and I wish I'd thought of it. "Hey Hermione," Ron said. "What's a venti skinny caramel frappuccino? Some kind of muggle drink?" "No, Ron," Hermione replied. "Nobody knows what that is."

Your comments are lovely and this one is no exception, so hush. ♥

[anonymous]

Hello again... Yes it is indeed that particular sofa-based lifeform. I'm intruiged that you feel guilt at changing the course of history rather than that warm fuzzy feeling of knowing that you are helping to save lives... but anyway

[fera_festiva]

I love the fire station style death eater HQ, and the Disguiseius Builderius charm. Presumably it automatically whacks a copy of today's Sun in your back pocket and makes your arse swell to twice its normal size so it spills out of your trousers. You make some very good points about the timing as well - after all, I thought whole point of death eaters was that they are happy to kill muggles randomly.

However, while I am intrigued by all your questions (and would like to subscribe to your newsletter), I think they can be answered in one short sentence:

Death eaters are n00bs.

[loveangelstar]

Oh God eventually I have had the time to read this again!
I bet you thought I had forgotten about you like one of those annoying people who claim to want to have your babies after one comment and then never talk to you ever again. I must admit I suck quite a lot at keeping up with my LJ friends but I always make it up in the end. Plus I had an excuse this time, I was doing tres important exams *le sigh* and no one of them was not french. I seem to have just slipped into Fleur mode for no reason :D

Anyway I never know what to say after you have made me laugh so hard so I shall quote something that made me spit my coke over the screen. Dammit only the other day I was wondering how long it was going to take me to break this screen. I'm not sure it can take anymore of me spitting coke at it. I always do it! Maybe I should just refrain from drinking coke while I'm at the computer (actually it is pepsi today but we shall not get into specifics)

So here is the quote of your own funniness :)

If only he'd had the balls to kiss Malfoy that

[fera_festiva]

Haha, thank you! Your comments have really made me LOL, and I've had a crappy day, so cheers for that too! :D

I love Emo Draco so much. I'm glad you did also. I seriously have so much fun making up emo scenarios for him. There will be HBP-Uberwank at some point, and oh the emo!

Sorry this reply's a bit lacking, but it's Friday night and I'm knackered, so this'll have to do. :) But thank you so much for your lovely comments, and I'm really glad you're enjoying this!

[delphipsmith]

"Filth! Scum! Perverts! Gay werewolves!"

Aha, Mrs Black is a sekrit Remus/Siruis shipper!!

Harry is pissed off and starts looking at the tapestry on the wall, examining the inbreeding

Yeah, apparently not only does Wizarding Britain only have one secondary school and one Wizard village, it also has a very very limited number of actual wizards. Odd. Perhaps the magic reduces their fertility...

If only he'd had the balls to kiss Malfoy that time in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, instead of letting his fear take over and - ahem - slashing Malfoy instead.

*snort* Another excellent pun. Well, at least Harry inspired hordes of imitators: ever since then, EVERYONE has slashed them ;)

By the way, in looking up the definition of "lairy lager lad" (the first third, that is; the rest was self-explanatory) I was led to this site, where I learned also that "lazy lob" is slang for "a semi-erect penis." This sheds a whole new light on the little song Bilbo Baggins sings to the spiders in Mirkwood...

[fera_festiva]

it also has a very very limited number of actual wizards

IKR? It's not just that there are very few families, it's also that those families only ever seem to have one kid. Off the top of my head, I can only think of two sets of siblings: the Weasleys, and the Blacks (i.e. Sirius and Regulus).

Or perhaps they've started to die out because they only have gay sex.

ever since then, EVERYONE has slashed them ;)

Hee! I hated HBP when I first read it because it sunk my then-OTP, and it wasn't until I re-read it later that I realised how unbelievably homoerotic it is. XD

Thank you very much for the penis slang - another one for my collection. XD Also, IDK what it says about me that I saw your link containing the words "song" and "Bilbo Baggins" and assumed it was this.

[delphipsmith]

IDK what it says about me that I saw your link containing the words "song" and "Bilbo Baggins" and assumed it was this.

I've seen that!! It's sidesplitting. He *must* have been on drugs, there is just no other explanation :D

[fera_festiva]

Well, either that or he was suffering from what I like to call "I'm famous and nobody is brave enough to tell me no" syndrome. Another famous sufferer of this is, funnily enough, J K Rowling. :]