Day 05 - Your definition of love, in great detail.
I have decided that the "days" part of this here 30-days-meme only refers to days upon which a) I don't post anything else, b) I don't have comments to answer (still reeling from that one!) and c) I can be arsed.
Today's question is HARD, anyway. >:C
When I was a child, I had no idea how to define love because I was lucky enough to be loved unconditionally and without having to think about it.
When I got a little older and started getting picked on and bullied, I stopped thinking anyone loved me at all, or ever would. So love was defined as something I couldn't have and would never have and didn't deserve anyway, cry cry.
Then, as a result of all that I became the world's greatest wangster and started defining love by quoting the Manic Street Preachers (which was, at that time, my default response to ANYTHING): "There is no true love, just a finely-tuned jealousy". (Actually, I still think there's a grain of truth in that. Romantic love can be obsessive and possessive.) I just declared I didn't believe in love at all, that it didn't exist. This was - though I didn't realise it at the time - a symptom of my growing depressive state, which would be diagnosed and medicated into submission within months.
Then I had a bad relationship with a bad man and love was something unpleasant and awkward and unwanted that I nonetheless didn't deserve and was lucky to be getting from him.
Then I dumped him and disappeared to America for a bit and had a very bad patch followed by a pretty good one, during which I went head-over-heels for a blue-haired goth boy I barely knew. That was one of the times I believed in, like, movie love. It was a crush, of course.
Then I met the Underlord and got lucky and you get no more details than that.
I'm not as angsty as I used to be but I can't define love any better than I ever could. Also, this question is stupid.
Love is quite nice and also can hurt. That's the best I've got.
Today's question is HARD, anyway. >:C
When I was a child, I had no idea how to define love because I was lucky enough to be loved unconditionally and without having to think about it.
When I got a little older and started getting picked on and bullied, I stopped thinking anyone loved me at all, or ever would. So love was defined as something I couldn't have and would never have and didn't deserve anyway, cry cry.
Then, as a result of all that I became the world's greatest wangster and started defining love by quoting the Manic Street Preachers (which was, at that time, my default response to ANYTHING): "There is no true love, just a finely-tuned jealousy". (Actually, I still think there's a grain of truth in that. Romantic love can be obsessive and possessive.) I just declared I didn't believe in love at all, that it didn't exist. This was - though I didn't realise it at the time - a symptom of my growing depressive state, which would be diagnosed and medicated into submission within months.
Then I had a bad relationship with a bad man and love was something unpleasant and awkward and unwanted that I nonetheless didn't deserve and was lucky to be getting from him.
Then I dumped him and disappeared to America for a bit and had a very bad patch followed by a pretty good one, during which I went head-over-heels for a blue-haired goth boy I barely knew. That was one of the times I believed in, like, movie love. It was a crush, of course.
Then I met the Underlord and got lucky and you get no more details than that.
I'm not as angsty as I used to be but I can't define love any better than I ever could. Also, this question is stupid.
Love is quite nice and also can hurt. That's the best I've got.