homecoming
Okay I am not sure what I was expecting by my return to Sin City, I knew the mayor was not going to throw a parade or anything. I started to read a book last night called something about maybe you are just not into him either. It was very interesting but I guess it wasn't what I needed to be reading when I came home to the guy I am not so sure about. I had talked to Brian once while I was gone, after he had a very bad day and I recieved several text messages. Which now I wonder if they were guilt text messages or at least the ones on Sunday morning. He was pretty quite when I got home, kept asking about my trip and I guess I did a pretty good job of tying up the conversations, that I never thought to ask about his weekend, which I guess if I did early in the evening, I might not still be thinking about it this morning. The good news is it wasn't Jacqua, the bad news he met several girls this weekend. I guess I need to leave town more often, it would improve his social life. Now there are several emotions tied up in here. I guess I should be glad that he was honest with me, even though I believe he was just making sure i did not hear it from one of my co-workers that was there for the last hook up. And I should be glad that he is out there and dating right. I guess I feel a little guilty myself like I am holding him back, he said something about it was nice to be able to bring them back to the house. I guess this would be so easy if I would get my act together and get out there again. Then this morning I read this thing about how the clock is ticking so loud if I ever want to have healthy kids, that the statistics say. I guess I just had never thought about it and I guess a week with Jake made me think about it. But it is so comfortable where I am. He is my best friend, and he gets me. But he is just not into me. Sometimes we fail and we need to pick ourselves up and swallow our pride. How many times do I have to get hurt before I stop touching the stove. I knew I was getting to attached again, but I kept thinking maybe this time it is different and yet again, I am hearing my friends so clear in my head, I told you so, you know better.