Gay Monogamous Relationships? Why so Rare?

[fenrix]

For the longest time I've been leaning toward finding myself a monogamous relationship (when I haven't been trying to run from interested people at least). Honestly though, I'm finding it very difficult to even find anyone else who's looking for that. Why are monogamous relationships so rare? When I do find someone who might be interested in one

Comments

[donryu]

It's unfortunate but people only seem to operate on that one level.

What a relationship means is unconditional love. Meaning through both the rough times and the good times. But this isn't something that's never been said before. The chemistry of a good relationship is simple in writing but very hard to accomplish nonetheless.

Any given fandom is centralized around what people tend to fantasize about or what they simply can't have in reality. While being anthropomorphic characters may only be a fantasy, the next runner up would be a relationship. People dream about the idea of a relationship and fall in love with the idea. But the thing is you can't just treat a relationship like a hobby. You have to be interested in the person and want to share your life with them. They have to be your friend when you don't need a lover. And someone to nurture you when no one will nurture.

From a very withdrawn standpoint, looking at relationships from the outside in, ( not just in the furry fandom) looks like such a lonely existance because people only operate with what is best for them or way too much in what is best for the other person. There's way too much giving or taking but no one really understanding each other on the same wavelength.

People going into polygymous relationships seem to be people who really don't want to commit. While I'm sure there's a 3 or 4 some of people out there where it works, the only examples I've been able to observe from are very temporary and shallow relationships. Based on people who just want sex, or it's 3 people going after one person but not actually liking each other however too insecure to really aknowlege that they can do better. The other examples are just exagerrated stories from people who make them up on the spot just simply to say you're wrong when it's just them wanting to believe that they are right.

Yes as a matter of fact I want a monogamous relationship, but I'm not hunting for one. I beleive that that will find it's way to me. I won't settle for anyone. I only want the best or nothing at all.. I can imagine it would be terribly lonely in a relationship with a person whom you have because they simply fill a position.

[fenrix]

yeah, sad as it is, most people do work on only that level. Well, the furry aspect I'm slowly trying to decide on that as well. I dunno if I want to continue trying to find a relationship in the fandom, with how things seem in it honestly. Most people don't seem to want to work that hard in a relationship. A lot of people move from one to the next, treating them as a hobby, as you said. It seems especially true of younger people I've noticed. Which is why I tend to avoid people under at least 25 (prefer to find someone closer to mine, but that's seeming increasingly unlikely) as well. I've been feeling rather jaded lately because of my last relationship. Every time anyone tries to get close to me I tend to avoid them now.

AS for polygamous relationships, I can see how those might work to an extent. Limited open relationships might do well with the right people as well, but you've got people on the outside that might very well try to divide you anyways so they can get involved with one of you anyways.

I'd rather not settle for a relationship myself, that would result in a very unstable relationship, and it would not last long either.