With Grace In Your Heart (3/?) - Harry Potter
Story Title: ...With Grace In Your Heart
Chapter Title: Getting Under My Skin
Fandom: Harry Potter (Marauder's Era AU)
Characters/pairings: Mainly Severus/Laura (OFC), with background Lily/James. Largely focused (in this chapter) on Lily.
Warnings: AU. Um... possibly swearing later on? I don't know, it seems like a very PG fic.
Disclaimers: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury Publishing. Laura is my friend Tina's. And the title is from the Mumford & Sons song After The Storm.
So basically, nothing is mine, and nothing makes profits, so all is well.
Summary: Since they first met, Severus Snape's life has revolved around one person; Lily Evans. And she's decided to change all that... by setting him up with someone else.
A totally self-indulgent AU exploring what could have been.
A/N: ...and I made myself cry. Yay.
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"Who put you up to it?" Severus strode after Laura, his jaw tight. He'd spent the remainder of the lesson with his head down, ignoring the snickering of the rest of the class and the obvious, stifling concern of Professor Slughorn, but inside, he had been fuming - and still was. True, he considered Laura little more than a casual acquaintance who happened to share his interests (at least, so he told himself), but he had supposed she had more sense than that. More reliability.
In fact, he was hurt. Genuinely, and surprisingly, he was hurt. No, she wasn't a friend - since Lily, he didn't like to think in terms of friends - but he had thought she was, if nothing else, an ally. She generally sympathised with his dislike of Potter and Black's antics, and at least seemed thoroughly genuine in doing so. She had always tended to the sensible, logical side of things, much as he tried to. She was one of the last people he would have expected to find implicated in yet another prank at his expense.
Because what else could it be?
He wasn't blind, or stupid, and he hadn't held his own against Potter and Black for six and a half years by wandering blindly into every trap. And this one was obvious. Painfully obvious. So obvious, in fact, that he half-suspected some double-cross. After all, whatever else you could say about him - and people had said plenty - Severus Snape was undeniably aware of his own shortcomings. It was hard not to be, after seventeen years of having them hurled back at you. He knew full well he was ugly, unhygienic, vitriolic, antisocial, and all the rest. All of those were things he had accepted long ago - even embraced.
But none of those precisely screamed 'eligible bachelor', did they? Particularly not when it came to somebody like Laura, who had always shown about as much interest in becoming entangled in a relationship as Severus himself. Perhaps even less.
Which was why he had been quite so taken aback by her proposal - so surprised, in fact, that he'd ruined a potion entirely, which was a blunder he was sure would smart for a while yet. If there was one thing Severus had about himself to prize above all else, it was that he never, ever put a step wrong in Potions. As much as that, it was the fact that he had been corralled into such a ridiculous display of emotion by something so ridiculous. Today had been an embarrassment, and if this was a prank - what do you mean, 'if'? - then whoever the perpetrator was had already got their money's worth.
And that meant that Severus would just have to get back at them. He wasn't about to let something like this slide.
"Who put you up to it?" he repeated, pressing his lips together as he caught up with her.
"Nobody put me up to anything," Laura said cagily, speeding up a little. Her cheeks looked a little pink, and Severus seriously doubted that it was from exercise. Moving a little faster himself, he stepped around in front of her, his heavy eyebrows beetling together. His hurt didn't show on his face - he was adept at hiding little things like that - but his anger did; the lines of his features were drawn taut, and his dark eyes flashed.
"Don't insult my intelligence," he spat. "I know you better than that, Baines. Who was it?"
"Nobody," she repeated. "Severus, is it really so unthinkable that I asked you because I wanted to?"
"Frankly, yes." There was a tightness in his throat, all of a sudden. He pushed it away, jaw tightening more than ever. Hurtful enough that she would mock him like that. Worse that she would mock him so continuously and relentlessly. He would never have thought it of her - her of all people. His lips moved silently for a moment, before he spoke. "I'm sure you have better things to do on a Hogsmeade weekend, Baines. You should hurry up, you'll be late to your next class." He stepped aside, watching her steadily. She hesitated a moment, looking at him with what almost seemed like concern, then turned and hurried off.
When she was gone, Severus all but collapsed against the harsh stone of the wall, feeling its roughness against his back. For once, he didn't spare even a thought for what he might look like to his fellow students, although habit kept his face stony and expressionless. He touched his fingertips to his temple, looking thoughtful for a moment, then let out a deep breath. "Merlin," he muttered, irritably, and stalked off in the opposite direction. There was somebody he needed to find.
Of course, that was easier said than done. The person he needed was in a different House, after all, and after wandering the castle for a good half-hour, he was forced to admit that she was either in her own common room or in a lesson - either way, he wasn't about to have his chance any time soon. And it was so difficult, in any case, when he would have to keep his head down about talking to her - both from his own House and from hers, both of whom were likely to give him trouble for it.
In any case, Lily was almost always in the company of that lout Potter nowadays. Severus might relish the conflict, particularly when he was in as foul a mood as now, but it wouldn't precisely help with speaking to her.
In the end, he settled himself in to wait for his chance. All through dinner, his eyes flicked now and then to the Gryffindor table, hoping against hope that she would decide to leave on her own for once. He even briefly considered sneaking out of his dorm and catching her on patrol, but that was an idea entertained for only a moment before he realised that her patrol would be with Potter, as well. Merlin, how had they got to be so inseparable? It made him sick to his stomach.
Eventually, as the Great Hall emptied and he was left almost alone in the enormous room, still deep in thought, he came to a decision. The note was short, and carefully charmed so that only Lily could read it:
Evans,
We need to talk about what you told Baines. Meet me by the lake as soon as you can.
Snape.
He folded the parchment neatly into his hand, holding it lightly as he stepped outside. The October air was crisp and clear, and the stars were just beginning to come out in a clear sky that was still blue. His breath hung in frigid clouds; winter, he thought to himself, was coming on fast this year, and that was fine by him.
Pausing on his way to the lakeside, he looked up at the high walls of the castle, narrowing his eyes for a moment to see in the gathering darkness. The lights were on in her room. Perfect. Pulling out his wand, he opened the hand which held his note, and stood to watch it flutter up into the dark. For a moment after the little scrap of paper disappeared from view, he remained there, still watching, and then abruptly turned on his heel, striding towards the lake.
It was a good half-hour before she joined him there, and he was beginning to wonder whether he might have wasted his time utterly. But he was still sitting there, straight-backed, legs crossed, staring out over the water, when he heard her come up behind him.
"You took your time," he said, without looking around. Hoping it was Lily, because otherwise, that coolness could blow up in his face.
"Sorry." It was her. Thank Salazar for that; he could do without any more awkwardness in his day. "I had to shake James. You know what he's like."
"Unfortunately," Severus remarked dryly, "he's never given me much space to ignore what he's like. Much as I would love to." Now he turned his head - now, as she sat down next to him, he finally looked at her. Even in the dark, even here and now, she was beautiful enough to make his heart ache. He forced himself to ignore it, with a conscious effort. Now wasn't the time. "You told Laura to ask me out." Not an accusation, even, but a simple statement of fact.
"She told you I did?" Lily sounded surprised.
"Where else would I have found out?" Technically, he wasn't lying. Misdirecting, at worst. And, besides, Laura had told him - she just hadn't known she was doing it. "Evans, you had no right."
There was a moment - a long, stretched-out second of silence. When she answered, there was a tautness in her voice that hadn't been there before. "I had no right, Snape? I had no right to try and set you up with someone you might actually be happy with, but you have the right to stalk me?" Her voice was starting to rise. He knew that tone. That was a righteous-anger tone, the kind he'd heard her use against her sister a hundred times.
And, as always, he felt his own temper rising, too.
"You had no right," he repeated, in a deceptively soft voice. "When have I ever needed your pity, Evans? I didn't need it in fifth year, and I don't need it now. When - when - have I ever needed your help to be happy?"
Again, that pause. When she spoke again, her voice was soft and sad, all the anger gone.
"Severus," she said, quietly, looking away, "when have you ever been happy?"
Chapter Title: Getting Under My Skin
Fandom: Harry Potter (Marauder's Era AU)
Characters/pairings: Mainly Severus/Laura (OFC), with background Lily/James. Largely focused (in this chapter) on Lily.
Warnings: AU. Um... possibly swearing later on? I don't know, it seems like a very PG fic.
Disclaimers: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury Publishing. Laura is my friend Tina's. And the title is from the Mumford & Sons song After The Storm.
So basically, nothing is mine, and nothing makes profits, so all is well.
Summary: Since they first met, Severus Snape's life has revolved around one person; Lily Evans. And she's decided to change all that... by setting him up with someone else.
A totally self-indulgent AU exploring what could have been.
A/N: ...and I made myself cry. Yay.
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"Who put you up to it?" Severus strode after Laura, his jaw tight. He'd spent the remainder of the lesson with his head down, ignoring the snickering of the rest of the class and the obvious, stifling concern of Professor Slughorn, but inside, he had been fuming - and still was. True, he considered Laura little more than a casual acquaintance who happened to share his interests (at least, so he told himself), but he had supposed she had more sense than that. More reliability.
In fact, he was hurt. Genuinely, and surprisingly, he was hurt. No, she wasn't a friend - since Lily, he didn't like to think in terms of friends - but he had thought she was, if nothing else, an ally. She generally sympathised with his dislike of Potter and Black's antics, and at least seemed thoroughly genuine in doing so. She had always tended to the sensible, logical side of things, much as he tried to. She was one of the last people he would have expected to find implicated in yet another prank at his expense.
Because what else could it be?
He wasn't blind, or stupid, and he hadn't held his own against Potter and Black for six and a half years by wandering blindly into every trap. And this one was obvious. Painfully obvious. So obvious, in fact, that he half-suspected some double-cross. After all, whatever else you could say about him - and people had said plenty - Severus Snape was undeniably aware of his own shortcomings. It was hard not to be, after seventeen years of having them hurled back at you. He knew full well he was ugly, unhygienic, vitriolic, antisocial, and all the rest. All of those were things he had accepted long ago - even embraced.
But none of those precisely screamed 'eligible bachelor', did they? Particularly not when it came to somebody like Laura, who had always shown about as much interest in becoming entangled in a relationship as Severus himself. Perhaps even less.
Which was why he had been quite so taken aback by her proposal - so surprised, in fact, that he'd ruined a potion entirely, which was a blunder he was sure would smart for a while yet. If there was one thing Severus had about himself to prize above all else, it was that he never, ever put a step wrong in Potions. As much as that, it was the fact that he had been corralled into such a ridiculous display of emotion by something so ridiculous. Today had been an embarrassment, and if this was a prank - what do you mean, 'if'? - then whoever the perpetrator was had already got their money's worth.
And that meant that Severus would just have to get back at them. He wasn't about to let something like this slide.
"Who put you up to it?" he repeated, pressing his lips together as he caught up with her.
"Nobody put me up to anything," Laura said cagily, speeding up a little. Her cheeks looked a little pink, and Severus seriously doubted that it was from exercise. Moving a little faster himself, he stepped around in front of her, his heavy eyebrows beetling together. His hurt didn't show on his face - he was adept at hiding little things like that - but his anger did; the lines of his features were drawn taut, and his dark eyes flashed.
"Don't insult my intelligence," he spat. "I know you better than that, Baines. Who was it?"
"Nobody," she repeated. "Severus, is it really so unthinkable that I asked you because I wanted to?"
"Frankly, yes." There was a tightness in his throat, all of a sudden. He pushed it away, jaw tightening more than ever. Hurtful enough that she would mock him like that. Worse that she would mock him so continuously and relentlessly. He would never have thought it of her - her of all people. His lips moved silently for a moment, before he spoke. "I'm sure you have better things to do on a Hogsmeade weekend, Baines. You should hurry up, you'll be late to your next class." He stepped aside, watching her steadily. She hesitated a moment, looking at him with what almost seemed like concern, then turned and hurried off.
When she was gone, Severus all but collapsed against the harsh stone of the wall, feeling its roughness against his back. For once, he didn't spare even a thought for what he might look like to his fellow students, although habit kept his face stony and expressionless. He touched his fingertips to his temple, looking thoughtful for a moment, then let out a deep breath. "Merlin," he muttered, irritably, and stalked off in the opposite direction. There was somebody he needed to find.
Of course, that was easier said than done. The person he needed was in a different House, after all, and after wandering the castle for a good half-hour, he was forced to admit that she was either in her own common room or in a lesson - either way, he wasn't about to have his chance any time soon. And it was so difficult, in any case, when he would have to keep his head down about talking to her - both from his own House and from hers, both of whom were likely to give him trouble for it.
In any case, Lily was almost always in the company of that lout Potter nowadays. Severus might relish the conflict, particularly when he was in as foul a mood as now, but it wouldn't precisely help with speaking to her.
In the end, he settled himself in to wait for his chance. All through dinner, his eyes flicked now and then to the Gryffindor table, hoping against hope that she would decide to leave on her own for once. He even briefly considered sneaking out of his dorm and catching her on patrol, but that was an idea entertained for only a moment before he realised that her patrol would be with Potter, as well. Merlin, how had they got to be so inseparable? It made him sick to his stomach.
Eventually, as the Great Hall emptied and he was left almost alone in the enormous room, still deep in thought, he came to a decision. The note was short, and carefully charmed so that only Lily could read it:
Evans,
We need to talk about what you told Baines. Meet me by the lake as soon as you can.
Snape.
He folded the parchment neatly into his hand, holding it lightly as he stepped outside. The October air was crisp and clear, and the stars were just beginning to come out in a clear sky that was still blue. His breath hung in frigid clouds; winter, he thought to himself, was coming on fast this year, and that was fine by him.
Pausing on his way to the lakeside, he looked up at the high walls of the castle, narrowing his eyes for a moment to see in the gathering darkness. The lights were on in her room. Perfect. Pulling out his wand, he opened the hand which held his note, and stood to watch it flutter up into the dark. For a moment after the little scrap of paper disappeared from view, he remained there, still watching, and then abruptly turned on his heel, striding towards the lake.
It was a good half-hour before she joined him there, and he was beginning to wonder whether he might have wasted his time utterly. But he was still sitting there, straight-backed, legs crossed, staring out over the water, when he heard her come up behind him.
"You took your time," he said, without looking around. Hoping it was Lily, because otherwise, that coolness could blow up in his face.
"Sorry." It was her. Thank Salazar for that; he could do without any more awkwardness in his day. "I had to shake James. You know what he's like."
"Unfortunately," Severus remarked dryly, "he's never given me much space to ignore what he's like. Much as I would love to." Now he turned his head - now, as she sat down next to him, he finally looked at her. Even in the dark, even here and now, she was beautiful enough to make his heart ache. He forced himself to ignore it, with a conscious effort. Now wasn't the time. "You told Laura to ask me out." Not an accusation, even, but a simple statement of fact.
"She told you I did?" Lily sounded surprised.
"Where else would I have found out?" Technically, he wasn't lying. Misdirecting, at worst. And, besides, Laura had told him - she just hadn't known she was doing it. "Evans, you had no right."
There was a moment - a long, stretched-out second of silence. When she answered, there was a tautness in her voice that hadn't been there before. "I had no right, Snape? I had no right to try and set you up with someone you might actually be happy with, but you have the right to stalk me?" Her voice was starting to rise. He knew that tone. That was a righteous-anger tone, the kind he'd heard her use against her sister a hundred times.
And, as always, he felt his own temper rising, too.
"You had no right," he repeated, in a deceptively soft voice. "When have I ever needed your pity, Evans? I didn't need it in fifth year, and I don't need it now. When - when - have I ever needed your help to be happy?"
Again, that pause. When she spoke again, her voice was soft and sad, all the anger gone.
"Severus," she said, quietly, looking away, "when have you ever been happy?"