Brief Return? I had an urge to write.. and i carried it out.
You ever kind of get that feeling like life itself is just passing you by? As if your standing on the dock waiting for the boat to take you to get things started, clouds keep rolling, tides keep rising and time goes on; or some such rabble of analogitical spew.
Its that kind of thoughtframe where you just seem to see that you are 'stuck' so to speak. I've gone to school, did pretty well with my classes this year and got an awsome review with the practicum. What next? Well I get a job for what I went to school for, then go back to school to advance so that I can make more and make my mark in life. I was sitting there at grad feeling kind of dazed, a "wow I did it" feeling. Also the kind of annoying feeling that I was alone there, surrounded by people. People that that had friends and family there, or were there for someone. Surrounded by a sea of people, yet no one was there for me.... don't take this as whining, rather an observation and reflectoin. And kind of a summeration of how I realize life seems sometimes.
People I went to school with have passed away, people I've met in life have come and gone. Bridges have burnt along the way, people getting pregnant, sex, drugs, money, alcohol, having kids, getting married, getting sick, getting stuck. I guess. I laugh alot and have a great time, but even with all these things happening in life people seem to seclude themselves from thier surroundings and everything that is going by. And with all these appearant negative things in life people still find the time to hate and make trouble for the rest....
To everything there is a balance though, so many hate and have so much malice, yet there is beauty and love to be found in the world. I'm talking about the simple things people rarely truly appreciate, things that I often rarely take the time to stop and appreciate. For instance the sun setting, how grande. Its often romanticised in movies and literature and possibly rightfully so. I remember the only time I can recount from memory where I actually watched a sunset. I was living in Cranbrook years ago and Drew and I were standing on my roof, where I often went for the hell of it. Few if any words were said rather it was just a moment to sit there and essentially just bask in it.
I sometimes wonder if I still have the capacity to just sit back once and a while and look at the finer points in life. Not so much the cheap thrills and brief good times, but all the things that are often overlooked, or have I somehow become so embittered that it has become harder to accomplish. Its a bit odd getting in those mindframes where you sometimes wonder if the best parts of your life have allready happened, now you just wait for the credits.
That whole schpeal sounds a lot more depressing than I had intended.
....
Its that kind of thoughtframe where you just seem to see that you are 'stuck' so to speak. I've gone to school, did pretty well with my classes this year and got an awsome review with the practicum. What next? Well I get a job for what I went to school for, then go back to school to advance so that I can make more and make my mark in life. I was sitting there at grad feeling kind of dazed, a "wow I did it" feeling. Also the kind of annoying feeling that I was alone there, surrounded by people. People that that had friends and family there, or were there for someone. Surrounded by a sea of people, yet no one was there for me.... don't take this as whining, rather an observation and reflectoin. And kind of a summeration of how I realize life seems sometimes.
People I went to school with have passed away, people I've met in life have come and gone. Bridges have burnt along the way, people getting pregnant, sex, drugs, money, alcohol, having kids, getting married, getting sick, getting stuck. I guess. I laugh alot and have a great time, but even with all these things happening in life people seem to seclude themselves from thier surroundings and everything that is going by. And with all these appearant negative things in life people still find the time to hate and make trouble for the rest....
To everything there is a balance though, so many hate and have so much malice, yet there is beauty and love to be found in the world. I'm talking about the simple things people rarely truly appreciate, things that I often rarely take the time to stop and appreciate. For instance the sun setting, how grande. Its often romanticised in movies and literature and possibly rightfully so. I remember the only time I can recount from memory where I actually watched a sunset. I was living in Cranbrook years ago and Drew and I were standing on my roof, where I often went for the hell of it. Few if any words were said rather it was just a moment to sit there and essentially just bask in it.
I sometimes wonder if I still have the capacity to just sit back once and a while and look at the finer points in life. Not so much the cheap thrills and brief good times, but all the things that are often overlooked, or have I somehow become so embittered that it has become harder to accomplish. Its a bit odd getting in those mindframes where you sometimes wonder if the best parts of your life have allready happened, now you just wait for the credits.
That whole schpeal sounds a lot more depressing than I had intended.
....