Fender Reviews: GOTR's Murphy's Law.
Just gave a listen to GOTR's "Murphy's Law." Since I still have apprehensions about purchasing the album due to not wanting Charlie deMars to benefit from the sales, I'm glad someone put the whole thing on YouTube. Sucks for the other fellows though, I suppose.
I can't say I'm surprised by how much I didn't enjoy this listening experience.
Truth Is: I have always disliked this song; don't judge me. I will say that this album version has some excellent musicality to it, and, for once, it's better than James's solo version. And by better, I mean that I can sit through it. Nice guitar riffs... and James plays the cowbell. It needs MOAR COWBELL. Like 20% more cowbell.
Transferring Energy: If you don't like Charlie's weepy emo arse singing and his grief-y poor-me love ballads, then you won't like this song. I can't be too hard on this song 'cause I think James's kid may be singing the background vocals, and I can't hate on Mini-Marsters. Have you seen him? The kid has adorable blonde afro-puff hair. On a positive note, I do like the piano bridge in the song mixed with the guitars crashing in. Reminds me of Meatloaf... or something equally 80s magick... BUT! Stop with the snapping! Clapping, snapping, etc. are hallmarks of Marsters-related music. FAIL!
Too Fast: This song was, is, and will always be awful. It features one of the worst lines in all of music- "What am I? Like a potato chip to you?" It's not just the line; it's the delivery of the line. "Potato" is apparently one of the words James should never be allowed to say. *head-desk* And, yes, it's the Eliza Dushku song... about James wanting to fuck her and her being too promiscuous or something. I have no idea. Anyways, I am amazed that the one song that they decided to keep relatively unchanged from James's version is this one when it was the one that needed to be fixed so badly. I am reminded of Statler and Waldorf.
Statler: That was the song?
Waldorf: It was dumb!
Statler: It was obvious!
Waldorf: It was pointless!
Statler: It was... short.
Statler and Waldorf: We loved it!
Only I have no love for this song. It is creepypasta.
The Key: This song is under two minutes of Charlie whining with a piano. Was this even a track?
Strippers: The beginning of this song sounds like the THX sound system promo. You know the one- "The audience is now deaf!" one. While this song sounds like a rip-off of old school Wheezer (and it is), it actually works to the song's advantage because the only way to make a song about those soul-ripping women who only survive by fucking up men's lives tolerable is to rip-off a much better band's sound. However, there is Cinema Snob's rule #1 for movies that applies here- "Never make reference to a better movie in your shitty movie," so referencing Wheezer only makes this track look worse by comparison.
Smile: This song can kiss my arse. This song was gorgeous. Seriously, it was one of the prettiest songs about fucking you'll ever hear... and it's one of my favourite Jamesy numbers, but now they've gone ruined it. Blasted ukuleles can kiss my arse too! You can't hear the lyrics for the fucking stockpile of instruments they've crammed in!
One Love, One Exception: Sigh, there's a really good guitar track buried in this mess of a track. I can just barely hear it trying to escape. The bridge isn't half-bad, but it's completely lost.
Moonshot: The opening of this song tricked me. I started out thinking, "Oh, here's a stripped down song that will be as good as the original." I was wrong! STOP THE FUCKING SNAPPING IN THE BACKGROUND OMG!!!1! Stop it with the tambourine and the synthesizer too! I like the original of this song, but I don't like this track. It's too much junk in the background. It just needs to be a man and a guitar because it's a very intimate song (about James and his current wife prior to their marriage while he was filming Moonshot). It's also got like over a minute of just the same guitar riff over and over again with radio transmission static and FUCKING SNAPPING at the end. ARGH!
Men Who Die: Rip-off of Radiohead's Karma Police with more reverb at the beginning and then, in the last minute of the song, descends into a Meatloaf rock opera sans the balls. If the whole song had sounded like the last minute, it would have been much improved.
Is Shoes: Oh, joy, it's one of those famous Charlie deMars word-plays. Can you sense my rapture? Sigh. Actually, outside of that, this song is not bad. It's less cluttered than the rest of the tracks, but it still suffers from the vocals being drowned out about half-way through with the guitars. Also, I don't mind the "oh la la la"s, but don't combine the "oh la la la"s with FUCKING CLAPPING! Oh, my God, stop the clapping!
Go Luck Yourself: What the fuck is this? I don't even. Sounds like generic screamo without the girly screaming, feels like a bunch of grown men trying to do generic screamo and not fully understanding what screamo is. It's "Deathcab for Marsters" and "Bullet for My DeMars."
Finer Than Gold: One of James's best songs ever. It's the story of a man really wanting to impress his girlfriend (now his wife), so he buys her some expensive jewelry... but he didn't realize that in trying so hard to impress her that he bought her a necklace that didn't look right on her. If you've never seen him sing this live, then you will never know how gorgeous this song is. I've heard him sing it in concert three times, and James never fails to get choked up or start crying when he's performing it. However, none of that raw emotion comes across in this track. It's been stripped down to a very generalized ballad sound with annoying clapping in the background. The lyrics are totally overshadowed by too much instrumentation. It's not as bad as I feared it would be, but nothing can top this song being performed acoustically by James alone.
Figures: ... Uhn tiss. Uhn tiss. Unn-fucking-tiss. I hate you, Charlie. It's like Electric Light Orchestra got rolled in a blender with My Chemical Romance without the talent of either. Please, stop this madness. I'm so tired of Charlie and his "I'm so avant-garde! Listen as I stick random electrical noises and reverbs for over a minute at the end of a track! I'm brilliant!" bullshit.
Blind Eyes: Generic. Repetitive. With random heart-beating at the end with clocks ticking.
Alone (the Cowboy Song): This song makes me cry, and not because it was bad or anything! This is just beautiful. It's the best track on the whole album. Hands down. It's just James's voice with a touch of reverb. No instruments. No annoying clapping or snapping. No random synth or stock noises thrown in. Just a man singing as a character, lamenting his lost love. If you don't know, this is the song that James wrote while filming "High Plains Invaders" from the point-of-view of his character, Sam Danville. I love this song, and the only thing I can say is that GOTR didn't fuck it up. They left it the hell alone, and I feel like giving them kudos for not fucking up an already good song is ridiculous.
Best tracks: Alone, Finer Than Gold, and Is Shoes.
Worst tracks: Figures, Too Fast, and Go Luck Yourself.
You know, when the only things I can think of if someone were to ask me to describe GOTR's signature sound are "repetitive, unnecessary stock noises to fill up space on a track so people don't realize they are paying for an album full of 1.5 minute songs" and "fucking up tracks that were already good," I think these fellows need to go back to the well and stop making albums that sound like they threw darts at genre types on a bulletin board. I need some liquor to take the pain away.
I can't say I'm surprised by how much I didn't enjoy this listening experience.
Truth Is: I have always disliked this song; don't judge me. I will say that this album version has some excellent musicality to it, and, for once, it's better than James's solo version. And by better, I mean that I can sit through it. Nice guitar riffs... and James plays the cowbell. It needs MOAR COWBELL. Like 20% more cowbell.
Transferring Energy: If you don't like Charlie's weepy emo arse singing and his grief-y poor-me love ballads, then you won't like this song. I can't be too hard on this song 'cause I think James's kid may be singing the background vocals, and I can't hate on Mini-Marsters. Have you seen him? The kid has adorable blonde afro-puff hair. On a positive note, I do like the piano bridge in the song mixed with the guitars crashing in. Reminds me of Meatloaf... or something equally 80s magick... BUT! Stop with the snapping! Clapping, snapping, etc. are hallmarks of Marsters-related music. FAIL!
Too Fast: This song was, is, and will always be awful. It features one of the worst lines in all of music- "What am I? Like a potato chip to you?" It's not just the line; it's the delivery of the line. "Potato" is apparently one of the words James should never be allowed to say. *head-desk* And, yes, it's the Eliza Dushku song... about James wanting to fuck her and her being too promiscuous or something. I have no idea. Anyways, I am amazed that the one song that they decided to keep relatively unchanged from James's version is this one when it was the one that needed to be fixed so badly. I am reminded of Statler and Waldorf.
Statler: That was the song?
Waldorf: It was dumb!
Statler: It was obvious!
Waldorf: It was pointless!
Statler: It was... short.
Statler and Waldorf: We loved it!
Only I have no love for this song. It is creepypasta.
The Key: This song is under two minutes of Charlie whining with a piano. Was this even a track?
Strippers: The beginning of this song sounds like the THX sound system promo. You know the one- "The audience is now deaf!" one. While this song sounds like a rip-off of old school Wheezer (and it is), it actually works to the song's advantage because the only way to make a song about those soul-ripping women who only survive by fucking up men's lives tolerable is to rip-off a much better band's sound. However, there is Cinema Snob's rule #1 for movies that applies here- "Never make reference to a better movie in your shitty movie," so referencing Wheezer only makes this track look worse by comparison.
Smile: This song can kiss my arse. This song was gorgeous. Seriously, it was one of the prettiest songs about fucking you'll ever hear... and it's one of my favourite Jamesy numbers, but now they've gone ruined it. Blasted ukuleles can kiss my arse too! You can't hear the lyrics for the fucking stockpile of instruments they've crammed in!
One Love, One Exception: Sigh, there's a really good guitar track buried in this mess of a track. I can just barely hear it trying to escape. The bridge isn't half-bad, but it's completely lost.
Moonshot: The opening of this song tricked me. I started out thinking, "Oh, here's a stripped down song that will be as good as the original." I was wrong! STOP THE FUCKING SNAPPING IN THE BACKGROUND OMG!!!1! Stop it with the tambourine and the synthesizer too! I like the original of this song, but I don't like this track. It's too much junk in the background. It just needs to be a man and a guitar because it's a very intimate song (about James and his current wife prior to their marriage while he was filming Moonshot). It's also got like over a minute of just the same guitar riff over and over again with radio transmission static and FUCKING SNAPPING at the end. ARGH!
Men Who Die: Rip-off of Radiohead's Karma Police with more reverb at the beginning and then, in the last minute of the song, descends into a Meatloaf rock opera sans the balls. If the whole song had sounded like the last minute, it would have been much improved.
Is Shoes: Oh, joy, it's one of those famous Charlie deMars word-plays. Can you sense my rapture? Sigh. Actually, outside of that, this song is not bad. It's less cluttered than the rest of the tracks, but it still suffers from the vocals being drowned out about half-way through with the guitars. Also, I don't mind the "oh la la la"s, but don't combine the "oh la la la"s with FUCKING CLAPPING! Oh, my God, stop the clapping!
Go Luck Yourself: What the fuck is this? I don't even. Sounds like generic screamo without the girly screaming, feels like a bunch of grown men trying to do generic screamo and not fully understanding what screamo is. It's "Deathcab for Marsters" and "Bullet for My DeMars."
Finer Than Gold: One of James's best songs ever. It's the story of a man really wanting to impress his girlfriend (now his wife), so he buys her some expensive jewelry... but he didn't realize that in trying so hard to impress her that he bought her a necklace that didn't look right on her. If you've never seen him sing this live, then you will never know how gorgeous this song is. I've heard him sing it in concert three times, and James never fails to get choked up or start crying when he's performing it. However, none of that raw emotion comes across in this track. It's been stripped down to a very generalized ballad sound with annoying clapping in the background. The lyrics are totally overshadowed by too much instrumentation. It's not as bad as I feared it would be, but nothing can top this song being performed acoustically by James alone.
Figures: ... Uhn tiss. Uhn tiss. Unn-fucking-tiss. I hate you, Charlie. It's like Electric Light Orchestra got rolled in a blender with My Chemical Romance without the talent of either. Please, stop this madness. I'm so tired of Charlie and his "I'm so avant-garde! Listen as I stick random electrical noises and reverbs for over a minute at the end of a track! I'm brilliant!" bullshit.
Blind Eyes: Generic. Repetitive. With random heart-beating at the end with clocks ticking.
Alone (the Cowboy Song): This song makes me cry, and not because it was bad or anything! This is just beautiful. It's the best track on the whole album. Hands down. It's just James's voice with a touch of reverb. No instruments. No annoying clapping or snapping. No random synth or stock noises thrown in. Just a man singing as a character, lamenting his lost love. If you don't know, this is the song that James wrote while filming "High Plains Invaders" from the point-of-view of his character, Sam Danville. I love this song, and the only thing I can say is that GOTR didn't fuck it up. They left it the hell alone, and I feel like giving them kudos for not fucking up an already good song is ridiculous.
Best tracks: Alone, Finer Than Gold, and Is Shoes.
Worst tracks: Figures, Too Fast, and Go Luck Yourself.
You know, when the only things I can think of if someone were to ask me to describe GOTR's signature sound are "repetitive, unnecessary stock noises to fill up space on a track so people don't realize they are paying for an album full of 1.5 minute songs" and "fucking up tracks that were already good," I think these fellows need to go back to the well and stop making albums that sound like they threw darts at genre types on a bulletin board. I need some liquor to take the pain away.