the past
i miss the past
i miss...
high school, where i was surrounded by people i could relate to.
the teen center, where i was surrounded by people who loved me.
i was an individual and people loved that i was who i was, and wouldn't ask me to change.
and my friends were individuals, and i loved them each for different reasons, but i was happy.
i used to come home with a smile on my face just because i had a good day laughing and goofing off with my friends.
a good day...
i can't even comprehend a good day now.
i don't even remember the last time i fell asleep thinking about what a great day i had, with a smile on my face, and excitement to do it all over again the next day.
holy hell i don't even really feel anymore, its sick
the people i knew in syracuse were amazing and i took it for granted that people like that existed all around me. I never would have imagined that going to a different town in the same state would take me so far away from the kinds of people i feel at home with.
today i felt a part of my old self shining through, as i found it in me to actually want to listen to someone else, and as i found a smile forming on my face as i heard how well a friend of mine was doing. That old familiar feeling of overwhelming empathy, where my own emotions can actually be altered just by knowing how a good friend is feeling. That is how i used to care for people, but it's changed so much, and so i realize now that more than anything else... i miss who i used to be. it just took a friend to bring it out of me.... and thats what i'm missing here... a friend.
i miss...
high school, where i was surrounded by people i could relate to.
the teen center, where i was surrounded by people who loved me.
i was an individual and people loved that i was who i was, and wouldn't ask me to change.
and my friends were individuals, and i loved them each for different reasons, but i was happy.
i used to come home with a smile on my face just because i had a good day laughing and goofing off with my friends.
a good day...
i can't even comprehend a good day now.
i don't even remember the last time i fell asleep thinking about what a great day i had, with a smile on my face, and excitement to do it all over again the next day.
holy hell i don't even really feel anymore, its sick
the people i knew in syracuse were amazing and i took it for granted that people like that existed all around me. I never would have imagined that going to a different town in the same state would take me so far away from the kinds of people i feel at home with.
today i felt a part of my old self shining through, as i found it in me to actually want to listen to someone else, and as i found a smile forming on my face as i heard how well a friend of mine was doing. That old familiar feeling of overwhelming empathy, where my own emotions can actually be altered just by knowing how a good friend is feeling. That is how i used to care for people, but it's changed so much, and so i realize now that more than anything else... i miss who i used to be. it just took a friend to bring it out of me.... and thats what i'm missing here... a friend.