Title: That Old Devil Called Love
Author:
the_girl_20 (Angie)
Recipient:
ryslerFandom: Xena: Warrior Princess
Pairing: Aphrodite/Gabrielle (kinda)
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1,237
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Renaissance. But I've stolen Ares and I'm keeping him.
Summary: A little campfire scene set during 'The Quill is Mightier'.
Notes: This is sort of a fluffy antidote to the other fic I posted.
The former Goddess huddled close to the fire, unused to feeling cold and not particularly liking it. She’d heard people talking of goosebumps, and they always sounded way more fun than they actually turned out to be. Why everybody associated a lover’s touch with this creeping flesh thing was beyond her. They needed better metaphors. She’d need to get her scribes onto it as soon as she was reinstated to her rightful station in life.
She sighed. No-one understood how hard this was for her. Not even Ares. He’d been mortal before so it wasn’t as big a shock to his system. And he didn’t have nearly as much hair as she did to look after.
“Hey.”
She looked up to see the annoying little blonde hovering by her. She rolled her eyes. If it wasn’t for that little twerp she wouldn’t be in this predicament. No, scratch that, if it wasn’t for Ares none of it would have happened. And if Ares didn’t have his weirdoid obsession with Ms Leather-Britches, he wouldn’t have tried to get Aphrodite to go after Gabrielle in the first place. So, it was pretty much all Xena’s fault.
Gabrielle didn’t seem at all put off by her hostile body-language or lack of response and she sat down beside her. Aphrodite inched closer to the fire, effectively turning her back on the esteemed writer. Who was apparently too stupid to come up with a single phrase that would give Aphrodite her powers back.
How about ‘Aphrodite gets her powers back’? Or ‘The bodacious babe with the killer rack is once again elevated to Godly status.’ That seemed straightforward enough to her. But nooooooooooo, it wasn’t literary enough. Aphrodite was positive the little witch hadn’t even really tried. She was waiting ‘til her girlfriend got back from fishing. Cuz making a decision on her own would be too much to ask.
“So, this must be tough on you, huh?”
Aphrodite barked out a laugh.
“Well, congratulations on the understatement of the year.”
Gabrielle continued, unperturbed.
“I mean, you don’t seem to be adapting very easily.”
She spun around to face Gabrielle. Had she still been in possession of her godly powers, Gabrielle would’ve been on the receiving end of something very unpleasant. And unsightly. And lots of other ‘un’ things. In the meantime, she’d just have to make do with a withering stare and a superior tone of voice.
“Adapting? Listen, sweet-pea, I have no intention of ‘adapting’ to anything. You will find a way to fix this and I will be back in my happy, fluffy, fragrant world. Far, far away from dirty, common little men who have the nerve not to fall at my feet and beg to suck my toes. I mean, don’t they know who I am?”
She looked at Gabrielle with wide, desperate eyes. Gabrielle shrugged.
“Well…no. They don’t know who you are.”
“But why not?” Aphrodite whined, “I’m still me! They’ve seen the statues and the paintings. Can’t they figure it out?”
Her brow creased up and her bottom lip started to protrude.
“Or do they only love me for my powers?”
Gabrielle put a hand on her arm, squeezing gently.
“Maybe they only know you for your powers?”
“So they only want me for what they can get from me?”
A real tear started to make its way down Aphrodite’s cheek. Leaving a clean trail through the layer of grime that had built up throughout the day.
“What do you want people to love you for?” Gabrielle asked gently.
Aphrodite shrugged.
“I don’t know. I guess, maybe I thought they liked me for my smokin’ bod and immaculate face.”
She turned to Gabrielle and grasped her hand.
“Am I not pretty enough?”
Gabrielle laughed, but not unkindly.
“Aphrodite, are you kidding? You’re beautiful.”
Aphrodite nodded in agreement.
“Well, I always thought so. But then you get these newcomers you have to compete with all the time. People rave about this Egyptian babe, Cleo-something. And there’s Helen of Troy, but the wrinkles are setting in on her so she’s not so much of a threat these days.”
Gabrielle nodded along, gamely.
“And then there’s these.”
Aphrodite cupped her breasts and pushed them together before letting go and watching them bounce. Gabrielle’s mouth dropped open.
“I mean, they’ve always kinda been my secret weapon, you know? But now they’re all saggy and droopy and I’ve only been mortal for a day. By next week they’ll be at my waist!”
Gabrielle’s mouth was still hanging open. She realised this and snapped it shut, quickly bringing her eyes back up to Aphrodite’s face.
“Aphrodite, I really don’t think you have anything to worry about in that department. At all.”
“You really think so?” Aphrodite asked, smiling slightly.
“They look grea…ah, I mean, your muscle tone and skin elasticity seem very good to me.”
Aphrodite looked down at her prized assets and smiled.
“I guess you’re right. The three naked Gabrielles seemed to like ‘em a whole lot too.”
Gabrielle choked and started coughing. Aphrodite slapped her on the back until she stopped spluttering. Aphrodite sat back and nodded.
“No, you’re right. I’m still gorgeous.”
She leaned in close to Gabrielle, dipping her head and looking up through her lashes. And ensuring that the bard had an excellent view down her dress.
“So, do you think…if I have to stay mortal for a while…that people will still worship and desire me?”
“I uh…”
She leaned in further, using her upper arms to push her breasts closer together, tilting her head to the side. Unconsciously, Gabrielle had started to lean in too, her eyes fixed on Aphrodite’s lips.
Their faces were only inches apart when Gabrielle sprang to her feet.
“Xena!”
Aphrodite looked around, frantically.
“Where?”
“No, I mean, I just thought of something that might bring Xena back so I should…go and…write it down…yeah, that’s what I have to do.”
And just like that, she was gone, disappeared into the woods. Aphrodite stared into the fire and smiled to herself.
“Oh yeah, I still got it.”
“Yeah, and if you want to keep it you might wanna think twice about coming on to Xena’s girlfriend when you are in a position where you could be hurt, maimed, killed or all of the above.”
She turned to face her brother with an eyebrow raised.
“You’re just jealous because there’s no way in Tartarus that you’d get that close.”
He threw his head back and guffawed.
“Are you serious? Her?”
“Yep. That chick wouldn’t let you get your lips within ten feet of her and you know it.”
“Wanna bet?”
She stood up and put her hands on her hips.
“Bring it on, Big Brother.”
“What’re you giving me?”
“You’re giving me that kick-ass temple you have out in Parnassus.”
“Never gonna happen, but OK. And you’re giving me a dozen of your finest Priestesses.”
“Done.”
He spat on his hand and held it out to her.
“Uh, ew.”
He rolled his eyes and rubbed his hand on his shirt. They shook. Ares turned and headed off in the direction Gabrielle had gone in. Aphrodite started counting in her head. Before she reached a quarter-candle-mark Ares hobbled out of the woods, cradling his family jewels. He huffed in her general direction before about turning and limping away. She grinned at his retreating back.
“And I want the walls of that temple painted pink!”