*waves* Um, hi?
I am four days into my much-longed-for spring break and for four days I have been lying on the couch, sick and surrounded by cats and boxes of Kleenex, goddammit. This is kind the story of my life right now. On the positive side, I think I'm on the mend. And I've spent the past few days watching Sister Wives (and toying with a possible thesis idea about religion and polyamory and how liberal mainstream denominations could support polyamorous families) as well as reading all of Gillian Flynn's oeuvre instead of doing all the readings and paper proposals I'm supposed to complete for next week. (Dear profs, spring break is not a time to load us up with tons of extra work, so bite me. Or better yet, let me throw my wadded-up Kleenex at you.)
Anyway. I guess posting every three months is the way my life is going at the moment, aka as the second of three years of grad school sucks giant monkey balls. I think I can officially say I fail at fandom right now. This school year has been a bit overwhelming--juggling my library job and a field ed placement (which has been exhaustingly difficult in some ways) and a full load of classes has not been the easiest. Twelve-hour days have been pretty regular again this semester, and I honestly have no idea what it's like not to be worn out all the time. Anyone who thinks that grad school is light and fluffy fun-times is crazy and/or not doing the readings. I worked less when I had a 40+hour a week job. :/ With less stress at times, which is really saying something for those of you who endured my bitching for years about my job.
I am honestly so physically and emotionally fucking tired. I didn't even really have a winter break either; RL circumstances meant that noeon (My absolute rock, seriously. She is so amazing and competent and awesome and the light of my life.) and I had to move apartments at the drop of a hat in January--and we're still unpacking boxes even now. I'm at the point where I'm just trying to hold on until May 16 when my last paper of the semester will be turned in and I can sleep for a few days straight.
Fandomwise, I still love HP. I still love Avengers. I just...I don't know. I'm so damn exhausted all the time, and I can't keep up with anything. And my soul aches a lot because of that. Let me tell you, my creative spirit is shriveled, gasping, and desperately thirsty. I'm just at a loss on how to engage it again--it feels like all my time this year has been consumed by academia in one way or another and I hate that. Every time I sit down and try to eke out a few words of fiction, I end up feeling so drained. How do I find that creative spark again? Sigh. This was supposed to be the year I gave myself to write. LOLZ. That's worked out so well. :/
Also, and this may make me sound like a bitter old woman shaking her cane at the youths on her yard, but JFC, y'all, I can't deal with fandom on Tumblr. At all. I tried it for a while. The pace is too exhausting for me, and I just feel too damned old there. I've been in fandom since the mid-90s (Christ) and while I realize fandom changes (migration from mailing lists to LJ, anyone?) I don't like the way Tumblr feels. And that makes me a little sad... *clutches fandom to my boobs and pathetically begs it to never grow up and leave me behind when it goes to Tumblr U.*
In cat news, Draco has turned out to be basically a puppy in a cat's body--he's the only cat I've ever had who trots in the room the minute you call him and who adores dog toys; I thought he was going to die of happiness the night we brought him home rawhide sticks to chew on--I keep finding them in his special hiding places. Pansy is an adorably needy little princess who is currently sprawled over my arms, trying to grab my hand between her paws and pull it up to her head so that I'll pet her because the universe at large obviously revolves around her. And Imogen? Well. Noe and I are starting to suspect that little minx has plans to conquer the world. I've never seen such a manipulatively cute cat--who also ignores absolutely any discipline at all because, well, Imogen Cat don't care. You scold her and she just blinks at you, throws a leg up to lick her bits, then rolls over and stalks off, tail swishing in the air. She's like Lady Loki in cat form. The other two can be shamed when they behave badly. Imogen we find dangling from the top of a window and then she acts as if we're at fault for catching her.
Obviously, we are.
Off to bed now, or at least to pretend to lie in bed trying to wheezily sleep while Pansy (who must be On Mommy At All Times Or Else) daintily drapes herself over my shoulder and pillow and tries to smother me by blocking my one working nostril with her tail. Fun times, y'all. Fun times.
------------------
This entry was originally posted at http://femmequixotic.dreamwidth.org/511512.html where there are currently
comments. You can comment here or there using OpenID.
Anyway. I guess posting every three months is the way my life is going at the moment, aka as the second of three years of grad school sucks giant monkey balls. I think I can officially say I fail at fandom right now. This school year has been a bit overwhelming--juggling my library job and a field ed placement (which has been exhaustingly difficult in some ways) and a full load of classes has not been the easiest. Twelve-hour days have been pretty regular again this semester, and I honestly have no idea what it's like not to be worn out all the time. Anyone who thinks that grad school is light and fluffy fun-times is crazy and/or not doing the readings. I worked less when I had a 40+hour a week job. :/ With less stress at times, which is really saying something for those of you who endured my bitching for years about my job.
I am honestly so physically and emotionally fucking tired. I didn't even really have a winter break either; RL circumstances meant that noeon (My absolute rock, seriously. She is so amazing and competent and awesome and the light of my life.) and I had to move apartments at the drop of a hat in January--and we're still unpacking boxes even now. I'm at the point where I'm just trying to hold on until May 16 when my last paper of the semester will be turned in and I can sleep for a few days straight.
Fandomwise, I still love HP. I still love Avengers. I just...I don't know. I'm so damn exhausted all the time, and I can't keep up with anything. And my soul aches a lot because of that. Let me tell you, my creative spirit is shriveled, gasping, and desperately thirsty. I'm just at a loss on how to engage it again--it feels like all my time this year has been consumed by academia in one way or another and I hate that. Every time I sit down and try to eke out a few words of fiction, I end up feeling so drained. How do I find that creative spark again? Sigh. This was supposed to be the year I gave myself to write. LOLZ. That's worked out so well. :/
Also, and this may make me sound like a bitter old woman shaking her cane at the youths on her yard, but JFC, y'all, I can't deal with fandom on Tumblr. At all. I tried it for a while. The pace is too exhausting for me, and I just feel too damned old there. I've been in fandom since the mid-90s (Christ) and while I realize fandom changes (migration from mailing lists to LJ, anyone?) I don't like the way Tumblr feels. And that makes me a little sad... *clutches fandom to my boobs and pathetically begs it to never grow up and leave me behind when it goes to Tumblr U.*
In cat news, Draco has turned out to be basically a puppy in a cat's body--he's the only cat I've ever had who trots in the room the minute you call him and who adores dog toys; I thought he was going to die of happiness the night we brought him home rawhide sticks to chew on--I keep finding them in his special hiding places. Pansy is an adorably needy little princess who is currently sprawled over my arms, trying to grab my hand between her paws and pull it up to her head so that I'll pet her because the universe at large obviously revolves around her. And Imogen? Well. Noe and I are starting to suspect that little minx has plans to conquer the world. I've never seen such a manipulatively cute cat--who also ignores absolutely any discipline at all because, well, Imogen Cat don't care. You scold her and she just blinks at you, throws a leg up to lick her bits, then rolls over and stalks off, tail swishing in the air. She's like Lady Loki in cat form. The other two can be shamed when they behave badly. Imogen we find dangling from the top of a window and then she acts as if we're at fault for catching her.
Obviously, we are.
Off to bed now, or at least to pretend to lie in bed trying to wheezily sleep while Pansy (who must be On Mommy At All Times Or Else) daintily drapes herself over my shoulder and pillow and tries to smother me by blocking my one working nostril with her tail. Fun times, y'all. Fun times.
------------------
This entry was originally posted at http://femmequixotic.dreamwidth.org/511512.html where there are currently
comments. You can comment here or there using OpenID.