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[femmequixotic]

So I called in sick to work today and emailed my professor to tell her I wouldn't make it into class tonight. I feel terribly guilty but God, I haven't been this sick in yonks and basically noeon's insisted I stay in bed today. Which I have done. With meds and kleenex. Meh. I feel horribly guilty for bailing on everything today, but I just feel like crap. And somehow I have to drag myself out of the house tomorrow for work because I need the money and missing half my hours in one week is not going to fly financially. Woe.

Anyway. I've been sleeping and half-heartedly poking around the Intrawebs today between bouts of sneezing, coughing and swearing--mainly at the cats who think it's brilliant that Mommy's home so they can all lie on me with their heated little furry bodies, goddammit. Oh, and Noe and I did an interview for hd_writers a little bit ago and it's up now here. So if anyone wants to read our thoughts on writing and how we collaborate together, there you go.

And in the handful of hours I have been awake, I did this domesticity meme that was floating around Tumblr last week--once for Harry/Draco and once for Tony/Loki. Warning for possibly feverish ramblings....

Harry/Draco

Who is the big spoon/little spoon? Harry loves to spoon. Loves it. It annoys Draco sometimes--well, okay, most of the time--because he gets too hot easily, and, really, Harry puts out an enormous amount of body heat, so when Harry drapes himself over Draco the way he likes to do almost every night, Draco always wakes up sweating. Still, he doesn't complain too much--which for Draco means he only brings it up once or twice a week--because secretly he likes that he's Harry's favorite teddy bear. But he will never admit it. Even though every time he bitches about it to Blaise and Pansy they just roll their eyes at him. And Greg tells him flat-out that he's full of shit because if he really hated it as much as he claims to, Potter would have ended up with a wand in his privates and a natsy itching spell for a week or two which would have put a stop right to it. Which always shuts Draco up because, well, it's true.

What is their favorite non-sexual activity? There are activities outside of sex? LOL. They both like to do their own things--Draco will go to the symphony alone sometimes (although he can twist Harry's arm into accompanying him when he wants) and Harry usually goes to Tottenham football matches with Dean. But Harry and Draco insist on having at least one date night a week, unless they both agree to put it off once or twice--never more than that, though; they have a deal. During Quidditch season, they tend to go to matches together; they've compromised on teams and both support Pudd United now, although Harry will sometimes go to Chudley Cannons matches with Ron and Draco will go with Blaise to see the Falmouth Falcons play.

Who uses all the hot water in the morning? Draco, obviously. He's not a morning person at all, and it takes him a good fifteen minutes of standing under a hot shower before he even begins to wake up enough to actually reach for the soap. And then, well, good grooming takes time, Potter. You just can't run a flannel over your prick and under your arms and say you're clean enough.

Harry: Oi! I wash more than that!

Draco: *haughty sniff* If you say so.

Harry: *grumbles* If you wouldn't take all the damn hot water in the morning I could do more than just jump into a freezing cold shower and jump out again.

Draco: I don't know why you insist on forgetting you're a wizard who can use warming charms, you dimwitted berk.

Harry: *thoughtfully* Oh. Yeah. You have a point.

Draco: *facepalms*

What do they order from take out? There's a tiny Greek place down the street from their flat that they like. Harry prefers the moussaka because he loves aubergine. Draco likes the pork souvlaki with extra tzatziki and lots of onions--oh, and extra pita, please. They'll usually share an order of spanakopita, and Harry insists on baklava for dessert, which Draco claims is too sweet for him, but Harry always gets a double order or else Draco will eat half of his, the bastard.

What is the most trivial thing they fight over? The books Draco leaves everywhere. He has a pile next to the bed, one next to his chair in the sitting room, some in the bath, some in the kitchen, and Harry's even been known to trip over one on the stairs where Draco's left it after sitting on the landing, petting the kneazle. It drives Harry mental, but Draco doesn't see what the issue is. He likes to have his books handy for when the mood strikes, and really, the bookshelves are already entirely filled and if Harry complains one more time about expanding the wizarding space in the flat so that Draco can fit in another bookcase, Draco will hex Harry's cock off--and no, Draco doesn't give a damn, he can use his hand just as well, Potter.

Who does most of the cleaning? Not Draco. Harry was surprised when he discovered Draco's a bit of a slob for someone with such enormous control issues. But Draco was raised with house elves to pick up after him, so he doesn't think about cleaning, even though he insists upon having a tidy flat. Harry's finally given in and they've hired an elf to come in twice a week--which Draco's horrified by, because, really, why can't the elf be there everyday, but Harry put his foot down on that. So the elf cleans every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and Harry ends up doing the dishes and picking up Draco's wet towels in the bath on the other days.

What has a season pass in their DVR? Draco most definitely does not watch telly. Ever. Except when Harry has it on. And maybe he's a little fond of that QI show. But only because Stephen Fry is intelligent enough for a Muggle. And all right, Doctor Who is amusing, even if Draco loathed River Song, and Sherlock reminds him of a young Severus from his childhood. But he absolutely does not watch Harry's ridiculous football matches and it annoys him when Harry's perched on the edge of the sofa, beer in hand, chanting Come on you, Spurs and swearing at someone named Van der Vaart. Whom Draco does not find attractive. At all. *sideways look* Really.

Who leaves their stuff around? Draco. Obviously. Although he hates that Harry brings home his work quite frequently and spreads it across the kitchen table in piles of multicoloured parchment. But mainly he hates that because it means Harry's not paying attention to him.

Who remembers to buy the milk? Draco, actually. He refuses to let Harry do the shopping because he'll come back with nothing but beer and crisps. So as much as Draco hates it, he walks down to the market every few days and stocks up on actual real food. Although he will on occasion buy Harry beer and crisps. If he's been good. Which Harry always makes certain he is the night before shopping day.

Who remembers anniversaries? Both of them. There are certain dates seared into their memories. The battle of Hogwarts, for one, where they both lost so many people they loved. Neither of them forget that one. The night they first kissed up against a wall in the DMLE, both of them working late. The day after when they first fucked. Their first actual date--which took another month. The day they moved in together. Their first real fight as a couple--over Harry's friends snubbing Draco--which ended with Draco exploding a glass clock on the chimneypiece and Harry fucking him on the floor of the sitting room, leaving rug burns on Draco's are. The death of Harry's parents. The death of Draco's father. They remember them all.

Tony/Loki

Who is the big spoon/little spoon? Loki's the big spoon, surprisingly enough. For someone so prickly and wary of others when he's awake, when sleeping, his guard drops and he likes to snuggle up against Tony's back, curling his long body around Tony's smaller one and resting his palm against the warmth of Tony's arc reactor. Sometimes when Loki relaxes a little too much while he's sleeping and his Aesir form fades slightly, Tony wakes up chilled from the temperature drop on Loki's bluing skin, but Tony doesn't mind. He just drags the heavier comforter up from where it's folded at the bottom of the bed and settles it around both of them before he falls back asleep. He prefers to sleep in a cooler room anyway.

What is their favorite non-sexual activity? Sitting together in the living room at night, the city lights spread out in front of them, each of them lost in a book, Loki's bare feet in Tony's lap as Tony distractedly rubs them. There's Coltrane or Monk or Fitzgerald playing softly over the sound system, two half-empty glasses of wine on the coffee table, and it's just them. No one else. They don't have to perform for anyone; they can let their masks slip off and just be themselves with each other. It's peaceful, it's quiet, and when Loki finally uncurls himself and stands up, holding out a hand to Tony, Tony takes it with a small smile and lets Loki lead him into their bedroom as JARVIS clicks off the lights behind them.

Who uses all the hot water in the morning? Usually Tony. Loki prefers more tepid showers, but Tony likes them hot and steamy and long. When Loki comes into the bathroom after Tony's finally gotten out, he almost always finds completely filthy limericks involving his cock and/or Tony's ass scrawled across the steamed-up mirror, which makes him roll his eyes and smile at the same time. He's never been with anyone who wants him as much as Tony does, and that sometimes frightens him as much as it makes him marvel at Tony's obvious insanity.

What do they order from take out? Tony likes schwarma, of course, or pizza, but Loki prefers Thai--the spicier the better. His favorites are pad ga pow and yum nuer, and Tony always has to tell the restaurant to make them spicier than most human beings could possibly ingest because evidently Loki has a cast-iron stomach. And they double-order each entree because the amount Loki can eat is staggering. Tony even orders a second red curry with beef because Loki will pick off of his plate and it drives Tony crazy. The look on Loki's face, though, as he eats chilled lychees for desert turns Tony on like you wouldn't believe, and they usually end up naked on the kitchen floor, which is fine if they're up in Tony's apartment. Not so much if they're downstairs on the common floor and Clint walks in to get a snack. This has happened more times than Clint wants to admit; he put a request in to Fury to let his mind be wiped, but Fury told him it's his own goddamned fault for not expecting Stark and that Asgardian bastard to have their motherfucking hands down each others' pants at all time. Clint has to admit Fury has a point.

What is the most trivial thing they fight over? The Yankees versus the Mets. Loki's fascinated with baseball--and Tony fucking blames Steve for that, the motherfucker--and Loki has, for some inexplicable reason, taken on Steve's support of the fucking Yankees when, fuck the Yankees, the Mets are Tony's team and he fucking thinks his boyfriend should follow his loyalties. Besides Steve only likes the Yankees because his beloved Dodgers moved to L.A. in '57 and Tony's pretty damn sure Steve hasn't forgiven them for that, even though, really, he just found out about it because, you know, Capsicle. So yeah. Bastards, both of them, and who gives a fuck about the Yankees and their stupid twenty-seven World Series wins anyway? Tony likes the underdogs.

Who does most of the cleaning? Loki, with the help of Dummy and You, both of whom he's spelled to become some sort of magical Roombas. Tony hasn't figured this out yet, although he does sometimes wonder where one or the other of the robots has wandered off to when he needs them in the lab. Loki's secretly grown fond of the two, and almost treats them like his own children, a fact which JARVIS approves of, so he helps to keep Tony in the dark.

What has a season pass in their DVR? Loki's addicted to Mythbusters, thanks to Bruce. Which Tony supposes isn't bad, given what Clint could have gotten Loki into. Like Teen Mom. Or Toddlers and Tiaras, which Loki watched one episode of and then had to be talked down from slaughtering one of the mothers whom he found reprehensible. After that the team made a unanimous decision to keep him from watching TV alone with Clint ever again, which Tony actually thinks relieved Clint. Tony, on the other hand, has an iTunes season pass for Community and Grimm--shut up, he's dating a god so really, what the hell's wrong with enjoying some fucked-up fairy tales--and he keeps an eye on Hulu for the new Warehouse 13 season because, let's face it, Claudia's hot.

Who leaves their stuff around? Tony. All the damn time. Loki's nearly sat on a soldering iron more than once, and he's constantly finding bits and pieces of circuit boards and clipped wires scattered across the apartment. And Tony has a horrible habit of emptying out his pockets on the counter of the bar which means his keys and wallet and various crumpled napkins filled with inked notes are always lying around. Loki's tried to get him to use a drawer, or at least a basket of some sort, but Tony forgets, which sets Loki's OCD on edge and usually ends up in an enormous fight that can be heard at least two floors down. Natasha, who lives just beneath them, puts on headphones and turns her iPod up as high as it will go. That usually drowns them out. She's just waiting for the time when one of them goes falling past her window. She and Clint have bets on it being Loki this time, much to Thor's dismay.

Who remembers to buy the milk? JARVIS. He puts in an order to Fresh Direct every few days and groceries are delivered for the entire building. It used to be a once-a-week order, but with both Thor and Loki living in Avengers Tower now, the grocery bill's skyrocketed. Not to mention how many bags of chips Clint and Steve can go through. Or Natasha's Coke Zero habit. Honestly, Tony sometimes wonders how any of them manage to stay in shape with the amount of crap they eat, and that's coming from him of all people. Bruce just looks disapprovingly at all of them as he wanders through the kitchen to put together some kind of vegan casserole.

Who remembers anniversaries? Loki. Always. Tony tries to remember them, and Pepper keeps them in his calendar so they're there if he remembers to check it, but he gets distracted. It annoys Loki sometimes, but mostly he just accepts it because as Pepper points out, Tony is Tony, and this is one thing he won't ever change on. And besides, when Tony forgets, he contritely attempts to make up for his idiocy, either with an incredibly expensive present or an incredibly pleasurable sexual favor. Loki's not sure which he prefers more.

There you go. That was fun. Now I have to go lay under three blankets and try to stop shivering....ugh.

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