Cain and Angel
Cain and Angel.
By Beth Fox.
The chance to join Battlestar Pegasus was one that Rowan Nimo took willingly. She was not known to much of the crew and after the incident with Gina Inverre people doubted that she was a good idea. She was headstrong though, and bright. She wasn’t going to let go of her chance to meet Admiral Cain. Admiral Helena Cain had been a near-miss for the cylons and when Rowan had heard what had happened she had insisted on meeting with her. People didn’t understand why until they ran her through the system. She came up as an ‘Angel’ which was a sign that she was a part of a small group of bodyguards. She was glad to be allowed a pass and made her way directly through the passageways until she had found Cain’s living area. She had knocked softly on the bunk door, not wanting to push Cain to answer if she didn’t feel like it.
She knew Cain had to be feeling somewhat fragile and she didn’t want to hurt her right off. She was not surprised to be welcomed by the ‘razor’ of the team but she knew she would have to find a way to get Cain to open up to her. There was no doubt in her mind that Cain was suffering. This was definitely Cain. She knew there was a definate difference between Cain and Helena. Almost two different personalities. She had no doubt that what Cain had suffered was bad enough that the Cain personality was dominant. She knew if she could get Helena to relax then she would be able to see the more secretive part of her. The part that people often referred to as Helena. She knew Helena had to be pretty timid and scared if she was willing to be known as a heartless woman instead of woman who needed to be in control. She could understand why she felt like that but she hated that she felt the need to hide when she was probably far more gorgeous as herself. Of course she knew she could never push that as a truth but she did push her way into Helena’s bunk, waiting for her to close and lock the door.
She waited for Helena to come close before she spoke, realising she had to treat her gently. She had spoken cautiously, sensing that if she said the wrong thing then Helena would cry or be hurting and she didn’t want that. She also didn’t want Helena to get angry with her. Rowan knew she needed to protect her. She was smiling as Helena watched her, knowing her attention on Helena was likely to put her at ease.
“So… how have you been doing?”
“It’s hard.”
“I know.”
“I loved her.”
As Helena spoke her voice cracked and Rowan felt her heart go out to the woman. She knew that Helena rarely opened up and it had to be hard for her. She had remained silent however, gently coaxing her to go on. When Helena remained silent she took a step forward, moving to gently touch her shoulder, sensing that Helena was still too fragile for much else. Her voice was gentle all the same.
“You’ll be okay Helena.”
She knew Helena knew that but she prayed that Helena would feel safer by her side and with her around. Hopefully safe enough to relax. She wanted Helena to feel relaxed enough that she would sleep. From what she had heard Helena hadn’t been able to sleep lately. She didn’t know what it was that was troubling Helena but she got the feeling that she would find out soon. The woman was openly shaking and she couldn’t help but hold tightly to her, wanting her to know she was safe and knowing she would feel weak if she was allowed to fall. Helena for once hadn’t tried to shrug her off and she smiled gently.
“You’re okay.”
Helena’s shivers had died off slowly. She seemed to trust Rowan instinctively and Rowan knew she had to be careful not to abuse that trust. She didn’t like that she was hurting her and she knew she had to be careful not to push too much.
“I know it hurts.”
She hated that someone had abused Helena’s fragile trust but she knew it was important they bonded before she was introduced to the rest of the crew officially. She would always be at Helena’s side and she hoped that Helena would feel safer with her there. She’d lost her best people as they fought to stop Gina from killing her and she knew that the trust Helena had in her was delicate. She wasn’t going to abuse Helena’s trust but she knew she had to be careful that she didn’t get too close to Helena. Having Helena fall in love with her was a risk she knew she had to take, whether she liked it or not. She didn’t want to hurt her but she knew she had to be careful how close she got to Helena and how close Helena got to her. She was relieved when she felt Helena’s shaking subside and spoke gently.
“So, how about we get to know each other better?”
The suggestion was gentle as she drew Helena to the woman’s bed, settling them both side by side as she listened to Helena talk about who she was, what her past was and how it had changed her. She learnt of Helena’s hopes, her dreams and her fears. She didn’t want to press and so she let Helena talk until she was ready to stop. Helena had finally stopped talking, she was crying now, softly and eventually she was quiet, nestled into Rowan’s gentle hold. She had cried herself out and Rowan knew she felt a peace now, she had shared everything she’d been holding inside and she knew Rowan understood.
Rowan had shared her past slowly, sharing her history, her past and her present. She spoke about her family, who she had left behind and she told Helena all her hopes, her dreams, her fears. She knew the only way they could possibly get to know one another was to have an equal relationship. She was glad that Helena trusted her and she knew that Helena would be less afraid of her now. They would be able to work together to keep Helena safe from harm and both of them would be able to relax once she was safe. She knew that she could save her and she knew that she could keep Helena safe, she could only hope that Helena would trust her enough to know that she couldn’t be hurt when she was around. She would make sure that Helena was happy and she would make sure that her crewmen and women understood that she was the one person they must keep safe.
How the hell was she going to do that? She didn’t know at the moment. She’d figure it out eventually. For now she was content to work on convincing Helena to sleep. She knew the woman was terrified she’d have a nightmare but if she did she’d at least wake to Rowan. Rowan who had sworn to protect her, Rowan who cared about her, Rowan who was brave and strong and kind. She wasn’t going to suffer for long if she did have a nightmare. She could only hope that Helena would allow her to convince her to sleep. She didn’t like how much she was hurting and she knew she was going to have to work hard to get Helena relaxed. She had suggested that she would have to sleep sometime and that she should rest now so that Rowan was nearby if she did suffer her usual nightmare. Any nightmares that did occur would be chased away soon enough as she knew she would never let Helena be troubled for too long. Helena had fought her for a long time before considering her answer. She had given in only when Rowan insisted Helena slept so that she could see how it went. Rowan’s gentle insistence had made it hard for Helena to refuse her request. She had settled slowly, Helena had relaxed as she sensed Rowan hovering closer, she felt entirely safe with Rowan where she was and she knew that without her there she would have never dared sleep. Rowan had watched her carefully as Helena finally slept. Helena had soon started to tremble. Rowan had moved closer, feeling for Helena’s pulse and realising it had risen drastically. She hated that Helena was suffering and she knew if she was to wait a few more seconds she would wake with a cry. Soon enough Helena had cried out as she woke, trembling painfully as she burrowed herself deeper into Rowan’s arms. Rowan had sighed softly, content to hold the trembling Admiral close and stroke her hair, speaking softly.
“Shhh now.”
Helena hadn’t moved at all, nuzzling into her a little more.
“It’s okay Helena, I’ve got you now."
Helena shivered slightly, enough that Rowan instantly drew her closer, completely forgetting the rules and working on pure instinct. Rowan had smiled slightly as Helena yawned.
“Sleep Helena, I’ve got you now, you’re safe.”
Helena’s shivering had died down slowly and Rowan smiled as she slept. She was so delicate and Rowan couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for her. She had to have been suffering these nightmares for a long time. She could sense that Helena had relaxed as she held her and she was glad that Helena felt safe with her. The sound of Helena’s soft murmurs was something that Rowan found entirely too endearing. She knew she shouldn’t risk falling in love with the woman she had been sent to keep safe but she had a feeling it was far too late to even try to stop. She had already fallen for her. Helena was so much more delicate than anyone she had ever guarded before and she knew that, although she had to answer to President Laura Roslin, she would be forgiven for falling for her. She got the feeling that Helena and Laura had had a little interaction in the past. Still, she could understand why. Helena was beautiful, intelligent and sweet, not to mention damaged and gentle in her own wonderful way. She knew that she was possibly only the third person to see that side of Helena besides her family. Still, she knew that she and Helena were to be close for a long time and she got the feeling that they could let their attraction grow on it’s own without much pushing. As it was they were getting on already. Helena’s gentle murmuring died out slowly and Rowan knew she had finally enabled Helena to entirely rest, not even hiding in her dreams. Helena had suddenly shivered and before she could cry she had nuzzled further closer to Rowan who instinctively cradled her tighter, stroking her hair gently. She smiled as Helena’s shivers died off. She was glad she could look after this beautiful and fragile woman. Seeing Helena rest was something she knew few people got to see and she was glad she was one of the lucky ones, she hoped that when Helena felt safe enough to commit to a relationship she would be able to chase away the rest of Helena’s fears. Helena was less terrified now and Rowan smiled as she realised that perfecting her hold on Helena had been the thing that chased away all of Helena’s fears. She was glad that Helena would like her this much. She knew that seeing Helena smile was going to likely become the second most important thing to her. The first would always be to keep Helena safe. Helena’s soft murmurs returned and Rowan sensed that Helena would wake soon. She was unafraid of what was likely to happen but she hoped that Helena wouldn’t panic as much as she felt that she could.
She had been hesitant but smiled when Helena woke calmly.
“Good morning sleepyhead.”
“Morning.”
Helena had mewed softly, sleepily as she wiped her eyes. She was half-asleep and clearly exhausted. She was still in desperate need of sleep and it was clear she was not going to give in easily.
“Go back to sleep Helena, you’ll be fine. I’ll have someone step in for the day.”
“I can’t.”
“You have to.”
“I can’t.”
“Helena, you have to sleep.”
Helena had given in only when Rowan added a softer few words.
“Please, you must sleep.”
“Rowan.”
“Helena, you will die if you don’t rest… you’re already ill.”
“Rowan…”
“Helena, I will pull rank if I have to.”
Helena had sighed and allowed Rowan to tuck her in, resting herself into Rowan a little more. She didn’t want Rowan to leave and she was fairly sure that if Rowan did she would cry miserably and probably suffer even worse dreams and nightmares. Rowan had cradled her gently and spoken quickly as she gave orders for Helena’s second in command to step up, radioing in so that she could report her placement to Laura, allowing Helena a few moments to thank Laura before she rang off, content when Helena rested her forehead into her neck. Rowan could tell the woman felt safer than usual and although Helena was still tentative she had smiled as she let herself drift back to sleep. She was shivering and seemed to be having a little trouble relaxing into it this time. Rowan had moved on instinct to cradle her closer and softly murmuring tender words of love for Helena. She knew that Helena had no idea how much she already meant to Rowan. Rowan had a feeling that Helena was unused to having anyone love her. She couldn’t fall in love with her yet and Rowan knew that Helena would need a lot of time for consideration, she also knew that the words would ease any worries Helena had for the time being. Helena had smiled softly as she slept, seemingly less panicked than ever before. Helena’s soft murmurs had been gone quickly this time and she knew that Helena would sleep perfectly well this time. She had no doubt that Helena would feel less tense as she was likely to feel happy when she was loved. She knew that although Helena wasn’t ready for physical love she would appreciate the tenderness she was being given. Rowan knew there was no way she could hide her love for Helena. She decided it was likely best that she didn’t even try. Her smile was gentle as she lowered Helena to rest on the bed, moving to tidy the room before she glanced over at Helena. Helena was shivering and she moved to gently stroke Helena’s hair off her face.
“I’m still here darling, you’re okay.”
Helena’s shivers had died out again and she smiled softly.
“Good girl.”
She continued to talk softly as she continued to tidy, smiling when she glanced back to see that Helena was still sleeping soundly. She was glad that Helena only needed her voice as it meant that later on she could work on writing up some reports whilst Helena slept. She knew that Helena being relaxed was the most important thing. Her smile was soft as she finished tidying up and slipped closer to Helena again. Helena had shifted slightly to nestle back against her and Rowan couldn’t help but smile softly, she was so gentle. Helena’s shivers had started up again and Rowan smiled softly, pulling her closer and tightening her grip on the woman.
“Shhhh Helena.”
Helena had sighed in her sleep and finally relaxed again, her whimper softly accented with pain. Rowan had instantly loosened her grip on Helena, allowing herself to relax slightly as Helena slept on. She knew that Helena would feel happier when she was sleeping with her present but all the same she couldn’t help but smile as Helena’s shivers were defeated yet again. Her smile was gentle when Helena slept peacefully. She loved how happy Helena was at the moment and she was growing determined to protect her. Well, to protect and love her. She knew that Helena and she could settle together easily and she had a feeling that when Helena was ready they could move on together. Seeing Helena rest was the most important thing for now but she knew after a couple of weeks had passed they would most likely be friends if not more. The chance to make Helena happy was one she would always take and she knew that she could look after Helena in ways most others couldn’t. Of course if their relationship grew then she would have to leave her current job. She knew there was a record for people leaving the job after 2 jobs and she had at least managed to rack up a full 10 but she still knew she’d feel a little guilty if she left. Of course if it meant she got to spend the rest of her life with Helena she knew she could deal with that. Of course she’d have to deal with the fallout. She couldn’t help but wonder what would happen when she decided to resign. She didn’t much mind though. She knew that whatever had happened she could look out for Helena and really that was all the mattered. Of course, she knew she’d always feel just the slightest bit guilty about what she was choosing to do. She didn’t mind though as she knew that Helena needed her more than most. Most considered having an Angel as a way to show people they were important. Helena actually needed an Angel to look out for her. Helena knew that she was safe, that much was clear as she hadn’t woken again. She also seemed to be fighting off the illness that had settled in that week.
She had smiled when Helena woke up. Helena seemed a lot more relaxed now and she seemed less afraid of physical contact. Rowan had hesitated before she kissed Helena softly, sensing that Helena needed a little physical contact to prove that Helena meant the world to Rowan. Rowan wasn’t at all afraid. She knew that if she was gentle and took her time with Helena then they could confirm their love for one another. She was gentle as she moved to remove Helena’s dress shirt and the vest underneath, her lips brushing Helena’s shoulder as she moved to unbutton Helena’s pants, the girl-boxers underneath joining them on the floor straight away. She didn’t rush herself and took her time to kiss her way inwards from Helena’s shoulders and down over her body and down to her chest. She paused there to make the woman squirm as she took her time to pleasure her, smiling when Helena’s chest reacted. She knew that as she made her way down over Helena’s stomach she was teasing the woman a little, testing her resolve. She was glad when Helena kissed her shoulder as she made her way to Helena’s thighs. She had kissed her way up from Helena’s feet to her inner thigh before working to pleasure Helena. She knew from the reactions that she was getting that Helena was getting more and more excited. She loved when Helena mewed the way she was as she sensed that it meant that Helena was getting closer and closer to her release. She had smiled as Helena began to get closer and closer to climax, she knew that Helena was likely to relax once she had a release. She had hoped so anyway. She knew that Helena was close and purred softly as she felt the woman tense. Once Helena hit her release she couldn’t help but smile, watching as Helena slid to sleep.
She was glad when Helena sighed in her sleep, moving to clean them both off before moving to cradle Helena closer again. She was smiling as she realised that Helena sleeping was a good choice for her as she needed to get her bedroom sorted. She also knew that the longer that Helena slept, the sooner she would get better. Helena’s fever had died out but she was still shivering occasionally which worried her still. She knew that attending to Helena was her job but she made a point to call in to Laura to ask her to send someone to be her second in command as she had a feeling that she needed to watch what was happening with the rest of the crew. The woman had appeared a day later and Helena had insisted on accompanying Rowan whilst she arranged for the girl to work with Helena’s second in command. That had taken them all of ten minutes. She was glad when Helena allowed her to shepard her back to bed. The woman was soon going to sleep again and although Rowan had no idea how she could deal with the troubles Helena had she knew that she would feel better once Helena had relaxed and fended off her nightmares and illness. Rowan knew that when she let Helena relax she would be glad that she had let her relax. Of course, she dreaded the day that she had to quit. She had pre-warned Laura that she would be leaving the group so that Helena would always be safe. Laura had offered to keep the job open and Rowan had agreed as she knew that if she needed the money she would go back until she was sure she had enough to live on. She also knew that she would do her best to keep Helena happy. She was glad to leave Helena to sleep as she knew that by now Helena’s nightmares had eased. She checked in quickly with Laura to update her on what was happening. She knew that as time went on both she and Helena would need to keep Laura updated but she liked that it was pretty much her domain so far. The more that time passed, the happier she felt. She knew that Laura was happy that she and Helena were getting on so well. Of course, she doubted Laura would be as happy when she left the group. She knew that she would have to find a way to keep in touch with her as the president meant the world to her as a good friend. She wasn’t sure how she would manage it but she would find a way. She knew that Helena wouldn’t deny her that small bit of pleasure as long as she stayed by Helena’s side. Helena had become a lot less tense recently and Rowan was glad she was learning to relax. Of course, in public Helena was very much the same as she had always been but now in private she was a lot less brisk and a lot more relaxed about allowing herself to rest and have some time away from the job. The job was less demanding now as Helena had seen how well her second in command did and now felt safe to leave her in charge now and again whilst she had a little downtime to rest and talk to Rowan. Rowan now worked the same hours as Helena and the two had begun to settle into a routine. Seeing Rowan and Helena together had done wonders for crew morale and Helena had actually loosened up on the no relationship rules once Rowan pointed out the fact that technically Helena herself was breaking that rule. Helena, despite being just as tough as normal was now getting better at rewarding people when they did things well. She knew now that she needed to reward people who did good work as they often tended to slacken their work if they didn’t get at least a little recognition. She was also beginning to smile more often.
Seeing Helena smile was one of the many upsides of Rowan’s new job that she’d taken on. Rowan hadn’t expected the change to be so sudden but she had found that she loved the changes she’d made. Her smile often came soon after she’d seen Helena smile. She hadn’t realised that she’d fallen in love until she heard someone remark on how similar she and Helena were becoming. She didn’t think it was a bad thing but she hadn’t seen it coming at all. Things had definitely settled down and Rowan knew part of it was due to Helena feeling safe. Helena no longer needed Rowan by her side to rest, she only needed to know that she was loved and that Rowan would be there when she was most needed. She was a lot less shy about asking for help and Rowan was pleased to see the way her friends and the crew in general reacted. Laura had been happy to offer Helena help and Helena seemed happy enough to accept it. The two, who had been a little stuck when they had differences of opinion also seemed to now be able to sort the problem out without resorting to dirty tactics. Arguments had stopped breaking out quite so often and recently Helena seemed to have a grip on her temper. If she did explode she would often calm herself and apologise. Everyone knew that she would sometimes loose her cool, she was only human, and they knew that when she apologized she meant it. People had begun to accept that she had her good points and she was starting to warm up to a few select people. Sometimes she would have to ask people to leave her be as she wasn’t quite ready to handle quite so much work at the same time but she would actually ask them politely instead of her old trick of screaming at them to get out. She had learnt a lot from spending time with Rowan and Rowan in return had learnt a lot from spending time with Helena. The two had become similar but neither minded that they were so alike as they found that they were still pretty much the Yin to the others Yang. They were a lot less panicky then they had been and the ship had fallen into order. People no longer seemed to be above giving sensitive orders and giving people a little slack when they needed it. People often needed less slack as they had the support they needed to learn what their job was and pick it up a lot easier. They also had a stronger support network for those who needed it. It also showed that they had time to have friendships outside work and each person now had a fairer amount of downtime to relax. People had bonded tightly with each other and when someone needed to take a break the others now helped to share the weight of it all out. Helena and her command staff were now part of the same sort of unit that was helping people all over the ship to get on with their jobs better. People had learnt fast that to create problems just came back to bite them in the backside. The times that they didn’t get the hint they were given a short stint in the brig although they generally came back a lot more willing to co-operate. Those that didn’t manage that were referred to a meeting of the wronged parties and the president. Which generally ended in a referral and move to another ship in the group. By the time that they were nearing earth most of the people in the group had settled in and those who had had to be removed were only around 2 percent of the people who had been on board in the first place. Helena and Rowan had managed to control most of what happened and what they hadn’t controlled had been sorted out within minutes. When they did have control things tended to go a lot better then when they didn’t. Those times that they didn’t have control were rare and when they did it was incredibly clear that they were fully in control. They liked being in control as they knew that the people of the ship genuinely liked and supported them so when they didn’t have control it was a little more of a problem. She wasn’t at all surprised when Helena asked her if she’d like to be second in command and Rowan had agreed to it instantly. They were mostly known by the name pairing of Cain and Angel despite Rowan’s last name being completely different. They were very fond of her and she seemed to have gained a lot of popularity in her own right as well as in her job as Helena’s second in command and lover. Soon enough the two were planning to be married, officially. Unofficially they had been married since the moment they fell in love. Of course, officially they needed to be married so that the ship records were always up to date and so that they would always be afforded the rights of a woman’s husband. Of course they were technically wife and wife but nobody much bothered to make a joke out of it. They knew that Helena and Rowan were very much in love and most people agreed that they were pretty close to being perfect for each other. Those who didn’t think so weren’t too worried all the same as they knew that Helena and Rowan would always be close. No matter what happened now it seemed they would be together forever. Rowan had always sworn to Helena that she would always be by her side and Helena knew that Rowan had always meant it. Rowan and Helena had soon been married officially by Laura, a fact all three were proud of. It had been hard for them both.
The end.
By Beth Fox.
The chance to join Battlestar Pegasus was one that Rowan Nimo took willingly. She was not known to much of the crew and after the incident with Gina Inverre people doubted that she was a good idea. She was headstrong though, and bright. She wasn’t going to let go of her chance to meet Admiral Cain. Admiral Helena Cain had been a near-miss for the cylons and when Rowan had heard what had happened she had insisted on meeting with her. People didn’t understand why until they ran her through the system. She came up as an ‘Angel’ which was a sign that she was a part of a small group of bodyguards. She was glad to be allowed a pass and made her way directly through the passageways until she had found Cain’s living area. She had knocked softly on the bunk door, not wanting to push Cain to answer if she didn’t feel like it.
She knew Cain had to be feeling somewhat fragile and she didn’t want to hurt her right off. She was not surprised to be welcomed by the ‘razor’ of the team but she knew she would have to find a way to get Cain to open up to her. There was no doubt in her mind that Cain was suffering. This was definitely Cain. She knew there was a definate difference between Cain and Helena. Almost two different personalities. She had no doubt that what Cain had suffered was bad enough that the Cain personality was dominant. She knew if she could get Helena to relax then she would be able to see the more secretive part of her. The part that people often referred to as Helena. She knew Helena had to be pretty timid and scared if she was willing to be known as a heartless woman instead of woman who needed to be in control. She could understand why she felt like that but she hated that she felt the need to hide when she was probably far more gorgeous as herself. Of course she knew she could never push that as a truth but she did push her way into Helena’s bunk, waiting for her to close and lock the door.
She waited for Helena to come close before she spoke, realising she had to treat her gently. She had spoken cautiously, sensing that if she said the wrong thing then Helena would cry or be hurting and she didn’t want that. She also didn’t want Helena to get angry with her. Rowan knew she needed to protect her. She was smiling as Helena watched her, knowing her attention on Helena was likely to put her at ease.
“So… how have you been doing?”
“It’s hard.”
“I know.”
“I loved her.”
As Helena spoke her voice cracked and Rowan felt her heart go out to the woman. She knew that Helena rarely opened up and it had to be hard for her. She had remained silent however, gently coaxing her to go on. When Helena remained silent she took a step forward, moving to gently touch her shoulder, sensing that Helena was still too fragile for much else. Her voice was gentle all the same.
“You’ll be okay Helena.”
She knew Helena knew that but she prayed that Helena would feel safer by her side and with her around. Hopefully safe enough to relax. She wanted Helena to feel relaxed enough that she would sleep. From what she had heard Helena hadn’t been able to sleep lately. She didn’t know what it was that was troubling Helena but she got the feeling that she would find out soon. The woman was openly shaking and she couldn’t help but hold tightly to her, wanting her to know she was safe and knowing she would feel weak if she was allowed to fall. Helena for once hadn’t tried to shrug her off and she smiled gently.
“You’re okay.”
Helena’s shivers had died off slowly. She seemed to trust Rowan instinctively and Rowan knew she had to be careful not to abuse that trust. She didn’t like that she was hurting her and she knew she had to be careful not to push too much.
“I know it hurts.”
She hated that someone had abused Helena’s fragile trust but she knew it was important they bonded before she was introduced to the rest of the crew officially. She would always be at Helena’s side and she hoped that Helena would feel safer with her there. She’d lost her best people as they fought to stop Gina from killing her and she knew that the trust Helena had in her was delicate. She wasn’t going to abuse Helena’s trust but she knew she had to be careful that she didn’t get too close to Helena. Having Helena fall in love with her was a risk she knew she had to take, whether she liked it or not. She didn’t want to hurt her but she knew she had to be careful how close she got to Helena and how close Helena got to her. She was relieved when she felt Helena’s shaking subside and spoke gently.
“So, how about we get to know each other better?”
The suggestion was gentle as she drew Helena to the woman’s bed, settling them both side by side as she listened to Helena talk about who she was, what her past was and how it had changed her. She learnt of Helena’s hopes, her dreams and her fears. She didn’t want to press and so she let Helena talk until she was ready to stop. Helena had finally stopped talking, she was crying now, softly and eventually she was quiet, nestled into Rowan’s gentle hold. She had cried herself out and Rowan knew she felt a peace now, she had shared everything she’d been holding inside and she knew Rowan understood.
Rowan had shared her past slowly, sharing her history, her past and her present. She spoke about her family, who she had left behind and she told Helena all her hopes, her dreams, her fears. She knew the only way they could possibly get to know one another was to have an equal relationship. She was glad that Helena trusted her and she knew that Helena would be less afraid of her now. They would be able to work together to keep Helena safe from harm and both of them would be able to relax once she was safe. She knew that she could save her and she knew that she could keep Helena safe, she could only hope that Helena would trust her enough to know that she couldn’t be hurt when she was around. She would make sure that Helena was happy and she would make sure that her crewmen and women understood that she was the one person they must keep safe.
How the hell was she going to do that? She didn’t know at the moment. She’d figure it out eventually. For now she was content to work on convincing Helena to sleep. She knew the woman was terrified she’d have a nightmare but if she did she’d at least wake to Rowan. Rowan who had sworn to protect her, Rowan who cared about her, Rowan who was brave and strong and kind. She wasn’t going to suffer for long if she did have a nightmare. She could only hope that Helena would allow her to convince her to sleep. She didn’t like how much she was hurting and she knew she was going to have to work hard to get Helena relaxed. She had suggested that she would have to sleep sometime and that she should rest now so that Rowan was nearby if she did suffer her usual nightmare. Any nightmares that did occur would be chased away soon enough as she knew she would never let Helena be troubled for too long. Helena had fought her for a long time before considering her answer. She had given in only when Rowan insisted Helena slept so that she could see how it went. Rowan’s gentle insistence had made it hard for Helena to refuse her request. She had settled slowly, Helena had relaxed as she sensed Rowan hovering closer, she felt entirely safe with Rowan where she was and she knew that without her there she would have never dared sleep. Rowan had watched her carefully as Helena finally slept. Helena had soon started to tremble. Rowan had moved closer, feeling for Helena’s pulse and realising it had risen drastically. She hated that Helena was suffering and she knew if she was to wait a few more seconds she would wake with a cry. Soon enough Helena had cried out as she woke, trembling painfully as she burrowed herself deeper into Rowan’s arms. Rowan had sighed softly, content to hold the trembling Admiral close and stroke her hair, speaking softly.
“Shhh now.”
Helena hadn’t moved at all, nuzzling into her a little more.
“It’s okay Helena, I’ve got you now."
Helena shivered slightly, enough that Rowan instantly drew her closer, completely forgetting the rules and working on pure instinct. Rowan had smiled slightly as Helena yawned.
“Sleep Helena, I’ve got you now, you’re safe.”
Helena’s shivering had died down slowly and Rowan smiled as she slept. She was so delicate and Rowan couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for her. She had to have been suffering these nightmares for a long time. She could sense that Helena had relaxed as she held her and she was glad that Helena felt safe with her. The sound of Helena’s soft murmurs was something that Rowan found entirely too endearing. She knew she shouldn’t risk falling in love with the woman she had been sent to keep safe but she had a feeling it was far too late to even try to stop. She had already fallen for her. Helena was so much more delicate than anyone she had ever guarded before and she knew that, although she had to answer to President Laura Roslin, she would be forgiven for falling for her. She got the feeling that Helena and Laura had had a little interaction in the past. Still, she could understand why. Helena was beautiful, intelligent and sweet, not to mention damaged and gentle in her own wonderful way. She knew that she was possibly only the third person to see that side of Helena besides her family. Still, she knew that she and Helena were to be close for a long time and she got the feeling that they could let their attraction grow on it’s own without much pushing. As it was they were getting on already. Helena’s gentle murmuring died out slowly and Rowan knew she had finally enabled Helena to entirely rest, not even hiding in her dreams. Helena had suddenly shivered and before she could cry she had nuzzled further closer to Rowan who instinctively cradled her tighter, stroking her hair gently. She smiled as Helena’s shivers died off. She was glad she could look after this beautiful and fragile woman. Seeing Helena rest was something she knew few people got to see and she was glad she was one of the lucky ones, she hoped that when Helena felt safe enough to commit to a relationship she would be able to chase away the rest of Helena’s fears. Helena was less terrified now and Rowan smiled as she realised that perfecting her hold on Helena had been the thing that chased away all of Helena’s fears. She was glad that Helena would like her this much. She knew that seeing Helena smile was going to likely become the second most important thing to her. The first would always be to keep Helena safe. Helena’s soft murmurs returned and Rowan sensed that Helena would wake soon. She was unafraid of what was likely to happen but she hoped that Helena wouldn’t panic as much as she felt that she could.
She had been hesitant but smiled when Helena woke calmly.
“Good morning sleepyhead.”
“Morning.”
Helena had mewed softly, sleepily as she wiped her eyes. She was half-asleep and clearly exhausted. She was still in desperate need of sleep and it was clear she was not going to give in easily.
“Go back to sleep Helena, you’ll be fine. I’ll have someone step in for the day.”
“I can’t.”
“You have to.”
“I can’t.”
“Helena, you have to sleep.”
Helena had given in only when Rowan added a softer few words.
“Please, you must sleep.”
“Rowan.”
“Helena, you will die if you don’t rest… you’re already ill.”
“Rowan…”
“Helena, I will pull rank if I have to.”
Helena had sighed and allowed Rowan to tuck her in, resting herself into Rowan a little more. She didn’t want Rowan to leave and she was fairly sure that if Rowan did she would cry miserably and probably suffer even worse dreams and nightmares. Rowan had cradled her gently and spoken quickly as she gave orders for Helena’s second in command to step up, radioing in so that she could report her placement to Laura, allowing Helena a few moments to thank Laura before she rang off, content when Helena rested her forehead into her neck. Rowan could tell the woman felt safer than usual and although Helena was still tentative she had smiled as she let herself drift back to sleep. She was shivering and seemed to be having a little trouble relaxing into it this time. Rowan had moved on instinct to cradle her closer and softly murmuring tender words of love for Helena. She knew that Helena had no idea how much she already meant to Rowan. Rowan had a feeling that Helena was unused to having anyone love her. She couldn’t fall in love with her yet and Rowan knew that Helena would need a lot of time for consideration, she also knew that the words would ease any worries Helena had for the time being. Helena had smiled softly as she slept, seemingly less panicked than ever before. Helena’s soft murmurs had been gone quickly this time and she knew that Helena would sleep perfectly well this time. She had no doubt that Helena would feel less tense as she was likely to feel happy when she was loved. She knew that although Helena wasn’t ready for physical love she would appreciate the tenderness she was being given. Rowan knew there was no way she could hide her love for Helena. She decided it was likely best that she didn’t even try. Her smile was gentle as she lowered Helena to rest on the bed, moving to tidy the room before she glanced over at Helena. Helena was shivering and she moved to gently stroke Helena’s hair off her face.
“I’m still here darling, you’re okay.”
Helena’s shivers had died out again and she smiled softly.
“Good girl.”
She continued to talk softly as she continued to tidy, smiling when she glanced back to see that Helena was still sleeping soundly. She was glad that Helena only needed her voice as it meant that later on she could work on writing up some reports whilst Helena slept. She knew that Helena being relaxed was the most important thing. Her smile was soft as she finished tidying up and slipped closer to Helena again. Helena had shifted slightly to nestle back against her and Rowan couldn’t help but smile softly, she was so gentle. Helena’s shivers had started up again and Rowan smiled softly, pulling her closer and tightening her grip on the woman.
“Shhhh Helena.”
Helena had sighed in her sleep and finally relaxed again, her whimper softly accented with pain. Rowan had instantly loosened her grip on Helena, allowing herself to relax slightly as Helena slept on. She knew that Helena would feel happier when she was sleeping with her present but all the same she couldn’t help but smile as Helena’s shivers were defeated yet again. Her smile was gentle when Helena slept peacefully. She loved how happy Helena was at the moment and she was growing determined to protect her. Well, to protect and love her. She knew that Helena and she could settle together easily and she had a feeling that when Helena was ready they could move on together. Seeing Helena rest was the most important thing for now but she knew after a couple of weeks had passed they would most likely be friends if not more. The chance to make Helena happy was one she would always take and she knew that she could look after Helena in ways most others couldn’t. Of course if their relationship grew then she would have to leave her current job. She knew there was a record for people leaving the job after 2 jobs and she had at least managed to rack up a full 10 but she still knew she’d feel a little guilty if she left. Of course if it meant she got to spend the rest of her life with Helena she knew she could deal with that. Of course she’d have to deal with the fallout. She couldn’t help but wonder what would happen when she decided to resign. She didn’t much mind though. She knew that whatever had happened she could look out for Helena and really that was all the mattered. Of course, she knew she’d always feel just the slightest bit guilty about what she was choosing to do. She didn’t mind though as she knew that Helena needed her more than most. Most considered having an Angel as a way to show people they were important. Helena actually needed an Angel to look out for her. Helena knew that she was safe, that much was clear as she hadn’t woken again. She also seemed to be fighting off the illness that had settled in that week.
She had smiled when Helena woke up. Helena seemed a lot more relaxed now and she seemed less afraid of physical contact. Rowan had hesitated before she kissed Helena softly, sensing that Helena needed a little physical contact to prove that Helena meant the world to Rowan. Rowan wasn’t at all afraid. She knew that if she was gentle and took her time with Helena then they could confirm their love for one another. She was gentle as she moved to remove Helena’s dress shirt and the vest underneath, her lips brushing Helena’s shoulder as she moved to unbutton Helena’s pants, the girl-boxers underneath joining them on the floor straight away. She didn’t rush herself and took her time to kiss her way inwards from Helena’s shoulders and down over her body and down to her chest. She paused there to make the woman squirm as she took her time to pleasure her, smiling when Helena’s chest reacted. She knew that as she made her way down over Helena’s stomach she was teasing the woman a little, testing her resolve. She was glad when Helena kissed her shoulder as she made her way to Helena’s thighs. She had kissed her way up from Helena’s feet to her inner thigh before working to pleasure Helena. She knew from the reactions that she was getting that Helena was getting more and more excited. She loved when Helena mewed the way she was as she sensed that it meant that Helena was getting closer and closer to her release. She had smiled as Helena began to get closer and closer to climax, she knew that Helena was likely to relax once she had a release. She had hoped so anyway. She knew that Helena was close and purred softly as she felt the woman tense. Once Helena hit her release she couldn’t help but smile, watching as Helena slid to sleep.
She was glad when Helena sighed in her sleep, moving to clean them both off before moving to cradle Helena closer again. She was smiling as she realised that Helena sleeping was a good choice for her as she needed to get her bedroom sorted. She also knew that the longer that Helena slept, the sooner she would get better. Helena’s fever had died out but she was still shivering occasionally which worried her still. She knew that attending to Helena was her job but she made a point to call in to Laura to ask her to send someone to be her second in command as she had a feeling that she needed to watch what was happening with the rest of the crew. The woman had appeared a day later and Helena had insisted on accompanying Rowan whilst she arranged for the girl to work with Helena’s second in command. That had taken them all of ten minutes. She was glad when Helena allowed her to shepard her back to bed. The woman was soon going to sleep again and although Rowan had no idea how she could deal with the troubles Helena had she knew that she would feel better once Helena had relaxed and fended off her nightmares and illness. Rowan knew that when she let Helena relax she would be glad that she had let her relax. Of course, she dreaded the day that she had to quit. She had pre-warned Laura that she would be leaving the group so that Helena would always be safe. Laura had offered to keep the job open and Rowan had agreed as she knew that if she needed the money she would go back until she was sure she had enough to live on. She also knew that she would do her best to keep Helena happy. She was glad to leave Helena to sleep as she knew that by now Helena’s nightmares had eased. She checked in quickly with Laura to update her on what was happening. She knew that as time went on both she and Helena would need to keep Laura updated but she liked that it was pretty much her domain so far. The more that time passed, the happier she felt. She knew that Laura was happy that she and Helena were getting on so well. Of course, she doubted Laura would be as happy when she left the group. She knew that she would have to find a way to keep in touch with her as the president meant the world to her as a good friend. She wasn’t sure how she would manage it but she would find a way. She knew that Helena wouldn’t deny her that small bit of pleasure as long as she stayed by Helena’s side. Helena had become a lot less tense recently and Rowan was glad she was learning to relax. Of course, in public Helena was very much the same as she had always been but now in private she was a lot less brisk and a lot more relaxed about allowing herself to rest and have some time away from the job. The job was less demanding now as Helena had seen how well her second in command did and now felt safe to leave her in charge now and again whilst she had a little downtime to rest and talk to Rowan. Rowan now worked the same hours as Helena and the two had begun to settle into a routine. Seeing Rowan and Helena together had done wonders for crew morale and Helena had actually loosened up on the no relationship rules once Rowan pointed out the fact that technically Helena herself was breaking that rule. Helena, despite being just as tough as normal was now getting better at rewarding people when they did things well. She knew now that she needed to reward people who did good work as they often tended to slacken their work if they didn’t get at least a little recognition. She was also beginning to smile more often.
Seeing Helena smile was one of the many upsides of Rowan’s new job that she’d taken on. Rowan hadn’t expected the change to be so sudden but she had found that she loved the changes she’d made. Her smile often came soon after she’d seen Helena smile. She hadn’t realised that she’d fallen in love until she heard someone remark on how similar she and Helena were becoming. She didn’t think it was a bad thing but she hadn’t seen it coming at all. Things had definitely settled down and Rowan knew part of it was due to Helena feeling safe. Helena no longer needed Rowan by her side to rest, she only needed to know that she was loved and that Rowan would be there when she was most needed. She was a lot less shy about asking for help and Rowan was pleased to see the way her friends and the crew in general reacted. Laura had been happy to offer Helena help and Helena seemed happy enough to accept it. The two, who had been a little stuck when they had differences of opinion also seemed to now be able to sort the problem out without resorting to dirty tactics. Arguments had stopped breaking out quite so often and recently Helena seemed to have a grip on her temper. If she did explode she would often calm herself and apologise. Everyone knew that she would sometimes loose her cool, she was only human, and they knew that when she apologized she meant it. People had begun to accept that she had her good points and she was starting to warm up to a few select people. Sometimes she would have to ask people to leave her be as she wasn’t quite ready to handle quite so much work at the same time but she would actually ask them politely instead of her old trick of screaming at them to get out. She had learnt a lot from spending time with Rowan and Rowan in return had learnt a lot from spending time with Helena. The two had become similar but neither minded that they were so alike as they found that they were still pretty much the Yin to the others Yang. They were a lot less panicky then they had been and the ship had fallen into order. People no longer seemed to be above giving sensitive orders and giving people a little slack when they needed it. People often needed less slack as they had the support they needed to learn what their job was and pick it up a lot easier. They also had a stronger support network for those who needed it. It also showed that they had time to have friendships outside work and each person now had a fairer amount of downtime to relax. People had bonded tightly with each other and when someone needed to take a break the others now helped to share the weight of it all out. Helena and her command staff were now part of the same sort of unit that was helping people all over the ship to get on with their jobs better. People had learnt fast that to create problems just came back to bite them in the backside. The times that they didn’t get the hint they were given a short stint in the brig although they generally came back a lot more willing to co-operate. Those that didn’t manage that were referred to a meeting of the wronged parties and the president. Which generally ended in a referral and move to another ship in the group. By the time that they were nearing earth most of the people in the group had settled in and those who had had to be removed were only around 2 percent of the people who had been on board in the first place. Helena and Rowan had managed to control most of what happened and what they hadn’t controlled had been sorted out within minutes. When they did have control things tended to go a lot better then when they didn’t. Those times that they didn’t have control were rare and when they did it was incredibly clear that they were fully in control. They liked being in control as they knew that the people of the ship genuinely liked and supported them so when they didn’t have control it was a little more of a problem. She wasn’t at all surprised when Helena asked her if she’d like to be second in command and Rowan had agreed to it instantly. They were mostly known by the name pairing of Cain and Angel despite Rowan’s last name being completely different. They were very fond of her and she seemed to have gained a lot of popularity in her own right as well as in her job as Helena’s second in command and lover. Soon enough the two were planning to be married, officially. Unofficially they had been married since the moment they fell in love. Of course, officially they needed to be married so that the ship records were always up to date and so that they would always be afforded the rights of a woman’s husband. Of course they were technically wife and wife but nobody much bothered to make a joke out of it. They knew that Helena and Rowan were very much in love and most people agreed that they were pretty close to being perfect for each other. Those who didn’t think so weren’t too worried all the same as they knew that Helena and Rowan would always be close. No matter what happened now it seemed they would be together forever. Rowan had always sworn to Helena that she would always be by her side and Helena knew that Rowan had always meant it. Rowan and Helena had soon been married officially by Laura, a fact all three were proud of. It had been hard for them both.
The end.