Chad
I always feel bad when I have nothing interesting to say (which is always) but when something does happen, I'm compelled to put it down for all you freaks to enjoy.
I was in my office this morning. It's about 10:40 and the entire span of my desk looked like a private eye's office in your typical film noir.
I hear a small shuffling from my left. I glance over briefly and then back at the computer screen. My fingers stop tapping the keys as my still waking brain registers what I saw.
A little mouse.
Just sitting there, right beside the poison mouse cube.
Looking at me.
I turned my head slowly and looked at him. He sat there, on his haunches, blinking. After a few seconds he quickly ran his paws over his face like he was cleaning himself.
"Hi mouse." I said. The mouse probably thought I was a complete idiot calling him by his family name. (I take pause here to laugh at my own joke..I know it's tacky but hey.. why not?)
He just blinked.
"If anyone sees you, you're going to be in trouble."
He didn't seem fazed.
I reached over into my top desk drawer for a crisper and gently tossed it in his direction. It landed about six inches from him and he scuttled behind my filing cabinet. I watched for a few minutes and then my phone rang and I lost track of him.
But the crisper was gone, and he left me a little poop as a thank you.
I'm going to name him Chad. Chad the mouse.
I'm going to bring Chad some reduced fat wheat thins to share at lunchtime.
No I'm not kidding, no I'm not a freak.
Yes shit like this really DOES amuse me.
I was in my office this morning. It's about 10:40 and the entire span of my desk looked like a private eye's office in your typical film noir.
I hear a small shuffling from my left. I glance over briefly and then back at the computer screen. My fingers stop tapping the keys as my still waking brain registers what I saw.
A little mouse.
Just sitting there, right beside the poison mouse cube.
Looking at me.
I turned my head slowly and looked at him. He sat there, on his haunches, blinking. After a few seconds he quickly ran his paws over his face like he was cleaning himself.
"Hi mouse." I said. The mouse probably thought I was a complete idiot calling him by his family name. (I take pause here to laugh at my own joke..I know it's tacky but hey.. why not?)
He just blinked.
"If anyone sees you, you're going to be in trouble."
He didn't seem fazed.
I reached over into my top desk drawer for a crisper and gently tossed it in his direction. It landed about six inches from him and he scuttled behind my filing cabinet. I watched for a few minutes and then my phone rang and I lost track of him.
But the crisper was gone, and he left me a little poop as a thank you.
I'm going to name him Chad. Chad the mouse.
I'm going to bring Chad some reduced fat wheat thins to share at lunchtime.
No I'm not kidding, no I'm not a freak.
Yes shit like this really DOES amuse me.