What boys could learn from girls...

[lizzypaul]

My brother is a decent kid, and I love him, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s homophobic.

To his credit, he doesn’t want to be a homophobe...he’s a good, progressive boy raised by a progressive mom, living in a progressive area (San Francisco), and he has a lesbian sister (me) that he loves. He’d never beat up or tease a gay kid--he’s

Comments

[qkellie]

This mirrors my experience of reading this. I appreciate the OP's clarifications to the objections, and I honestly think this is all a really interesting and hopefully enlightening realization that she can share with her brother.

ETA: I want to also add something now that I've read through all of the comments--this is a kind of an essay, yes, but it's not an academic essay in which all points are vetted, researched (some are, some aren't), peer reviewed and thoroughly thought through before writing. I do not believe we must hold it to the same standards, although in formal research essay writing it is 100% perfectly appropriate to use comparison as a point of revealing things about a particular thesis. If we were comparing tomatoes and strawberries in an effort to better understand strawberries, would we find that offensive? Would we feel it marginalized strawberries and appropriated the tomato identity? If not, then why isn't the OP allowed to compare and make an analogy out of the straight male experience in relation to gay men with the female experience in relation to straight men? If it helps her brother make that crucial leap in understanding, empathy, and loss of the unwarranted element of his fear, then I think that's a good thing. If she were writing an essay on gay men and made this analogy, it would make for weak writing, but that's not her point.

[drooling_ferret]

This, basically.

[heder]

agreed

[dorktastic]

Has anyone suggested that this piece of writing be held to the standards of a formal research essay?

[qkellie]

Only vaguely. There was some minor debate about whether or not it was an essay at all, and I just wanted to illustrate some basic forms of essay-based evidence usage in a different rhetorical situation.

[dorktastic]

The only person who even mentioned a research essay was the OP who didn't realize that ciaraxyrra was not referring to the piece as an academic paper when she referred to it as an essay.

[qkellie]

But is it being held to the same standards as a research essay by some whether they mean to or not?

[dorktastic]

No. Do you see anyone calling for scholarly sources? Objecting to the informal writing of the piece? It's being held to the standards of an intersectional feminist perspective.

[qkellie]

Okay, fair enough. However, were the OP to formalize this, I don't know that I would have a problem with the mere existence of the use of analogy, provided it had some of the qualifying language that has been mentioned in comments as possibly making this less offensive. If the OP truly meant not to minimize the experiences of some populations, then if this piece were to go to a final draft stage, it would need to actually contain more of her full intentions.

[crafting_change]

The issue is, though, that this is a discussion forum - not a place to share essays w/o feedback. The feedback may feel like vetting - but it is because this is an arena to hold our ideas to the light to seek out where shadows of our own biases still stand.

I get tired of the 'don't expect too much from this' critique because it is hinged on the idea that only certain spaces are for learning or high expectations which to me is a classist assumption in of itself. I do not have a 4 year degree - I attend nightschool at community college - but I damned well look forward to critique where ever I can find it.. someone taking the time to unpack my bullshit for me is a f'ing gift.

[qkellie]

I thank you for this response. I do tend to look at writing in the binary of "formal" versus "informal" writing because I'm a college writing teacher. You've forced me to try to get outside my scope, which I appreciate.