First post
Hi everyone, this is my first post. I am a 38 years old and have always been interested in feminism, and to try to practice what I preach.
I thought I might post a rant that I recently put on my own journal.
There was yet another article printed about how women should not leave it too late to have children. This is a good point, and should be taught to young men and women in high school. However, I don't think that it is helpful to berate older women for not having ten kids yet and blaming them for their situation.
Like to BBC article: (one of many)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4248244.stm
I would like to know how many of those male obstetricians under 40 proposed to a women when he was 20 or 22 years old - while doing 3rd year uni? How many young men today are out wining and dining and looking at rings and hopping that she will say yes - I am talking about 20 years olds here, not too many!
And how many older journalists and researchers has told his daughter not to "get into trouble" or "have a baby before your are financially, morally (ie married) and otherwise ready?". I know my father said that.
But no, it is *our* fault for being so selfish, hedonistic and wanting it all. Hmm, so how many female CEOs are reading this? There are a lot of woman like myself, (even though I have a degree) who do not have brilliant careers, worst luck. So it is really adding insult to injury to now say that I to "want it all". Good luck to you ladies who do have great careers by the way - but even if we just consider single people, there are less women than men in high positions so it is a bit insulting to say that all childless women over thirty are stupidly risking everything for careers. Many of us were responding to society's exceptions, that one should be married and so forth. I decided when I was about 25 that if I was not married or had a boyfriend by about 36 then I would just go to a night club and get laid! Yet had I have done so then I would have been derided in the press as being a "single mother who, shock, horror, was single by choice! Disgusting!
Here is the article I would want to see:
Many women are leaving childbearing until far too late in life. In some cases the woman may be unaware of the risks of leaving childbearing till after 35, but in many cases it is the circumstances in their lives that is the problem. Key things that need to be changed are the following:
Having children should be seen as a societal issue, rather than just a women's issue. In particular, and is to be stressed to young men that the chances of them going out with a woman 20 years younger than themselves are not good. If he ever wants to be a father then he really ought to think about marrying before he reaches the age of 22. This would dramatically decrease the age that women had their first child. Young men should not be so selfish and hedonistic and take more responsibility for themselves and the next generation.
All universities should cater for young women who want to have children early in life. Every university should have a child care centre that is freely available to all students and staff and does not have the waiting list. (I don't think there is any university that currently matches this criteria.) It should be universal university policy that extensions or special consideration should always be given to any woman who needs it's due to pregnancy or labour. Academic leave of absence should be automatically offered to any young mother regardless of her previous academic standing.
Mental health facilities must be dramatically increased and freely available, particularly to young women. Obstetricians have warned that it is vitally important that a young woman not spend 10 years of her life being misdiagnosed or not getting the treatment she requires, while her biological clock is steadily ticking away. The money spent on treatment or prevention early on can save a fortune in IVF treatments further down the track.
In the workforce it should be known that having children would actually improve rather than decrease one's career prospects. Surely the organisational and time management skills gained while bringing up children should be an invaluable contribution to the workplace with employers clambering over themselves to hire returning mothers. As well there needs to be an extensive statewide child-care system, or workplace based child-care facilities for working mothers who are still nursing. Having children should be such a bonus that the young career minded and highly educated women would be very excited about having children early. Instead of being excluded from society having children would make one the centre of society, with mothers' groups exchanging valuable business contacts. This would also break the power balance with traditional male groups like the Freemasons or Rotary in the past making business contacts in the absence of women. (Some still do.)
Being a mother of any age should induce respect. It should be a rite of passage that increases one's esteem, income and career prospects. If our society had different values than this would not be a fantasy, it could be fact. The attitude of government and private employers, large industry groups, professional societies, mental health providers, governments, educational institutions and carefree young men must radically change if the alarming rate of IVF treatments and age-related infertility is to be curtailed, leading obstetricians have warned.
I thought I might post a rant that I recently put on my own journal.
There was yet another article printed about how women should not leave it too late to have children. This is a good point, and should be taught to young men and women in high school. However, I don't think that it is helpful to berate older women for not having ten kids yet and blaming them for their situation.
Like to BBC article: (one of many)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4248244.stm
I would like to know how many of those male obstetricians under 40 proposed to a women when he was 20 or 22 years old - while doing 3rd year uni? How many young men today are out wining and dining and looking at rings and hopping that she will say yes - I am talking about 20 years olds here, not too many!
And how many older journalists and researchers has told his daughter not to "get into trouble" or "have a baby before your are financially, morally (ie married) and otherwise ready?". I know my father said that.
But no, it is *our* fault for being so selfish, hedonistic and wanting it all. Hmm, so how many female CEOs are reading this? There are a lot of woman like myself, (even though I have a degree) who do not have brilliant careers, worst luck. So it is really adding insult to injury to now say that I to "want it all". Good luck to you ladies who do have great careers by the way - but even if we just consider single people, there are less women than men in high positions so it is a bit insulting to say that all childless women over thirty are stupidly risking everything for careers. Many of us were responding to society's exceptions, that one should be married and so forth. I decided when I was about 25 that if I was not married or had a boyfriend by about 36 then I would just go to a night club and get laid! Yet had I have done so then I would have been derided in the press as being a "single mother who, shock, horror, was single by choice! Disgusting!
Here is the article I would want to see:
Many women are leaving childbearing until far too late in life. In some cases the woman may be unaware of the risks of leaving childbearing till after 35, but in many cases it is the circumstances in their lives that is the problem. Key things that need to be changed are the following:
Having children should be seen as a societal issue, rather than just a women's issue. In particular, and is to be stressed to young men that the chances of them going out with a woman 20 years younger than themselves are not good. If he ever wants to be a father then he really ought to think about marrying before he reaches the age of 22. This would dramatically decrease the age that women had their first child. Young men should not be so selfish and hedonistic and take more responsibility for themselves and the next generation.
All universities should cater for young women who want to have children early in life. Every university should have a child care centre that is freely available to all students and staff and does not have the waiting list. (I don't think there is any university that currently matches this criteria.) It should be universal university policy that extensions or special consideration should always be given to any woman who needs it's due to pregnancy or labour. Academic leave of absence should be automatically offered to any young mother regardless of her previous academic standing.
Mental health facilities must be dramatically increased and freely available, particularly to young women. Obstetricians have warned that it is vitally important that a young woman not spend 10 years of her life being misdiagnosed or not getting the treatment she requires, while her biological clock is steadily ticking away. The money spent on treatment or prevention early on can save a fortune in IVF treatments further down the track.
In the workforce it should be known that having children would actually improve rather than decrease one's career prospects. Surely the organisational and time management skills gained while bringing up children should be an invaluable contribution to the workplace with employers clambering over themselves to hire returning mothers. As well there needs to be an extensive statewide child-care system, or workplace based child-care facilities for working mothers who are still nursing. Having children should be such a bonus that the young career minded and highly educated women would be very excited about having children early. Instead of being excluded from society having children would make one the centre of society, with mothers' groups exchanging valuable business contacts. This would also break the power balance with traditional male groups like the Freemasons or Rotary in the past making business contacts in the absence of women. (Some still do.)
Being a mother of any age should induce respect. It should be a rite of passage that increases one's esteem, income and career prospects. If our society had different values than this would not be a fantasy, it could be fact. The attitude of government and private employers, large industry groups, professional societies, mental health providers, governments, educational institutions and carefree young men must radically change if the alarming rate of IVF treatments and age-related infertility is to be curtailed, leading obstetricians have warned.