Sitting in the hot tub reflecting on my day

[femgyrl]

Today was the day that I got all my stuff out of Levi's house....no turning back, no more hoping something will change, be different or that we can end this time we've shared with anything other than hurt & bitterness. She made sure her Mom was there to keep an eye on me & I guess we didn't take anything that wasn't mine.I left plenty of my stuff there for her because she was using it like the fire pit she gave me me, the shelves in the garage, lots of my cooking stuff, a picture that she really loved. Clearly, she's been talking shit about me to her mom as well as everyone else on the internet. Oh, well, turnabout is fair play and I'll stop pretending to everyone that everything is all amicable and okay. Shit is not okay and I'm tired of being sad and hurting for someone that has zero caring for me. I can 't even start on the shit she has said & done to hurt my kids & I've made so many excuses for her but now I'm just sad & embarrassed for staying with someone like that.

What a long day but I survived. I drove a big moving truck for the first time ever! Go me!

The one thing I know for certain is that I am forever grateful to Lana for letting me into her life, for asking me to live with her, for sharing everything she has like I was her family...for holding me through all the tears & meltdowns and telling me everything would be okay, that I was stronger than I knew and reminding me that I am loved every single day. I would be lost without her... agreeing to play house with Lana was the best decision I've made in a long time.