Hard Things [Blade of the Immortal, Asano Rin, PG]
Title: Hard Things
Author: lanoyee
Fandom: Blade of the Immortal
Rating: PG
Warnings: Uh. References to somewhat brutal canon happenings?
Prompt: 143) I hadn't been aware that there were doors closed to me until I started knocking on them. -- Gertrude B. Elion, American biochemist, pharmacologist and winner of the 1988 Nobel Prize in Medicine (with George Hitchings and Sir James Black).
Summary: After all is said and done, Asano Rin is met with a proposition.
Author's Notes: MANY, MANY THANKS to the wonderful senri, who's been patient in letting me bounce ideas off her and even letting me borrow some of her own; and to my beta tanrien, who has been there in the nick of time. I didn't really use the prompt, but it fits in a general way. Entirely speculative post-eventual-canon fic.
There comes a time in your life when you're caught between a rock and a hard place, and Rin never felt that quite as acutely as a month after she'd returned to Edo, alone. She was alone because she'd fought her battles, and the government had caught up with Manji, but let him go under the condition that he never show his face in Edo again.
"They probably see no merit in detaining him,“ she told Hyakurin. "He can't die, and they remember what happened last time someone put him in a prison.“
Hyakurin smirked at her with knowledge, and she smiled back, with a sort of flippant ease of which she wasn't quite sure when she'd acquired it. There was a long road behind her, and she knew she'd never be able to trace back the steps. You could only walk forward if you wanted to get anywhere at all.
So she settled back into her birth house, at the old Mutenichi-ryū dōjō, and establed sort of a living. It was proper, living here, where the story had taken its beginning. It all came full circle. She thought she might move one day, or maybe go see the world, but that day was not now and not soon.
It was more peaceful than she'd expected it to be (she was not used to „peaceful“ anymore, almost estranged from the concept) until one day, a man came up the dirt road from the canal and yelled for the house's owner as politely as one could yell. Rin came running quickly, and she didn't invite him inside for tea, leaning in the front door frame like a watchdog instead.
"Very sorry to disturb you, lady,“ said the man, watchful eyes drinking in her posture and what little of her realm he could see. Then he bowed, so deep his head was almost at the same height as his waist. "This may surprise you, but I come to you with a message from the O-bangashira.“
Rin heard him out, and when he was done, she watched him walk back down the dirt road until he'd gotten out of sight.
---
She kept contact with Manji. They wrote letters to each other, now. It wasn't the same, but her heart had been aching for three years, so it could go on for a while longer. But she found out new things, too: how his handwriting was surprisingly neat, and how he worded things differently in writing - his samurai training really shone through - but still managed to make it uniquely Manji.
---
Dear Manji,
it's not been long since I last wrote you. I'd love to ask how you and the kids are doing, but, Manji, this may well be my last letter, and that is why I am writing so soon, even though not much has happened in the meantime except for that which I am writing to you about.
Two days ago, an emissionary from the government came to my house, and he presented me with a proposal and a choice that has exactly two outcomes: either I become an agent for the government, or I'll be executed on charges of highway murder on the one hand, and the invasion and damage of Edo castle and subsequent threat to the shōgun's safety on the other.
Now, don't worry! I've been thinking about this since, and the conclusion is that I'm going to take the job. What else am I to do? I mean, just giving up and dying after all I've survived up to now would be pretty stupid, wouldn't it? Yes, I knew you'd agree.
I don't know what awaits me. Not what they want me to do, what sort of life I'll lead, or whether I'll ever see anyone again. Whether I'll be able to still write you. Whether I'll have a gravestone when I die. I suppose things could be worse.
So hang in there, all right? Make your life the best it could be. And don't yell at the orphans too much. They're lucky to have you.
Kansei 5th year, first month, twelfth day
Asano Rin
---
A week later, the day before she went to Edo castle, found her in a teahouse in one of the seedier districts in town on a bench across from Hyakurin and Giichi. She'd sent them a note asking to meet up. Hyakurin poured her a cup of sake.
"Suppose I won't have time to teach you to hold your liquor now, but I can at least lay the foundation.“
Giichi said nothing.
The sake burned on her tongue and throat, and it made her sputter, but she thought she might get used to it one day.
They were sparse with words and didn't mention her future, because there wasn't really anything to be said about it. Even if she once caught Hyakurin scowling like she only did when she was truly furious with something.
When it was time to say their goodbyes, she bowed to both of them. "I'm sorry to have troubled you,“ she said, "I wish you all the best.“ Then she stood up on her tiptoes, holding onto Hyakurin's arms, and whispered in her ear. "And good luck with the baby.“
Hyakurin gave her a sidelong glance that Rin wasn't sure what to make of and let her go.
---
The next morning she left her house for what she thought might be the last time. She'd gotten up early, cleaned all the rooms, stowed away the futons in the closet, gathered her few very necessary possessions and a few sentimental extras and closed all the doors. She stepped through the front gate with a sort of apprehension; it felt slow like molasses, like time eked out a bit of room for her to settle in, and yet it was over in an instant.
Rin turned around and looked over the wall to the familiar roof and closed up the front door, too. Then she turned around swiftly and walked away.
---
Edo castle was a deep dungeon and a hungry spirit, and this time, she felt, it swallowed her up whole.
---
A servant greeted her at Ōte gate and brought her to one of the comparatively smaller buildings in the administrative area. The room he led her into was a small guest room not unlike the ones she'd been to before. She was left there to wait without tea, and she waited for a while, fighting the urge to squirm out of her polite seiza position. Her eyes moved, but met with nothing but walls and sliding screens the like of which she'd seen every day in the house she left behind - and she couldn't help but think that this was exactly the intention.
Finally, she heard voices and dull steps outside and immediately straightened, and when the sliding door from the hall opened, she threw a quick glance to the man who entered - moderately tall, stocky, with a peculiar face and a topknot - then threw herself down to prostrate herself before him.
"Asano Rin of the Mutenichi-ryū school, is it? Or should I say, the former Mutenichi-ryū.“ There was a kind of mirth in his voice that might have been intended to sound endearing, but wasn't at all. "Please, raise your head.“
Rin did as told and looked the man in the face. His cheekbones and jaw were strongly defined, his lips dark and curved like a woman's, looking slightly out of place. His kimono was simple, but made of fabric that was probably more expensive than it seemed. Keeping her eyes on his face to see if he showed disapproval, she slowly eased herself back into a sitting position.
When he'd stared her down sufficiently, he sat down across from her, at the usual polite distance.
"Good day,“ he continued. "I am Hanabusa Ugen, bangashira. You may have heard of my predecessor, Habaki Kagimura.“
There was a pause in which his eyes probed her. "Now, I have heard quite a lot of you, Asano Rin, and I believed it would be a shame to see your evident talents go to waste.“ He waved a hand to the side of his face, and she heard him suck in some air. "I hope you realize that if it weren't for my intervention, you wouldn't have had this choice at all.“
Rin swallowed and nodded. Yes, she did realize. The crimes she'd been blamed with were unquestionably deserving of death penalty, and even considering the one was not hers to begin with, the other was the worse. And so, the end result was the same.
Hanabusa did not mince words long in explaining her new life to her. "In short, you will do spy work for us,“ was how he finished, and then he chided, "and do work on your subtlety.“
---
Dear Manji,
it's been a while, but now I can write to you again. I was sure being silly in my latest letter! In the end, things aren't half as bad as I expected them to be. I can even live in the city, just not in my old house anymore. I am supposed to be undercover. But I found someone to take care of it! I met Renzō again, and offered for him to stay there. Surprisingly, he agreeed. It was a bit of a shock, because of all the history, which I told him about - well, in vague terms - and because I'm not sure what one child is going to do alone in a house that big. At least I kept it in good shape.
I am doing okay. It's not the life I expected or wanted, but in the end you earn what you sow. And I suppose I sowed a mighty lot. It may get a little lonely, but at least I have work to do, and in a way, you could even call it honest work. You could even call it a privilege. With a bit of luck and a bit of good managing, I may even be able to use this. For things. Good things, hopefully. Keep your fingers crossed for me, yes? I'm not trying to style myself some sort of revolutionary, but if I get a chance to actually change things, even in small ways, I'm not going to deny it, either.
I am even getting a salary! It's not much, so it's not like I could send you any funds or some such - much as I'd love to - and I can count myself lucky if I even manage to pay Master Sōri back in this lifetime. But, see, this is something I can do - I could try and talk to people about the funding of orphanages! How does that sound? No, I won't rush into things. Well, I'll try not to. I know I owe you that much.
Oh, and did you know Hyakurin is having a baby? It's not long now. I'm really excited, for some reason. It feels a little like getting a little brother or sister. But only a little. If it's a girl, I bet she's going to be so pretty! But I'd kind of like a little boy to boss around.
Well, that was it for now. How are you and the kids doing? Well, I hope. Please write back soon.
Kansei 5th year, third month, fifth day
Asano Rin
Author: lanoyee
Fandom: Blade of the Immortal
Rating: PG
Warnings: Uh. References to somewhat brutal canon happenings?
Prompt: 143) I hadn't been aware that there were doors closed to me until I started knocking on them. -- Gertrude B. Elion, American biochemist, pharmacologist and winner of the 1988 Nobel Prize in Medicine (with George Hitchings and Sir James Black).
Summary: After all is said and done, Asano Rin is met with a proposition.
Author's Notes: MANY, MANY THANKS to the wonderful senri, who's been patient in letting me bounce ideas off her and even letting me borrow some of her own; and to my beta tanrien, who has been there in the nick of time. I didn't really use the prompt, but it fits in a general way. Entirely speculative post-eventual-canon fic.
There comes a time in your life when you're caught between a rock and a hard place, and Rin never felt that quite as acutely as a month after she'd returned to Edo, alone. She was alone because she'd fought her battles, and the government had caught up with Manji, but let him go under the condition that he never show his face in Edo again.
"They probably see no merit in detaining him,“ she told Hyakurin. "He can't die, and they remember what happened last time someone put him in a prison.“
Hyakurin smirked at her with knowledge, and she smiled back, with a sort of flippant ease of which she wasn't quite sure when she'd acquired it. There was a long road behind her, and she knew she'd never be able to trace back the steps. You could only walk forward if you wanted to get anywhere at all.
So she settled back into her birth house, at the old Mutenichi-ryū dōjō, and establed sort of a living. It was proper, living here, where the story had taken its beginning. It all came full circle. She thought she might move one day, or maybe go see the world, but that day was not now and not soon.
It was more peaceful than she'd expected it to be (she was not used to „peaceful“ anymore, almost estranged from the concept) until one day, a man came up the dirt road from the canal and yelled for the house's owner as politely as one could yell. Rin came running quickly, and she didn't invite him inside for tea, leaning in the front door frame like a watchdog instead.
"Very sorry to disturb you, lady,“ said the man, watchful eyes drinking in her posture and what little of her realm he could see. Then he bowed, so deep his head was almost at the same height as his waist. "This may surprise you, but I come to you with a message from the O-bangashira.“
Rin heard him out, and when he was done, she watched him walk back down the dirt road until he'd gotten out of sight.
---
She kept contact with Manji. They wrote letters to each other, now. It wasn't the same, but her heart had been aching for three years, so it could go on for a while longer. But she found out new things, too: how his handwriting was surprisingly neat, and how he worded things differently in writing - his samurai training really shone through - but still managed to make it uniquely Manji.
---
Dear Manji,
it's not been long since I last wrote you. I'd love to ask how you and the kids are doing, but, Manji, this may well be my last letter, and that is why I am writing so soon, even though not much has happened in the meantime except for that which I am writing to you about.
Two days ago, an emissionary from the government came to my house, and he presented me with a proposal and a choice that has exactly two outcomes: either I become an agent for the government, or I'll be executed on charges of highway murder on the one hand, and the invasion and damage of Edo castle and subsequent threat to the shōgun's safety on the other.
Now, don't worry! I've been thinking about this since, and the conclusion is that I'm going to take the job. What else am I to do? I mean, just giving up and dying after all I've survived up to now would be pretty stupid, wouldn't it? Yes, I knew you'd agree.
I don't know what awaits me. Not what they want me to do, what sort of life I'll lead, or whether I'll ever see anyone again. Whether I'll be able to still write you. Whether I'll have a gravestone when I die. I suppose things could be worse.
So hang in there, all right? Make your life the best it could be. And don't yell at the orphans too much. They're lucky to have you.
Kansei 5th year, first month, twelfth day
Asano Rin
---
A week later, the day before she went to Edo castle, found her in a teahouse in one of the seedier districts in town on a bench across from Hyakurin and Giichi. She'd sent them a note asking to meet up. Hyakurin poured her a cup of sake.
"Suppose I won't have time to teach you to hold your liquor now, but I can at least lay the foundation.“
Giichi said nothing.
The sake burned on her tongue and throat, and it made her sputter, but she thought she might get used to it one day.
They were sparse with words and didn't mention her future, because there wasn't really anything to be said about it. Even if she once caught Hyakurin scowling like she only did when she was truly furious with something.
When it was time to say their goodbyes, she bowed to both of them. "I'm sorry to have troubled you,“ she said, "I wish you all the best.“ Then she stood up on her tiptoes, holding onto Hyakurin's arms, and whispered in her ear. "And good luck with the baby.“
Hyakurin gave her a sidelong glance that Rin wasn't sure what to make of and let her go.
---
The next morning she left her house for what she thought might be the last time. She'd gotten up early, cleaned all the rooms, stowed away the futons in the closet, gathered her few very necessary possessions and a few sentimental extras and closed all the doors. She stepped through the front gate with a sort of apprehension; it felt slow like molasses, like time eked out a bit of room for her to settle in, and yet it was over in an instant.
Rin turned around and looked over the wall to the familiar roof and closed up the front door, too. Then she turned around swiftly and walked away.
---
Edo castle was a deep dungeon and a hungry spirit, and this time, she felt, it swallowed her up whole.
---
A servant greeted her at Ōte gate and brought her to one of the comparatively smaller buildings in the administrative area. The room he led her into was a small guest room not unlike the ones she'd been to before. She was left there to wait without tea, and she waited for a while, fighting the urge to squirm out of her polite seiza position. Her eyes moved, but met with nothing but walls and sliding screens the like of which she'd seen every day in the house she left behind - and she couldn't help but think that this was exactly the intention.
Finally, she heard voices and dull steps outside and immediately straightened, and when the sliding door from the hall opened, she threw a quick glance to the man who entered - moderately tall, stocky, with a peculiar face and a topknot - then threw herself down to prostrate herself before him.
"Asano Rin of the Mutenichi-ryū school, is it? Or should I say, the former Mutenichi-ryū.“ There was a kind of mirth in his voice that might have been intended to sound endearing, but wasn't at all. "Please, raise your head.“
Rin did as told and looked the man in the face. His cheekbones and jaw were strongly defined, his lips dark and curved like a woman's, looking slightly out of place. His kimono was simple, but made of fabric that was probably more expensive than it seemed. Keeping her eyes on his face to see if he showed disapproval, she slowly eased herself back into a sitting position.
When he'd stared her down sufficiently, he sat down across from her, at the usual polite distance.
"Good day,“ he continued. "I am Hanabusa Ugen, bangashira. You may have heard of my predecessor, Habaki Kagimura.“
There was a pause in which his eyes probed her. "Now, I have heard quite a lot of you, Asano Rin, and I believed it would be a shame to see your evident talents go to waste.“ He waved a hand to the side of his face, and she heard him suck in some air. "I hope you realize that if it weren't for my intervention, you wouldn't have had this choice at all.“
Rin swallowed and nodded. Yes, she did realize. The crimes she'd been blamed with were unquestionably deserving of death penalty, and even considering the one was not hers to begin with, the other was the worse. And so, the end result was the same.
Hanabusa did not mince words long in explaining her new life to her. "In short, you will do spy work for us,“ was how he finished, and then he chided, "and do work on your subtlety.“
---
Dear Manji,
it's been a while, but now I can write to you again. I was sure being silly in my latest letter! In the end, things aren't half as bad as I expected them to be. I can even live in the city, just not in my old house anymore. I am supposed to be undercover. But I found someone to take care of it! I met Renzō again, and offered for him to stay there. Surprisingly, he agreeed. It was a bit of a shock, because of all the history, which I told him about - well, in vague terms - and because I'm not sure what one child is going to do alone in a house that big. At least I kept it in good shape.
I am doing okay. It's not the life I expected or wanted, but in the end you earn what you sow. And I suppose I sowed a mighty lot. It may get a little lonely, but at least I have work to do, and in a way, you could even call it honest work. You could even call it a privilege. With a bit of luck and a bit of good managing, I may even be able to use this. For things. Good things, hopefully. Keep your fingers crossed for me, yes? I'm not trying to style myself some sort of revolutionary, but if I get a chance to actually change things, even in small ways, I'm not going to deny it, either.
I am even getting a salary! It's not much, so it's not like I could send you any funds or some such - much as I'd love to - and I can count myself lucky if I even manage to pay Master Sōri back in this lifetime. But, see, this is something I can do - I could try and talk to people about the funding of orphanages! How does that sound? No, I won't rush into things. Well, I'll try not to. I know I owe you that much.
Oh, and did you know Hyakurin is having a baby? It's not long now. I'm really excited, for some reason. It feels a little like getting a little brother or sister. But only a little. If it's a girl, I bet she's going to be so pretty! But I'd kind of like a little boy to boss around.
Well, that was it for now. How are you and the kids doing? Well, I hope. Please write back soon.
Kansei 5th year, third month, fifth day
Asano Rin