Can We Say Depressed
Yeah so i went to my uncles funnerul today. That was depress fest. I thought i would be able to handle it but i couldn't. When i found out he died i didn't have anyone to talk to not even tony. He was no comfort at all. I couldn't talk to any of my friends ethier. they were all busy, or i wouldn't feel comfortable talking with them. So i wasn't able to let it out to anyone just myself. But back at the funneral, I sat there in between my grandma and my grandmother. I didn't go up there to see him i really didn't want to remember him as a made up doll. I sat there glaring at the preist as he read the prayers aloud. Hoping if I glared hard enough he would burst in flams. I didn't feel saddness but hate, hate in the words he spoke and sung as if they were vile, disgusting words. How he said that god gave him life and now he has taken it away. I was like why, why would he take it away, why would he bring so much sorrow upon us. why isn't he here comforting us. I didn't cry for the longest time until i saw my grandma and my cousin cry then the black tears streamed down my face. I couldn't stop, i couldn't help them nor could imagin what they were feeling. To lose a son before you, to lose a father before he had a chance to give u away. Nothing i could say could make it better. When the ceramony was over i walked as fast as i could to the car. I could not bear to watch or hear my grandma cry. For i have never heard her cry before but it felt like u your self wanted to die so u would not feel the the pain that came from it. We got into our cars and had the parade of death. Which probly gave onlookers morbide thoughts as we slowly rolled by. The drive to the cematary felt like it took forever. But when we got there it gave me nothing but bad memories. Knowing all the stones next to his was once love ones i knew along time ago. For even in death we stay together and become neborgers once again. When it was finally over and they lowed him in to the darkness my grandma broke into hystarical tears. she cried in spanish not my son not my little boy and i understoode every word. her cry cut into me like a knive feeling the tears flood my eyes again. after they lowered him in they sealed it with a gold stone cover that had his named ingraved so elabratly. it made him seem like a king from eygpt or somthing. Everyone took the flowers of near by and throw one in to the grave. when i got up there u could barly see any gold for flowers of all shapes and sizes covered it now. So i took the yellow rose in my had and brushed it against my tears and through it in and said good bye.