finally a way to express myself anonymously
society might consider me a sick person. a narcissist, codependent, obsessive, control freak, impulsive. some in the academic community have called me a genius. so perhaps i am a smart sicko. like many others, i don't know enough about myself.
i need this journal, for many reasons. there is so much that i want to express anonymously. i am completely obsessed with my boyfriend and, although its evident that he is similarly obsessed, i realize that this sort of obsession is considered unhealthy. i must hide my identity since i plan to reveal many manifestations of this obsession. also, i am a complete pervert. basically, i want to be able to reveal my secrets incognito. another plus to writing anonymously is that i plan to talk about my fitness goals and body image - yet another subject i would not discuss when my identity is clear.
...
Today my boyfriend and I got a strap-on, so I can penetrate him. I will be letting him penetrate me anally, so it is a fair trade off if you ask me. Not too much control for either of us. This has always been my deepest fantasy with him. Only recently have I revealed my urge. I was floored when he was agreeable.
Last year, I convinced him to get an Apadravya - a serious male genital piercing that stimulates my g-spot. When he finally agreed to that - I was sure that this was the wildest sexual taboo I would be able to convince him of.
I am often thinking that he is perfect for me - although "perfection" is tough to define as a concept.
So back to the anal sex. I do not want to receive anal sex myself. I am sure it will be all pain, and little pleasure. Yet even though I am an admitted control freak - I am trying to be fair. Surely, he will be much more comfortable letting me penetrate him with a dildo if I allow him to fuck me up the ass. Hmm, my language is getting a little rough, whoops.
...
While I am on the subject of our sex, I must say that I am amazed when he goes down on me. I was this guy's first date/kiss/girlfriend/etc., and yet he gives it to me like a pro. Admittedly, he was awful at it at first (we met 2 years ago)....still, I never expected this level of skill.
....
So I realize that I should not feel guilty about revealing these intimate details of my life. I need a way to express these things..and the identity of myself and those I write about is not likely to be revealed. Hopefully I won't develop a paranoia about being exposed.
I have much more to say but I must go study.
i need this journal, for many reasons. there is so much that i want to express anonymously. i am completely obsessed with my boyfriend and, although its evident that he is similarly obsessed, i realize that this sort of obsession is considered unhealthy. i must hide my identity since i plan to reveal many manifestations of this obsession. also, i am a complete pervert. basically, i want to be able to reveal my secrets incognito. another plus to writing anonymously is that i plan to talk about my fitness goals and body image - yet another subject i would not discuss when my identity is clear.
...
Today my boyfriend and I got a strap-on, so I can penetrate him. I will be letting him penetrate me anally, so it is a fair trade off if you ask me. Not too much control for either of us. This has always been my deepest fantasy with him. Only recently have I revealed my urge. I was floored when he was agreeable.
Last year, I convinced him to get an Apadravya - a serious male genital piercing that stimulates my g-spot. When he finally agreed to that - I was sure that this was the wildest sexual taboo I would be able to convince him of.
I am often thinking that he is perfect for me - although "perfection" is tough to define as a concept.
So back to the anal sex. I do not want to receive anal sex myself. I am sure it will be all pain, and little pleasure. Yet even though I am an admitted control freak - I am trying to be fair. Surely, he will be much more comfortable letting me penetrate him with a dildo if I allow him to fuck me up the ass. Hmm, my language is getting a little rough, whoops.
...
While I am on the subject of our sex, I must say that I am amazed when he goes down on me. I was this guy's first date/kiss/girlfriend/etc., and yet he gives it to me like a pro. Admittedly, he was awful at it at first (we met 2 years ago)....still, I never expected this level of skill.
....
So I realize that I should not feel guilty about revealing these intimate details of my life. I need a way to express these things..and the identity of myself and those I write about is not likely to be revealed. Hopefully I won't develop a paranoia about being exposed.
I have much more to say but I must go study.