The Shift
I don't understand. Maybe it's because I have less time, money, and interest in things like eating and sleeping, but I'm sensing a definite shift in my life. Personally and professionally. What I don't understand is how those around me are reacting to this change. I feel more at peace, but so many people around me seem to be sending me negative vibes. The good vibes from the people I care most about getting through to are only getting better, but I feel like my peers have a highly negative view of me. This would normally be very painful to me and I'd search so desperately for a way to make it better. But now is different. That I wall I put up isn't something of my own construction. And I feel so in touch with myself--so completely content with who I am, that I don't want to shift back for the comfort of others. I don't feel untalented. I do feel put down. I feel put down by people I trust. I feel avoided. I feel very busy. I feel like an outsider. I feel like the piece that doesn't quite fit. I used to relish in not conforming to the rest of the puzzle, but now I just feel like some puzzle pieces are just part of something else. I'm a puzzle piece, but that's not my purpose. I can fit in whatever puzzle I need to, but I'm only meant for certain pictures. And sometimes I'm the piece of the puzzle meant for a charm bracelet. Or a piece of art. Or I'm meant to be in an envelope. Maybe people look at the wrong side. The puzzle is on the other side. Why is it so wrong to be atypical?