A King and a Steward (2/2)
Title: A King and a Steward (2/2)
Authors: v-angelique and rainbowcobweb
Pairing: Sean/Viggo
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Not true.
Summary: Sean remembers New Zealand.
"Oh God, Viggo," Sean groaned, his hands gripping the upholstery entirely too hard as Viggo hadn't even let him put his hands on Viggo's hips. Lie back and relax, he'd reminded him. And Sean didn't give up control, didn't trust anyone enough to feel safe enough to give up control, except maybe his mum... but here he was, and just for a minute, it felt nice.
"Take what you need," Viggo said clearly, his hands on Sean's chest as he rode him faster, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Sean would never say this aloud, but in his head he declared that Viggo was completely, phenomenally beautiful, and he didn't mind thinking it at least.
"Just... Christ, don't stop," Sean muttered.
"No," Viggo agreed.
When Sean came, he hissed Viggo's name, and forgetting what he was supposed to be doing, forgetting that he was supposed to be comforting Sean, perhaps, Viggo suddenly grabbed his own cock, a feral look in his eye, and threw his head back as he jerked himself quickly, effectively, releasing with a growl over Sean's stomach. Somehow, unexpectedly, the selfish act of release, and his own body's position as a receptacle, the tinge of submission, made Sean's belly clench with a feeling he couldn't name. Deliverance, maybe. All coming full circle, it could be. But something about the sequence of events, the incredible generosity and then this, Viggo's need broadcast for him in living colour at an obscene, unholy, and beautiful angle, made his whole body run hot. He didn't think too hard about it. He didn't have to.
~*~
"Vig?" Sean clutched Ian's phone hard as he stood outside the restaurant, smoking. "You there?"
"Sean?" Viggo's drawl came down the phone, "is that you?"
"No," Sean said, "it's Pete. Of course it's me, arsewipe, who else d'you know that talks like this?"
"Well Dom does, a little..."
"Shut up. That's not the point. How are you, anyway?"
~*~
"This is really good," Sean mumbled around a big bite of fajita, washing it down with a swallow of the strong citrusy homemade "punch" Viggo had concocted in a "little of this, little of that," throw-it-all-in-the-pitcher style bout of experimentation.
Viggo laughed and rolled his eyes. "Thanks."
Sean would be leaving New Zealand in a week, and neither of them mentioned it, or the fact that they were alone in Viggo's house, comfortably sharing a rather fancy meal by candlelight. Well, to be fair, Viggo always lit candles, so it wasn't special by any stretch of the imagination, but Viggo's Wellington home was still lovely and smelled like pine and hand-rolled cigarettes, and it made Sean happy to kick off his shoes and stretch his legs out under the table and have another sip of punch.
~*~
"I'm...well, I'm all right, I guess," Viggo mumbled down the phone, but Viggo always mumbled. "I made a jar today."
"That's...great, Vig, really."
"Yeah. I melted my watering can and some pens to do it."
"Right."
"What did you want, anyway?"
~*~
"Hey, can you send me some maple syrup when you get to Toronto? Please?"
"Maple syrup?" Sean asked around another bite. "I suppose so. If they have it."
Viggo rolled his eyes. "Sean, they have it. It's Canada."
"Oh. Right. What do you want it for?"
"Pancakes. I miss pancakes and maple syrup."
~*~
"I dunno," Sean said with a sigh, taking a quick drag of his cigarette. "Just...I dunno."
"My jar's good," Viggo said, and Sean pictured him at home, turning the jar over in his hands. He wasn't quite sure what a jar made of melted pens and watering can would look like, but that was Viggo. "It's got cress in it. For salad."
"It sounds nice," Sean agreed, glad to just hear Viggo's voice, even if he was talking total shit.
"Yeah. I might make another. How hot does glass have to be to melt?"
~*~
"What's this scar?" Viggo asked, turning Sean's right hand over in both of his. They'd moved to the sofa after dinner and flan for dessert, and they weren't drunk but the alcohol was still pleasantly occupying Sean's bloodstream, relaxing him slightly.
"Got it when I was welding for my da," Sean explained. "Well not really for him... was supposed to be working, and I snuck in a project I was working on. I was trying to make a fancy iron wine rack, thought I could sell it to some posh sucker for a lot of money and have more drink money in my pocket. Ended up misjudging how close my hand was while I was doing the curlicues and burnt myself. I was more upset about dropping the thing while it was still hot, though. Completely ruined."
Viggo laughed and raised Sean's hand to his lips, kissing the raised white stripe of flesh. Their eyes met, and Viggo's were twinkling, but Sean didn't look away.
~*~
"I dunno, Vig," Sean said, "stick to plastic."
"All right," Viggo said, and he coughed. "I miss you, sometimes. I painted you the other day."
"You...you did?" Sean asked, genuinely surprised.
"Yeah. I like the picture. I used acrylics."
~*~
"Vig," Sean whispered against his lips.
"What?"
"Are we...?"
"We don't have to," Viggo murmured.
"No," Sean said too quickly. "I want to."
Viggo nodded and pressed forward.
~*~
"It sounds nice," Sean said, closing his eyes and leaning against the wall of the restaurant.
"Yeah. I still want to paint you, though."
Oh, shit.
~*~
"I'm not gay," Sean said after they'd bounced from wall to wall a few times in the direction of the bedroom, pinning each other and snogging desperately, losing an article of clothing or two before moving to the next spot of wall like a naughty game of Pong. Now they were in the doorframe of the bedroom and Sean's lips were mashed up against Viggo's as he said it. He immediately felt like a horrible person, but Viggo just laughed.
"I know. I don't like labels. Only when they're truly subjective."
"Vig. You're rambling again."
"Let me show you," Viggo purred, licking Sean's top lip.
~*~
"Right," Sean said, nodding. "Right."
"You're not happy, Sean."
Sean shook his head, agreeing.
"I know you're not."
~*~
"Like this," Viggo murmured when he had Sean fully naked and on his back. He came back to the bed with a long white feather and a little black pot, and Sean stared incredulously.
"You have ink and a quill?"
Viggo laughed. "I've gotten quite good at it."
"Will that come off?" Sean exclaimed in a high, panicky voice when Viggo touched the wet quill to his hipbone.
"I'll have to scrub you thoroughly," Viggo replied with a mischievous look before continuing his work.
~*~
"No," Sean finally said aloud, after about a pause of three minutes, which was not all that unusual when on the phone with Viggo, "no, no, I'm not."
"You need to smile more, Sean," Viggo said quietly, and Sean could hear a scratching in the background that sounded like pencils on paper. "Like my daisies."
"Well, what about you, Vig? Are you happy? Like your daisies?"
Again, silence, but a shorter one this time.
"I do my best."
~*~
"Subjective," Viggo repeated as he finished writing the word in calligraphy along the curve of the bone. "I don't like labels because they lump everyone into groups where they don't fit. Straight, gay... I'm not straight," he said as he wrote another word, and Sean sat up on his elbows and read upside down. Beautiful. Creative. "I'm not gay, either. But subjectively... I don't mind using words that apply directly to me. Or to you."
Sean watched as he wrote another word - Confusing.
"But this isn't subjective," he argued. "It's how you see me."
Viggo smiled and nodded, writing "stubborn" under Sean's right nipple. "Subjective from my perspective is more complimentary. I want to compliment you," he said softly, and Sean bit his lip before deciding not to respond.
Strong.
~*~
"That doesn't mean anything," Sean said, stubbing his cigarette out with his foot.
"Nothing means anything," Viggo replied, and Sean scoffed.
"Stop being so fucking cryptic."
~*~
"That's not true," Sean said as Viggo wrote "generous" on his hand.
"Why not?"
"I'm a shit husband, Vig, and a shit father, and I'm selfish and I fuck other women..."
"Whom you fuck doesn't have to do with generosity," Viggo said quietly as he wrote something on Sean's instep, holding it so he wouldn't jerk when it tickled, and Sean wondered off-handedly why he'd never asked Viggo about his own marriage.
"It does when it's you," Sean said, even more quietly, and Viggo looked up, startled, observing him for a long minute before going back up to write on Sean's other hip. Surprising.
~*~
"I want to see you," Viggo said suddenly, startling Sean.
"Really?"
"Why would I say it, otherwise?" Viggo asked, sighing. "Yes. I want to see you."
~*~
Once Viggo had exhausted his canvas, he tugged Sean up off the bed by both hands, so as not to smudge the ink, and led him into the bathroom. Viggo had a huge, full-length mirror on the wall opposite his sink, and another long mirror over the sink itself. Viggo led Sean to stand in front of the full-length one and then slipped in behind him, pressed between Sean and the counter. Resting his chin on Sean's shoulder, he watched Sean's eyes in the reflection as Sean read the words - backwards, but still beautiful in Viggo's flowing script.
"It's not... I mean this isn't..."
"It's you," Viggo said firmly, directly in his ear. "Half of you formed, sculpted, pre-determined," Viggo murmured, running his hands down Sean's sides from armpits to ankles and back up again, his naked body brushing Sean's as he slithered down and up. "Half your life."
"Vig... that's depressing."
"No," Viggo whispered, his lips brushing Sean's ear again. "Because here is the other half. A blank slate. Waiting to develop, waiting for the turns ahead... finishing the sentence, as it were," he murmured, pressing kisses all over the backs of Sean's shoulders and his neck, the hairline at his nape, the wings of his shoulder blades. Sean sighed and forced himself to watch.
~*~
"Oh," Sean said, biting his lip. "All right. Where? When?"
~*~
By the time Viggo had kissed every inch of the rear side of Sean's body, his knees felt slightly weak and he was trembling almost imperceptibly. Viggo crawled around to Sean's front and he looked down instinctively, but Viggo shook his head.
"No," he said. "Look at the other mirror. Only the other mirror."
Sean swallowed and nodded and looked up, ignoring his own temporarily tattooed body and Viggo's gently bobbing head with some effort to look instead at the reflection of the reflection, the back of his body from the waist up, naked and bare. He watched his own muscles clench and release as he reacted to Viggo's ministrations, and the endlessly repeating row of reflections in which he could just make out Viggo's long, loose hair and the steady rhythm of his head.
~*~
"It's good to see you," Sean said at the airport, meaning every word of it as Viggo swept him into his arms. Sean inhaled deeply, and Viggo grinned, squeezing Sean tighter.
"I missed you," Viggo whispered.
"I missed you too."
~*~
"Into the shower," Viggo demanded, his voice husky. Sean tore his eyes away from the mirror and looked down at Viggo, his lips moist and his position one of supplication but his eyes so fucking hungry. He didn't waste any time turning the taps to a temperature as hot as he could stand or stepping into the tub, Viggo right behind him. He watched almost mournfully as Viggo's words, Viggo's compliments, swirled down the drain, the water diluting their inky black to a dull grey.
Viggo turned him, a little roughly, and his feet slipped on the tub but it didn't matter because Viggo was catching him and pinning him against the tile wall, his lips hot and messy against Sean's as their erections rubbed together and Sean let out a hiss.
~*~
"This is nice," Sean said, his feet propped up on a stool as he sat on the deck outside the house that they'd rented for a couple of weeks just outside Wellington.
"It is," Viggo agreed, handing Sean a plate of food and a glass of wine. "Very nice. I wish I'd've brought my jar with me. The cress would go well with this."
~*~
"Viggo," Sean moaned, his voice echoing off the walls and resonating over the drum of the water. It was a nice name to moan, he thought as Viggo teased him with almost-kisses, drawing his lips away and forcing Sean to follow as he scrubbed down his chest and then knelt, out of reach, doing each of his legs. The moaning had been prompted specifically by Viggo's tongue on his bollocks, and after a moment he lost patience and dragged Viggo up by the biceps, kissing him fiercely, pressing their bodies together, begging silently for it to end and yet never stop, for catharsis and climax, explosion and gentle dénouement all in one. He knew Viggo was capable of delivering.
~*~
"You're insane," Sean said fondly, sipping his wine and then putting the glass down on the floor next to his chair.
"Ah, be that as it may," Viggo said around a mouthful of rice, "Many geniuses are mad."
~*~
The sounds Viggo made in that shower were among the most seductive Sean had ever heard in his life. He loved women. He loved fucking women. He loved the way they'd pretend they didn't want it, and he loved the passion and the sounds they made when they finally admitted that they did. And he'd had women who were more confident, who admitted that they were in it for the sex, and that was fun too. But none of them were like this, none quite so unrestrained. Viggo bucked and moaned and clawed at his back, and when shower sex standing up didn't work quite so safely as they had hoped, he laid himself out on his back in the tub, his head just past the falling water, and spread his legs and shouted when Sean pushed into him. He moved like an animal, or someone who didn't know what was right or what was proper, and Sean couldn't remember ever having wanted so bloody much, having craved it like this, having dreaded his orgasm because with it this would be over.
~*~
Sean snorted and shook his head, shovelling some more rice into his mouth. "Mental," he mumbled, "absolutely mental."
"You love it," Viggo retorted.
"Yeah, yeah," Sean said, although something twisted in his stomach.
~*~
"Fuck me," Viggo growled, something harsh in his eyes that threw Sean off a bit.
"I am fucking you."
"Fuck me harder," Viggo hissed, grabbing the back of Sean's neck and pushing up into him, shoving their lips together again. Of course they were men, and when they talked they didn't really say anything, at least not what needed to be said, but still it struck Sean how little he knew about Viggo. He decided not to focus on how much he was curious to find out.
~*~
"It's pretty," Sean said, motioning towards the sky with his fork, indicating the sunset. "You never get sunsets like that in England."
"No," Viggo agreed, and when Sean turned back Viggo was watching his face. "Nor anywhere, I wouldn't think," he added in a soft, introspective tone.
~*~
"More," Viggo hissed, pushing his hips up and writhing like a wild animal, scratching Sean's back hard enough he thought there might be welts even with Viggo's short fingernails. "More."
"I'm... I can't give you more," Sean replied, frustrated, ashamed that he couldn't satisfy Viggo, that he was fucking him as hard as he could and still couldn't be enough.
"Yes," Viggo hissed, reaching for him and whispering into his mouth just before he kissed him in a way that was surprisingly gentle, careful, unhurried, a slow passionate kiss that tingled in his belly and balls and got uncomfortably close to his heart. "You can."
~*~
Sean flushed, his entire face pinking, and he was glad he was able to write it off as the heat. "I miss the feeling we get here," he told his knees, "you know. The peace."
"I know, Viggo said, nodding, and he reached over and stroked the side of Sean's face. "I know."
~*~
"Viggo... I..."
"I know."
"But..."
"I know," he said more firmly, his hands sliding down Sean's slick back. "Kiss me."
"Yes."
~*~
"It hasn't changed," Sean said quietly, looking at the sky again. "Nothing changes here."
"Nothing?"
Sean turned his head slowly until he was looking at Viggo. "Nothing."
~*~
Shortly after he came, his lips pressed into Viggo's neck, Sean realised several things. One, the water was only lukewarm. Two, Viggo's come was washing over his thighs and down the drain, and his muscles were faintly shaking. And three, Sean was crying again. Who was it that said, "you can't go home again?" Sean already feared it would be true.
~*~
"Nothing?" Viggo repeated, and Sean sighed.
"I don't know, Vig," he said quietly, "I'm confused, and depressed, and I just don't know anymore."
~*~
"I love you," Sean mouthed against Viggo's neck, just before they untangled themselves and turned the taps off and began the awkward dance of towelling off and getting dressed and going back to being men. He didn't wipe his eyes, though. He would force himself to allow one vulnerability to show, when Viggo had already given him so many. Maybe that was a first step to generosity. He wasn't sure he knew anymore.
~*~
"Hey," Viggo said, extending his hand, caressing Sean's face with it. "Don't."
"What are we talking about?" Sean asked, looking up. "We're always talking around things, Vig. You're always talking around things. I can't handle it. I especially can't handle it when we're not even talking... just say what you mean, please. You're going to fix me now and then I'm going to go back to England, and I know it's my fault too but it'll just be worse..."
"Calm down," Viggo said, "do you...do you really want to talk about it? Or do you want to shag me and we'll go our separate ways and do it all again in a year or so?"
"Sometimes I really hate you, you know," Sean grumbled, though he instantly felt guilty when the words left his lips and he couldn't look at Viggo's face. "No, that's not what I want. But it's not entirely my fault."
"I know it's not," Viggo said, removing his hand. "It's just...I mean...We need to...I don't know."
"I'm so fucking frustrated," Sean grumbled, putting his elbows on his knees and running his hands over sleep-deprived eyes.
"I didn't mean to do this to you," Viggo said quietly.
"I know," Sean said, rubbing his temples. "It's not...I...fucking hell."
"I have missed you," Viggo admitted. "Deeply."
Sean looked up, his eyes weary. "I've missed you too."
"I didn't want to push you," Viggo said softly. "Or myself. Complacency is easy, I guess."
"I suppose," Sean said, sighing heavily. "What do you suggest we do, then?"
"Well, we could try to, you know, talk every once in a while," Viggo said, smiling a little. "I'd like... well I'd like a relationship with you, but I'll settle for less. Whatever you're willing to give. We don't have to tell anyone anything, Sean, I never wanted to anyway. This is ours, isn't it?" he asked, gesturing at the sunset with a broad gesture that presumably was meant to encompass all their surroundings and perhaps the entire country before reaching out and touching Sean's knee. "All of this."
"A relationship?" Sean asked, looking uncertain. "Vig, that's...I don't even know what I want...oh, fuck, just...kiss me."
Viggo didn't answer verbally but instead put his plate down on the decking next to Sean's and stood up from his chair, putting one knee next to Sean's hip in the chair and tangling his hands in Sean's hair, kissing him deeply and with no less passion than on any of those three memorable nights that seemed suddenly not so long ago after all.
Moaning, Sean held onto Viggo and kissed back, still letting Viggo lead. "Fucking good," he murmured, his eyes shut once they'd broken apart.
"I... God, Sean," Viggo gasped, tracing Sean's eyelids with his lips, and then his jaw. "I didn't think I'd have a chance to do this again."
Sean trembled and rested his hands on Viggo's waist, swallowing heavily. "I've never...I've never felt like this before."
"It's all right," Viggo said gently, touching his temple and brushing his hair back. "You know you can trust me, right?"
"I trust you," Sean said, nodding.
"Nothing you don't want then, all right? Nothing I don't want, either. Can we agree to that?"
Sean nodded again and tucked his face into Viggo's neck. "Yes," he said, kissing it, "yes."
"Good," Viggo said softly, scratching his fingernails over Sean's scalp. "May I tell you what I want?"
"Please," Sean said, "yeah, tell me."
Viggo smiled and shifted a little so that he could kiss Sean's forehead. "You."
Sean laughed quietly. "How?" he said, stroking Viggo's side, "how, though?"
Viggo grinned and pressed their foreheads together. "What do I always want? I want you to make love to me, Sean. I've craved it."
"Oh," Sean whispered into Viggo's mouth, holding onto his sides, "oh. All right."
"Is it?" Viggo asked. "If it's too much..."
"No," Sean said quickly, "no, it's...it's like...I don't know what it's like. It's new. And exciting."
Viggo grinned. "Perfect. Um, where do you want?"
"Bed," Sean whispered, "I think...yes. Bed."
Viggo smiled and got up off of Sean's lap, holding his hands out. "Not the couch? Or the shower?" he teased.
"Sod off," Sean grumbled, "I want to do it in bed."
"Fine with me," Viggo agreed, still smiling as he pressed their lips together. "C'mon, then."
Sean followed Viggo into the bedroom, shivering slightly, purely out of nerves. "I've never...I mean we've never...never done it like this before. Planned it."
"I know," Viggo replied, pulling Sean into his arms at the foot of the bed. "We don't have to do it right now. We can talk. I have no idea what you've been doing since we wrapped, you know."
"I'll tell you afterwards," Sean said, pushing Viggo backwards gently and climbing on top of him, "now, I just...I need..."
"Oh," Viggo murmured. "All right. Yeah. Do you want me to go... I mean would you rather..." Viggo sighed and laughed a little at his own incoherence. "There's lube in the bathroom," he explained. "I can go get ready and come back."
"I'd...I'd like to prep you," Sean said quietly. "If you don't mind."
"Oh," Viggo exclaimed. "No, no of course not... I just wanted to save you the trouble. I know you don't like putting your fingers up there," he teased. "Seeing as how I'm not a woman and all."
"Vig," Sean mumbled, embarrassed, "I was drunk. And, you know, confused."
Viggo grinned and nodded. "I know you were. I didn't think you liked it, though. Nothing you don't like, remember?"
"Yes," Sean said, kissing Viggo gently. "Could you...?"
"Could I...?"
"The lube," Sean said, coughing. "I need..."
"Oh, right." Viggo laughed and got up, tugging his shirt over his head as he went to the bathroom. When he came back he was shamelessly naked and carrying a discreet little tube.
"Oh," Sean said, licking his lips as he stared at Viggo. "Please."
Viggo smiled and tossed him the tube, climbing onto the bed. "Have at it."
"How do you want to be?" Sean asked, "on your front? Your back?"
"Is front okay? I'm kind of sore after the flight," Viggo admitted.
"It's fine," Sean said, flipping the top off the lube and squeezing some out onto his fingers, a look of intense concentration on his face.
"It's not rocket science," Viggo said, laughing as he flipped onto his stomach and drew his knees up underneath him, stretching his arms out in front so that Sean thought he looked a little like a Muslim praying. "You remember this part."
"Mmm," Sean agreed, sliding one finger inside Viggo's body, gasping, out of lust or shock, he wasn't sure, as he watched it disappear.
"Ah," Viggo sighed. "That's nice."
Sean bit his lip and curled his finger slightly, trying to remember what had made Viggo go insane last time.
"Oh yeah," Viggo groaned. "Harder, Sean, c'mon. Don't hesitate, Jesus - I want it."
Groaning without meaning to, Sean added a second finger and curled them both, hard.
"Fuck," Viggo rasped drily, his fingers pulling at the headboard so that his arms looked even skinnier. Sean wondered idly if he'd lost weight for a role, or had just been forgetting to eat.
"Oh," he gasped, squirting some more lube out of the tube and adding a third finger, thrusting back in quickly. "Fuck."
"God, Sean," Viggo stuttered, his muscles contracting and releasing to try to make more room. "Hurts."
"Fuck," Sean gabbled, withdrawing his fingers completely, "fuck, fuck, I didn't mean..."
"No, no," Viggo amended quickly, turning his head. "Just... observing, Sean, keep going, I'm sorry. It's all right. Hurt's not always bad, is it?"
Sean frowned and slid two fingers back in, scissoring them gently and gradually stretching Viggo wider.
"Yesss," Viggo moaned, having turned his head back so that his voice was slightly muffled against the pillow. "That's nice, Sean. Don't stop that."
All right," Sean whispered, bending down and brushing his lips over the back of Viggo's neck.
"Thank you," Viggo murmured, his back tensing. "Thank you so much."
Sean didn't say anything, and instead pressed his cheek against Viggo's shoulder blade, rubbing his face back and forth. Viggo let out a low encouraging noise in response, almost like a purr.
"Yeah," Sean mumbled, rubbing the tips of three fingers over Viggo's hole. "May I...?"
"Do it, yes," Viggo agreed hurriedly, shifting his weight a little and pushing his arse back.
"God," Sean groaned, pushing all three of his fingers in and curling them to distract Viggo from the burn.
Viggo just moaned incoherently in response, tugging with his fingers at the headboard. The sound was intimate, the kind of noise he himself would only make while masturbating, and he wanted to kiss Viggo for giving this to him, again and again, despite what a wanker he could be.
Bending down, Sean licked gently over the back of Viggo's neck in a random pattern, thrusting in and out with his fingers.
"Mm, yeah," Viggo encouraged. "Do you know how much I've thought of this?" he admitted. "Since you called me? God, I couldn't believe you were the one to do it, too. Always thought you were too stubborn."
"No," Sean said, nipping gently, "I just...I needed you. I didn't know it but I did. This...this is what I need."
"God," Viggo groaned. "Do you know how sexy it is to hear you say that? I'm going to paint you. Some time... I'm going to paint you and I'm going to try to show you how beautiful you are," he murmured almost feverishly, writhing about.
Sean just whimpered and stilled his fingers. "Vig. Please."
"Yes," Viggo agreed quickly, spreading his knees a bit further apart. "Go on, yes."
"Christ, thank you," Sean groaned, spreading some more lube over his cock and then pushing inside almost immediately, crying out.
Viggo yelped when he first was penetrated but then settled back into it, breathing in short, laboured gasps as he adjusted.
"Sorry," Sean mumbled, his thighs shaking, "sorry, Vig, I'm sorry..."
"Why are you apologising?"
"I...I'm hurting you, and I don't want.."
"Sean, Christ, you don't understand, do you? Good hurt. Remember that first time? Remember, when we were drunk off our asses and you slapped me? Remember how much I liked that?"
"Oh," Sean said, blushing again, "yes. I remember."
"I like having your cock up my ass, Sean. I don't mind if it hurts a little. Feels fucking good, all right?"
"Viggo," Sean hissed, blushing and thrusting once, gently, "that's so fucking dirty."
"Yeah," Viggo agreed, moaning and arching back. "Don't you like dirty? I like it."
"I do," Sean admitted, "it's just...you and oh, fuck. Tell me what you like."
"Like being fucked," Viggo growled. "Like it rough sometimes. Like kissing you, like feeling your mouth and your tongue on my body. Like your hands. Fucking love your hands, actually. You have such brilliant hands."
"Oh," Sean whispered, running his hands up and down Viggo's back gently. "That's...well...yes."
"Mmm," Viggo hummed. "So nice. Go deeper, Sean. I'm good."
Sean thrust in a little harder, grabbing hold of Viggo's hips and pulling him back. "Yeah. Oh, Christ."
"Fuck, yes," Viggo groaned, arching his back so that his head lifted from the pillows.
"Vig," Sean groaned, beginning to settle into a rhythm, "Vig, Vig..."
"Yes... oh God, Sean. Can't believe... still can't believe you're here. That we're here..."
"I know," Sean groaned, tucking his face into Viggo's neck again, pressing his mouth wetly to Viggo's skin, "God, I know."
"Stubborn bastard," Viggo muttered fondly. "Thank you. Really. Thank you."
Sean smiled and kept on fucking Viggo hard, but slowly, holding onto his hips and squeezing gently. "You're amazing."
"Not," Viggo murmured quietly.
"Shut up," Sean growled, thrusting hard with his hips once for emphasis. "You are."
"Oh!" Viggo gasped, scratching at the pillows. "Fucking... Christ, Sean. Please, again."
"Yeah," Sean grunted, repeating the movement, his fingers digging into Viggo's waist, "fuck, God, you're hot."
"Not," Viggo mumbled against his own arm, squirming a bit.
"Stop it," Sean growled again, smacking Viggo's arse hard. "You are."
"Fuck!" Viggo yelped. "Oh God, Sean... not a good way to deter me," he muttered.
"I'll just do it again until you remember it, then," Sean said, continuing to fuck Viggo.
"Sean, I'm not... you should know... I'm just not very self-celebrating, you know," he explained quietly, still pushing back into Sean's thrusts.
Sean just hummed and kissed Viggo's neck gently. "I'm not either. We can be odd and modest and not very self-celebrating together. It's fine."
Viggo looked back and smiled. "All right. I'd like that, yeah."
"Good," Sean said, breathing harder. "Going to come soon."
"Oh," Viggo murmured, pressing his cheek to his arm in embarrassment.
"Wh-what's the matter?" Sean stuttered, slowing his thrusts slightly.
"No, nothing," Viggo said quickly. "Want to feel you come. Just... not quite there yet, myself. Sorry."
"S'all right," Sean murmured, "I'll suck you off."
"Oh," Viggo gasped in surprise.
"Mmmm," Sean said, licking Viggo's neck. "God, you're pretty."
"Pretty?" Viggo squeaked indignantly, though he pressed his neck towards Sean's mouth a little to encourage him.
"Yes," Sean said, breathing hard once again. "Jesus. Close."
"Oh," Viggo murmured, clenching a little around Sean's cock.
"Jesus," Sean gasped, "Viggo, yeah, soon, soon..."
"Good," Viggo groaned. "Feels good."
Sean just whimpered and thrust harder, feeling his orgasm build steadily. "Vig, fuck..." he panted and then thrust forwards once more, his hips slamming into Viggo's arse, "fuck. Yes."
"Shit," Viggo muttered. "That's so hot."
Groaning, Sean finished and then collapsed on top of Viggo, his arms wrapped tightly around Viggo's torso. "Oh. Christ."
"Mmm," Viggo hummed. "Very nice. Much better than jerking off."
"Yeah," Sean agreed. "Better...better even than shagging girls."
Viggo was silent for a long minute, and then just reached back and squeezed Sean's thigh.
Smiling, Sean kissed Viggo's shoulder. "Come on. Can I...?"
"You want to suck me?" Viggo asked hopefully.
"Um," Sean mumbled, blushing, "yeah."
"God, Sean," Viggo muttered, pushing his hips into the mattress. "That's just... fucking hot."
Sean smiled, shy yet pleased with himself at the same time. "Uh. Turn over?"
Viggo grinned and flipped onto his back, reaching up and pulling Sean down for a long kiss, wrapping one leg around both of Sean's. "I don't think you have any idea how much you turn me on," he murmured against Sean's lips.
"I do," Sean protested, kissing Viggo gently. "You turn me on just as much."
"God, Sean," Viggo whispered. "Please."
"All right," Sean whispered, tapping his hands on Viggo's hip nervously and then moving down, whimpering when he saw Viggo's leaking erection. "Fucking Christ."
"You don't have to," Viggo said quickly, moving his hips a little to the side, away from Sean. "I don't want you to if it's not what you want," he said firmly, touching Sean's hair. "I'll jerk off, all right?"
Sean didn't answer, and wrapped his lips around Viggo's cock, looking up.
"Oh God!" Viggo shouted, reaching up to fist his hands in his own hair, his thighs tensing under Sean's hands.
Moaning, Sean bobbed his head a couple of times, surprised when his jaw started aching.
"Jesus Christ, Sean," Viggo babbled, his head back on the pillows and his eyes closed, his hands clenching the headboard again.
Pulling off for a moment, jerking Viggo's cock firmly, Sean caught his breath then sunk back down as far as he could.
"Fuck, yes," Viggo muttered, looking down at Sean. "You're fucking beautiful, God. Want to paint you hard and naked sometime... you look so fucking powerful."
Closing his eyes, Sean let Viggo's words surround him and continued to move his head, inexpertly, yes, but efficiently enough. "Almost, God, so hot..." Viggo continued, reaching out again and stroking the side of Sean's face with his thumb, his fingers sliding through Sean's hair behind his ear.
Sean panicked a little about the fact that Viggo was about to come down his throat, but then Viggo's hands were running all over his face and it really didn't matter any more, so he just sucked harder, thoroughly enjoying himself.
"Oh... oh... Sean... Sean," Viggo moaned as he came, obviously using great mental determination to keep his hips down on the bed and not jerk too much.
Swallowing as quickly as possible, pressing Viggo down against the bed with his hands, Sean groaned his way through Viggo's orgasm, this new feeling really not all that unpleasant.
"Sorry," Viggo whispered as soon as Sean pulled off, brushing his cheek. "Sorry, I meant to tell you to pull off before... sorry," he repeated with a frown.
"No," Sean said, scurrying up the bed, stroking Viggo's face, "no, I...I liked it."
"Oh. You... oh fucking... fuck, Sean," Viggo murmured, pressing his lips again Sean's. "That's so... God. You've broken me."
Sean's eyes widened and then he smiled suddenly, touching his and Viggo's foreheads together. "Good. Because I happen to love you, as well. I think."
"Oh fuck," Viggo gasped. "Fuck yes. Yes, yes, love you," he exclaimed, grinning and wrapping his arms around Sean's waist. "God, I haven't been happy in so long. It's nice."
"I know," Sean agreed, rubbing Viggo's knee. "Let's stay here. I like it here."
Viggo smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Our place."
"Ours," Sean agreed, nodding. "Yeah."
"Don't... don't go off and not talk to me again, all right?"
"All right," Sean said, "and you promise me to do the same?"
"Yeah," Viggo agreed, nodding his head. "I'd rather be angry and screaming at each other than all that silence. You can even throw things at me if you'd like. I've got a hard head. Ask Christine," he said with a grin.
"I don't want to," Sean said, pulling a face and kissing Viggo's forehead. "Love you."
"Mmm, love you too. Stubborn bastard," he added, snuggling into Sean's neck.
"Twat," Sean returned, cuffing the back of Viggo's head and then pulling him down onto the bed, bringing the covers up over the two of them.
"Mmm. Your twat."
"Yeah," Sean agreed, laughing, "my twat."
Authors: v-angelique and rainbowcobweb
Pairing: Sean/Viggo
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Not true.
Summary: Sean remembers New Zealand.
"Oh God, Viggo," Sean groaned, his hands gripping the upholstery entirely too hard as Viggo hadn't even let him put his hands on Viggo's hips. Lie back and relax, he'd reminded him. And Sean didn't give up control, didn't trust anyone enough to feel safe enough to give up control, except maybe his mum... but here he was, and just for a minute, it felt nice.
"Take what you need," Viggo said clearly, his hands on Sean's chest as he rode him faster, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Sean would never say this aloud, but in his head he declared that Viggo was completely, phenomenally beautiful, and he didn't mind thinking it at least.
"Just... Christ, don't stop," Sean muttered.
"No," Viggo agreed.
When Sean came, he hissed Viggo's name, and forgetting what he was supposed to be doing, forgetting that he was supposed to be comforting Sean, perhaps, Viggo suddenly grabbed his own cock, a feral look in his eye, and threw his head back as he jerked himself quickly, effectively, releasing with a growl over Sean's stomach. Somehow, unexpectedly, the selfish act of release, and his own body's position as a receptacle, the tinge of submission, made Sean's belly clench with a feeling he couldn't name. Deliverance, maybe. All coming full circle, it could be. But something about the sequence of events, the incredible generosity and then this, Viggo's need broadcast for him in living colour at an obscene, unholy, and beautiful angle, made his whole body run hot. He didn't think too hard about it. He didn't have to.
~*~
"Vig?" Sean clutched Ian's phone hard as he stood outside the restaurant, smoking. "You there?"
"Sean?" Viggo's drawl came down the phone, "is that you?"
"No," Sean said, "it's Pete. Of course it's me, arsewipe, who else d'you know that talks like this?"
"Well Dom does, a little..."
"Shut up. That's not the point. How are you, anyway?"
~*~
"This is really good," Sean mumbled around a big bite of fajita, washing it down with a swallow of the strong citrusy homemade "punch" Viggo had concocted in a "little of this, little of that," throw-it-all-in-the-pitcher style bout of experimentation.
Viggo laughed and rolled his eyes. "Thanks."
Sean would be leaving New Zealand in a week, and neither of them mentioned it, or the fact that they were alone in Viggo's house, comfortably sharing a rather fancy meal by candlelight. Well, to be fair, Viggo always lit candles, so it wasn't special by any stretch of the imagination, but Viggo's Wellington home was still lovely and smelled like pine and hand-rolled cigarettes, and it made Sean happy to kick off his shoes and stretch his legs out under the table and have another sip of punch.
~*~
"I'm...well, I'm all right, I guess," Viggo mumbled down the phone, but Viggo always mumbled. "I made a jar today."
"That's...great, Vig, really."
"Yeah. I melted my watering can and some pens to do it."
"Right."
"What did you want, anyway?"
~*~
"Hey, can you send me some maple syrup when you get to Toronto? Please?"
"Maple syrup?" Sean asked around another bite. "I suppose so. If they have it."
Viggo rolled his eyes. "Sean, they have it. It's Canada."
"Oh. Right. What do you want it for?"
"Pancakes. I miss pancakes and maple syrup."
~*~
"I dunno," Sean said with a sigh, taking a quick drag of his cigarette. "Just...I dunno."
"My jar's good," Viggo said, and Sean pictured him at home, turning the jar over in his hands. He wasn't quite sure what a jar made of melted pens and watering can would look like, but that was Viggo. "It's got cress in it. For salad."
"It sounds nice," Sean agreed, glad to just hear Viggo's voice, even if he was talking total shit.
"Yeah. I might make another. How hot does glass have to be to melt?"
~*~
"What's this scar?" Viggo asked, turning Sean's right hand over in both of his. They'd moved to the sofa after dinner and flan for dessert, and they weren't drunk but the alcohol was still pleasantly occupying Sean's bloodstream, relaxing him slightly.
"Got it when I was welding for my da," Sean explained. "Well not really for him... was supposed to be working, and I snuck in a project I was working on. I was trying to make a fancy iron wine rack, thought I could sell it to some posh sucker for a lot of money and have more drink money in my pocket. Ended up misjudging how close my hand was while I was doing the curlicues and burnt myself. I was more upset about dropping the thing while it was still hot, though. Completely ruined."
Viggo laughed and raised Sean's hand to his lips, kissing the raised white stripe of flesh. Their eyes met, and Viggo's were twinkling, but Sean didn't look away.
~*~
"I dunno, Vig," Sean said, "stick to plastic."
"All right," Viggo said, and he coughed. "I miss you, sometimes. I painted you the other day."
"You...you did?" Sean asked, genuinely surprised.
"Yeah. I like the picture. I used acrylics."
~*~
"Vig," Sean whispered against his lips.
"What?"
"Are we...?"
"We don't have to," Viggo murmured.
"No," Sean said too quickly. "I want to."
Viggo nodded and pressed forward.
~*~
"It sounds nice," Sean said, closing his eyes and leaning against the wall of the restaurant.
"Yeah. I still want to paint you, though."
Oh, shit.
~*~
"I'm not gay," Sean said after they'd bounced from wall to wall a few times in the direction of the bedroom, pinning each other and snogging desperately, losing an article of clothing or two before moving to the next spot of wall like a naughty game of Pong. Now they were in the doorframe of the bedroom and Sean's lips were mashed up against Viggo's as he said it. He immediately felt like a horrible person, but Viggo just laughed.
"I know. I don't like labels. Only when they're truly subjective."
"Vig. You're rambling again."
"Let me show you," Viggo purred, licking Sean's top lip.
~*~
"Right," Sean said, nodding. "Right."
"You're not happy, Sean."
Sean shook his head, agreeing.
"I know you're not."
~*~
"Like this," Viggo murmured when he had Sean fully naked and on his back. He came back to the bed with a long white feather and a little black pot, and Sean stared incredulously.
"You have ink and a quill?"
Viggo laughed. "I've gotten quite good at it."
"Will that come off?" Sean exclaimed in a high, panicky voice when Viggo touched the wet quill to his hipbone.
"I'll have to scrub you thoroughly," Viggo replied with a mischievous look before continuing his work.
~*~
"No," Sean finally said aloud, after about a pause of three minutes, which was not all that unusual when on the phone with Viggo, "no, no, I'm not."
"You need to smile more, Sean," Viggo said quietly, and Sean could hear a scratching in the background that sounded like pencils on paper. "Like my daisies."
"Well, what about you, Vig? Are you happy? Like your daisies?"
Again, silence, but a shorter one this time.
"I do my best."
~*~
"Subjective," Viggo repeated as he finished writing the word in calligraphy along the curve of the bone. "I don't like labels because they lump everyone into groups where they don't fit. Straight, gay... I'm not straight," he said as he wrote another word, and Sean sat up on his elbows and read upside down. Beautiful. Creative. "I'm not gay, either. But subjectively... I don't mind using words that apply directly to me. Or to you."
Sean watched as he wrote another word - Confusing.
"But this isn't subjective," he argued. "It's how you see me."
Viggo smiled and nodded, writing "stubborn" under Sean's right nipple. "Subjective from my perspective is more complimentary. I want to compliment you," he said softly, and Sean bit his lip before deciding not to respond.
Strong.
~*~
"That doesn't mean anything," Sean said, stubbing his cigarette out with his foot.
"Nothing means anything," Viggo replied, and Sean scoffed.
"Stop being so fucking cryptic."
~*~
"That's not true," Sean said as Viggo wrote "generous" on his hand.
"Why not?"
"I'm a shit husband, Vig, and a shit father, and I'm selfish and I fuck other women..."
"Whom you fuck doesn't have to do with generosity," Viggo said quietly as he wrote something on Sean's instep, holding it so he wouldn't jerk when it tickled, and Sean wondered off-handedly why he'd never asked Viggo about his own marriage.
"It does when it's you," Sean said, even more quietly, and Viggo looked up, startled, observing him for a long minute before going back up to write on Sean's other hip. Surprising.
~*~
"I want to see you," Viggo said suddenly, startling Sean.
"Really?"
"Why would I say it, otherwise?" Viggo asked, sighing. "Yes. I want to see you."
~*~
Once Viggo had exhausted his canvas, he tugged Sean up off the bed by both hands, so as not to smudge the ink, and led him into the bathroom. Viggo had a huge, full-length mirror on the wall opposite his sink, and another long mirror over the sink itself. Viggo led Sean to stand in front of the full-length one and then slipped in behind him, pressed between Sean and the counter. Resting his chin on Sean's shoulder, he watched Sean's eyes in the reflection as Sean read the words - backwards, but still beautiful in Viggo's flowing script.
"It's not... I mean this isn't..."
"It's you," Viggo said firmly, directly in his ear. "Half of you formed, sculpted, pre-determined," Viggo murmured, running his hands down Sean's sides from armpits to ankles and back up again, his naked body brushing Sean's as he slithered down and up. "Half your life."
"Vig... that's depressing."
"No," Viggo whispered, his lips brushing Sean's ear again. "Because here is the other half. A blank slate. Waiting to develop, waiting for the turns ahead... finishing the sentence, as it were," he murmured, pressing kisses all over the backs of Sean's shoulders and his neck, the hairline at his nape, the wings of his shoulder blades. Sean sighed and forced himself to watch.
~*~
"Oh," Sean said, biting his lip. "All right. Where? When?"
~*~
By the time Viggo had kissed every inch of the rear side of Sean's body, his knees felt slightly weak and he was trembling almost imperceptibly. Viggo crawled around to Sean's front and he looked down instinctively, but Viggo shook his head.
"No," he said. "Look at the other mirror. Only the other mirror."
Sean swallowed and nodded and looked up, ignoring his own temporarily tattooed body and Viggo's gently bobbing head with some effort to look instead at the reflection of the reflection, the back of his body from the waist up, naked and bare. He watched his own muscles clench and release as he reacted to Viggo's ministrations, and the endlessly repeating row of reflections in which he could just make out Viggo's long, loose hair and the steady rhythm of his head.
~*~
"It's good to see you," Sean said at the airport, meaning every word of it as Viggo swept him into his arms. Sean inhaled deeply, and Viggo grinned, squeezing Sean tighter.
"I missed you," Viggo whispered.
"I missed you too."
~*~
"Into the shower," Viggo demanded, his voice husky. Sean tore his eyes away from the mirror and looked down at Viggo, his lips moist and his position one of supplication but his eyes so fucking hungry. He didn't waste any time turning the taps to a temperature as hot as he could stand or stepping into the tub, Viggo right behind him. He watched almost mournfully as Viggo's words, Viggo's compliments, swirled down the drain, the water diluting their inky black to a dull grey.
Viggo turned him, a little roughly, and his feet slipped on the tub but it didn't matter because Viggo was catching him and pinning him against the tile wall, his lips hot and messy against Sean's as their erections rubbed together and Sean let out a hiss.
~*~
"This is nice," Sean said, his feet propped up on a stool as he sat on the deck outside the house that they'd rented for a couple of weeks just outside Wellington.
"It is," Viggo agreed, handing Sean a plate of food and a glass of wine. "Very nice. I wish I'd've brought my jar with me. The cress would go well with this."
~*~
"Viggo," Sean moaned, his voice echoing off the walls and resonating over the drum of the water. It was a nice name to moan, he thought as Viggo teased him with almost-kisses, drawing his lips away and forcing Sean to follow as he scrubbed down his chest and then knelt, out of reach, doing each of his legs. The moaning had been prompted specifically by Viggo's tongue on his bollocks, and after a moment he lost patience and dragged Viggo up by the biceps, kissing him fiercely, pressing their bodies together, begging silently for it to end and yet never stop, for catharsis and climax, explosion and gentle dénouement all in one. He knew Viggo was capable of delivering.
~*~
"You're insane," Sean said fondly, sipping his wine and then putting the glass down on the floor next to his chair.
"Ah, be that as it may," Viggo said around a mouthful of rice, "Many geniuses are mad."
~*~
The sounds Viggo made in that shower were among the most seductive Sean had ever heard in his life. He loved women. He loved fucking women. He loved the way they'd pretend they didn't want it, and he loved the passion and the sounds they made when they finally admitted that they did. And he'd had women who were more confident, who admitted that they were in it for the sex, and that was fun too. But none of them were like this, none quite so unrestrained. Viggo bucked and moaned and clawed at his back, and when shower sex standing up didn't work quite so safely as they had hoped, he laid himself out on his back in the tub, his head just past the falling water, and spread his legs and shouted when Sean pushed into him. He moved like an animal, or someone who didn't know what was right or what was proper, and Sean couldn't remember ever having wanted so bloody much, having craved it like this, having dreaded his orgasm because with it this would be over.
~*~
Sean snorted and shook his head, shovelling some more rice into his mouth. "Mental," he mumbled, "absolutely mental."
"You love it," Viggo retorted.
"Yeah, yeah," Sean said, although something twisted in his stomach.
~*~
"Fuck me," Viggo growled, something harsh in his eyes that threw Sean off a bit.
"I am fucking you."
"Fuck me harder," Viggo hissed, grabbing the back of Sean's neck and pushing up into him, shoving their lips together again. Of course they were men, and when they talked they didn't really say anything, at least not what needed to be said, but still it struck Sean how little he knew about Viggo. He decided not to focus on how much he was curious to find out.
~*~
"It's pretty," Sean said, motioning towards the sky with his fork, indicating the sunset. "You never get sunsets like that in England."
"No," Viggo agreed, and when Sean turned back Viggo was watching his face. "Nor anywhere, I wouldn't think," he added in a soft, introspective tone.
~*~
"More," Viggo hissed, pushing his hips up and writhing like a wild animal, scratching Sean's back hard enough he thought there might be welts even with Viggo's short fingernails. "More."
"I'm... I can't give you more," Sean replied, frustrated, ashamed that he couldn't satisfy Viggo, that he was fucking him as hard as he could and still couldn't be enough.
"Yes," Viggo hissed, reaching for him and whispering into his mouth just before he kissed him in a way that was surprisingly gentle, careful, unhurried, a slow passionate kiss that tingled in his belly and balls and got uncomfortably close to his heart. "You can."
~*~
Sean flushed, his entire face pinking, and he was glad he was able to write it off as the heat. "I miss the feeling we get here," he told his knees, "you know. The peace."
"I know, Viggo said, nodding, and he reached over and stroked the side of Sean's face. "I know."
~*~
"Viggo... I..."
"I know."
"But..."
"I know," he said more firmly, his hands sliding down Sean's slick back. "Kiss me."
"Yes."
~*~
"It hasn't changed," Sean said quietly, looking at the sky again. "Nothing changes here."
"Nothing?"
Sean turned his head slowly until he was looking at Viggo. "Nothing."
~*~
Shortly after he came, his lips pressed into Viggo's neck, Sean realised several things. One, the water was only lukewarm. Two, Viggo's come was washing over his thighs and down the drain, and his muscles were faintly shaking. And three, Sean was crying again. Who was it that said, "you can't go home again?" Sean already feared it would be true.
~*~
"Nothing?" Viggo repeated, and Sean sighed.
"I don't know, Vig," he said quietly, "I'm confused, and depressed, and I just don't know anymore."
~*~
"I love you," Sean mouthed against Viggo's neck, just before they untangled themselves and turned the taps off and began the awkward dance of towelling off and getting dressed and going back to being men. He didn't wipe his eyes, though. He would force himself to allow one vulnerability to show, when Viggo had already given him so many. Maybe that was a first step to generosity. He wasn't sure he knew anymore.
~*~
"Hey," Viggo said, extending his hand, caressing Sean's face with it. "Don't."
"What are we talking about?" Sean asked, looking up. "We're always talking around things, Vig. You're always talking around things. I can't handle it. I especially can't handle it when we're not even talking... just say what you mean, please. You're going to fix me now and then I'm going to go back to England, and I know it's my fault too but it'll just be worse..."
"Calm down," Viggo said, "do you...do you really want to talk about it? Or do you want to shag me and we'll go our separate ways and do it all again in a year or so?"
"Sometimes I really hate you, you know," Sean grumbled, though he instantly felt guilty when the words left his lips and he couldn't look at Viggo's face. "No, that's not what I want. But it's not entirely my fault."
"I know it's not," Viggo said, removing his hand. "It's just...I mean...We need to...I don't know."
"I'm so fucking frustrated," Sean grumbled, putting his elbows on his knees and running his hands over sleep-deprived eyes.
"I didn't mean to do this to you," Viggo said quietly.
"I know," Sean said, rubbing his temples. "It's not...I...fucking hell."
"I have missed you," Viggo admitted. "Deeply."
Sean looked up, his eyes weary. "I've missed you too."
"I didn't want to push you," Viggo said softly. "Or myself. Complacency is easy, I guess."
"I suppose," Sean said, sighing heavily. "What do you suggest we do, then?"
"Well, we could try to, you know, talk every once in a while," Viggo said, smiling a little. "I'd like... well I'd like a relationship with you, but I'll settle for less. Whatever you're willing to give. We don't have to tell anyone anything, Sean, I never wanted to anyway. This is ours, isn't it?" he asked, gesturing at the sunset with a broad gesture that presumably was meant to encompass all their surroundings and perhaps the entire country before reaching out and touching Sean's knee. "All of this."
"A relationship?" Sean asked, looking uncertain. "Vig, that's...I don't even know what I want...oh, fuck, just...kiss me."
Viggo didn't answer verbally but instead put his plate down on the decking next to Sean's and stood up from his chair, putting one knee next to Sean's hip in the chair and tangling his hands in Sean's hair, kissing him deeply and with no less passion than on any of those three memorable nights that seemed suddenly not so long ago after all.
Moaning, Sean held onto Viggo and kissed back, still letting Viggo lead. "Fucking good," he murmured, his eyes shut once they'd broken apart.
"I... God, Sean," Viggo gasped, tracing Sean's eyelids with his lips, and then his jaw. "I didn't think I'd have a chance to do this again."
Sean trembled and rested his hands on Viggo's waist, swallowing heavily. "I've never...I've never felt like this before."
"It's all right," Viggo said gently, touching his temple and brushing his hair back. "You know you can trust me, right?"
"I trust you," Sean said, nodding.
"Nothing you don't want then, all right? Nothing I don't want, either. Can we agree to that?"
Sean nodded again and tucked his face into Viggo's neck. "Yes," he said, kissing it, "yes."
"Good," Viggo said softly, scratching his fingernails over Sean's scalp. "May I tell you what I want?"
"Please," Sean said, "yeah, tell me."
Viggo smiled and shifted a little so that he could kiss Sean's forehead. "You."
Sean laughed quietly. "How?" he said, stroking Viggo's side, "how, though?"
Viggo grinned and pressed their foreheads together. "What do I always want? I want you to make love to me, Sean. I've craved it."
"Oh," Sean whispered into Viggo's mouth, holding onto his sides, "oh. All right."
"Is it?" Viggo asked. "If it's too much..."
"No," Sean said quickly, "no, it's...it's like...I don't know what it's like. It's new. And exciting."
Viggo grinned. "Perfect. Um, where do you want?"
"Bed," Sean whispered, "I think...yes. Bed."
Viggo smiled and got up off of Sean's lap, holding his hands out. "Not the couch? Or the shower?" he teased.
"Sod off," Sean grumbled, "I want to do it in bed."
"Fine with me," Viggo agreed, still smiling as he pressed their lips together. "C'mon, then."
Sean followed Viggo into the bedroom, shivering slightly, purely out of nerves. "I've never...I mean we've never...never done it like this before. Planned it."
"I know," Viggo replied, pulling Sean into his arms at the foot of the bed. "We don't have to do it right now. We can talk. I have no idea what you've been doing since we wrapped, you know."
"I'll tell you afterwards," Sean said, pushing Viggo backwards gently and climbing on top of him, "now, I just...I need..."
"Oh," Viggo murmured. "All right. Yeah. Do you want me to go... I mean would you rather..." Viggo sighed and laughed a little at his own incoherence. "There's lube in the bathroom," he explained. "I can go get ready and come back."
"I'd...I'd like to prep you," Sean said quietly. "If you don't mind."
"Oh," Viggo exclaimed. "No, no of course not... I just wanted to save you the trouble. I know you don't like putting your fingers up there," he teased. "Seeing as how I'm not a woman and all."
"Vig," Sean mumbled, embarrassed, "I was drunk. And, you know, confused."
Viggo grinned and nodded. "I know you were. I didn't think you liked it, though. Nothing you don't like, remember?"
"Yes," Sean said, kissing Viggo gently. "Could you...?"
"Could I...?"
"The lube," Sean said, coughing. "I need..."
"Oh, right." Viggo laughed and got up, tugging his shirt over his head as he went to the bathroom. When he came back he was shamelessly naked and carrying a discreet little tube.
"Oh," Sean said, licking his lips as he stared at Viggo. "Please."
Viggo smiled and tossed him the tube, climbing onto the bed. "Have at it."
"How do you want to be?" Sean asked, "on your front? Your back?"
"Is front okay? I'm kind of sore after the flight," Viggo admitted.
"It's fine," Sean said, flipping the top off the lube and squeezing some out onto his fingers, a look of intense concentration on his face.
"It's not rocket science," Viggo said, laughing as he flipped onto his stomach and drew his knees up underneath him, stretching his arms out in front so that Sean thought he looked a little like a Muslim praying. "You remember this part."
"Mmm," Sean agreed, sliding one finger inside Viggo's body, gasping, out of lust or shock, he wasn't sure, as he watched it disappear.
"Ah," Viggo sighed. "That's nice."
Sean bit his lip and curled his finger slightly, trying to remember what had made Viggo go insane last time.
"Oh yeah," Viggo groaned. "Harder, Sean, c'mon. Don't hesitate, Jesus - I want it."
Groaning without meaning to, Sean added a second finger and curled them both, hard.
"Fuck," Viggo rasped drily, his fingers pulling at the headboard so that his arms looked even skinnier. Sean wondered idly if he'd lost weight for a role, or had just been forgetting to eat.
"Oh," he gasped, squirting some more lube out of the tube and adding a third finger, thrusting back in quickly. "Fuck."
"God, Sean," Viggo stuttered, his muscles contracting and releasing to try to make more room. "Hurts."
"Fuck," Sean gabbled, withdrawing his fingers completely, "fuck, fuck, I didn't mean..."
"No, no," Viggo amended quickly, turning his head. "Just... observing, Sean, keep going, I'm sorry. It's all right. Hurt's not always bad, is it?"
Sean frowned and slid two fingers back in, scissoring them gently and gradually stretching Viggo wider.
"Yesss," Viggo moaned, having turned his head back so that his voice was slightly muffled against the pillow. "That's nice, Sean. Don't stop that."
All right," Sean whispered, bending down and brushing his lips over the back of Viggo's neck.
"Thank you," Viggo murmured, his back tensing. "Thank you so much."
Sean didn't say anything, and instead pressed his cheek against Viggo's shoulder blade, rubbing his face back and forth. Viggo let out a low encouraging noise in response, almost like a purr.
"Yeah," Sean mumbled, rubbing the tips of three fingers over Viggo's hole. "May I...?"
"Do it, yes," Viggo agreed hurriedly, shifting his weight a little and pushing his arse back.
"God," Sean groaned, pushing all three of his fingers in and curling them to distract Viggo from the burn.
Viggo just moaned incoherently in response, tugging with his fingers at the headboard. The sound was intimate, the kind of noise he himself would only make while masturbating, and he wanted to kiss Viggo for giving this to him, again and again, despite what a wanker he could be.
Bending down, Sean licked gently over the back of Viggo's neck in a random pattern, thrusting in and out with his fingers.
"Mm, yeah," Viggo encouraged. "Do you know how much I've thought of this?" he admitted. "Since you called me? God, I couldn't believe you were the one to do it, too. Always thought you were too stubborn."
"No," Sean said, nipping gently, "I just...I needed you. I didn't know it but I did. This...this is what I need."
"God," Viggo groaned. "Do you know how sexy it is to hear you say that? I'm going to paint you. Some time... I'm going to paint you and I'm going to try to show you how beautiful you are," he murmured almost feverishly, writhing about.
Sean just whimpered and stilled his fingers. "Vig. Please."
"Yes," Viggo agreed quickly, spreading his knees a bit further apart. "Go on, yes."
"Christ, thank you," Sean groaned, spreading some more lube over his cock and then pushing inside almost immediately, crying out.
Viggo yelped when he first was penetrated but then settled back into it, breathing in short, laboured gasps as he adjusted.
"Sorry," Sean mumbled, his thighs shaking, "sorry, Vig, I'm sorry..."
"Why are you apologising?"
"I...I'm hurting you, and I don't want.."
"Sean, Christ, you don't understand, do you? Good hurt. Remember that first time? Remember, when we were drunk off our asses and you slapped me? Remember how much I liked that?"
"Oh," Sean said, blushing again, "yes. I remember."
"I like having your cock up my ass, Sean. I don't mind if it hurts a little. Feels fucking good, all right?"
"Viggo," Sean hissed, blushing and thrusting once, gently, "that's so fucking dirty."
"Yeah," Viggo agreed, moaning and arching back. "Don't you like dirty? I like it."
"I do," Sean admitted, "it's just...you and oh, fuck. Tell me what you like."
"Like being fucked," Viggo growled. "Like it rough sometimes. Like kissing you, like feeling your mouth and your tongue on my body. Like your hands. Fucking love your hands, actually. You have such brilliant hands."
"Oh," Sean whispered, running his hands up and down Viggo's back gently. "That's...well...yes."
"Mmm," Viggo hummed. "So nice. Go deeper, Sean. I'm good."
Sean thrust in a little harder, grabbing hold of Viggo's hips and pulling him back. "Yeah. Oh, Christ."
"Fuck, yes," Viggo groaned, arching his back so that his head lifted from the pillows.
"Vig," Sean groaned, beginning to settle into a rhythm, "Vig, Vig..."
"Yes... oh God, Sean. Can't believe... still can't believe you're here. That we're here..."
"I know," Sean groaned, tucking his face into Viggo's neck again, pressing his mouth wetly to Viggo's skin, "God, I know."
"Stubborn bastard," Viggo muttered fondly. "Thank you. Really. Thank you."
Sean smiled and kept on fucking Viggo hard, but slowly, holding onto his hips and squeezing gently. "You're amazing."
"Not," Viggo murmured quietly.
"Shut up," Sean growled, thrusting hard with his hips once for emphasis. "You are."
"Oh!" Viggo gasped, scratching at the pillows. "Fucking... Christ, Sean. Please, again."
"Yeah," Sean grunted, repeating the movement, his fingers digging into Viggo's waist, "fuck, God, you're hot."
"Not," Viggo mumbled against his own arm, squirming a bit.
"Stop it," Sean growled again, smacking Viggo's arse hard. "You are."
"Fuck!" Viggo yelped. "Oh God, Sean... not a good way to deter me," he muttered.
"I'll just do it again until you remember it, then," Sean said, continuing to fuck Viggo.
"Sean, I'm not... you should know... I'm just not very self-celebrating, you know," he explained quietly, still pushing back into Sean's thrusts.
Sean just hummed and kissed Viggo's neck gently. "I'm not either. We can be odd and modest and not very self-celebrating together. It's fine."
Viggo looked back and smiled. "All right. I'd like that, yeah."
"Good," Sean said, breathing harder. "Going to come soon."
"Oh," Viggo murmured, pressing his cheek to his arm in embarrassment.
"Wh-what's the matter?" Sean stuttered, slowing his thrusts slightly.
"No, nothing," Viggo said quickly. "Want to feel you come. Just... not quite there yet, myself. Sorry."
"S'all right," Sean murmured, "I'll suck you off."
"Oh," Viggo gasped in surprise.
"Mmmm," Sean said, licking Viggo's neck. "God, you're pretty."
"Pretty?" Viggo squeaked indignantly, though he pressed his neck towards Sean's mouth a little to encourage him.
"Yes," Sean said, breathing hard once again. "Jesus. Close."
"Oh," Viggo murmured, clenching a little around Sean's cock.
"Jesus," Sean gasped, "Viggo, yeah, soon, soon..."
"Good," Viggo groaned. "Feels good."
Sean just whimpered and thrust harder, feeling his orgasm build steadily. "Vig, fuck..." he panted and then thrust forwards once more, his hips slamming into Viggo's arse, "fuck. Yes."
"Shit," Viggo muttered. "That's so hot."
Groaning, Sean finished and then collapsed on top of Viggo, his arms wrapped tightly around Viggo's torso. "Oh. Christ."
"Mmm," Viggo hummed. "Very nice. Much better than jerking off."
"Yeah," Sean agreed. "Better...better even than shagging girls."
Viggo was silent for a long minute, and then just reached back and squeezed Sean's thigh.
Smiling, Sean kissed Viggo's shoulder. "Come on. Can I...?"
"You want to suck me?" Viggo asked hopefully.
"Um," Sean mumbled, blushing, "yeah."
"God, Sean," Viggo muttered, pushing his hips into the mattress. "That's just... fucking hot."
Sean smiled, shy yet pleased with himself at the same time. "Uh. Turn over?"
Viggo grinned and flipped onto his back, reaching up and pulling Sean down for a long kiss, wrapping one leg around both of Sean's. "I don't think you have any idea how much you turn me on," he murmured against Sean's lips.
"I do," Sean protested, kissing Viggo gently. "You turn me on just as much."
"God, Sean," Viggo whispered. "Please."
"All right," Sean whispered, tapping his hands on Viggo's hip nervously and then moving down, whimpering when he saw Viggo's leaking erection. "Fucking Christ."
"You don't have to," Viggo said quickly, moving his hips a little to the side, away from Sean. "I don't want you to if it's not what you want," he said firmly, touching Sean's hair. "I'll jerk off, all right?"
Sean didn't answer, and wrapped his lips around Viggo's cock, looking up.
"Oh God!" Viggo shouted, reaching up to fist his hands in his own hair, his thighs tensing under Sean's hands.
Moaning, Sean bobbed his head a couple of times, surprised when his jaw started aching.
"Jesus Christ, Sean," Viggo babbled, his head back on the pillows and his eyes closed, his hands clenching the headboard again.
Pulling off for a moment, jerking Viggo's cock firmly, Sean caught his breath then sunk back down as far as he could.
"Fuck, yes," Viggo muttered, looking down at Sean. "You're fucking beautiful, God. Want to paint you hard and naked sometime... you look so fucking powerful."
Closing his eyes, Sean let Viggo's words surround him and continued to move his head, inexpertly, yes, but efficiently enough. "Almost, God, so hot..." Viggo continued, reaching out again and stroking the side of Sean's face with his thumb, his fingers sliding through Sean's hair behind his ear.
Sean panicked a little about the fact that Viggo was about to come down his throat, but then Viggo's hands were running all over his face and it really didn't matter any more, so he just sucked harder, thoroughly enjoying himself.
"Oh... oh... Sean... Sean," Viggo moaned as he came, obviously using great mental determination to keep his hips down on the bed and not jerk too much.
Swallowing as quickly as possible, pressing Viggo down against the bed with his hands, Sean groaned his way through Viggo's orgasm, this new feeling really not all that unpleasant.
"Sorry," Viggo whispered as soon as Sean pulled off, brushing his cheek. "Sorry, I meant to tell you to pull off before... sorry," he repeated with a frown.
"No," Sean said, scurrying up the bed, stroking Viggo's face, "no, I...I liked it."
"Oh. You... oh fucking... fuck, Sean," Viggo murmured, pressing his lips again Sean's. "That's so... God. You've broken me."
Sean's eyes widened and then he smiled suddenly, touching his and Viggo's foreheads together. "Good. Because I happen to love you, as well. I think."
"Oh fuck," Viggo gasped. "Fuck yes. Yes, yes, love you," he exclaimed, grinning and wrapping his arms around Sean's waist. "God, I haven't been happy in so long. It's nice."
"I know," Sean agreed, rubbing Viggo's knee. "Let's stay here. I like it here."
Viggo smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Our place."
"Ours," Sean agreed, nodding. "Yeah."
"Don't... don't go off and not talk to me again, all right?"
"All right," Sean said, "and you promise me to do the same?"
"Yeah," Viggo agreed, nodding his head. "I'd rather be angry and screaming at each other than all that silence. You can even throw things at me if you'd like. I've got a hard head. Ask Christine," he said with a grin.
"I don't want to," Sean said, pulling a face and kissing Viggo's forehead. "Love you."
"Mmm, love you too. Stubborn bastard," he added, snuggling into Sean's neck.
"Twat," Sean returned, cuffing the back of Viggo's head and then pulling him down onto the bed, bringing the covers up over the two of them.
"Mmm. Your twat."
"Yeah," Sean agreed, laughing, "my twat."