Luckiest Dog in the World, Chapter 30
I know that it had been WAY too long since Sidi updated his life story. My apologies for being lax in the Celebrity Pet Psychic Biographer business. With your kind indulgence I offer
The Luckiest Dog in the World - Chapter 30
TITLE: Missing Dog
AUTHOR: Pecos - PecosPhil@sprintmail.com
WEBSITE: http://www.chimerafic.com
RATING: PG - adult language, innuendo
FEEDBACK: remember the golden rule, (please!)
SUMMARY: Sidi tells his story
DISCLAIMER: I don’t make the toys, I’m
only playing with them. No money made,
nor disrespect intended
NOTE: Please forgive any intentional or
unintentional abuse of facts and history
Missing Dog
I am saying hello to all of the Nice People! Are things Good with your Pack? Have you got Food and a warm place to sleep? Does someone scratch you when you itch? Life is Good, right?
My name is Sidi, and I am a Black Alpha Dog. I’ve got a curly-up tail and long toenails and a leather collar with tags that jingle and my Alpha Male Human is named Orlando. Maybe you remember all of that, because this isn’t the first time that I’ve told stories about my life. If you remember about me then Hello again! If you don’t remember then Hello for the first time! I’m going to tell you about my Life, because I am the Luckiest Dog in the World.
My Alpha doesn’t have a permanent Den, so we live all over the World. We live in Hotel places and strange places and little bitty moving places. Sometimes we live in other people’s Dens. My Alpha says that he lives in a suitcase, but I think he’s confused about that. I have a suitcase for my Toys and my Bowl and my Blankie and other Important Stuff, but I don’t think you could ever get my Alpha inside there even with some magic. He’s a Big Powerful Alpha Male and they need lots of Room.
Maybe I could fit inside a suitcase. But I don’t think I would like it living in there.
I like living with My Second Alpha Viggo the best of all the places we live.
Viggo has a Crazy Den, with lots and lots of Stuff in it and a Puppy named Fur-me and some Cats! that come in from Outside and try to Eat my Food! All sorts of People come to the Crazy Den and it’s always Great to be there. You would like it too! There’s a couch that smells like Dogs more than People Butt. There’s always Food being spilled and nobody cares if you’re shedding. It’s the Best Place in all of Lost Angeles.
My Alpha makes Playing with his Friends. He calls this acting. His Friends are lots of Males and some Females and they treat my Alpha like he is the Boss of all of them. So he is very Dominant, even though he never seems to make other People be Submissive. One of his Friends is Johnny with the Quick Fingers. Johnny knows how to do Tricks!
One of Johnny’s Best Tricks is Making the Toy disappear. I didn’t like this Trick at first, but now I know that he always makes the Toy come back again, so I don’t mind so much. Sometimes I even let him have my Favorite Toy to do his Trick with.
There are also Friends of my Alpha called Hobbits, and I like them a Lot! If you know all of these People too then you know why I like them! You could probably Smell Me on their clothes and stuff, because I’ve been shedding a Lot lately. I get itchy and my hairs fall out and stick to stuff. My Alpha brushes me and gets other People to brush me, but I just keep making new hairs. I must be very good at making hairs.
So, anyhow, I’m telling you all of this from my memory, which is the Stuff that happened before. Usually the stuff that happened before doesn’t matter very much, but this time it does because some other stuff happened that I’m going to tell you about now.
It wasn’t very long ago at all that my Alpha Male was gone for a few days. I was staying with Fixes-Things Guy while my Alpha was doing the acting with some Friends somewhere called Hah-why ee. He must have been very busy in Hah-why ee because we was really tired when he came Home to get his Dog. He told Fixes-Things Guy that he was knackered. My Alpha smelled of the ocean and dirt and chemicals and some People that I haven’t met. He also smelled of Airplanes and car stink and some other stuff that I tried to figure out, but I didn’t get too far with that. But I’ll know it if I ever smell that stuff again.
My Alpha drove with me in his Car to the Shat-oh Marmot Place where we sometimes live. This Den is like a Hotel place, and they don’t like me very much there unless I stay Outside most of the time. My Alpha says that I’m not really destructive, but I have Separation Issues. I think this is maybe when the Dog gets bored. Being Alone is Very Boring.
Anyhow, we had hardly even gotten to the Shat-oh when My Alpha got a ring from his noisy box and he said “Hello Pen!” Pen is his new Bitch, and he likes her a lot. I like her okay. She brings me Treats and pets me, but she doesn’t like the shedding thing.
Viggo doesn’t mind the shedding thing. Did I already tell you about that?
I guess Pen wanted to Greet my Alpha or something, because after a lot of talking he said “Okay, I’ll meet you there.” I looked around the Den wondering what I could find to keep myself busy while he was gone.
“Oh no you don’t,” Orlando told me, and he got my leash. Sometimes it’s a Good Thing to be the Bad Dog!
So I got to Ride in the Car again, and we went to a totally New part of Lost Angeles. I had never smelled this part of the city before. I was leaning way far out of the Car to Smell everything. It was Great! We got to a Place where the Cars sit when People leave them, and my Alpha told me “You have to stay here for just a little while, Sidi. Be Good!”
I huffed out of my nose and lay down on the seat. Being Good is Boring. Orlando scratched me behind the ears and then he left. The window was open on just one side, so I lay there and sniffed the evening air until I fell asleep.
There was a sound that woke me up, and when I looked up there was a Guy opening the car door. This Guy was Not my Alpha, but some Guy who probably was a Fixes-Things Guy. He saw me and was surprised. He yelped and jumped back, and that’s when I realized that maybe he was an Evil Guy coming to take Stuff Away from my Alpha’s Car! I started Barking and jumped at the Evil Guy!
That’s when the Car started Screaming! I was Barking the STOP TOUCHING MY STUFF! Bark and the Car was Screaming! and some People came running from all over the place. The Evil Guy was swatting at me and trying to kick me! I ducked out of the way and darted in to Bark at him more! It was like playing with Fur-me, because Fur-me is pretty clumsy and stupid, and this Guy was not doing any good at trying to knock me away!
People Yelled and the Car Screamed! and the Bad Guy managed to slap my muzzle. That made me Really Mad! and I decided that I might have to Bite! This Guy! Then the Evil Man Ran away across the Car Place and I followed him, Barking and nipping at his heels. He wasn’t going to get anything out of my Alpha’s Car! He Ran here and there and through places and over things and under other things and I was right there behind him, Barking and Running and getting really MAD about that smack on my muzzle!
He stopped once and kicked at me, but he was easy to duck. He was breathing really hard through his mouth and he Smelled like Fear! I growled at him with my hackles up! You know how Scary a Big Alpha Dog like me can get! I’m really Good at being Scary! The Man got to a Door and squeezed through, and I was Stuck Outside, Barking at him angrily! The Man got away inside the Place, and then I was stuck Barking at nothing, so I finally stopped and looked around.
I had no idea where I was, and nothing Smelled familiar.
Well, some things did. There was Food and Trash and Cars and the usual things that you Smell in a city. There was some Cat piss and maybe rats had been there in the late hours. No Dogs had been there for a while, at least not leaving a Mark to say This Is Mine! There were People all around, and a few of them spoke to me. But I didn’t think that I had time to make new People Friends. I needed to get back to my Alpha’s Car so I could Guard it and Make Vigilance in case the Bad Guy came around again. I’m sure that My Alpha would give me a Treat for Protecting his Stuff.
I tried to follow my scent back the way that I had come, but it got confusing. Too many Cars had driven over my trail and a there were too many strange odors. Then a bunch of People were coming out of a building, laughing and talking and ignoring the Dog. Many strange Smells came up around me and I think I got turned around. There was some popcorn on the ground and I stopped to eat that. It was late in the night and I was Hungry! It was past time for Crunchy Good Things!
My Alpha was probably looking for me so he could take me home and Feed me! I hoped he wasn’t going to Yell at me about the Bad Guy getting the Car Door open. I hope that Bad Guy didn’t mess up the Car. You really get in trouble when somebody messes up the Car! I won’t even Tell you what happens when the seats get chewed on!
All the People walking on the street ignored me. It was like they couldn’t see the black Dog in the night time. I walked for a while in one direction, then trotted in another, trying to Sniff for something familiar. Too bad I had been Running before, because if I had stopped to make some Piss Marks I would know where I was now.
“Hey, doggie,” called a voice from between two buildings. My ears pricked up. “Well, hello, Lord Dog,” said the unfamiliar voice. I stopped and thought for a moment, sniffing the air. There was a Man in there, somewhere amongst the keen smelling trash and junk. I walked over cautiously, with my tail half-up, ready to wag or tuck if I needed to Run Away.
“Come here, Lord doggie,” said the Man. I could see him sitting on the hard ground, leaning on the wall. He had raised his hand and was offering me an invisible Treat. I went over there to see what it was. The Man Smelled very strong of Man, with none of the chemicals and stinky stuff my Alpha usually covers his scent with. That’s a good way for People to Smell. I don’t like the Smell of chemicals most people cover themselves with.
I gave a little wag, just to check, and the Man made no move to grab at me. He called me Lord again. My Alpha says that Sidi means Lord. Maybe this Man knows my Alpha. Lots and lots of People know my Alpha! He is Very Dominant. I went closer to Sniff, just in case my Alpha’s scent was buried in there under the Strange Man Smell.
“Are you hungry, Lord Dog?” the Man asked.
Wow! How did he know that I was missing out on my Crunchy Good Things? I wagged for real then, and the Strange Man scratched an itch on my neck. His fingers took hold of my collar and he pulled me closer to pat my butt. I Love having my butt patted! He took a scrap of Food out of his pocket. It wasn’t much of a Treat, not like when Sean brings Treats in his pockets. But I ate it and was glad.
“What am I going to do with you, Lord Dog?” the Strange Man asked me.
I didn’t answer, because Dogs can’t talk.
(to be continued in What the Dog Didn't See)
The Luckiest Dog in the World - Chapter 30
TITLE: Missing Dog
AUTHOR: Pecos - PecosPhil@sprintmail.com
WEBSITE: http://www.chimerafic.com
RATING: PG - adult language, innuendo
FEEDBACK: remember the golden rule, (please!)
SUMMARY: Sidi tells his story
DISCLAIMER: I don’t make the toys, I’m
only playing with them. No money made,
nor disrespect intended
NOTE: Please forgive any intentional or
unintentional abuse of facts and history
Missing Dog
I am saying hello to all of the Nice People! Are things Good with your Pack? Have you got Food and a warm place to sleep? Does someone scratch you when you itch? Life is Good, right?
My name is Sidi, and I am a Black Alpha Dog. I’ve got a curly-up tail and long toenails and a leather collar with tags that jingle and my Alpha Male Human is named Orlando. Maybe you remember all of that, because this isn’t the first time that I’ve told stories about my life. If you remember about me then Hello again! If you don’t remember then Hello for the first time! I’m going to tell you about my Life, because I am the Luckiest Dog in the World.
My Alpha doesn’t have a permanent Den, so we live all over the World. We live in Hotel places and strange places and little bitty moving places. Sometimes we live in other people’s Dens. My Alpha says that he lives in a suitcase, but I think he’s confused about that. I have a suitcase for my Toys and my Bowl and my Blankie and other Important Stuff, but I don’t think you could ever get my Alpha inside there even with some magic. He’s a Big Powerful Alpha Male and they need lots of Room.
Maybe I could fit inside a suitcase. But I don’t think I would like it living in there.
I like living with My Second Alpha Viggo the best of all the places we live.
Viggo has a Crazy Den, with lots and lots of Stuff in it and a Puppy named Fur-me and some Cats! that come in from Outside and try to Eat my Food! All sorts of People come to the Crazy Den and it’s always Great to be there. You would like it too! There’s a couch that smells like Dogs more than People Butt. There’s always Food being spilled and nobody cares if you’re shedding. It’s the Best Place in all of Lost Angeles.
My Alpha makes Playing with his Friends. He calls this acting. His Friends are lots of Males and some Females and they treat my Alpha like he is the Boss of all of them. So he is very Dominant, even though he never seems to make other People be Submissive. One of his Friends is Johnny with the Quick Fingers. Johnny knows how to do Tricks!
One of Johnny’s Best Tricks is Making the Toy disappear. I didn’t like this Trick at first, but now I know that he always makes the Toy come back again, so I don’t mind so much. Sometimes I even let him have my Favorite Toy to do his Trick with.
There are also Friends of my Alpha called Hobbits, and I like them a Lot! If you know all of these People too then you know why I like them! You could probably Smell Me on their clothes and stuff, because I’ve been shedding a Lot lately. I get itchy and my hairs fall out and stick to stuff. My Alpha brushes me and gets other People to brush me, but I just keep making new hairs. I must be very good at making hairs.
So, anyhow, I’m telling you all of this from my memory, which is the Stuff that happened before. Usually the stuff that happened before doesn’t matter very much, but this time it does because some other stuff happened that I’m going to tell you about now.
It wasn’t very long ago at all that my Alpha Male was gone for a few days. I was staying with Fixes-Things Guy while my Alpha was doing the acting with some Friends somewhere called Hah-why ee. He must have been very busy in Hah-why ee because we was really tired when he came Home to get his Dog. He told Fixes-Things Guy that he was knackered. My Alpha smelled of the ocean and dirt and chemicals and some People that I haven’t met. He also smelled of Airplanes and car stink and some other stuff that I tried to figure out, but I didn’t get too far with that. But I’ll know it if I ever smell that stuff again.
My Alpha drove with me in his Car to the Shat-oh Marmot Place where we sometimes live. This Den is like a Hotel place, and they don’t like me very much there unless I stay Outside most of the time. My Alpha says that I’m not really destructive, but I have Separation Issues. I think this is maybe when the Dog gets bored. Being Alone is Very Boring.
Anyhow, we had hardly even gotten to the Shat-oh when My Alpha got a ring from his noisy box and he said “Hello Pen!” Pen is his new Bitch, and he likes her a lot. I like her okay. She brings me Treats and pets me, but she doesn’t like the shedding thing.
Viggo doesn’t mind the shedding thing. Did I already tell you about that?
I guess Pen wanted to Greet my Alpha or something, because after a lot of talking he said “Okay, I’ll meet you there.” I looked around the Den wondering what I could find to keep myself busy while he was gone.
“Oh no you don’t,” Orlando told me, and he got my leash. Sometimes it’s a Good Thing to be the Bad Dog!
So I got to Ride in the Car again, and we went to a totally New part of Lost Angeles. I had never smelled this part of the city before. I was leaning way far out of the Car to Smell everything. It was Great! We got to a Place where the Cars sit when People leave them, and my Alpha told me “You have to stay here for just a little while, Sidi. Be Good!”
I huffed out of my nose and lay down on the seat. Being Good is Boring. Orlando scratched me behind the ears and then he left. The window was open on just one side, so I lay there and sniffed the evening air until I fell asleep.
There was a sound that woke me up, and when I looked up there was a Guy opening the car door. This Guy was Not my Alpha, but some Guy who probably was a Fixes-Things Guy. He saw me and was surprised. He yelped and jumped back, and that’s when I realized that maybe he was an Evil Guy coming to take Stuff Away from my Alpha’s Car! I started Barking and jumped at the Evil Guy!
That’s when the Car started Screaming! I was Barking the STOP TOUCHING MY STUFF! Bark and the Car was Screaming! and some People came running from all over the place. The Evil Guy was swatting at me and trying to kick me! I ducked out of the way and darted in to Bark at him more! It was like playing with Fur-me, because Fur-me is pretty clumsy and stupid, and this Guy was not doing any good at trying to knock me away!
People Yelled and the Car Screamed! and the Bad Guy managed to slap my muzzle. That made me Really Mad! and I decided that I might have to Bite! This Guy! Then the Evil Man Ran away across the Car Place and I followed him, Barking and nipping at his heels. He wasn’t going to get anything out of my Alpha’s Car! He Ran here and there and through places and over things and under other things and I was right there behind him, Barking and Running and getting really MAD about that smack on my muzzle!
He stopped once and kicked at me, but he was easy to duck. He was breathing really hard through his mouth and he Smelled like Fear! I growled at him with my hackles up! You know how Scary a Big Alpha Dog like me can get! I’m really Good at being Scary! The Man got to a Door and squeezed through, and I was Stuck Outside, Barking at him angrily! The Man got away inside the Place, and then I was stuck Barking at nothing, so I finally stopped and looked around.
I had no idea where I was, and nothing Smelled familiar.
Well, some things did. There was Food and Trash and Cars and the usual things that you Smell in a city. There was some Cat piss and maybe rats had been there in the late hours. No Dogs had been there for a while, at least not leaving a Mark to say This Is Mine! There were People all around, and a few of them spoke to me. But I didn’t think that I had time to make new People Friends. I needed to get back to my Alpha’s Car so I could Guard it and Make Vigilance in case the Bad Guy came around again. I’m sure that My Alpha would give me a Treat for Protecting his Stuff.
I tried to follow my scent back the way that I had come, but it got confusing. Too many Cars had driven over my trail and a there were too many strange odors. Then a bunch of People were coming out of a building, laughing and talking and ignoring the Dog. Many strange Smells came up around me and I think I got turned around. There was some popcorn on the ground and I stopped to eat that. It was late in the night and I was Hungry! It was past time for Crunchy Good Things!
My Alpha was probably looking for me so he could take me home and Feed me! I hoped he wasn’t going to Yell at me about the Bad Guy getting the Car Door open. I hope that Bad Guy didn’t mess up the Car. You really get in trouble when somebody messes up the Car! I won’t even Tell you what happens when the seats get chewed on!
All the People walking on the street ignored me. It was like they couldn’t see the black Dog in the night time. I walked for a while in one direction, then trotted in another, trying to Sniff for something familiar. Too bad I had been Running before, because if I had stopped to make some Piss Marks I would know where I was now.
“Hey, doggie,” called a voice from between two buildings. My ears pricked up. “Well, hello, Lord Dog,” said the unfamiliar voice. I stopped and thought for a moment, sniffing the air. There was a Man in there, somewhere amongst the keen smelling trash and junk. I walked over cautiously, with my tail half-up, ready to wag or tuck if I needed to Run Away.
“Come here, Lord doggie,” said the Man. I could see him sitting on the hard ground, leaning on the wall. He had raised his hand and was offering me an invisible Treat. I went over there to see what it was. The Man Smelled very strong of Man, with none of the chemicals and stinky stuff my Alpha usually covers his scent with. That’s a good way for People to Smell. I don’t like the Smell of chemicals most people cover themselves with.
I gave a little wag, just to check, and the Man made no move to grab at me. He called me Lord again. My Alpha says that Sidi means Lord. Maybe this Man knows my Alpha. Lots and lots of People know my Alpha! He is Very Dominant. I went closer to Sniff, just in case my Alpha’s scent was buried in there under the Strange Man Smell.
“Are you hungry, Lord Dog?” the Man asked.
Wow! How did he know that I was missing out on my Crunchy Good Things? I wagged for real then, and the Strange Man scratched an itch on my neck. His fingers took hold of my collar and he pulled me closer to pat my butt. I Love having my butt patted! He took a scrap of Food out of his pocket. It wasn’t much of a Treat, not like when Sean brings Treats in his pockets. But I ate it and was glad.
“What am I going to do with you, Lord Dog?” the Strange Man asked me.
I didn’t answer, because Dogs can’t talk.
(to be continued in What the Dog Didn't See)