(no subject)
The girl has decided she wants to be confirmed (confirmated? What do you call it?) and so today we went to the first mass, meant to welcome the children to the confirmation education they have to go through this winter. We were all bored to tears, none more than the boy who finally lay down on the bench to mumble "Can I go home now! Booooored. How many minutes are left now?"
Honestly, for a mass meant to lure young people into the church they weren't really trying very hard. There were 6 psalms, none of them even remotely familiar, so even my girl who loves to sing gave up on singing along (as they were encouraged to do). A lot of what the priest said was about sin and sinning and asking forgiveness and how the confirmation was about reforming the children into better people (what? assuming they were bad before?) and completely skipped over the whole joy and love part which I thought Jesus was all about. I had to bite my tongue so many times to not say anything, like "That makes no sense" or "Seriously? What kind of example are you trying to set here?"
Afterwards we had a talk and I told her she could look at it a bit like dating. When you get to know a new person you don't jump into marriage (I was gonna say bed, but decided not to, lol), you get to know them first to figure out if you love each other and are right for each other. Dating doesn't always end in marriage (of course I know marriage is not an essential part of a relationship but hey, I had to work with my metaphor), you can always decide that person isn't for you for some reason, even if you maybe do love them. So she can study for confirmation but she can always back out, whenever she wants. Even at the last minute. We will still have a family gathering for her, celebrating her coming of age and just being a fabulous young woman. That has nothing to do with religion.
Then of course there are other options, like the non-religious confirmation, which I would choose for my kids if it was up to me. (I want the decision to be theirs, even if I feel 13-14 is too young to make that decision, honestly. Like me, if it had been two years later, when I was 16, I wouldn't have gone through with it. But at 13 I didn't even question anything, of course I believed in God, why wouldn't I? *sighs*) I looked at their schedule and lesson plan which is not about God and Jesus but actually practical things, like self-esteem issues, ethics, multiculturalism and fighting prejudism, the danger of drugs, interaction of the sexes, emotions like happiness and grief, human rights and environmental issues. She liked it, she just want the ceremony to be in a church. Which they don't do. Oh well. We still have time until the middle of November to sign her up for it, if she changes her mind. We'll see.
Anyway, I spent the rest of the day baking gluten free cinnamon rolls. Meh. They're tiny and dry and look more like lumps with cinnamon on them but they taste ok, I guess.
Honestly, for a mass meant to lure young people into the church they weren't really trying very hard. There were 6 psalms, none of them even remotely familiar, so even my girl who loves to sing gave up on singing along (as they were encouraged to do). A lot of what the priest said was about sin and sinning and asking forgiveness and how the confirmation was about reforming the children into better people (what? assuming they were bad before?) and completely skipped over the whole joy and love part which I thought Jesus was all about. I had to bite my tongue so many times to not say anything, like "That makes no sense" or "Seriously? What kind of example are you trying to set here?"
Afterwards we had a talk and I told her she could look at it a bit like dating. When you get to know a new person you don't jump into marriage (I was gonna say bed, but decided not to, lol), you get to know them first to figure out if you love each other and are right for each other. Dating doesn't always end in marriage (of course I know marriage is not an essential part of a relationship but hey, I had to work with my metaphor), you can always decide that person isn't for you for some reason, even if you maybe do love them. So she can study for confirmation but she can always back out, whenever she wants. Even at the last minute. We will still have a family gathering for her, celebrating her coming of age and just being a fabulous young woman. That has nothing to do with religion.
Then of course there are other options, like the non-religious confirmation, which I would choose for my kids if it was up to me. (I want the decision to be theirs, even if I feel 13-14 is too young to make that decision, honestly. Like me, if it had been two years later, when I was 16, I wouldn't have gone through with it. But at 13 I didn't even question anything, of course I believed in God, why wouldn't I? *sighs*) I looked at their schedule and lesson plan which is not about God and Jesus but actually practical things, like self-esteem issues, ethics, multiculturalism and fighting prejudism, the danger of drugs, interaction of the sexes, emotions like happiness and grief, human rights and environmental issues. She liked it, she just want the ceremony to be in a church. Which they don't do. Oh well. We still have time until the middle of November to sign her up for it, if she changes her mind. We'll see.
Anyway, I spent the rest of the day baking gluten free cinnamon rolls. Meh. They're tiny and dry and look more like lumps with cinnamon on them but they taste ok, I guess.