(no subject)

[felis_ultharus]

So I was listening to an interview from last week on a show called Spark -- CBC Radio's internet-culture and new technology program.

And they had this man named Tom Armitage on it talking about how the next generation of world leaders will all have been raised on video games, and speculating on what video games might have taught these future leaders. The tone was very optimistic.

As a life-long gamer myself, I thought I'd compile a list of things future prime ministers and presidents and chancellors might have learnt from video games that might be applicable to the world situation. To wit:

Military

• The only defence necessary is a three-foot wall around your country. No one can jump over that.
  
• Ammunition is a useless expense. Even if your guns aren't the kind with infinite bullets, clips and rounds can be found scattered about the landscape.
  
• The best training for new soldiers is massacring rabbits.
  
• All outposts and research centres must be designed as a series of barely-jumpable platforms interspersed with occasional treasure chests, and sometimes chicken legs concealed in the bricks of the walls.
  
• Wars aren't won by armies, only by small ragtag troupes of two to eight members who each have their own distinctive skill set, uniforms, and hair style.

Health Care

• It's not necessary to set residency spaces or hire doctors. By the mere act of picking up a medical kit, anyone can instantly heal the most grievous bullet wounds.
  
• Death is a minor inconvenience.
  
• All hospitals will eventually become battlefields, or haunted by zombie nurses wielding lead pipes. In other words, don't build any.

Ecology

• If a species is made extinct by overhunting, it's only necessary to zone out two screens away for them to re-spawn.
  
• If the land is becoming desert and the water turning poisonous, it's merely necessary to find the four crystals and drive out the fiends.

Demographics

• Homosexuals only exist in Japan, or among space aliens. If from Japan, they are probably vampires.
  
• In nomadic tribes, military troupes, and even whole cities, it is very common to only find one woman. All the women are in the lost amazon tribe.
  
• It is unnecessary to ever perform more than one survey or census. People just keep saying the same thing over and over again. It is often "Welcome to Corneria."

Political Systems and Elections

• When on the campaign trail, remember -- eating the mushrooms makes you tall, and eating the leaf means you can fly. Wearing a teddy bear costume makes you immune to all harm. Actually, this all probably only applies to politics in British Columbia.
  
• There are no bad monarchs except usurpers. Anyone in a direct line of royal blood is pure-hearted and excellent in battle, and have special swords that only they can use. Elected officials, by contrast, are corrupt.
  
• That said, there's no point in actually having a monarchy, constitutional or otherwise. When the time comes to get royal assent on any legislation, no matter how hard you look for her your princess is in another castle.

Feel free to add your own.