Ah
Every time I start feeling content, something ruins it every time. I noticed I have been really angry with everything lately. I used to have really bad anger problems all of my life then I learned how to control it, and to let things go or block things out these past few years. It has finally all added up, I have been so angry, instead of being depressed or sad or whatever I feel the need to fuck something or someone up. My wrist and my knuckles are broken, but it makes me feel better to punch the fuck out of something. Today I broke down, I am glad a certain someone left, she didn't need to see me like that. I definatly underestimate my own strength. I was pissed walking to my room, I threw a bunch of shit around and while walking down the stairs I grabbed this rack that was drilled into the wall and just ripped it the fuck out with ease. I feel bad for the people who have gotten me to that point and taken an ass wooping from me. I tore this house apart flipping out. I do feel a lot better though, maybe I just needed to let everything out that I have been holding inside of me. I am sick of being fucked over, my head fucked with, nothing good coming my way, when I think I have something or someone good, I get fucked over. I just realized it is better to not give a damn anymore. I don't want to be alone this winter. All I wanted was to have a good girl who can be head over heels in love with me and treat me like I treat them. I think that is too much to ask for though. So I say to hell with love and relationships. I just need a booty call.