Song time.
I've started writing more in one of my books than I have on here. Turns out I write more stuff. Crazy stuff. Dunno that it's been in my head this long or if it's just now popping out and straight on to the pages....however....in my writing I've realized that there are a few songs that symbolize some things in my life that I wouldn't even have guessed originally. These songs just popped into my head as I was going back and reading. Maybe this is my shadow?
Wishing it Was
Beauty and grace is what touches me most
Good time can put me in fear
Always feel safe when things are bad
So I cannot let you come near
It seems that I thrive on the dark side of things
I always feel alive when the death bell rings
Now you have come and bring out the tears in me
Pain never makes me cry, but happiness does
It's so strange to watch my life go by
Wishing it was
Wishing it was more like a fantasy
Where everyone surprises me
Wishing it was
This feeling won’t last cause I cannot survive
I tell you I’ve been here before
When it’s movin this fast
It's a matter of time
One of us walks out that door
It seems that I thrive on the dark side of things
I always feel alive when the death bell rings
Now you come and you bring out the tears in me
Give this some thought
And I’m sure you will know
This is the way it must be
Emotions will rise, emotions will flow
You bring out the tears in me
It's so strange to watch your life walk and where everyday
I've been burning the candle at both ends
And lied the truth I can’t pretend
This is why I will not stay baby
Just like that I’m on my way
Know
Know that i love you
Know i don't care
Know that i see you
Know i'm not there.
Cold and Ugly
Underneath her skin and jewelry,
hidden in her words and eyes
is a wall that's cold and ugly
and she's scared as hell.
Trembling at the thought of feeling.
Wide awake and keeping distance.
Nothing seems to penetrate her.
She's scared as hell.
I am frightened to.
Wide awake
and keeping distance from my soul.
I am scared like you.
Flood
Here comes the water.
All I knew and all I believed
are crumbling images
that no longer comfort me.
I scramble to reach higher ground,
some order and sanity,
or something to comfort me.
So I take what is mine,and hold what is mine,
suffocate what is mine, and bury what's mine.
Soon the water will come
and claim what is mine.
I must leave it behind,
and climb to a new place now.
This ground is not the rock I thought it to be.
Thought I was high, and free.
I thought I was there
divine destiny.
I was wrong.
This changes everything.
The water is rising up on me.
Thought the sun would come deliver me,
but the truth has come to punish me instead.
The ground is breaking down right under me.
Cleanse and purge me
in the water.
Surprisingly morbid for my disposition. My spot in the sun may have just passed under a cloud for a moment. I'm not sad or depressed. Just aware of certain things in me that I was ignoring before...a certain dementedness. I guess if you looked hard enough you could find it. I'm gonna hit that "Post Journal Entry" button before I panic and delete all of this.
Wishing it Was
Beauty and grace is what touches me most
Good time can put me in fear
Always feel safe when things are bad
So I cannot let you come near
It seems that I thrive on the dark side of things
I always feel alive when the death bell rings
Now you have come and bring out the tears in me
Pain never makes me cry, but happiness does
It's so strange to watch my life go by
Wishing it was
Wishing it was more like a fantasy
Where everyone surprises me
Wishing it was
This feeling won’t last cause I cannot survive
I tell you I’ve been here before
When it’s movin this fast
It's a matter of time
One of us walks out that door
It seems that I thrive on the dark side of things
I always feel alive when the death bell rings
Now you come and you bring out the tears in me
Give this some thought
And I’m sure you will know
This is the way it must be
Emotions will rise, emotions will flow
You bring out the tears in me
It's so strange to watch your life walk and where everyday
I've been burning the candle at both ends
And lied the truth I can’t pretend
This is why I will not stay baby
Just like that I’m on my way
Know
Know that i love you
Know i don't care
Know that i see you
Know i'm not there.
Cold and Ugly
Underneath her skin and jewelry,
hidden in her words and eyes
is a wall that's cold and ugly
and she's scared as hell.
Trembling at the thought of feeling.
Wide awake and keeping distance.
Nothing seems to penetrate her.
She's scared as hell.
I am frightened to.
Wide awake
and keeping distance from my soul.
I am scared like you.
Flood
Here comes the water.
All I knew and all I believed
are crumbling images
that no longer comfort me.
I scramble to reach higher ground,
some order and sanity,
or something to comfort me.
So I take what is mine,and hold what is mine,
suffocate what is mine, and bury what's mine.
Soon the water will come
and claim what is mine.
I must leave it behind,
and climb to a new place now.
This ground is not the rock I thought it to be.
Thought I was high, and free.
I thought I was there
divine destiny.
I was wrong.
This changes everything.
The water is rising up on me.
Thought the sun would come deliver me,
but the truth has come to punish me instead.
The ground is breaking down right under me.
Cleanse and purge me
in the water.
Surprisingly morbid for my disposition. My spot in the sun may have just passed under a cloud for a moment. I'm not sad or depressed. Just aware of certain things in me that I was ignoring before...a certain dementedness. I guess if you looked hard enough you could find it. I'm gonna hit that "Post Journal Entry" button before I panic and delete all of this.