Warning, contains humour.
The Edinburgh International Arts Festival. Oh the thoughts that are invoked by an international arts festival. People of all colours and creeds joining together in the streets to create a fusion of cultures, demonstrating the greatest of their lands through theatre, through dance, through wit and all other forms of art.
It's just I have one little issue i'd like to raise.
I would like to write to the department of trade and industry as to the mis-selling of this event. While it is undeniably IN Edinburgh, I question just how international it is. Or the total art content of this product. If the festival was named 'Temporary visit to Edinburgh by all London Art Wankers' then it might be more accurate. You can tell the popularity of the event with Londoners because the broadsheets acknowledge that something exists past the M25. Don't worry about a translator, 90 percent of the population is already from London, so making it _fabulous_. The other 10 percent are poor and Scottish, so you can ignore them.
I wouldn't want you to think this is some sort of baseless accusation, from my visit to my local coffee shop the first three people I heard speak were all from the South. I guess it's busier this year as daddy lost his job in the city and has gone to learn to be a chef of luxury cuisine in the Swiss alps after reading an article in the FT and had to kick the the lazy art bum out to rent the flat. So why not jolly on up to Edinburgh? Tarquin and Farquhar have enough savings to put on a show renting a damp basement from some other Londoner (who makes & takes the festival money). Then they actually have to think about to put on. This involves getting drunk, standing in the street in everyone's way waving a fag about before vomiting over some homeless guy (or maybe it was woman it was difficult to tell) and laughing about it.
Of course once you have a show, you simply have to put fliers and posters _everywhere_. I mean no-one else has ever thought about it and what we're doing is _so_ unique! Daddy can visit and bring his other wife and i'll invite all my old private school chums too! Oh and I know someone who wrote a column once for the guardian sunday supplement so they can gives us a great review!
Oh gosh, isn't the internationality of London in Edinburgh so....arty!
Oh gosh, we've run out of money. Better go back and see daddy in the City! I'm sure he has his job back now that he can't open a restaurant in France which bans Frenchman.
PS, this is my contribution to the festival. I call it 'reflections of a festival veteran'. It's comedy. It's also pure dead brill.
It's just I have one little issue i'd like to raise.
I would like to write to the department of trade and industry as to the mis-selling of this event. While it is undeniably IN Edinburgh, I question just how international it is. Or the total art content of this product. If the festival was named 'Temporary visit to Edinburgh by all London Art Wankers' then it might be more accurate. You can tell the popularity of the event with Londoners because the broadsheets acknowledge that something exists past the M25. Don't worry about a translator, 90 percent of the population is already from London, so making it _fabulous_. The other 10 percent are poor and Scottish, so you can ignore them.
I wouldn't want you to think this is some sort of baseless accusation, from my visit to my local coffee shop the first three people I heard speak were all from the South. I guess it's busier this year as daddy lost his job in the city and has gone to learn to be a chef of luxury cuisine in the Swiss alps after reading an article in the FT and had to kick the the lazy art bum out to rent the flat. So why not jolly on up to Edinburgh? Tarquin and Farquhar have enough savings to put on a show renting a damp basement from some other Londoner (who makes & takes the festival money). Then they actually have to think about to put on. This involves getting drunk, standing in the street in everyone's way waving a fag about before vomiting over some homeless guy (or maybe it was woman it was difficult to tell) and laughing about it.
Of course once you have a show, you simply have to put fliers and posters _everywhere_. I mean no-one else has ever thought about it and what we're doing is _so_ unique! Daddy can visit and bring his other wife and i'll invite all my old private school chums too! Oh and I know someone who wrote a column once for the guardian sunday supplement so they can gives us a great review!
Oh gosh, isn't the internationality of London in Edinburgh so....arty!
Oh gosh, we've run out of money. Better go back and see daddy in the City! I'm sure he has his job back now that he can't open a restaurant in France which bans Frenchman.
PS, this is my contribution to the festival. I call it 'reflections of a festival veteran'. It's comedy. It's also pure dead brill.