snug like a bug in a rug with ugly boys
last night, the girls and i went to this integration party sponsored by dani and carmela's school, IPAG. although i had met a lot of their friends already, there were still quite the number of people who showed up that i didn't know. the worst thing about it is that this all started at eleven pm - but since we came only at one, we had to wait 20 minutes to get in. it was called the coy'hot girls party because the theme was meant to be some kind of coyote ugly ordeal (which, in french terms, meant strippers wearing cowboy hats and thongs)...the thing i've noticed about french clubs is that if they are not known for a particular style of music, they play the ODDEST most bizarre songs ever. and i mean bizarre, like can't take my eyes off of you dance remix. the music dipped into hip hop for awhile but that didn't last very long, so we were all sitting around in search of YES, water, but it turns out you could only drink tap water from the ladies room. desperate and dehydrated i chugged all this nasty vodka apple and vodka orange because i was so dizzy with thirst i thought i would pass out. and wow the french men. we saw a lot of well dressed guys who may or may not have been seniors at IPAG - but then again there were also the sleaze bags and the agressive touchy feely guys which i despise with a passion. for example, in the beginning of the night this guy comes up to me and starts smelling my hair and he actually exclaims "ooh la la" because yes, that phrase does exist - very much so... he debates with his friend whether or not my hair and person smell like chanel or dior. twenty minutes later, and probably fifty sniffs later, they decided on burberry which was very wrong. then this huge bouncer looking guy grabbed my behind while i was trying to check in my coat. a lot of clucking from ugly businessmen. an offer to smoke up with these strange people from carmela's accounting class. and then the worst of the worst happened. it all started when the jamaican asked dani and i if we were sisters, and as we were accustomed to this we nodded and smile, holding each other tightly. then he brought in this huge group of people, it was THE UNITED COLORS OF BENETTON ok? it was so funny but it was so scary at the same time. but i'm sure if i was stoned i would have the biggest trip of my life just looking at these people. forming a tight circle around us were two indian guys, a funny white guy with a huge beard, the jamaican, two moroccan guys, two french guys...and then they kept closing in on us and we were just hugging each other so tightly that we stepped on each other's toes. i didn't know what was going to happen next and then boom. the indian guy (and i only found out it was him later on), puts his arms around dani's waist and reached out and SQUEEZED my left breast really hard! freaked out, we finally got this guy, justin (the one who sniffed me) to get us out of that tight spot..although i had to compromise with him sniffing my hair for the next three songs. strange guy. it's like in charlie's angels, with that psycho guy who smells their hair. finally things were winding down at four and we decided to leave because the night could not get more action packed than that. we piled into a cab, and the driver turned out to be a total asshole so we still had to walk a block in heels and such.. by the time i got home i was so awake that i actually sat at my computer and talked to my favorite international connection for a good hour plus... so much for a good night's sleep.
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the parisiennes. and me.