Fanfiction: Jeeves and Wooster (Various)
Title: Ten Alternate Universes
Pairing/Characters: Bertie Wooster; Reginald Jeeves
Rating: Various
Fandom: Jeeves and Wooster
Word Count: 1,899
Spoilers: None
Summary: Ten snippets of possible alternate universes.
Notes/Warnings: Written for zekkass for a meme I posted on my LJ. Beta by zekkass.
Ten Alternate Universes
1. wild west:
"Are you all right, sir?" The thin, gangly man in the suit peered out from behind the upended table to see the sheriff looming over him, concern on his face.
"Oh, ah, I think so." He got to his feet, stretching and wincing a little. "What was that all about?"
The sheriff helped him dust himself off. "It doesn't really matter, sir. I took care of it."
"Good, good." He ran a nervous hand through his brown hair. "Thanks for your help."
"It's what I'm here for, sir." The sheriff tipped his hat respectfully, revealing carefully-slicked black hair. "Sheriff Reginald Jeeves at your service."
"Nice to meet you. I'm Bertie Wooster."
2. cyberpunk:
Jeeves hid a wince when Bertie emerged from his 'lab' with liberal amounts of grease on his hands, arms, and protective coverall. As for his face, it was caked with soot, except for around his eyes. "I take it you were unable to repair the device, sir?"
"It blew up in my face, Jeeves." Bertie admitted, stripping off the coverall to reveal clothes that smoked slightly. "I thought for sure I had it."
"Perhaps sleeping on it will help you figure out the problem." Jeeves remained impassive as Bertie proceeded to strip to his waist. It would take determined scrubbing to remove the grease and soot.
"Perhaps, Jeeves, perhaps." Bertie took up the special soap that worked wonders on grease and oil and began scrubbing at his arms and hands with it. "I'm not sure I'll be able sleep well tonight, though. You know Stiffy is flying over tomorrow? She wants my help with another scheme."
"That is usually Miss Byng's objective when she flies to town, sir," Jeeves replied, treating the spots of grease on the coverall with an extra-strong stain remover.
"Quite true." Bertie had finished scrubbing his arms clean and refreshed the water so he could wash his face.
The larger-than-usual tub had finished filling by then and Jeeves helped Bertie out of the rest of his clothes and into the tub. As the young master sank into the warm water with a deep sigh, Jeeves flipped a switch that caused the water to bubble and froth. While Bertie relaxed into the aquatic massage, Jeeves removed his own attire and slipped into the water with Bertie. He had every intention of ensuring the young master slept well that night!
3. furries:
The sleek black cat watched from its perch in the tree as the Great Dane terrorized the floppy-eared puppy. At the precisely correct moment, the cat dropped onto the Dane's back with an ear-splitting yowl, claws out. Bellowing with pain, the Great Dane ran off, completely forgetting the puppy. The cat jumped down and made his dignified way back to where the puppy sat whimpering. When he saw the cat coming, the brown-furred puppy turned to run, only to trip on his overlong ears. The cat reached the puppy and, purring, began grooming his fur. After a moment, the puppy relaxed and let the cat take care of him.
4. pirates:
Bertie stared morosely at the tankard of rum in front of him. He was never going to be a proper pirate. He didn't even like rum! "Pardon me, sir? May I join you?"
He stared at the tall, dark, handsome man in front of him for a moment. Hmm, maybe it'd work if he had a good first mate... "Of course! Pull up a chair."
"Very good, sir." The stranger sat down across from Bertie. "My name is Jeeves."
"Wooster, good to meet you!"
5. ...in SPACE!!:
Bertie was never more glad he'd splurged on his own spacecraft than when he and Jeeves needed to escape Ditteredge Planet before Bertie was forced into marriage with the ruler's daughter, Honoria.
6. born another gender:
I reluctantly followed Bingo into the bakery shop where his latest object of adoration worked. As we waited at the counter, he nudged me in the ribs and whispered, "There she is! Isn't she an angel?"
There were two women behind the counter. The one Bingo was staring at was lovely enough, blonde hair pulled back into a neat bun, brown eyes bright and sparkling. Her name badge had 'Meg' printed on it. It was the other one who really caught my eye: at least a head taller, with black hair pulled back into a severe bun and dark blue eyes taking in everything about the shop. Her name badge had 'Regina' printed on it.
7. schoolfic:
"I really couldn't advise it, sir," Jeeves insisted. "You are a young gentleman, therefore destined to attend school. I am merely a servant boy."
"Dash it, Jeeves, you're much brainier than me," Bertie exclaimed. "You should go to school, too! You'll enjoy it much more than me."
"Please do not insist, sir." Jeeves was admittedly tempted by the thought of going to school and learning so much. However, he knew that they would both be teased. "It is for the best. You need to learn to get along with other gentlemen of your class and I need to learn how to be the best valet."
"I don't know how I'll manage without you, Jeeves." Bertie stared at his valet with tears filling his bright blue eyes.
"You must, sir. Change is inevitable." Jeeves closed his arms around Bertie when the younger boy flung himself at the older boy in a tight hug. "When you come home on holiday, you can share what you've learned with me."
"It's better than nothing," Bertie agreed, his cheek resting against Jeeves' shirtfront. "Once I've finished school, though, and found a place of my own, we'll stay together forever."
"I would like nothing better, sir."
8. police/firefighters:
"Reggie! There's one more! A gentleman trapped in 6A!" Reginald resisted the urge to correct his colleague's use of the hated nickname. This was an emergency and not the time for such corrections. He made a mental note to do so at another time.
"I'm on my way already." Reginald shouldered his way through the licking flames, grateful for the heavy uniform and mask that protected him. He soon reached the flat in question and ducked through it, eventually finding the gentleman in question in the bedroom, wearing only his pyjamas, clutching a dressing gown around himself. "Sir! Are you all right?"
"I can't get out!" the gentleman replied, coughing.
Reginald retrieved the spare oxygen mask from his tool belt and helped the man put it on over his nose and mouth. "We can't go back the way we came, but we can go out the window."
"We're several floors up," the gentleman protested, blue eyes beginning to fill with panic. "We won't survive the fall."
"There are ladders, sir," Reginald assured him, moving to the bedroom window to knock out the glass with his ax. He looked out and waved to catch the others' attention. They waved back and he ducked back inside. "Come on, sir. I promise there'll be a ladder."
"All right." The man let Reginald guide him to the window. The firefighter was greatly relieved to see the ladder ready and waiting. "I say, shouldn't you go first?"
"No, you first, sir. I'll be right behind you, I promise." Reginald helped the other man climb out the window and steady himself on the ladder.
Much to his surprise, the gentleman didn't immediately start climbing. He looked right at Reginald and asked, "What's your name?"
"Reginald Jeeves, sir," he replied, a little surprised the man had asked.
"Bertie Wooster." He reached out and solemnly shook Reginald's hand. "Thank you for saving me."
With that, he began to climb down. Just as Reginald was about to climb out the window after him, the ceiling above him collapsed, burying him flaming debris. Dimly, he heard a voice shout, "Reg!" just before blackness consumed him.
9. urban fantasy:
"'Bertram Wooster, Werewolf Hunter' doesn't have quite the right ring to it, does it, Jeeves?" I tapped my pen on the desktop as I thought about it.
"No, sir." Jeeves sat on the Chesterfield, polishing his weapons until the silver blades gleamed. "It doesn't sound credible."
"I suppose 'Reginald Jeeves, Werewolf Hunter' doesn't have the right ring, either?" I watched as he carefully slid his weapons back into their scabbards and set them aside.
He then picked up his shotgun and began to disassemble it in order to give it a thorough cleaning. "No, sir, it does not."
"Ah, well, no one would believe such fantastic stories anyway." I crumpled up the first sheet of paper and tossed it towards the wastebasket. "What should I write about instead?"
"Perhaps the life of a young gentleman who needn't worry about hunting werewolves?" Jeeves glanced at me as he cleaned his shotgun.
"That idea has merit." I thought back to when I'd first hired Jeeves as a valet. "Escaping the soup sounds like much more fun than escaping werewolves."
"Indeed, sir."
10. harem:
"As a sign of my good will, Mr Jeeves, I offer you the pick of my harem." The Persian king nodded to the two servants standing on either side of the doors. They opened the doors to reveal at least a score of beautiful, nubile young women lounging around the room, talking, giggling, or playing some sort of game.
For a moment, the British ambassador was reminded of the girls' school where he'd served as a page before his intellectual talents were discovered and he was educated to work in the Diplomatic Corps. He glanced at the king. "Your Majesty is very kind, but I have no need of such a young lady."
"They are not to your liking?" The king raised an eyebrow and gestured for Jeeves to follow him. He glanced over his shoulder to see the two guards closing the door. He barely managed to stop when the king did, before another set of guarded double doors. "Perhaps you would prefer your choice of these lovelies, then."
He nodded to the guards and they opened the doors. Jeeves was unprepared to find the room beyond filled with at least a score of the most beautiful young men he'd ever seen. Like the women, they were scantily dressed, muscles rippling and flexing under skin as they laughed and playfully wrestled. There was one, however, who drew his eye. Tall and willowy, with a head of unruly honey-blond curls, he sat alone in the corner, his attention on the instrument in his hands. He seemed to sense Jeeves' scrutiny, because he looked up and beautiful blue eyes met his briefly before the young man lowered his gaze demurely. "Most...beautiful."
"Ah, you like Bertie?" The king sounded pleased. "He often plays music for me. It's why I picked him, to tell the truth."
He resisted the urge to shift his stance as his body responded to Bertie's beauty, grateful he'd chosen to wear the loose robes of the Arab people instead of more typical British attire. "He is exquisite, Sire."
"I said you could have your pick and, if Bertie is your pick, then you shall have him." The king sounded a little petulant. "Though, perhaps you'd like to spend some time with him before you make your final decision?"
Jeeves hadn't taken his eyes from Bertie, entranced by the man's beauty and grace as he coaxed beautiful music from his instrument. "Perhaps I should, your majesty."
End
Pairing/Characters: Bertie Wooster; Reginald Jeeves
Rating: Various
Fandom: Jeeves and Wooster
Word Count: 1,899
Spoilers: None
Summary: Ten snippets of possible alternate universes.
Notes/Warnings: Written for zekkass for a meme I posted on my LJ. Beta by zekkass.
Ten Alternate Universes
1. wild west:
"Are you all right, sir?" The thin, gangly man in the suit peered out from behind the upended table to see the sheriff looming over him, concern on his face.
"Oh, ah, I think so." He got to his feet, stretching and wincing a little. "What was that all about?"
The sheriff helped him dust himself off. "It doesn't really matter, sir. I took care of it."
"Good, good." He ran a nervous hand through his brown hair. "Thanks for your help."
"It's what I'm here for, sir." The sheriff tipped his hat respectfully, revealing carefully-slicked black hair. "Sheriff Reginald Jeeves at your service."
"Nice to meet you. I'm Bertie Wooster."
2. cyberpunk:
Jeeves hid a wince when Bertie emerged from his 'lab' with liberal amounts of grease on his hands, arms, and protective coverall. As for his face, it was caked with soot, except for around his eyes. "I take it you were unable to repair the device, sir?"
"It blew up in my face, Jeeves." Bertie admitted, stripping off the coverall to reveal clothes that smoked slightly. "I thought for sure I had it."
"Perhaps sleeping on it will help you figure out the problem." Jeeves remained impassive as Bertie proceeded to strip to his waist. It would take determined scrubbing to remove the grease and soot.
"Perhaps, Jeeves, perhaps." Bertie took up the special soap that worked wonders on grease and oil and began scrubbing at his arms and hands with it. "I'm not sure I'll be able sleep well tonight, though. You know Stiffy is flying over tomorrow? She wants my help with another scheme."
"That is usually Miss Byng's objective when she flies to town, sir," Jeeves replied, treating the spots of grease on the coverall with an extra-strong stain remover.
"Quite true." Bertie had finished scrubbing his arms clean and refreshed the water so he could wash his face.
The larger-than-usual tub had finished filling by then and Jeeves helped Bertie out of the rest of his clothes and into the tub. As the young master sank into the warm water with a deep sigh, Jeeves flipped a switch that caused the water to bubble and froth. While Bertie relaxed into the aquatic massage, Jeeves removed his own attire and slipped into the water with Bertie. He had every intention of ensuring the young master slept well that night!
3. furries:
The sleek black cat watched from its perch in the tree as the Great Dane terrorized the floppy-eared puppy. At the precisely correct moment, the cat dropped onto the Dane's back with an ear-splitting yowl, claws out. Bellowing with pain, the Great Dane ran off, completely forgetting the puppy. The cat jumped down and made his dignified way back to where the puppy sat whimpering. When he saw the cat coming, the brown-furred puppy turned to run, only to trip on his overlong ears. The cat reached the puppy and, purring, began grooming his fur. After a moment, the puppy relaxed and let the cat take care of him.
4. pirates:
Bertie stared morosely at the tankard of rum in front of him. He was never going to be a proper pirate. He didn't even like rum! "Pardon me, sir? May I join you?"
He stared at the tall, dark, handsome man in front of him for a moment. Hmm, maybe it'd work if he had a good first mate... "Of course! Pull up a chair."
"Very good, sir." The stranger sat down across from Bertie. "My name is Jeeves."
"Wooster, good to meet you!"
5. ...in SPACE!!:
Bertie was never more glad he'd splurged on his own spacecraft than when he and Jeeves needed to escape Ditteredge Planet before Bertie was forced into marriage with the ruler's daughter, Honoria.
6. born another gender:
I reluctantly followed Bingo into the bakery shop where his latest object of adoration worked. As we waited at the counter, he nudged me in the ribs and whispered, "There she is! Isn't she an angel?"
There were two women behind the counter. The one Bingo was staring at was lovely enough, blonde hair pulled back into a neat bun, brown eyes bright and sparkling. Her name badge had 'Meg' printed on it. It was the other one who really caught my eye: at least a head taller, with black hair pulled back into a severe bun and dark blue eyes taking in everything about the shop. Her name badge had 'Regina' printed on it.
7. schoolfic:
"I really couldn't advise it, sir," Jeeves insisted. "You are a young gentleman, therefore destined to attend school. I am merely a servant boy."
"Dash it, Jeeves, you're much brainier than me," Bertie exclaimed. "You should go to school, too! You'll enjoy it much more than me."
"Please do not insist, sir." Jeeves was admittedly tempted by the thought of going to school and learning so much. However, he knew that they would both be teased. "It is for the best. You need to learn to get along with other gentlemen of your class and I need to learn how to be the best valet."
"I don't know how I'll manage without you, Jeeves." Bertie stared at his valet with tears filling his bright blue eyes.
"You must, sir. Change is inevitable." Jeeves closed his arms around Bertie when the younger boy flung himself at the older boy in a tight hug. "When you come home on holiday, you can share what you've learned with me."
"It's better than nothing," Bertie agreed, his cheek resting against Jeeves' shirtfront. "Once I've finished school, though, and found a place of my own, we'll stay together forever."
"I would like nothing better, sir."
8. police/firefighters:
"Reggie! There's one more! A gentleman trapped in 6A!" Reginald resisted the urge to correct his colleague's use of the hated nickname. This was an emergency and not the time for such corrections. He made a mental note to do so at another time.
"I'm on my way already." Reginald shouldered his way through the licking flames, grateful for the heavy uniform and mask that protected him. He soon reached the flat in question and ducked through it, eventually finding the gentleman in question in the bedroom, wearing only his pyjamas, clutching a dressing gown around himself. "Sir! Are you all right?"
"I can't get out!" the gentleman replied, coughing.
Reginald retrieved the spare oxygen mask from his tool belt and helped the man put it on over his nose and mouth. "We can't go back the way we came, but we can go out the window."
"We're several floors up," the gentleman protested, blue eyes beginning to fill with panic. "We won't survive the fall."
"There are ladders, sir," Reginald assured him, moving to the bedroom window to knock out the glass with his ax. He looked out and waved to catch the others' attention. They waved back and he ducked back inside. "Come on, sir. I promise there'll be a ladder."
"All right." The man let Reginald guide him to the window. The firefighter was greatly relieved to see the ladder ready and waiting. "I say, shouldn't you go first?"
"No, you first, sir. I'll be right behind you, I promise." Reginald helped the other man climb out the window and steady himself on the ladder.
Much to his surprise, the gentleman didn't immediately start climbing. He looked right at Reginald and asked, "What's your name?"
"Reginald Jeeves, sir," he replied, a little surprised the man had asked.
"Bertie Wooster." He reached out and solemnly shook Reginald's hand. "Thank you for saving me."
With that, he began to climb down. Just as Reginald was about to climb out the window after him, the ceiling above him collapsed, burying him flaming debris. Dimly, he heard a voice shout, "Reg!" just before blackness consumed him.
9. urban fantasy:
"'Bertram Wooster, Werewolf Hunter' doesn't have quite the right ring to it, does it, Jeeves?" I tapped my pen on the desktop as I thought about it.
"No, sir." Jeeves sat on the Chesterfield, polishing his weapons until the silver blades gleamed. "It doesn't sound credible."
"I suppose 'Reginald Jeeves, Werewolf Hunter' doesn't have the right ring, either?" I watched as he carefully slid his weapons back into their scabbards and set them aside.
He then picked up his shotgun and began to disassemble it in order to give it a thorough cleaning. "No, sir, it does not."
"Ah, well, no one would believe such fantastic stories anyway." I crumpled up the first sheet of paper and tossed it towards the wastebasket. "What should I write about instead?"
"Perhaps the life of a young gentleman who needn't worry about hunting werewolves?" Jeeves glanced at me as he cleaned his shotgun.
"That idea has merit." I thought back to when I'd first hired Jeeves as a valet. "Escaping the soup sounds like much more fun than escaping werewolves."
"Indeed, sir."
10. harem:
"As a sign of my good will, Mr Jeeves, I offer you the pick of my harem." The Persian king nodded to the two servants standing on either side of the doors. They opened the doors to reveal at least a score of beautiful, nubile young women lounging around the room, talking, giggling, or playing some sort of game.
For a moment, the British ambassador was reminded of the girls' school where he'd served as a page before his intellectual talents were discovered and he was educated to work in the Diplomatic Corps. He glanced at the king. "Your Majesty is very kind, but I have no need of such a young lady."
"They are not to your liking?" The king raised an eyebrow and gestured for Jeeves to follow him. He glanced over his shoulder to see the two guards closing the door. He barely managed to stop when the king did, before another set of guarded double doors. "Perhaps you would prefer your choice of these lovelies, then."
He nodded to the guards and they opened the doors. Jeeves was unprepared to find the room beyond filled with at least a score of the most beautiful young men he'd ever seen. Like the women, they were scantily dressed, muscles rippling and flexing under skin as they laughed and playfully wrestled. There was one, however, who drew his eye. Tall and willowy, with a head of unruly honey-blond curls, he sat alone in the corner, his attention on the instrument in his hands. He seemed to sense Jeeves' scrutiny, because he looked up and beautiful blue eyes met his briefly before the young man lowered his gaze demurely. "Most...beautiful."
"Ah, you like Bertie?" The king sounded pleased. "He often plays music for me. It's why I picked him, to tell the truth."
He resisted the urge to shift his stance as his body responded to Bertie's beauty, grateful he'd chosen to wear the loose robes of the Arab people instead of more typical British attire. "He is exquisite, Sire."
"I said you could have your pick and, if Bertie is your pick, then you shall have him." The king sounded a little petulant. "Though, perhaps you'd like to spend some time with him before you make your final decision?"
Jeeves hadn't taken his eyes from Bertie, entranced by the man's beauty and grace as he coaxed beautiful music from his instrument. "Perhaps I should, your majesty."
End