(no subject)
i had a weird dream last night..
i got home from germany ('cause apparently i'd gone to germany for two days, and by home i mean my house in jacksonville) and called steven up. he invited me to come hang out with him and keegan (except it wasn't keegan, it was Kelan -- another guy i know who i was under the impression that he didn't like me) but anyways, so i get invited to go hang out so i say, "mind if i go hang out with steven and kelan?" and they're all "you've been gone for two days, stay home" even though they're watching a movie and i'd just be in my room. i got whiny and pouty so i tried to talk to steven on the house phone. he's all angry about something and keeps mumbling and referencing all of this stuff that happened to his friends (the group i used to hang out with) and i had no idea what he was talking about. then mom needed the house phone and i had to switch to my cell, which made it worse. then i woke up and felt kind of lonely.
i really miss having a group of friends. especially one my boyfriend is a part of as well. i miss it where if he goes out with someone, i'm likely to be invited along because i'm their friend too. i miss having a group i know i can always call somebody from and they're hanging out with more of those people and we can all get together and do big group things. i miss that familiarity, that comfort.
hell, i miss having a standard set of friends i see on a regular basis. the only person i see regularly is brian (which is nice, don't get me wrong) and i'll sporadically hang out with erica and sometimes summer. i see casey, alex, and kim over at the apartment. but that's it. that's the extent of my social circle and while usually i can get by just fine, sometimes those thoughts depress the hell out of me. i'm not even sure i remember how to assimilate myself into a group like that.
with my old group, james invited me (because he had a crush on me) and all my boys from middle school (because they were my friends) to that corner of the cafeteria. it was easier when there was a physical place we could connect with the group and if you were a part of the group, you sat in that place in the morning. there's nothing like that here. maybe it would be easier if i lived on campus? but the nice places are mad expensive, and the dorms are just gross. i like the comfort i live in now.
i spent all of yesterday once i woke up and fed steve playing World of Warcraft. the only people to interrupt me were brian 'cause he wanted to talk to me and see me, and erica 'cause she picked up a shift at work and couldn't go look at apartments with us.
*sigh* friends are hard to make, and harder when you already have a safe place to go.
shaneko.
i got home from germany ('cause apparently i'd gone to germany for two days, and by home i mean my house in jacksonville) and called steven up. he invited me to come hang out with him and keegan (except it wasn't keegan, it was Kelan -- another guy i know who i was under the impression that he didn't like me) but anyways, so i get invited to go hang out so i say, "mind if i go hang out with steven and kelan?" and they're all "you've been gone for two days, stay home" even though they're watching a movie and i'd just be in my room. i got whiny and pouty so i tried to talk to steven on the house phone. he's all angry about something and keeps mumbling and referencing all of this stuff that happened to his friends (the group i used to hang out with) and i had no idea what he was talking about. then mom needed the house phone and i had to switch to my cell, which made it worse. then i woke up and felt kind of lonely.
i really miss having a group of friends. especially one my boyfriend is a part of as well. i miss it where if he goes out with someone, i'm likely to be invited along because i'm their friend too. i miss having a group i know i can always call somebody from and they're hanging out with more of those people and we can all get together and do big group things. i miss that familiarity, that comfort.
hell, i miss having a standard set of friends i see on a regular basis. the only person i see regularly is brian (which is nice, don't get me wrong) and i'll sporadically hang out with erica and sometimes summer. i see casey, alex, and kim over at the apartment. but that's it. that's the extent of my social circle and while usually i can get by just fine, sometimes those thoughts depress the hell out of me. i'm not even sure i remember how to assimilate myself into a group like that.
with my old group, james invited me (because he had a crush on me) and all my boys from middle school (because they were my friends) to that corner of the cafeteria. it was easier when there was a physical place we could connect with the group and if you were a part of the group, you sat in that place in the morning. there's nothing like that here. maybe it would be easier if i lived on campus? but the nice places are mad expensive, and the dorms are just gross. i like the comfort i live in now.
i spent all of yesterday once i woke up and fed steve playing World of Warcraft. the only people to interrupt me were brian 'cause he wanted to talk to me and see me, and erica 'cause she picked up a shift at work and couldn't go look at apartments with us.
*sigh* friends are hard to make, and harder when you already have a safe place to go.
shaneko.