just an old friend coming over now to visit you and that's what i've become
Yeahhhh. I don't know if I really feel like writing or not, but I want to try and write in this despicable thing as much as possible because I've lost touch with a lot of friends and I know this is the only way they keep up with my life, and vice versa.
Em and I are talking again, thank God. She shouldn't have accepted me in her life as a friend again, I wasn't expecting her to anyways, but she did, and I'm glad. I would miss her too much if she wasn't around. It felt like breaking up with a boyfriend when I fought with her the other night. I don't think I've ever had a fight like that with a friend before... probably because I've never had a friend like her before.
Haven't talked to Kevan in over 24 hours. This is v. good news. Except for the fact that I know he didn't go to his cousin's concert last night, because while I was waiting outside for Em to pick me up he drove by my house (obviously not expecting me to SEE HIM spying on me), waved because he was startled to see me, and peeled off into the night. I was surprised Jen wasn't in the car, but what can you do. Obviously he has some kind of strong feelings for me, or he wouldn't be driving by my house, but he's not expressing them clearly enough or kindly enough for me to accept them. Part of me is really struggling with not hearing from him, but a larger and more forceful part of me knows that putting some distance between us will prove beneficial.
Talked to Tilla today, that was awesome. I haven't heard from her in a long time... apparently I was on her friends list and never realized that it was her. Hopefully we'll get to hang out soon, 'cause I thought she was hella cool when I met her and we never really got a chance to know each other that well. And besides, we're both going through crazy drama, so I'm sure we can be a calming influence on each other... or, we could just drive each other nuts by regaling each other with tales of relationships gone sour. Either way, it's great to hear from her.
Trying not to think about Kevan, trying not to think about Kevan.... someone call me and distract me. I'll be out tonight, hopefully getting some nice ganja, but I'm sure he'll be on my mind at some point during the evening. Love you all.
Em and I are talking again, thank God. She shouldn't have accepted me in her life as a friend again, I wasn't expecting her to anyways, but she did, and I'm glad. I would miss her too much if she wasn't around. It felt like breaking up with a boyfriend when I fought with her the other night. I don't think I've ever had a fight like that with a friend before... probably because I've never had a friend like her before.
Haven't talked to Kevan in over 24 hours. This is v. good news. Except for the fact that I know he didn't go to his cousin's concert last night, because while I was waiting outside for Em to pick me up he drove by my house (obviously not expecting me to SEE HIM spying on me), waved because he was startled to see me, and peeled off into the night. I was surprised Jen wasn't in the car, but what can you do. Obviously he has some kind of strong feelings for me, or he wouldn't be driving by my house, but he's not expressing them clearly enough or kindly enough for me to accept them. Part of me is really struggling with not hearing from him, but a larger and more forceful part of me knows that putting some distance between us will prove beneficial.
Talked to Tilla today, that was awesome. I haven't heard from her in a long time... apparently I was on her friends list and never realized that it was her. Hopefully we'll get to hang out soon, 'cause I thought she was hella cool when I met her and we never really got a chance to know each other that well. And besides, we're both going through crazy drama, so I'm sure we can be a calming influence on each other... or, we could just drive each other nuts by regaling each other with tales of relationships gone sour. Either way, it's great to hear from her.
Trying not to think about Kevan, trying not to think about Kevan.... someone call me and distract me. I'll be out tonight, hopefully getting some nice ganja, but I'm sure he'll be on my mind at some point during the evening. Love you all.