Keep You Out of the Bleakness
Title: Keep You Out of the Bleakness
Author: felicias_day
Fandom: Dragon Age
Pairing: TrevalynxCullen Rutherford
Warnings: nightmares, game spoilers, silly stuff
Word Count: 2,000
Love had been rare, a luxury the circle did not allow. Catelyn had been naïve once, and allowed herself to stray from her studies. He was an elf, and an apprentice like her. That adventure had ended poorly, love was something she could not have.
The circle had been her home for most of her life, but she grew tired of the Templar’s especially watchful eyes. It grew worse after the youngest Trevelyan had joined the order. Her mother had begged the Knight Commander to let Catelyn off with a warning, and their son joining the order was the least they could do. Catelyn wanted nothing to do with the order, but the thought that Sam was still with her, in this world, brought her to the Therinfal Redoubt.
The place was full of death. There was no sign of Sam. He could have died long before she arrived, or corrupted by red lyrium. Sam could not have died at the conclave. Catelyn had warned him not to go. He would have listened to her. The possibilities haunted her. The envy demon invaded her mind, but he was not what kept her up at night.
The nightmares were her burden at Haven. No one could hear her fussing in the night. The faces of the inquisition haunted her, the commander scarring her the most. Sometimes she saw Sam corrupted, and foul. She awoke every night terrified, and drenched in sweat.
Skyhold proved troublesome. Lady Josiephine gave her sympathetic looks, but had no advice. Varric was the only one who approached her directly, but he had few comforting thoughts. It seemed everyone talked of her aliments behind her back. They worried for her, but it made her feel like a child. She was their leader, not something to fuss at. The exhaustion prevented her from confronting any of them. She managed disapproving looks when she could feel someone talking of her. It helped.
She had accepted her burden, even attempted to carry it silently. Until one night, in the dark of Catelyn’s room, when she swore Sam stood in the doorway. The night had slipped past her, she was entranced in an old tome, the candle flicking in the dark. She looked up to find no one there. There was outside her door. She took a candle, and made her way downstairs. Skyhold was peaceful at night. It was still, no one but her was here. Catelyn would have given up, and returned to her room, but a Templar stood in the doorway. It looked to be Commander Cullen, but she had never seen him in his Templar attire. She walked closer, and the figure became more familiar.
He wore the same armor as the Ostwick circle. His face was hard to make out in the dark. “Sister,” His voice was low.
“Sam, how are you standing here? I traveled the Therinfal Redoubt, no one has seen you since the conclave,” She ran to her brother, happy to hold him again. He had been her little brother after all, behind the armor.
“I went to the conclave for you sister. Mother wanted me to watch over you,” He stepped into her light. His face was wicked, with protruding deep, red lyrium shone in the light.
“No,” Catelyn backed away, “Everyone died. You couldn’t have been there.”
“Everyone but you, sister. They call you the Herald, but the maker will never forgive your crimes,” He drew his blade. Catelyn searched for something in the dark. He gave her an evil look. She would have to defend herself.
“We can fix you, Coryphaeus has corrupted you,” Catelyn shot magic in the dark. It fell from her hands, like an apprentice struggling to mater their first spell. She did run from her brother.
“Magic does nothing, enough of this,” He was inches from her now, his blade high in the swing. Catelyn ran for the door. She charged into something, knocking her down.
The room was empty, now. She awoke with a floating sensation. She was warm against fur. It was only a dream.
“It’s alright,” The voice was familiar. Cullen had her in his arms, like the man who carried her back from Haven. It felt too familiar, had the Commander carried her back.
“Cullen?” He was a welcome sight. He was warm, and soft, comforting. The nightmares never started like this. “Please, put me down.” The ground was odd under her feet, as if part of her was still asleep.
“Forgive me Inquisitor, the other’s volunteered me to check on you,” Cullen stammered. The contact had left a pink coloring in his cheeks. He did his best to hide that in the dark. “I found you near the door, are you sure you’re alright?”
“I dreamt of these halls, perhaps I’ve been too stubborn not to talk to anyone,” The room did not comfort her. In every dark corner it felt like Sam starred at her.
Cullen hid a concerned look in the darkness. “Are your dreams always intense?”
Catelyn paused in the darkness. “The dreams are full of horrible things, Templars-and what they would have been, are always there. I see my brother, one of Ostiwick’s Templars, but he is always corrupt and different.” She did not want to speak of the Commander in her dream.
“Do they try to hurt you?” Cullen’s words were a whisper in the dark.
“Only when I dream of Sam.”
“Nightmares are difficult, especially when you face them every night,” He soothed. He didn’t speak of it, but there was more to it.
“Cullen, do you have nightmares? Is that why the others sent you?”
Cullen laughed, “I don’t think so, Lady Josiephine and Leliana only meant to tease-,” He stammered off, “But yes, I have faced nightmares before.”
She knew why they sent him. They had teased him in the war room when she entered. She had thought nothing of it, but now it was clear. “How do you soothe them?” Catelyn was closer to him now. He was unlike any Templar at the circle. He was sweet to her. He treated her with respect, even when discussing magic.
“Poorly,” Cullen joked, but his laughter stopped as he spoke, “The absence of lyrium does not help.”
“That would mean you’re no longer a Templar,” Catelyn knew few Templars who had tried to kick their lyrium habit after the rebellion. They always seemed to give in after the withdrawal became too much to handle. “I think I can sleep again, thank you Cullen.” She placed her hand on his shoulder.
“Of course, Inquisitor, it was no trouble, really. I’ll leave you to your rest,” Cullen turned towards the door.
“Please call me Catelyn, Inquisitor is far too formal,” She called out to him in the dark.
“I- Goodnight Lady Catelyn,” He smiled and took his leave.
The night air was crisp as she returned to her room. She felt warmth that seemed to overwhelm her. The peacefulness of the moment seemed to fade as she feigned sleep. The feeling that someone was there did not pass. If Skyhold would be her home, she would have to grow used to this room.
Author: felicias_day
Fandom: Dragon Age
Pairing: TrevalynxCullen Rutherford
Warnings: nightmares, game spoilers, silly stuff
Word Count: 2,000
Love had been rare, a luxury the circle did not allow. Catelyn had been naïve once, and allowed herself to stray from her studies. He was an elf, and an apprentice like her. That adventure had ended poorly, love was something she could not have.
The circle had been her home for most of her life, but she grew tired of the Templar’s especially watchful eyes. It grew worse after the youngest Trevelyan had joined the order. Her mother had begged the Knight Commander to let Catelyn off with a warning, and their son joining the order was the least they could do. Catelyn wanted nothing to do with the order, but the thought that Sam was still with her, in this world, brought her to the Therinfal Redoubt.
The place was full of death. There was no sign of Sam. He could have died long before she arrived, or corrupted by red lyrium. Sam could not have died at the conclave. Catelyn had warned him not to go. He would have listened to her. The possibilities haunted her. The envy demon invaded her mind, but he was not what kept her up at night.
The nightmares were her burden at Haven. No one could hear her fussing in the night. The faces of the inquisition haunted her, the commander scarring her the most. Sometimes she saw Sam corrupted, and foul. She awoke every night terrified, and drenched in sweat.
Skyhold proved troublesome. Lady Josiephine gave her sympathetic looks, but had no advice. Varric was the only one who approached her directly, but he had few comforting thoughts. It seemed everyone talked of her aliments behind her back. They worried for her, but it made her feel like a child. She was their leader, not something to fuss at. The exhaustion prevented her from confronting any of them. She managed disapproving looks when she could feel someone talking of her. It helped.
She had accepted her burden, even attempted to carry it silently. Until one night, in the dark of Catelyn’s room, when she swore Sam stood in the doorway. The night had slipped past her, she was entranced in an old tome, the candle flicking in the dark. She looked up to find no one there. There was outside her door. She took a candle, and made her way downstairs. Skyhold was peaceful at night. It was still, no one but her was here. Catelyn would have given up, and returned to her room, but a Templar stood in the doorway. It looked to be Commander Cullen, but she had never seen him in his Templar attire. She walked closer, and the figure became more familiar.
He wore the same armor as the Ostwick circle. His face was hard to make out in the dark. “Sister,” His voice was low.
“Sam, how are you standing here? I traveled the Therinfal Redoubt, no one has seen you since the conclave,” She ran to her brother, happy to hold him again. He had been her little brother after all, behind the armor.
“I went to the conclave for you sister. Mother wanted me to watch over you,” He stepped into her light. His face was wicked, with protruding deep, red lyrium shone in the light.
“No,” Catelyn backed away, “Everyone died. You couldn’t have been there.”
“Everyone but you, sister. They call you the Herald, but the maker will never forgive your crimes,” He drew his blade. Catelyn searched for something in the dark. He gave her an evil look. She would have to defend herself.
“We can fix you, Coryphaeus has corrupted you,” Catelyn shot magic in the dark. It fell from her hands, like an apprentice struggling to mater their first spell. She did run from her brother.
“Magic does nothing, enough of this,” He was inches from her now, his blade high in the swing. Catelyn ran for the door. She charged into something, knocking her down.
The room was empty, now. She awoke with a floating sensation. She was warm against fur. It was only a dream.
“It’s alright,” The voice was familiar. Cullen had her in his arms, like the man who carried her back from Haven. It felt too familiar, had the Commander carried her back.
“Cullen?” He was a welcome sight. He was warm, and soft, comforting. The nightmares never started like this. “Please, put me down.” The ground was odd under her feet, as if part of her was still asleep.
“Forgive me Inquisitor, the other’s volunteered me to check on you,” Cullen stammered. The contact had left a pink coloring in his cheeks. He did his best to hide that in the dark. “I found you near the door, are you sure you’re alright?”
“I dreamt of these halls, perhaps I’ve been too stubborn not to talk to anyone,” The room did not comfort her. In every dark corner it felt like Sam starred at her.
Cullen hid a concerned look in the darkness. “Are your dreams always intense?”
Catelyn paused in the darkness. “The dreams are full of horrible things, Templars-and what they would have been, are always there. I see my brother, one of Ostiwick’s Templars, but he is always corrupt and different.” She did not want to speak of the Commander in her dream.
“Do they try to hurt you?” Cullen’s words were a whisper in the dark.
“Only when I dream of Sam.”
“Nightmares are difficult, especially when you face them every night,” He soothed. He didn’t speak of it, but there was more to it.
“Cullen, do you have nightmares? Is that why the others sent you?”
Cullen laughed, “I don’t think so, Lady Josiephine and Leliana only meant to tease-,” He stammered off, “But yes, I have faced nightmares before.”
She knew why they sent him. They had teased him in the war room when she entered. She had thought nothing of it, but now it was clear. “How do you soothe them?” Catelyn was closer to him now. He was unlike any Templar at the circle. He was sweet to her. He treated her with respect, even when discussing magic.
“Poorly,” Cullen joked, but his laughter stopped as he spoke, “The absence of lyrium does not help.”
“That would mean you’re no longer a Templar,” Catelyn knew few Templars who had tried to kick their lyrium habit after the rebellion. They always seemed to give in after the withdrawal became too much to handle. “I think I can sleep again, thank you Cullen.” She placed her hand on his shoulder.
“Of course, Inquisitor, it was no trouble, really. I’ll leave you to your rest,” Cullen turned towards the door.
“Please call me Catelyn, Inquisitor is far too formal,” She called out to him in the dark.
“I- Goodnight Lady Catelyn,” He smiled and took his leave.
The night air was crisp as she returned to her room. She felt warmth that seemed to overwhelm her. The peacefulness of the moment seemed to fade as she feigned sleep. The feeling that someone was there did not pass. If Skyhold would be her home, she would have to grow used to this room.