Me, trying to help (with apologies to far greater writers)
Me: *Reads post asking for contest tiebreaker voting*
Me: *Happily votes to break tie*
Me: *Is shown that my vote produced a tie*
Me: *headdesk*
Seriously, this happens to me like every. single. time. Can't break ties no matter what I do. I tie ties. I'm a tie-tyer. Tie-knotter. Not a tie-breaker. (I've exhausted my bad puns. Finally. Mercifully.)
In the words of Paul Auster:
It was a LJ feed intended for the su_herald that started it, the watchlist scrolling in the dead of night, and the post in the midst of the watchlist asking for someone she was not (a voter who would *break* a tie, obvs).
Jane Austen:
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a LJ comm in possession of a tie, must be in want of aNY VOTER BUT FELICIACRAFT.
J. D. Salinger:
If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where she went voting, and what her lousy vote was, and how her mind was preoccupied and all before she voted, and all that Bush-Gore kind of crap, but it probably doesn't make any difference, if you want to know the truth.
Charles Dickens:
It was the best of ties, it was the worst of ties, it was the vote of wisdom, it was the vote of foolishness, it was the exercise of belief, it was the exercise of incredulity, it was the act of help, it was the act of helplessness, it was the round of hope, it was the round of despair, and all ruined by feliciacraft.
James Joyce:
Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a voter coming down along the road and this voter that was coming down along the road met a nicent little voting round named-it didn't matter because feliciacraft voted it into a tie. End of story.
Edith Wharton:
I had the votes, bit by bit, from various people, and, as generally happens in such cases, each time it produced a different winner. If you know feliciacraft, you know the way she voted. If you know the way she voted, you must have heard tales of the tiebreakers she did not break: you must have asked what kind of voter she was.
Virginia Woolf:
Mrs. Dalloway said she would cast the vote herself (after seeing what you've managed to not manage, my dear).
William Gaddis:
Justice?-You get justice in the next world, in this world you have voters like feliciacraft.
Kurt Vonnegut:
All this happened, more or less.
Ford Madox Ford:
This is the saddest story I have ever heard.
(Can you tell that I'm procrastinating?)
Anyway, to use my power for good and not just for laughs, you should go vote the tie-breaker for Challenge 60 at SlayerStillness. See this post I wrote? Totally being a productive, constructive member of the fandom...