Dean/Cas Big Bang - I Do(not) Want to Set the World on Fire 4/10
Part 1: Worldly Acclaim (I've Lost All) | Part 2: I'm Dreaming Of (the Goal) | Part 3: Admission (and with Your)
Dean wakens with a start, blinking as he sits up in his own bed. The only sign that what happened to him wasn’t part of some messed up dream was the bloodied hospital scrubs he still wore, the irradiated dust and rocks still in his feet, and the blue-eyed man sitting naked in the chair near him.
Wait, WHAT?
Dean’s moves a bit away before he remembers everything. Being held by Alastair, and what happened there. Escaping after Azazel came in to taunt him, and killing the yellow-eyed bastard when he did. The huge church, still in-tact, reading “Church of God and his Angels”, with a few stained glass windows up and not broken, and the littering of blackened bodies and skeletons, strange burns on the ground or wall behind them, like the ashes of wings.
Dean swallows, his throat dry as he looked at the man before him. He’s naked, his skin pale in comparison to his dark hair, and his eyes and unearthly blue, the color he only saw in old books about the sky and sea, before the War. It’s blue like a Mirelurk’s shell, or the glow of a Nuka Cola Quantum, but unearthly and it makes Dean both nervous and anxious. He knows there were others, but doesn’t remember them clearly. He knows Alastair was there, but ran when the man (angel…Castiel) arrived, and that the angel had healed him. He knows they said…something…but can’t for the life of him remember what it was or why it’s important.
Dean shivers again and the angel frowns, shifting and reaching out to Dean. Dean doesn’t know why he’s still panicking, moving away and saying, “I…who…what happened?” He realizes that they’re back in Megaton when the compound and church might have been at least a day or two from there, up near Oasis and some other places near the northern edge of the map, on the way to the Pitt.
“I Saved you,” the angel said, “my name is Castiel.”
Dean swallowed again, suddenly feeling like he needed to get out of the clothing that was only a visceral reminder of the past few…days? Weeks? He doesn’t know, and is shaking a bit as he pulls out the old suit from Vault 101, picking out a slightly dirty suit and old, tanned trench coat to shove at Castiel. “Put these on.”
Castiel blinks, looking at the objects with some confusion before taking each object and looking at them while Dean pulled off the scrubs as quickly as he could, wondering if he could get Wadsworth to destroy them or use them to start a fire in the oven and cook something. Anything that ends up with them destroyed.
The jumpsuit is a bit itchy, and Castiel manages to get on the suit without any help, putting on the trenchcoat easily and standing, shifting a bit in the clothing and looking over at Dean as he paused in putting on the jumpsuit, looking at the only scar on his body right now. A handprint burn, one that he’s glad is hidden from view by most of his clothing, is something he both wants to prod but also is afraid of showing off or advertising. He pulls up the shoulder and closes the suit, looking over at Cas and shifting a bit before coughing and saying, “Um…I’m going to get something to eat. Do you want anything?”
“I don’t need to eat.”
Dean shifts and walks out, getting a cold Nuka Cola from the vending machine that he bought from Moira a while ago and frowning at the juke box, which was apparently still on. He thought he’d turned it off when he left.
Castiel follows him downstairs as Wadsworth moves over to look at them both before saying to Dean, “Good morning, sir. How can I help you today?”
Dean shifted a bit, taking a drink of the Nuka Cola before saying, “Um, there’s some scrubs upstairs…like them destroyed. And if I could get some purified water, that’d be great.”
Wadsworth nodded, handing Dean a small bottle of clean water before heading upstairs, avoiding Cas as he did. Dean moved to kitchen, frowning as Cas followed him and downing the rest of the Cola before asking, “Why are you here, man?”
“I am Castiel,” Cas says, getting Dean to sigh and look over at the fridge, pulling out something to heat up and starting the oven. Lucky him that ovens were starting to work again, or at least let him cook up some stuff.
“Didn’t answer my question,” Dean muttered, putting the squirrel and iguana bits in the oven to cook up.
“I Saved you,” Cas replies, almost sounding like a broken record, “you are the Righteous One, who’s arrival signals the start that will lead us to Paradise.”
Dean closes the oven and looks at Castiel, as if staring down a guy that doesn’t blink will explain the insane thought.
“Why the hell would I be the Righteous…anything?”
Castiel seems confused by that argument, tilting his head as Dean begins to feel agitated, shifting in place and trying to focus on something besides Castiel’s confused look that’s far too sincere.
“I’m not,” Dean mutters, looking away, “I’m broken. It’s not like I do anything right, anyway, so what’s the point of calling me that?”
Castiel is silent again before asking, “Do you know Proverbs?” Dean shakes his head, unable to look at the angel, but feeling him nearby, standing close to him in a way that should be uncomfortable, but strangely isn’t. “A righteous man falls but rises again, while the wicked stumble at disasters. They take no thrill in crushing their enemies, nor do they remain struck down. For all you may protest, it describes you well. I also saw pieces of your memories…you are the one that Three Dog and Loki acknowledge as righteous, as a generous and kind man. You have done much for the Wasteland, allowed them to believe in good again.”
Dean looks back at Castiel, some part of him happy to hear the praise, but another part screaming out his sins. He let Doctor Milligan die (what will Adam think? He doesn’t have a mom now, because of me…he’s alone), he was ready to shoot the Overseer when he let the security chief threaten Jess (would’ve let Amata pull the trigger, use the gun she tried to give him when left in a crazed Vault), he was willing to shoot his Dad (how can that be righteous, to threaten your own dad? Or how I thought of him, before and after the Memorial? Dad did his best, he was raising us right. I screwed up all of that, it was all my fault). How was any of that right? Hell, half the time the Regulators, the real righteous ones, couldn’t stand him. Simms only tolerated him because of the bomb, and Hendriksen was fine with him because Dean’d helped him with that Lilith slaver-bitch. Not to mention what he did to those ghouls that just wanted to live in Tenpenny Tower. How the hell had that gotten out of hand so quickly? How was that righteous?
Castiel seems to see all of his doubts, reaching out to touch Dean over the handprint, the contact oddly soothing as Castiel’s wings spread out and surround them, seeming to block out all other things. The wings are black, like they had been hurt and healed as shadow instead of light. But they suited him, reminding Dean of dark nights in the Wastes when he was moving between two areas and couldn’t find a good place to sleep, or of peaceful areas with no roofs that let him look up at the stars.
“Believe me, even if you cannot see yourself as that. I see you as good, as important. I will not be able to listen to your imagined or real sins, not without feeling you judge yourself too harshly. You are human, and flawed. In this, though, you still rise above those flaws, and it makes you better than those that fail to do so, or do not acknowledge them as flaws.”
Dean allowed himself to stay in the cocoon of feathers, the muted feeling from where Castiel placed his hand steadying him from the problems threatening to overwhelm him. He isn’t sure what he did to earn Castiel’s respect like that, and for now he’s glad to have it, even if some part of him whispers it won’t last.
Dean manages to step away and Cas moves his wings back just in time to take out the reheated bits, Dean offering one to Cas. The angel shakes his head, and doesn’t comment on Dean devouring the bits as quickly as he can. He didn’t realize how hungry he was, but now that he started eating and drinking, he suddenly realizes how long it’s been since he had proper food.
He’s raiding the kitchen again, Cas now looking around at the books and other items in the room when the door opens quickly, revealing Charlie and Sheriff Simms, guns drawn and glaring at Cas just as Dean jumps and runs to the front, very aware of his lack of weapons. But he’d felt safe with Cas there, and just to be back home. He hadn’t really expected anyone to burst in.
The two stop, startled by Dean, before Charlie recovers enough to yell, “DEAN!” and race to him, squeezing him hard as Simms blinks, his eyes still trained on Castiel, who appears confused by Charlie’s reaction. At least some things didn’t change.
“Charlie, I need to breath.”
It gets the redhead to let go of him a bit before she lets out a breathless “you’realiveIcan’tbelieveitImeanIcanbutholyAtomyou’realiveweallthoughtyouweredeadandyourdad’sacompleteasshatbythewayandMoirawasrighttonotsellthisplaceandhowareyoualive?AllweheardaboutitwastherewasallthisradiationandtheEnclavetookoveronlyit’snottheEnclaveit’stheseotherguysand--”
“Charlie, breathe,” Simms says, getting her to take in a breath and let it out before saying, “I’m going to round up Ellen, Jo, and Bobby. You have a lot to explain.”
Dean swallowed but nodded, Charlie frowning as Simms left them alone before pointing to Cas. “Ok, who’s he and why’s he here?”
--
Dean’s uncomfortable with the hugs from the new people, as well as the questions. He’s still recovering, and Castiel decides to stay near him, watching it play out like a sort of documentary on wildlife. He was different from humans, though he look like them, and so did not quite understand what they did or why. He saw that they all were kind, and wanted to make sure Dean was alright, though Dean seemed confused by the worry as well as thankful for it.
Much of Dean’s anxiety comes from learning how long he’s been held, and about what transpired during his supposed ‘death’. Castiel doesn’t quite understand all of it, but he also knows about the various places and people from the traces of memory that healing Dean (Saving him) had left within Castiel. Dean is worried about his brother, and the length of time they’ve been away from each other. Despite being angry at his father, Dean was also worried about him and what might happen to him.
Castiel could also tell that the others were wary of him. Dean had introduced him as ‘Cas’, and not elaborated more than to say that Castiel had helped him get away from the break-off of the Enclave, which the man called Alastair apparently belonged to.
Right now, Castiel was wary as well. News was ones that suggested Dean was the Righteous One, and that Father’s prophecy was true, made him worried for his siblings. He didn’t know if they would take this news well or not, let alone if they would leave Heaven to fulfill Father’s final revelation. Castiel was certain that Dean would be important to the creation of Paradise and the flowing of the Waters of Life, but so far Dean had been defensive and angry by the suggestion he was even the Righteous One.
The group leaves after a few hours, Dean remaining seated at the table and contemplating what had been said. Castiel moved to his side, shifting to put a wing around Dean’s shoulder. Dean seemed able to see Castiel’s wings, and it was obvious that, for all his worries, he didn’t mind Castiel’s lack of human anything. Instead, he smiled a bit, looking over to Castiel with saddened eyes. “Sorry, just...four months. Shit.”
“I am sorry for that loss of time.”
“Sammy could be anywhere. Dad could too, but...” he stopped himself. “We need to go talk to the Regulators, and to the Brotherhood.”
Castiel frowned, confused. “Why?”
“Those...bastards, the ones that Alastair belonged to, have Project Purity. Who knows what they plan to do with it? And they have...” he swallowed, the dark pieces of memory shifting and threatening to overwhelm Dean before he viciously shoved them away. “I dunno how they didn’t launch a full-scale assault already. I guess I’m glad they didn’t, or they’re getting really prepared, but...” He sighed. “If what Charlie heard about the Brotherhood is true, then hopefully it’ll be an even match, or not as one-sided.”
“Do you truly think the two joined together?” From what little Castiel could glean from talk about them, the Enclave and Brotherhood of Steel were often on opposite sides of the other, trying hard to control the old technology or to impose their ideals. The Brotherhood here was apparently also hoping to impose order and a sense of security in the Capital Wasteland, while the Enclave wanted people to believe everything was alright, while they worked in secret. If they are in an alliance, that is simply one more sign of Dean being the Righteous One. His actions, in a sense, had made it possible for them to join together against a common foe, and Dean’s return meant they had an outsider who could mediate any agreement if there were problems.
“When do we leave?”
Dean looks at Castiel, who stares back, before letting out a sigh. “In a day or two. It’s a long walk, and I’m not sure what else we might run into on our way there, if those Enclave bastards are making trouble now.”
It’s not long after that when Dean stumbles back upstairs, falling asleep almost instantly. Castiel sits and watches over him, grateful that, if anything, the knowledge that he’s safe and with friends had chased most of the nightmares away.
Dean takes him around Megaton the next day, introducing him to a few others. He frowns at Confessor Cromwell and his church, confused by their worship, and glares at the oil-stained souls of Moriarty and his ‘business partner’, Crowley. Charlie is happy to see them, as is another woman, Moira, at what’s called Craterside Supply. Charlie seems a bit shy around Castiel, while Moira shows off a few things to Dean before they begin haggling and trading for items. By the time Castiel and Dean return, Dean has a newer, more durable outfit, as well as some items for the trip, in case they are hurt. Castiel had protested that he could heal whatever wounds Dean got, but Dean had said that he didn’t want Castiel to be left exposed or worried about him. Castiel can guess that this is Dean slowly returning to himself since their arrival at Megaton, but it’s also obvious that this is dangerous for Dean. The dark patches are still there, not healing but seeming to be incorporated into his being, and it worries Castiel that, for all he Saved Dean and healed him, these things still remain.
Perhaps he uses his Grace in a wrong way? Castiel doubted it, as he’d done what was only natural. He’s not sure what else he could do.
Part 5: Flame (Just Want to Start)
Dean wakens with a start, blinking as he sits up in his own bed. The only sign that what happened to him wasn’t part of some messed up dream was the bloodied hospital scrubs he still wore, the irradiated dust and rocks still in his feet, and the blue-eyed man sitting naked in the chair near him.
Wait, WHAT?
Dean’s moves a bit away before he remembers everything. Being held by Alastair, and what happened there. Escaping after Azazel came in to taunt him, and killing the yellow-eyed bastard when he did. The huge church, still in-tact, reading “Church of God and his Angels”, with a few stained glass windows up and not broken, and the littering of blackened bodies and skeletons, strange burns on the ground or wall behind them, like the ashes of wings.
Dean swallows, his throat dry as he looked at the man before him. He’s naked, his skin pale in comparison to his dark hair, and his eyes and unearthly blue, the color he only saw in old books about the sky and sea, before the War. It’s blue like a Mirelurk’s shell, or the glow of a Nuka Cola Quantum, but unearthly and it makes Dean both nervous and anxious. He knows there were others, but doesn’t remember them clearly. He knows Alastair was there, but ran when the man (angel…Castiel) arrived, and that the angel had healed him. He knows they said…something…but can’t for the life of him remember what it was or why it’s important.
Dean shivers again and the angel frowns, shifting and reaching out to Dean. Dean doesn’t know why he’s still panicking, moving away and saying, “I…who…what happened?” He realizes that they’re back in Megaton when the compound and church might have been at least a day or two from there, up near Oasis and some other places near the northern edge of the map, on the way to the Pitt.
“I Saved you,” the angel said, “my name is Castiel.”
Dean swallowed again, suddenly feeling like he needed to get out of the clothing that was only a visceral reminder of the past few…days? Weeks? He doesn’t know, and is shaking a bit as he pulls out the old suit from Vault 101, picking out a slightly dirty suit and old, tanned trench coat to shove at Castiel. “Put these on.”
Castiel blinks, looking at the objects with some confusion before taking each object and looking at them while Dean pulled off the scrubs as quickly as he could, wondering if he could get Wadsworth to destroy them or use them to start a fire in the oven and cook something. Anything that ends up with them destroyed.
The jumpsuit is a bit itchy, and Castiel manages to get on the suit without any help, putting on the trenchcoat easily and standing, shifting a bit in the clothing and looking over at Dean as he paused in putting on the jumpsuit, looking at the only scar on his body right now. A handprint burn, one that he’s glad is hidden from view by most of his clothing, is something he both wants to prod but also is afraid of showing off or advertising. He pulls up the shoulder and closes the suit, looking over at Cas and shifting a bit before coughing and saying, “Um…I’m going to get something to eat. Do you want anything?”
“I don’t need to eat.”
Dean shifts and walks out, getting a cold Nuka Cola from the vending machine that he bought from Moira a while ago and frowning at the juke box, which was apparently still on. He thought he’d turned it off when he left.
Castiel follows him downstairs as Wadsworth moves over to look at them both before saying to Dean, “Good morning, sir. How can I help you today?”
Dean shifted a bit, taking a drink of the Nuka Cola before saying, “Um, there’s some scrubs upstairs…like them destroyed. And if I could get some purified water, that’d be great.”
Wadsworth nodded, handing Dean a small bottle of clean water before heading upstairs, avoiding Cas as he did. Dean moved to kitchen, frowning as Cas followed him and downing the rest of the Cola before asking, “Why are you here, man?”
“I am Castiel,” Cas says, getting Dean to sigh and look over at the fridge, pulling out something to heat up and starting the oven. Lucky him that ovens were starting to work again, or at least let him cook up some stuff.
“Didn’t answer my question,” Dean muttered, putting the squirrel and iguana bits in the oven to cook up.
“I Saved you,” Cas replies, almost sounding like a broken record, “you are the Righteous One, who’s arrival signals the start that will lead us to Paradise.”
Dean closes the oven and looks at Castiel, as if staring down a guy that doesn’t blink will explain the insane thought.
“Why the hell would I be the Righteous…anything?”
Castiel seems confused by that argument, tilting his head as Dean begins to feel agitated, shifting in place and trying to focus on something besides Castiel’s confused look that’s far too sincere.
“I’m not,” Dean mutters, looking away, “I’m broken. It’s not like I do anything right, anyway, so what’s the point of calling me that?”
Castiel is silent again before asking, “Do you know Proverbs?” Dean shakes his head, unable to look at the angel, but feeling him nearby, standing close to him in a way that should be uncomfortable, but strangely isn’t. “A righteous man falls but rises again, while the wicked stumble at disasters. They take no thrill in crushing their enemies, nor do they remain struck down. For all you may protest, it describes you well. I also saw pieces of your memories…you are the one that Three Dog and Loki acknowledge as righteous, as a generous and kind man. You have done much for the Wasteland, allowed them to believe in good again.”
Dean looks back at Castiel, some part of him happy to hear the praise, but another part screaming out his sins. He let Doctor Milligan die (what will Adam think? He doesn’t have a mom now, because of me…he’s alone), he was ready to shoot the Overseer when he let the security chief threaten Jess (would’ve let Amata pull the trigger, use the gun she tried to give him when left in a crazed Vault), he was willing to shoot his Dad (how can that be righteous, to threaten your own dad? Or how I thought of him, before and after the Memorial? Dad did his best, he was raising us right. I screwed up all of that, it was all my fault). How was any of that right? Hell, half the time the Regulators, the real righteous ones, couldn’t stand him. Simms only tolerated him because of the bomb, and Hendriksen was fine with him because Dean’d helped him with that Lilith slaver-bitch. Not to mention what he did to those ghouls that just wanted to live in Tenpenny Tower. How the hell had that gotten out of hand so quickly? How was that righteous?
Castiel seems to see all of his doubts, reaching out to touch Dean over the handprint, the contact oddly soothing as Castiel’s wings spread out and surround them, seeming to block out all other things. The wings are black, like they had been hurt and healed as shadow instead of light. But they suited him, reminding Dean of dark nights in the Wastes when he was moving between two areas and couldn’t find a good place to sleep, or of peaceful areas with no roofs that let him look up at the stars.
“Believe me, even if you cannot see yourself as that. I see you as good, as important. I will not be able to listen to your imagined or real sins, not without feeling you judge yourself too harshly. You are human, and flawed. In this, though, you still rise above those flaws, and it makes you better than those that fail to do so, or do not acknowledge them as flaws.”
Dean allowed himself to stay in the cocoon of feathers, the muted feeling from where Castiel placed his hand steadying him from the problems threatening to overwhelm him. He isn’t sure what he did to earn Castiel’s respect like that, and for now he’s glad to have it, even if some part of him whispers it won’t last.
Dean manages to step away and Cas moves his wings back just in time to take out the reheated bits, Dean offering one to Cas. The angel shakes his head, and doesn’t comment on Dean devouring the bits as quickly as he can. He didn’t realize how hungry he was, but now that he started eating and drinking, he suddenly realizes how long it’s been since he had proper food.
He’s raiding the kitchen again, Cas now looking around at the books and other items in the room when the door opens quickly, revealing Charlie and Sheriff Simms, guns drawn and glaring at Cas just as Dean jumps and runs to the front, very aware of his lack of weapons. But he’d felt safe with Cas there, and just to be back home. He hadn’t really expected anyone to burst in.
The two stop, startled by Dean, before Charlie recovers enough to yell, “DEAN!” and race to him, squeezing him hard as Simms blinks, his eyes still trained on Castiel, who appears confused by Charlie’s reaction. At least some things didn’t change.
“Charlie, I need to breath.”
It gets the redhead to let go of him a bit before she lets out a breathless “you’realiveIcan’tbelieveitImeanIcanbutholyAtomyou’realiveweallthoughtyouweredeadandyourdad’sacompleteasshatbythewayandMoirawasrighttonotsellthisplaceandhowareyoualive?AllweheardaboutitwastherewasallthisradiationandtheEnclavetookoveronlyit’snottheEnclaveit’stheseotherguysand--”
“Charlie, breathe,” Simms says, getting her to take in a breath and let it out before saying, “I’m going to round up Ellen, Jo, and Bobby. You have a lot to explain.”
Dean swallowed but nodded, Charlie frowning as Simms left them alone before pointing to Cas. “Ok, who’s he and why’s he here?”
--
Dean’s uncomfortable with the hugs from the new people, as well as the questions. He’s still recovering, and Castiel decides to stay near him, watching it play out like a sort of documentary on wildlife. He was different from humans, though he look like them, and so did not quite understand what they did or why. He saw that they all were kind, and wanted to make sure Dean was alright, though Dean seemed confused by the worry as well as thankful for it.
Much of Dean’s anxiety comes from learning how long he’s been held, and about what transpired during his supposed ‘death’. Castiel doesn’t quite understand all of it, but he also knows about the various places and people from the traces of memory that healing Dean (Saving him) had left within Castiel. Dean is worried about his brother, and the length of time they’ve been away from each other. Despite being angry at his father, Dean was also worried about him and what might happen to him.
Castiel could also tell that the others were wary of him. Dean had introduced him as ‘Cas’, and not elaborated more than to say that Castiel had helped him get away from the break-off of the Enclave, which the man called Alastair apparently belonged to.
Right now, Castiel was wary as well. News was ones that suggested Dean was the Righteous One, and that Father’s prophecy was true, made him worried for his siblings. He didn’t know if they would take this news well or not, let alone if they would leave Heaven to fulfill Father’s final revelation. Castiel was certain that Dean would be important to the creation of Paradise and the flowing of the Waters of Life, but so far Dean had been defensive and angry by the suggestion he was even the Righteous One.
The group leaves after a few hours, Dean remaining seated at the table and contemplating what had been said. Castiel moved to his side, shifting to put a wing around Dean’s shoulder. Dean seemed able to see Castiel’s wings, and it was obvious that, for all his worries, he didn’t mind Castiel’s lack of human anything. Instead, he smiled a bit, looking over to Castiel with saddened eyes. “Sorry, just...four months. Shit.”
“I am sorry for that loss of time.”
“Sammy could be anywhere. Dad could too, but...” he stopped himself. “We need to go talk to the Regulators, and to the Brotherhood.”
Castiel frowned, confused. “Why?”
“Those...bastards, the ones that Alastair belonged to, have Project Purity. Who knows what they plan to do with it? And they have...” he swallowed, the dark pieces of memory shifting and threatening to overwhelm Dean before he viciously shoved them away. “I dunno how they didn’t launch a full-scale assault already. I guess I’m glad they didn’t, or they’re getting really prepared, but...” He sighed. “If what Charlie heard about the Brotherhood is true, then hopefully it’ll be an even match, or not as one-sided.”
“Do you truly think the two joined together?” From what little Castiel could glean from talk about them, the Enclave and Brotherhood of Steel were often on opposite sides of the other, trying hard to control the old technology or to impose their ideals. The Brotherhood here was apparently also hoping to impose order and a sense of security in the Capital Wasteland, while the Enclave wanted people to believe everything was alright, while they worked in secret. If they are in an alliance, that is simply one more sign of Dean being the Righteous One. His actions, in a sense, had made it possible for them to join together against a common foe, and Dean’s return meant they had an outsider who could mediate any agreement if there were problems.
“When do we leave?”
Dean looks at Castiel, who stares back, before letting out a sigh. “In a day or two. It’s a long walk, and I’m not sure what else we might run into on our way there, if those Enclave bastards are making trouble now.”
It’s not long after that when Dean stumbles back upstairs, falling asleep almost instantly. Castiel sits and watches over him, grateful that, if anything, the knowledge that he’s safe and with friends had chased most of the nightmares away.
Dean takes him around Megaton the next day, introducing him to a few others. He frowns at Confessor Cromwell and his church, confused by their worship, and glares at the oil-stained souls of Moriarty and his ‘business partner’, Crowley. Charlie is happy to see them, as is another woman, Moira, at what’s called Craterside Supply. Charlie seems a bit shy around Castiel, while Moira shows off a few things to Dean before they begin haggling and trading for items. By the time Castiel and Dean return, Dean has a newer, more durable outfit, as well as some items for the trip, in case they are hurt. Castiel had protested that he could heal whatever wounds Dean got, but Dean had said that he didn’t want Castiel to be left exposed or worried about him. Castiel can guess that this is Dean slowly returning to himself since their arrival at Megaton, but it’s also obvious that this is dangerous for Dean. The dark patches are still there, not healing but seeming to be incorporated into his being, and it worries Castiel that, for all he Saved Dean and healed him, these things still remain.
Perhaps he uses his Grace in a wrong way? Castiel doubted it, as he’d done what was only natural. He’s not sure what else he could do.
Part 5: Flame (Just Want to Start)