(no subject)
i realized today after my conversation with jenna today that i hate this time of year. i always wish i had someone to spend it with and i know that is so cliche but it's truly how i feel. i love talking to her, we always have the best conversations because we're pretty much inside eachothers heads, like if i'm feeling a certain way she can describe how i'm feeling so much better than i can myself. i learn new things about myself everytime i talk to her. i'm so confused about everything, i don't know if i want to be in a relationship, like theres certain aspects of having a boyfriend that i love and others i hate. i just have to find someone thats like exactly what i want, but what are the chances of that happening. i find it so strange that i'm almost 16 and i don't even talk to guys. the only guys i talk to are my really close guy friends, but their just my friends and thats all i think of them as and other guys i talk to its just a simple "hey, whats up?" it's impossible for me to like someone or for someone to like me considering i don't even talk to any guys. it's so frustrating and i hate writing entries where it sounds like i'm just feeling sorry for myself because honestly i don't. it's so hard to explain, maybe jenna should write this entry for me because she could probably do a better job telling you how i feel than i can myself. the only way i can explain it is that, i know i want someone i just don't know who that someone is and i don't know where that person is or when i'll ever find him. i don't even have anyone in mind because once again i don't talk to guys.
another thing that has been on my mind alot is the whole moving situation. if i do have to move at the end of this school year, i pray to god that i can go to a different school district. i love my friends i have here, but i just feel that i need to start over. no one besides a few people really know me or what i'm about. everyone has the wrong impression of me and because of that no one will take the time to even get to know me. i just want a new start in a new place. i don't have problems here that i'm trying to run away from because everything is fine right where i am. i just need a change, change is always good, right?
another thing that has been on my mind alot is the whole moving situation. if i do have to move at the end of this school year, i pray to god that i can go to a different school district. i love my friends i have here, but i just feel that i need to start over. no one besides a few people really know me or what i'm about. everyone has the wrong impression of me and because of that no one will take the time to even get to know me. i just want a new start in a new place. i don't have problems here that i'm trying to run away from because everything is fine right where i am. i just need a change, change is always good, right?