This warrants an LJ update
I am having some of the best AIM conversations with Noah tonight. Here are some chatlogs..
Angus McLump: talking to him make me want to drink myself into a coma it was so bad
RedSectorA17: Hahaha
RedSectorA17: Because he was a terrible person or because he was just that much of a downer?
Angus McLump: just that much of a downer
Angus McLump: i will not transcribe the conversation
Angus McLump: starting with him
Angus McLump: then me
Angus McLump: here we go
Angus McLump: i love baseball
Angus McLump: oh?
Angus McLump: yeah i used to play as a kid, i could pitch 75 mph when i was 10
Angus McLump: awesome
Angus McLump: then i got cancer
Angus McLump: oh?
Angus McLump: yeah
Angus McLump: what happened
Angus McLump: lost the vision in my left eye
Angus McLump: dear lord
Angus McLump: its ok, before that though i was destined for the major leagues
Angus McLump: yeah i can imagine
Angus McLump: i then destroyed my rotator cuff beyond repair trying to pitch 75 to impress a girl
Angus McLump: did it work?
Angus McLump: nah she dumped me after that
Angus McLump: jesus
Angus McLump: yeah my brother was destined for the majors too
Angus McLump: oh? how's he doing
Angus McLump: he's addicted to drugs
Angus McLump: christ, i'm going to go drown myself now
Angus McLump: fin
RedSectorA17: That was the most enthralling one-act AIM play this season, without a doubt
----
RedSectorA17: So I've got my life plan set out
RedSectorA17: Wanna hear it?
Angus McLump: shoot
RedSectorA17: Instead of getting a real job where I might be expected to do work, I am going to continue my freelance writing career, and also apply to be a substitute teaching aide here. I am taking an education course as well as a couple english classes next semester... after next semester and a bit teaching experience under my belt I'm going to move to Maryland with the hot older lady, where I won't have to pay rent.. continue to be a sub and taking classes out there until I get an English degree or something, then I'll start teaching full-time, while writing on the side... within 5 or so years I'll write the next Great American Novel, and get shitloads of money, and then get paid to write really shitty novels that attempt to be as good as my original but will never be close, while getting spit on by critics and adored by my fans (mostly middle-aged housewives) - meanwhile living a life of luxury on the east coast, complete with sex, booze and crabs - eventually I'll retire to a ranch in Texas where I will spend my days shooting wildlife and yelling at anybody who comes near my property
Angus McLump: *tear*
Angus McLump: that's....that's.......beautiful!
RedSectorA17: I thought so
RedSectorA17: I am pretty much set, except for the part where I have to write the great american novenl
Angus McLump: i've got a plan too
Angus McLump: its eerily similar
Angus McLump: i formulated it last week
RedSectorA17: Does it involve leeching off my considerable future wealth
Angus McLump: no
Angus McLump: leeching off some one elses
Angus McLump: step one
Angus McLump: win pulitzer prize
Angus McLump: step two
Angus McLump: find rich old spinster who is easily impressed by literary accomplishments
Angus McLump: step three
Angus McLump: become a trophy husband and live in the lap of luxury while mainting a stable of mistresses
RedSectorA17: Excellent!
----
Angus McLump: rich women don't find comedy sexy or worthy of showing off at socialite functions
Angus McLump: therefor i shall parlay my status as a pulitzer writer to write comedy screenplays all of which will be written with the funniest man to ever live, chris farley, in mind for the lead
Angus McLump: since he's dead the hollywood producers will butcher my dream bu putting unfunny fat men in my movies
Angus McLump: like horatio sanz
Angus McLump: and i'll become a hollywood shill
Angus McLump: but a rich one
RedSectorA17: Indeed
RedSectorA17: Many times I will fly out to Hollywood
RedSectorA17: To hob-knob with you
RedSectorA17: Which in this case will equate to chugging gin
----
RedSectorA17: I may need your help to make some money
RedSectorA17: One of the markets I have found is http://www.hipsandcurves.com/ ...they pay $50-200 dollars for really short erotic stories about getting it on with fat girls wearing lingerie
RedSectorA17: I know it is a subject you are well versed in
Angus McLump: mike
Angus McLump: i am simultaniously offended by your insinuation and enticed by the though of getting money for smut
----
Angus McLump: wouldn't it be amazing
Angus McLump: if this moment
Angus McLump: right now
Angus McLump: were the starting point
Angus McLump: of a full and brilliant writing carreer for the both of us a duo
Angus McLump: we'd be like weiss hickman
Angus McLump: and this can forever be in our shamful past
RedSectorA17: Hahaha
RedSectorA17: I would love it so much
Angus McLump: in interviwe "where did you get your start"
Angus McLump: mike : We....
noah : fat chick porn
RedSectorA17: Oh man I'm laughing so hard
RedSectorA17: Seriously though
RedSectorA17: We would be like Hemingway, but better
RedSectorA17: Because there will be TWO alcoholics
RedSectorA17: Not just one
I laughed a lot. Hopefully somebody else will find them funny
Angus McLump: talking to him make me want to drink myself into a coma it was so bad
RedSectorA17: Hahaha
RedSectorA17: Because he was a terrible person or because he was just that much of a downer?
Angus McLump: just that much of a downer
Angus McLump: i will not transcribe the conversation
Angus McLump: starting with him
Angus McLump: then me
Angus McLump: here we go
Angus McLump: i love baseball
Angus McLump: oh?
Angus McLump: yeah i used to play as a kid, i could pitch 75 mph when i was 10
Angus McLump: awesome
Angus McLump: then i got cancer
Angus McLump: oh?
Angus McLump: yeah
Angus McLump: what happened
Angus McLump: lost the vision in my left eye
Angus McLump: dear lord
Angus McLump: its ok, before that though i was destined for the major leagues
Angus McLump: yeah i can imagine
Angus McLump: i then destroyed my rotator cuff beyond repair trying to pitch 75 to impress a girl
Angus McLump: did it work?
Angus McLump: nah she dumped me after that
Angus McLump: jesus
Angus McLump: yeah my brother was destined for the majors too
Angus McLump: oh? how's he doing
Angus McLump: he's addicted to drugs
Angus McLump: christ, i'm going to go drown myself now
Angus McLump: fin
RedSectorA17: That was the most enthralling one-act AIM play this season, without a doubt
----
RedSectorA17: So I've got my life plan set out
RedSectorA17: Wanna hear it?
Angus McLump: shoot
RedSectorA17: Instead of getting a real job where I might be expected to do work, I am going to continue my freelance writing career, and also apply to be a substitute teaching aide here. I am taking an education course as well as a couple english classes next semester... after next semester and a bit teaching experience under my belt I'm going to move to Maryland with the hot older lady, where I won't have to pay rent.. continue to be a sub and taking classes out there until I get an English degree or something, then I'll start teaching full-time, while writing on the side... within 5 or so years I'll write the next Great American Novel, and get shitloads of money, and then get paid to write really shitty novels that attempt to be as good as my original but will never be close, while getting spit on by critics and adored by my fans (mostly middle-aged housewives) - meanwhile living a life of luxury on the east coast, complete with sex, booze and crabs - eventually I'll retire to a ranch in Texas where I will spend my days shooting wildlife and yelling at anybody who comes near my property
Angus McLump: *tear*
Angus McLump: that's....that's.......beautiful!
RedSectorA17: I thought so
RedSectorA17: I am pretty much set, except for the part where I have to write the great american novenl
Angus McLump: i've got a plan too
Angus McLump: its eerily similar
Angus McLump: i formulated it last week
RedSectorA17: Does it involve leeching off my considerable future wealth
Angus McLump: no
Angus McLump: leeching off some one elses
Angus McLump: step one
Angus McLump: win pulitzer prize
Angus McLump: step two
Angus McLump: find rich old spinster who is easily impressed by literary accomplishments
Angus McLump: step three
Angus McLump: become a trophy husband and live in the lap of luxury while mainting a stable of mistresses
RedSectorA17: Excellent!
----
Angus McLump: rich women don't find comedy sexy or worthy of showing off at socialite functions
Angus McLump: therefor i shall parlay my status as a pulitzer writer to write comedy screenplays all of which will be written with the funniest man to ever live, chris farley, in mind for the lead
Angus McLump: since he's dead the hollywood producers will butcher my dream bu putting unfunny fat men in my movies
Angus McLump: like horatio sanz
Angus McLump: and i'll become a hollywood shill
Angus McLump: but a rich one
RedSectorA17: Indeed
RedSectorA17: Many times I will fly out to Hollywood
RedSectorA17: To hob-knob with you
RedSectorA17: Which in this case will equate to chugging gin
----
RedSectorA17: I may need your help to make some money
RedSectorA17: One of the markets I have found is http://www.hipsandcurves.com/ ...they pay $50-200 dollars for really short erotic stories about getting it on with fat girls wearing lingerie
RedSectorA17: I know it is a subject you are well versed in
Angus McLump: mike
Angus McLump: i am simultaniously offended by your insinuation and enticed by the though of getting money for smut
----
Angus McLump: wouldn't it be amazing
Angus McLump: if this moment
Angus McLump: right now
Angus McLump: were the starting point
Angus McLump: of a full and brilliant writing carreer for the both of us a duo
Angus McLump: we'd be like weiss hickman
Angus McLump: and this can forever be in our shamful past
RedSectorA17: Hahaha
RedSectorA17: I would love it so much
Angus McLump: in interviwe "where did you get your start"
Angus McLump: mike : We....
noah : fat chick porn
RedSectorA17: Oh man I'm laughing so hard
RedSectorA17: Seriously though
RedSectorA17: We would be like Hemingway, but better
RedSectorA17: Because there will be TWO alcoholics
RedSectorA17: Not just one
I laughed a lot. Hopefully somebody else will find them funny