Story of a life?
Nobody reads this thing anymore, but I need somewhere to put some things. Hi LiveJournal.
Wednesday will be 2 months since Mom died.. and today is one week since my good friend Eric passed away after he suffered a stroke on the 14th. I'm just.. it's like living in a video game, nothing feels real. I guess I'm in shock? Still processing? Being disabled and unable to work, Mom had lived with me for most of the last 4 years, and just like that my entire life is completely different. There are big holes in everything, places where she used to fit are now empty, there's always something missing.
I'm trying to take all the pieces and build them into some form of 'new normal' but it's like having pieces from a dozen different jigsaws, even when they do fit together like you think they should they don't quite look right.
My Dad tried for a couple of days after Mom passed away to keep in contact with me but you could tell it was awkward and weird, he wants to have some sort of relationship but he's been out of my life for 20 years now - that's 6 more than he was actually IN it, and I have no idea how to go about changing that or if I even want to.
Right now I'm just doing the day to day as well as I can manage, but it feels like something is off. I've got some sort of emotional/mental dissonance thing going on where I know I need to do something, but no idea what or how or when. I hope that settles eventually.
Wednesday will be 2 months since Mom died.. and today is one week since my good friend Eric passed away after he suffered a stroke on the 14th. I'm just.. it's like living in a video game, nothing feels real. I guess I'm in shock? Still processing? Being disabled and unable to work, Mom had lived with me for most of the last 4 years, and just like that my entire life is completely different. There are big holes in everything, places where she used to fit are now empty, there's always something missing.
I'm trying to take all the pieces and build them into some form of 'new normal' but it's like having pieces from a dozen different jigsaws, even when they do fit together like you think they should they don't quite look right.
My Dad tried for a couple of days after Mom passed away to keep in contact with me but you could tell it was awkward and weird, he wants to have some sort of relationship but he's been out of my life for 20 years now - that's 6 more than he was actually IN it, and I have no idea how to go about changing that or if I even want to.
Right now I'm just doing the day to day as well as I can manage, but it feels like something is off. I've got some sort of emotional/mental dissonance thing going on where I know I need to do something, but no idea what or how or when. I hope that settles eventually.