Dad's service
The past couple of days have been a whirlwind of emotions with a wonderful service for my Dad on Saturday which had some beautiful words from his Pastor Bob about what Dad wanted us to know about where he felt he was going, loving eulogies from Jason and myself, poems and shared stories from his incredible grandkids and my awesome nieces ending in a beautiful rendition of Amazing Grace started off by a bagpiper and sung by Nina who encouraged a singalong. It was loving and simple and exactly what Dad would've loved. And to see such a turn out of family and old friends that I haven't seen in years as well as friends of Dad's whom I've never met was so amazing. Jay's video and music montage was a fitting tribute for a man who was loved and adored by so many. Almost everyone who approached us afterwards commented on how it was such a great and unique service.
Saturday evening was dinner and drinks with friends and family which later became more and more drinks. Sunday was spent doing nothing as Nina and Oscar and I went for a walk and an leisurely drive home from Burlington. Today was my first day back to work where I was greeted with cards and words of condolence and support and lots of hugs.
I wanted to include my involuntarily expletive enhanced eulogy which was not written as such but became that way in its delivery. Several times, I paused and swore when I found it difficult to read what I'd written which elicited some unintentional but welcomed laughter. Given my Dad's sense of humour, I'm sure he enjoyed it too.
"A favourite movie of mine is a lovely little film called Slumdog Millionaire which is the story of an 18 year old kid from the slums of Mumbai who wins India’s version of Who Want To Be A Millionaire. When he’s accused of cheating, he proves how he came to know the answers as a result of various experiences that he went through in his lifetime. The culmination of his life events and memories allowed him to get to where he was at that moment. It’s a perfect example of how one’s life experiences and the people that one has in their life completely make someone who they are.
Dad was a huge and awesome influence in my life and I am who I am today largely because of him. He was caring and honest and so open and generous with his time. He was a huge nerd, a great music lover and was often incredibly funny. He was also quite the charmer and a huge flirt (sometimes embarrassingly so) and people just gravitated to him. He was also a pretty handsome guy and if you know me at all, you know I am also all of these things. Especially the handsome, nerdy part.
I have so many awesome and fond memories of him, more and more of which come out as I talk about him with others and look through old photographs. Memories like:
• Oven mitt fights in the kitchen while cooking dinner. He would allow Jay and I to gain an advantage as we often tagteamed him but he would always come back with a flourish and it was always end with out of breath laughing
• Having drunken singalongs around the fire at the camp and the one time while singing Down By The Bay where you can adlib a verse after the line “for if I do, my mother would say” and Dad chose to sing “Ya ever seen a witch, diggin’ in a ditch, son of a bitch?”.
• The one time while driving and Dad cleared his throat and turned to spit out the window only to realize the window was not rolled down.
• How he would go see a movie like Raiders of the Lost Ark or Superman or Blade Runner to make sure it was something that was okay for us to see and then go back to see it with us and lean over and talk us through any scary bits.
• How we always listened to mixed tapes and sang along in the car on every road trip to the camp something that I do to this day with my own small family.
• The many times walking with him from his home in First Place to Toby’s in Jackson Square which was one of his favourite places to go and not being able to go two blocks without someone saying “Hi Pat!” or “Hello Patrick”. He was just a popular guy.
• How all of my friends in high school upon meeting him thought it was cool that our Dad was this bearded long-haired guy who let us have house parties since he also like our friends back and trusted us to make good decisions and to also clean up by the time he got home the next day.
• The time recently when Jay and I took him to see the latest Star Wars movie which coincidentally was also his first 3D film and the way he said “whooaaa” during some of the really cool 3D moments.
• Seeing the look of pure joy on his face when he was finally able to meet and hold my son, his grandson.
In the last week since his passing, I’ve woken up and lain there in bed unable to sleep with the sudden realization that I won’t be hearing his voice again. I won’t be able to take in his slow, well thought out, methodical answers to my most important questions. I will no longer have his influence to help me solve my latest crisis.
Then, I roll over and look at my newborn son peacefully sleeping and realize, “It’s my turn.” It’s time to take all that I’ve learned, all that I’ve experienced, all the awesomeness and hilarity and openness and generosity and nerdiness and caring and most obvious good looks that I got from Dad and impart that onto my son. The student becoming the teacher. I have to be the influence to Oscar that Dad was to me and Jay. I can only hope that I can be as awesome a father to him that Dad was to us. In that way, Oscar will grow up to be an amazing young man and have awesome life experiences and it will be in large part due to Dad’s influence on me and how he raised Jay and I.
If I may indulge my nerdy side a bit and quote Gandalf from Lord Of The Rings who said, “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.” Though Dad didn’t live as long a life as he could’ve he certainly made the most of the time that he was here and lived a rich and full life and left a legacy that he could be proud of. All of the people here today are a testament to that. And in the end, isn’t that all that all that really matters?
I will always love you, Dad and I will never forget you."
Saturday evening was dinner and drinks with friends and family which later became more and more drinks. Sunday was spent doing nothing as Nina and Oscar and I went for a walk and an leisurely drive home from Burlington. Today was my first day back to work where I was greeted with cards and words of condolence and support and lots of hugs.
I wanted to include my involuntarily expletive enhanced eulogy which was not written as such but became that way in its delivery. Several times, I paused and swore when I found it difficult to read what I'd written which elicited some unintentional but welcomed laughter. Given my Dad's sense of humour, I'm sure he enjoyed it too.
"A favourite movie of mine is a lovely little film called Slumdog Millionaire which is the story of an 18 year old kid from the slums of Mumbai who wins India’s version of Who Want To Be A Millionaire. When he’s accused of cheating, he proves how he came to know the answers as a result of various experiences that he went through in his lifetime. The culmination of his life events and memories allowed him to get to where he was at that moment. It’s a perfect example of how one’s life experiences and the people that one has in their life completely make someone who they are.
Dad was a huge and awesome influence in my life and I am who I am today largely because of him. He was caring and honest and so open and generous with his time. He was a huge nerd, a great music lover and was often incredibly funny. He was also quite the charmer and a huge flirt (sometimes embarrassingly so) and people just gravitated to him. He was also a pretty handsome guy and if you know me at all, you know I am also all of these things. Especially the handsome, nerdy part.
I have so many awesome and fond memories of him, more and more of which come out as I talk about him with others and look through old photographs. Memories like:
• Oven mitt fights in the kitchen while cooking dinner. He would allow Jay and I to gain an advantage as we often tagteamed him but he would always come back with a flourish and it was always end with out of breath laughing
• Having drunken singalongs around the fire at the camp and the one time while singing Down By The Bay where you can adlib a verse after the line “for if I do, my mother would say” and Dad chose to sing “Ya ever seen a witch, diggin’ in a ditch, son of a bitch?”.
• The one time while driving and Dad cleared his throat and turned to spit out the window only to realize the window was not rolled down.
• How he would go see a movie like Raiders of the Lost Ark or Superman or Blade Runner to make sure it was something that was okay for us to see and then go back to see it with us and lean over and talk us through any scary bits.
• How we always listened to mixed tapes and sang along in the car on every road trip to the camp something that I do to this day with my own small family.
• The many times walking with him from his home in First Place to Toby’s in Jackson Square which was one of his favourite places to go and not being able to go two blocks without someone saying “Hi Pat!” or “Hello Patrick”. He was just a popular guy.
• How all of my friends in high school upon meeting him thought it was cool that our Dad was this bearded long-haired guy who let us have house parties since he also like our friends back and trusted us to make good decisions and to also clean up by the time he got home the next day.
• The time recently when Jay and I took him to see the latest Star Wars movie which coincidentally was also his first 3D film and the way he said “whooaaa” during some of the really cool 3D moments.
• Seeing the look of pure joy on his face when he was finally able to meet and hold my son, his grandson.
In the last week since his passing, I’ve woken up and lain there in bed unable to sleep with the sudden realization that I won’t be hearing his voice again. I won’t be able to take in his slow, well thought out, methodical answers to my most important questions. I will no longer have his influence to help me solve my latest crisis.
Then, I roll over and look at my newborn son peacefully sleeping and realize, “It’s my turn.” It’s time to take all that I’ve learned, all that I’ve experienced, all the awesomeness and hilarity and openness and generosity and nerdiness and caring and most obvious good looks that I got from Dad and impart that onto my son. The student becoming the teacher. I have to be the influence to Oscar that Dad was to me and Jay. I can only hope that I can be as awesome a father to him that Dad was to us. In that way, Oscar will grow up to be an amazing young man and have awesome life experiences and it will be in large part due to Dad’s influence on me and how he raised Jay and I.
If I may indulge my nerdy side a bit and quote Gandalf from Lord Of The Rings who said, “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.” Though Dad didn’t live as long a life as he could’ve he certainly made the most of the time that he was here and lived a rich and full life and left a legacy that he could be proud of. All of the people here today are a testament to that. And in the end, isn’t that all that all that really matters?
I will always love you, Dad and I will never forget you."