Species Mom
So it has been really challenging getting the kids registered at this new school. And I'm not sure why it has been so difficult. The only thing I can think of is that the Gods upstairs thought it would be funny to try and test my patience. Which I don't have much to begin with anyway. Long story short, I registered them at the beginning of the month. There was a woman (we'll call her Martha) working the front desk who has serious honesty issues. Her copier didn't work, her fax wasn't set up. I had brought my lease in, and the proper paperwork. And Martha tells me to just bring it back on opening night. (Lie number 1) You know that warning sign that starts to flash in your head when you know someone has given you shitty information? It's usually a smart thing to listen to that warning sign, instead of doing what I did, and walk away without getting another person to help me. So two weeks goes by, and the school nurse calls me to tell me they hadn't recieved the kids records. That she had tried to call the school "numerous" times, but they never returned her call. And then she turns right around and tells me that they can't request the kids' records until they have verification of residency. UM.....what? (Lie 2) You just told me you couldn't request the records, and then turn right around and then tell me your calls weren't returned. So which one is it? So I calmly try to explain to her that I had already brought my lease in, but the dipshit up front couldn't make copies, and told me to bring it in opening night. She explained that that woman had only been there a year, and still got things "mixed up". NO SHIT.
So Nurse proceeds to tell me my kids aren't registered....blah blah blah. So I call the boys last school. Get Linda the Registar (God bless her soul) on the phone and tell her what's going on. She says, "Well I'll just check the request form, to see if they've even requested records yet." I'm liking her yet again. She comes back and says "They haven't even put a request infor the boys records. And I've been here all week. We haven't recieved any calls from that school, I checked our phone log." So that's lie number two this office staff has been busted on. So I drag the kids and I up to the school. Provide my residency form, again. They check it. AGAIN. And then lady number three (Preggo) comes in with an attitude. I immediately want to ask her if she's from Lakeway, she acts so stuck up. Starts telling me that once they now have the residency proof, they can request the records. Ok, yes I understand that. And then she looks me right in the face and says well, "We need this, this, and this from you." I again explain to her that I've misplaced the box with their birth certificates, but that those are in their school records. At this point she looks confused as all hell. I look at her and say, "Tell you what. Why don't you request their records from the school first. And if for some oddball reason anything is missing, why don't YOU call ME, and let me know what else you need. But other than that, they should be fine." She seems like she understands what I'm saying, but it was like some genetic defect you have when you're pregnant, and you really try and understand what someone is saying to you, but you just can't grasp it yet. Again, another warning sign I should have seen, since I've been pregnant, and I vividly remember the moron stage, where you can't even remember your own fucking name, much less help out in a complicated situation.
And here's the crown glory of the moment. We go to opening night last night, for the boys to meet their teachers. At this point my anemia has been seriously kicking my ass. I'm bone tired. I'm feeling supremely bitchy. (not a big surprise there..it happens to the best of us) and I'm not feeling too cute, strike number three. I go up to the list. And I look. And I look. And Bri looks over at me, and says "Not there huh." And it hits me. My kids aren't registered. They aren't in a classroom. And school starts in four days. And I'm not sure what kind of transformation I did. It kind of felt like something from Species, where I was a Mom one minute and a foaming red-eyed Mom slash Beast-Bitch thing. And Brian sees the transformation because he starts saying, "Mel...calm down, don't do anything stupid,, it's going to be ok.." And I vaguely remember hearing the Panic in his voice before I uttered a few obcenities and pushed my way into the Front Office. And there was Preggo. The minute she saw me she got that "Oh shit" look on her face. And I walked right up to her and said "MY KIDS ARE NOT REGISTERED FOR SCHOOL. THEY AREN'T IN A CLASSROOM. EXPLAIN TO ME RIGHT NOW WHY THEY AREN'T IN A BLOODY CLASSROOM!" And the whole room gets quiet, and it becomes like a fascinated freak show where they are wondering if I'm going to take out the retarded Preggo lady. And she looks at me and do you know what she said? "We don't have their records yet. So we couldn't assign them to a classroom" And that snotty voice set me over the edge and I lost it. Bri was telling me to calm down, which hello tip number one. If you're a guy and you're reading this, don't ever tell a pissed off woman to "calm down" and if you value your jewels, do NOT under any circumstances use a pacifying voice. It tends to make things escalate. Because even that set me off. So this is the part where I explained to her exactly why we were in the situation we were in. That I had been given shitty information. Ousted Martha and her lies in front of the whole staff. That they had no integrity, and if they had done their job, we wouldn't be in this stupid situation.. At this point Bri is trying to tell me I'm getting off on the wrong foot and I'm going to alienate the whole staff. When you're with someone who's gone into the Species transformation, it's not something I would advise, because it doesn't generally help. All you can do is shut the hell up and pray that no one dies.
So I grab his phone, and miraculously, get our old Principal on the phone. She gives me such a warm welcome that I end up sobbing on a bench in front of the new school. Her telling me she was mad at me for leaving and taking her kids away didn't exactly help. So I calm down, explain to her what happened, and she promptly informed me that the new school was in violation. That no school can deny a child education. And that "BY LAW" they have to give me thirty days to get them my records, but that they have to put the kids in a classroom. She gets worked up, lol, and tells me she's going to put a call in to the principal tomorrow. And she says "You know what, I'm going to make sure they understand that you know your rights as a parent, and that they better put "our boys" in a classroom." So by this time, the boys hear that I'm on the phone with our old principal and they are telling me to tell her hi, and god. I made a point of telling her that I would trade schools in a heartbeat if I could, because they just didn't have "heart". We hang up.
I just wanted to start off on a good foot, and have a positive experience. And I really hate dealing with stupid people. They make my head hurt. So I go back in, after Bri gets through telling me "Look Sue, you just deballed this woman in front of the whole staff..try and be nice." Which again, I wouldn't advise, because my first reaction was if she had done her fucking job right the first time, I wouldn't have had to "deball" anyone. Which again, sets my temper off. Which at this point, was feeling like something alien had taken over my body and all it wanted to do was take out revenge, like some bad sci-fi movie. LOL So I go back in. I take several deep breaths. She had taken off, so I had to wait for her to come back in. (Preggo that is) and I am watching the office and hearing a woman get told they had lost her paperwork, and that she would have to register her child all over again. And right about that time we hear the speakers thanking the parents for coming to Meet the teacher night, which both of us have now missed. Something else that set me off. When she was walking away, "Martha" the one who has honesty issues, tells this woman "after she had just gotten through telling her they had lost her files" says get this: "Well, we left you messages, and no one returned our call." And this woman stops dead in her tracks, and makes the Species Transformation. She turns around, red eyes and all, and says in a voice loud enough for the whole office to hear, "IF YOU LOST MY FILES, HOW DID YOU KNOW WHAT NUMBER TO CALL ME AT?" And now this office has two Transformed Species Mothers. Which I wouldn't advise. If you've ever noticed when two Species Moms get together, they automatically sense thier kinship, and proceed to Feed off of each other. So it's extremely Dangerous to sit them next to one another, because then all hell usually breaks loose. And you'll notice that when you sit one Species Mother next to another Species mother (with the snapping red eyes, and tapping foot to go with it) that they begin to confide in one another almost immediately. Which can be a bad thing, because then they start eating people again. LOL
Not sure what my old Principal said, but the Asst Prin. from the new school called me this morning and let me know that with Mikey's high scores, he was needing to be in a GT class. And that they had originally put him with a first year teacher. I'm not going to even touch that. So they are in good classrooms, and hopefully my Species Mom won't have to come out again any time soon. She really doesn't play well with others.
Copywrited, 2008, Melissa Scandariato
So Nurse proceeds to tell me my kids aren't registered....blah blah blah. So I call the boys last school. Get Linda the Registar (God bless her soul) on the phone and tell her what's going on. She says, "Well I'll just check the request form, to see if they've even requested records yet." I'm liking her yet again. She comes back and says "They haven't even put a request infor the boys records. And I've been here all week. We haven't recieved any calls from that school, I checked our phone log." So that's lie number two this office staff has been busted on. So I drag the kids and I up to the school. Provide my residency form, again. They check it. AGAIN. And then lady number three (Preggo) comes in with an attitude. I immediately want to ask her if she's from Lakeway, she acts so stuck up. Starts telling me that once they now have the residency proof, they can request the records. Ok, yes I understand that. And then she looks me right in the face and says well, "We need this, this, and this from you." I again explain to her that I've misplaced the box with their birth certificates, but that those are in their school records. At this point she looks confused as all hell. I look at her and say, "Tell you what. Why don't you request their records from the school first. And if for some oddball reason anything is missing, why don't YOU call ME, and let me know what else you need. But other than that, they should be fine." She seems like she understands what I'm saying, but it was like some genetic defect you have when you're pregnant, and you really try and understand what someone is saying to you, but you just can't grasp it yet. Again, another warning sign I should have seen, since I've been pregnant, and I vividly remember the moron stage, where you can't even remember your own fucking name, much less help out in a complicated situation.
And here's the crown glory of the moment. We go to opening night last night, for the boys to meet their teachers. At this point my anemia has been seriously kicking my ass. I'm bone tired. I'm feeling supremely bitchy. (not a big surprise there..it happens to the best of us) and I'm not feeling too cute, strike number three. I go up to the list. And I look. And I look. And Bri looks over at me, and says "Not there huh." And it hits me. My kids aren't registered. They aren't in a classroom. And school starts in four days. And I'm not sure what kind of transformation I did. It kind of felt like something from Species, where I was a Mom one minute and a foaming red-eyed Mom slash Beast-Bitch thing. And Brian sees the transformation because he starts saying, "Mel...calm down, don't do anything stupid,, it's going to be ok.." And I vaguely remember hearing the Panic in his voice before I uttered a few obcenities and pushed my way into the Front Office. And there was Preggo. The minute she saw me she got that "Oh shit" look on her face. And I walked right up to her and said "MY KIDS ARE NOT REGISTERED FOR SCHOOL. THEY AREN'T IN A CLASSROOM. EXPLAIN TO ME RIGHT NOW WHY THEY AREN'T IN A BLOODY CLASSROOM!" And the whole room gets quiet, and it becomes like a fascinated freak show where they are wondering if I'm going to take out the retarded Preggo lady. And she looks at me and do you know what she said? "We don't have their records yet. So we couldn't assign them to a classroom" And that snotty voice set me over the edge and I lost it. Bri was telling me to calm down, which hello tip number one. If you're a guy and you're reading this, don't ever tell a pissed off woman to "calm down" and if you value your jewels, do NOT under any circumstances use a pacifying voice. It tends to make things escalate. Because even that set me off. So this is the part where I explained to her exactly why we were in the situation we were in. That I had been given shitty information. Ousted Martha and her lies in front of the whole staff. That they had no integrity, and if they had done their job, we wouldn't be in this stupid situation.. At this point Bri is trying to tell me I'm getting off on the wrong foot and I'm going to alienate the whole staff. When you're with someone who's gone into the Species transformation, it's not something I would advise, because it doesn't generally help. All you can do is shut the hell up and pray that no one dies.
So I grab his phone, and miraculously, get our old Principal on the phone. She gives me such a warm welcome that I end up sobbing on a bench in front of the new school. Her telling me she was mad at me for leaving and taking her kids away didn't exactly help. So I calm down, explain to her what happened, and she promptly informed me that the new school was in violation. That no school can deny a child education. And that "BY LAW" they have to give me thirty days to get them my records, but that they have to put the kids in a classroom. She gets worked up, lol, and tells me she's going to put a call in to the principal tomorrow. And she says "You know what, I'm going to make sure they understand that you know your rights as a parent, and that they better put "our boys" in a classroom." So by this time, the boys hear that I'm on the phone with our old principal and they are telling me to tell her hi, and god. I made a point of telling her that I would trade schools in a heartbeat if I could, because they just didn't have "heart". We hang up.
I just wanted to start off on a good foot, and have a positive experience. And I really hate dealing with stupid people. They make my head hurt. So I go back in, after Bri gets through telling me "Look Sue, you just deballed this woman in front of the whole staff..try and be nice." Which again, I wouldn't advise, because my first reaction was if she had done her fucking job right the first time, I wouldn't have had to "deball" anyone. Which again, sets my temper off. Which at this point, was feeling like something alien had taken over my body and all it wanted to do was take out revenge, like some bad sci-fi movie. LOL So I go back in. I take several deep breaths. She had taken off, so I had to wait for her to come back in. (Preggo that is) and I am watching the office and hearing a woman get told they had lost her paperwork, and that she would have to register her child all over again. And right about that time we hear the speakers thanking the parents for coming to Meet the teacher night, which both of us have now missed. Something else that set me off. When she was walking away, "Martha" the one who has honesty issues, tells this woman "after she had just gotten through telling her they had lost her files" says get this: "Well, we left you messages, and no one returned our call." And this woman stops dead in her tracks, and makes the Species Transformation. She turns around, red eyes and all, and says in a voice loud enough for the whole office to hear, "IF YOU LOST MY FILES, HOW DID YOU KNOW WHAT NUMBER TO CALL ME AT?" And now this office has two Transformed Species Mothers. Which I wouldn't advise. If you've ever noticed when two Species Moms get together, they automatically sense thier kinship, and proceed to Feed off of each other. So it's extremely Dangerous to sit them next to one another, because then all hell usually breaks loose. And you'll notice that when you sit one Species Mother next to another Species mother (with the snapping red eyes, and tapping foot to go with it) that they begin to confide in one another almost immediately. Which can be a bad thing, because then they start eating people again. LOL
Not sure what my old Principal said, but the Asst Prin. from the new school called me this morning and let me know that with Mikey's high scores, he was needing to be in a GT class. And that they had originally put him with a first year teacher. I'm not going to even touch that. So they are in good classrooms, and hopefully my Species Mom won't have to come out again any time soon. She really doesn't play well with others.
Copywrited, 2008, Melissa Scandariato