airlift report....
it was awesome to be in NH last week -- and awesome to feel as though i was helping. For all that i needed to be out of here, she obviously needed me too....needed a sounding board *and* needed not to be alone. so lots of conversations....thinking about the future...about what we want in the future....it was good.
i'm pretty clear that where i am now is unsustainable. i'm anxious and unhappy. and perhaps not unreasonably. i am not getting what i need.
and what do i need? i need.....to be cared for. to have people make time for me, let me know that i am important enough to make time for.
i am hoping that some of my existing friends can be part of that. i love ian and can't imagine him not part of my life. i hope ravi and i can repair things, though at this point i don't have a lot of faith that that will happen. but i also need to expand what i do and where i go. i want to spend more time with paul. with diana. and i need to at least explore new friends. donna and shelley maybe. and even meeting new people.
paul's advice -- "when someone invites you out of your comfort zone, say yes."
Good advice. i kinda screwed it up today by not meeting diana at the adobe jam....but i won't screw up next time.
tonight, i'm feeling icky. anxious but chances are that's bc i drank yesterday, and i know alcohol is a depressant. so i'll do my best..stay in and self-care....and hope for better tomorrow.
i'm pretty clear that where i am now is unsustainable. i'm anxious and unhappy. and perhaps not unreasonably. i am not getting what i need.
and what do i need? i need.....to be cared for. to have people make time for me, let me know that i am important enough to make time for.
i am hoping that some of my existing friends can be part of that. i love ian and can't imagine him not part of my life. i hope ravi and i can repair things, though at this point i don't have a lot of faith that that will happen. but i also need to expand what i do and where i go. i want to spend more time with paul. with diana. and i need to at least explore new friends. donna and shelley maybe. and even meeting new people.
paul's advice -- "when someone invites you out of your comfort zone, say yes."
Good advice. i kinda screwed it up today by not meeting diana at the adobe jam....but i won't screw up next time.
tonight, i'm feeling icky. anxious but chances are that's bc i drank yesterday, and i know alcohol is a depressant. so i'll do my best..stay in and self-care....and hope for better tomorrow.