(no subject)
Dear Body,
Toes.
For having tortured you en pointe for about a year and a half, y'all look pretty good. Left pinkie toe, however, I have a bone to pick with you. Actually, more with your nail. Why is half of you so damn thick? That's unnatural. But overall, thanks for letting me have (some) balance over the years.
Feet.
You look pretty good for ballerina/cheerleader/swimmer feet. Those random peeling things are kinda strange, but whatever. But the width is ridiculous. I'd love to be able to wear size 6 shoes, but seriously, having to buy size 8 shoes because shoes aren't made that wide is slightly annoying.
Achilles Tendon.
Sorry about the blisters from shoes. You can blame Feet for that. But thanks for never tearing or anything like that.
Ankles.
Why are you so thick? You always looked weird in pointe shoes. But thanks for that awesome ballerina arch.
Right ankle. You're pretty awesome. The arch is amazing.
Left ankle. Sorry for spraining you. I wish you had recovered more after that. Pointe was a bitch to you. I think your arch is better than Right Ankle's.
Calves.
I think that if I were a colonial gentleman, I'd have a hard time choosing which one to put forward. You rock. Although I am quite sorry for the lack of use (other than walking) and the buildup of cellulite. I'll work on that. Also, I'd really appreciate it if you would stop getting those allergic reactions to shaving. That really sucks.
Knees.
I hate you. The only cool think about you is that your Kneecaps are off-center. But you hurt all the time. Why can't you have any cartilage to protect you from Kneecaps?
Thighs.
Sorry that cheerleading made you so huge. Although you did start looking pretty good during ballet. But now, thanks to College, you've gotten fat again. Sorry about the cellulite. Thanks for not making me have to shave very often, though. You're nice and smooth and virtually hairless, and I don't remember when the last time I had to shave you was. Not many girls are so lucky.
Hips.
Why are you shaped so strangely?
Right Hip, you're hurting right now, and I don't know why.
Left Hip, I don't remember the last time you hurt. So I guess that other than the fact that you're shaped strangely, I don't really have anything against you.
Hiney.
Thanks for all the stares from creepy guys on the street. And for the "Kelsey got a big ol' butt, say what? Kelsey got a big ol' butt, oh yeah!" chants in cheerleading. Sorry about the cellulite and for sitting on you all the time.
Lower Back.
I hate that you hurt all the time. Sorry about that disc. I'll get it taken out eventually.
Rest of my back.
You're pretty good. I love the way you curve. And how flexible you are.
Tummy.
You suck. Get skinny again.
Heart.
Sorry for hurting you so much in the last year. Sorry for letting you get attached only to be hurt. But thank you so much for letting me love someone more than I could ever expect to. Thank you for opening up to my Crew and breaking down the walls that I had built up over the years.
Lungs.
I'd really love it if you could stop it with the asthma crap. I've stopped with the cigarettes, so let's do a fair trade. But thanks for letting me breathe (usually).
The Ladies.
Go back down a cup size. You were pretty back then. Now you're huge and weird. Although you have given me a great reason to go bra shopping and are great for playing hookers in plays. But that's just about all you're good for. Well, and something else, but I'm not posting it on FaceBook.
Shoulders.
You're beautiful. I love the freckles and how good of a posture you give me. Although it would be fantastic if you didn't constantly need a rubbing.
Upper Arms.
You're too fat.
Lower arms.
Right lower arm. You're really strong. That's good.
Left lower arm. Sorry for breaking you.
Wrists.
Right Wrist. I think you're thicker than my left wrist.
Left Wrist. Sorry for breaking you.
Hands.
Thank you for being so small. I love having small hands. Sorry about all the times I've had to put you into the sink grinder because Dad or Robert couldn't fit their hands in to retrieve something they dropped in.
Right Hand, the random freckle is awesome.
Fingers.
You are great "Worker" fingers, as Grandma T. puts it. You're small, which makes me happy. Also, you're very graceful when I'm dancing. Thank you for making my dancing that much more beautiful. Sorry for cracking you all the time, though. When you get arthritic, I'll try my best to take care of you.
Left Pinky, that weird chocolate freckle is still annoying. But I love it. It makes me unique.
Neck/Throat.
You're really graceful, and you give me great extension when I'm dancing. Sorry for having girls falling on Head and shoving you down in cheerleading.
Sorry for all the strain when I'm singing. I'm working on that. But thanks for giving me such a beautiful singing voice.
Face.
Why did you have to give me acne? That sucks. But I've finally come to the conclusion that you're beautiful. Thanks for giving me a unique beauty that got me into "John Adams." Thanks for withstanding anger, frustration, tears, and happiness. Thanks for allowing me to do so much with makeup. Although that allergic reaction to the prosthetic during Halloween Haunt sucked, the makeup I got from that was killer.
Eyes.
Go back to blue. Grey is ugly. But thanks for the beautiful Eyelashes. People are always complimenting them. Thank you for letting me wear glasses. I love my glasses. However, I would like it if you weren't always so damn dry.
Eyebrows.
Thanks for being so low-maintenance.
Ears.
Sorry about the holes. But you're so pretty. And I don't think I've ever gotten an ear infection. So thank you for that. And for letting me hear, although I don't always hear everything. I think that really annoys people.
Mouth.
You're so pretty. Sorry about picking at you, though. And for letting you get so chapped during the colder seasons.
Teeth.
Get white. Sorry I don't take better care of you post-braces. My retainer doesn't fit anymore. Whoops.
Hair.
I love you. Except that you could stand to be trimmed right now. But thanks for dealing with me always dying you. You've managed to stay kinda-healthy throughout everything. And I love how I can do anything I want with you. I wish it wasn't so damn hot here so that I could wear you down more often. A little less frizz would be nice, though.
Bones.
Sorry for breaking or spraining a few of you. And cracking quite a few of you. But thanks for the support.
Muscles.
Sorry for abusing most all of you.
Brain.
I wish you could retain more important information. Such as names. I would love to remember more names. And stuff that's important to school. I'm sorry for being crazy, though.
Body.
Thank you for being beautiful and not causing me too many problems. You have stayed strong through whatever activity I have put you through. Thank you so much for making me a beautiful dancer. Thank you for allowing all of my grace to go toward my dancing. I won't hold you responsible for the times when I'm not so graceful. Sorry for the bruises and scrapes, especially the ones I don't remember getting.
Love always,
Moi
